Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler
Richard Ostler
Welcome to our podcast!
My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group.
I am the author of three books:
“Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/5248297.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773)
“Listen Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture” published in 2022. The book explores who we can do better to help all Latter-day Saints feel more welcome, needed and a feeling of belonging in our congregations. Available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/6003149.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462139566)
“Listen Learn and Love: Building the Good Ship Zion” released in Sept 2023. The book explores additional topics to help all Latter-day Saint feel welcome and needed on the Good Ship Zion. Available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/6026921.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462145280)
The purpose of all three books is to help us better create Zion by helping more feel welcome, a sense of belonging, and needed in our congregations.
Proceed from the books go the Stockton Power Memorial Scholarship (www.standingforstockton.com) in honor of Stockton Powers a gay Latter-day Saint teenager who died of suicide in 2016. Everything I do is a self-funded labor of love ❤️
I am the author of two Ensign articles:
‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin
‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use.
This podcast is designed to discuss some more complicated issues in our church to help all of us better “listen, learn and love” so we can minister in a more effective way to all of our Heavenly Parents’ children.
Podcasts are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts
Thank you for joining us. You can't donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening and/or leave a review at Deseret Book/Amazon on my books.
With love, Richard 'Papa' Ostler ❤
Twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler
IG: www.instagram.com/papa_ostler
Facebook: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5
E-mail: richard@ostlergroup.com
My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group.
I am the author of three books:
“Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/5248297.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773)
“Listen Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture” published in 2022. The book explores who we can do better to help all Latter-day Saints feel more welcome, needed and a feeling of belonging in our congregations. Available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/6003149.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462139566)
“Listen Learn and Love: Building the Good Ship Zion” released in Sept 2023. The book explores additional topics to help all Latter-day Saint feel welcome and needed on the Good Ship Zion. Available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/6026921.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462145280)
The purpose of all three books is to help us better create Zion by helping more feel welcome, a sense of belonging, and needed in our congregations.
Proceed from the books go the Stockton Power Memorial Scholarship (www.standingforstockton.com) in honor of Stockton Powers a gay Latter-day Saint teenager who died of suicide in 2016. Everything I do is a self-funded labor of love ❤️
I am the author of two Ensign articles:
‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin
‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use.
This podcast is designed to discuss some more complicated issues in our church to help all of us better “listen, learn and love” so we can minister in a more effective way to all of our Heavenly Parents’ children.
Podcasts are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts
Thank you for joining us. You can't donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening and/or leave a review at Deseret Book/Amazon on my books.
With love, Richard 'Papa' Ostler ❤
Twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler
IG: www.instagram.com/papa_ostler
Facebook: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5
E-mail: richard@ostlergroup.com
Episodes
Mentioned books
Nov 27, 2022 • 1h 45min
Episode 589: Joni and Phil Broderick and Their Gay Son Kyle
My friends Joni and Phil Broderick (parents of four) and their gay son Kyle (recent BYU graduate) join us from their home in Virginia to share their story. Kyle talks about his journey to address and resolve being gay and LDS which reached a crossroads on his mission in Africa where he decided to end his mission and return home. Kyle’s parents learned—in a jolting message—that their son was gay and coming home from his mission. Kyle talks about his experiences at BYU (some good and some difficult) and deciding to step away from the Church.
Joni and Phil talk about being on the receiving side of Kyle’s message and how they navigated this new reality. They talk about their path to learn how to support Kyle and address their fears—which included reading books, listening to podcasts, and prayer.
Joni talks about coming to Utah to attend a NorthStar conference and learning as she arrived in Utah that Kyle was participating in a rally at BYU regarding the honor code changes. Joni talks about her decision to make signs and then attend that rally with Kyle which was covered by the Salt Lake Tribune (link in the show notes). This was a deeply spiritual experience for her.
Joni and Phil talk about their personal revelation for their family and what we can do as a church to better support LGBTQ families.
This is a powerful and moving podcast. If you are parents (with or without a queer child) please listen to this podcast. If you are a local leader, please listen to this podcast. It will help you be better parents and/or local leaders. And if you are a LGBTQ Latter-day Saint, I believe this will help you.
Thank you, Joni, Phil and Kyle, for sharing your story. It is a beautiful family love story that will help so many!
Links mentioned in the podcast:
https://www.sltrib.com/news/education/2020/03/06/hundreds-byu-students/
https://www.instagram.com/p/CiiE17trsfW/
https://deseretbook.com/p/love-boldly-embracing-your-lgbtq-loved-ones-and-your-faith
** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: **
Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints
Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773
** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below **
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143
Nov 24, 2022 • 1h 15min
Episode 588: Bryson Lind, RM, BYU Grad, Gay, Clinical Mental Health Counselor
My friend Bryson Lind (early 30s, Active LDS, Single, Undergrad in Psychology, Masters in Mental Health Counseling) joins us to share his journey as a gay Latter-day Saint.
Bryson talks about the growing up years, his mission, and returning to college. Bryson talks about feeing “monstrous and dark” inside because of his feelings towards men in spite of giving everything on his mission. He talks about coming out to a Bishop and BYU-I (not a good experience) and then being suicidal and the positive/lifesaving experience coming out to his Bishop at Utah State
Bryson talks about many positive experiences at BYU (community, professors, friends, and committees) and his supportive YSA leaders during his graduate work in Denver.
Bryson also talks about, in a deeply moving segment, reconstructing his relationship with Heavenly Father including “the person you think I am, isn’t the person I am.”
Bryson talks about his clinical work at the Marriage and Family Clinic in Spanish Fork (link in the show notes) focusing on LDS LGBTQ.
Thank you, Bryson, for being on the podcast. Your story is powerful. I encourage everyone to listen. And if you are looking for a therapist, please consider reaching out to Bryson.
Links mentioned in the podcast:
https://www.marriageandfamilyclinicutah.com/about-1
bryson@themarriageandfamilyclinic.com
Nov 21, 2022 • 53min
Episode 587: Al Carraway, Noted LDS Speaker and Author, Two New Books, More Jesus
My friend Al Carraway (who was on Episode 114, convert, married mother of 3) joins us to talk about her two new #1 Amazon Best Seller books called:
My Dear Little One: https://www.amazon.com/My-Dear-Little-One-Carraway/dp/1462143636/
Finding Yourself in the New Testament: https://www.amazon.com/Yourself-Testament-Spiritually-Uplifting-Carraway/dp/146214361X
Al shares her insights into our Heavenly Parents and Jesus and Their role in our lives to love, support, and help us. She talks about Their character and ability to bless our lives. Al talks about “More Jesus” is the path to healing and bring us together.
I encourage everyone to check out this podcast and read/share Al’s new book. It will help you feel the love and support of Jesus in your life. I was deeply moved listening to Al and her fresh insights and perspectives to help all of us.
Thank you Al for your wonderful and needed work in our community.
You can find more about Al at www.alcarraway.com
Nov 18, 2022 • 1h 6min
Episode 586: Steven Kapp Perry, Gay Latter-day Saint, BYU Employee, Israel Tour Director
My friend Steven Kapp Perry (host on Classical89.org and the “In Good Faith” podcast, married father of four, songwriter, and playwright) joins us to share his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Steve shares being out for decades to his dear wife Johanne and then recently deciding to come out more broadly to family and close friends.
Steve talks about how he has navigated painful church experiences, found his worth/stability in his relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus, and his love for his wife Johanne. Steve talks about how we can do better (within our doctrine) to better support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints and reminds us these good members are in our ward/family circles citing a recent BYU survey where 13% of students indicated they are something “other than straight”.
Steve talks about the March 2023 Tour of Israel he is directing for LGBTQ folks and their families, friends, and allies. I encourage you to check this out (see link in show notes).
Thank you, Steve for being on the podcast and all you are doing to create Zion.
Links mentioned in the podcast:
Link to the March 2023 Tour of Israel
https://www.mmetours.com/index.php/holy-lands/371-2023-celebrate-the-holy-land-tour-with-steven-kapp-perry-and-friends
Link to Classical 89
http://www.classical89.org
Link to the In Good Faith podcast
http://www.byuradio.org/ingoodfaith
Link to "From Cumorah's Hill"
https://janicekappperry.com/?action=catalog&node=skp&id=26&phpsessid=f435cfaa42cee34c5f47cad65d700f6f
BYU LGBTQ Student Research/13%
https://universe.byu.edu/2021/03/11/recent-survey-finds-nearly-1000-byu-student-survey-respondents-identify-as-lgbtq/
Current Teachings vs Obsolete Teachings: https://meghandecker.com/resources-1/blog-post-title-one-2kxet
** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below **
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143
Nov 15, 2022 • 57min
Episode 585: Karl Beckstrand, Author, Bisexual Latter-day Saint
My friend Karl Beckstrand (single, active LDS writer in his mid-50s) shares his story about being exposed to gay sex at a young age and contending for years between God’s will and how he was relating with others. He learned that nothing takes God by surprise, that God can empower us to live our most fulfilling lives, and that everything can be consecrated to our joy—now and forever. Karl discovered that God won’t take our social needs away, but he can help us meet them in profound and lasting ways. This is a great resource for anyone with questions about faith and LGBTQIA topics.
Karl shares more in his book called More Than 2 Paths: Biblical Secrets to Living Your Most Fulfilling LGBTQIA Life.
Thank you, Karl, for being on the podcast. Your story will help so many. Thanks for your courage to share it.
I encourage others to listen to this episode and read your book.
Karl will be signing books Saturday, Nov. 19 (2-5 p.m.) at Marissa's Books & Gifts located 3302 S. 900 E., Salt Lake City, Utah
Links mentioned in the podcast:
More Than 2 Paths: https://www.amazon.com/More-Than-Paths-Biblical-Fulfilling-ebook/dp/B0B5B89PTS
Abundant Paths: https://www.amazon.com/Abundant-Paths-Thinking-Fulfilling-Relationships/dp/1951599187
** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below **
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143
Nov 12, 2022 • 1h 6min
Episode 584: Suzanne Gardner Stott, Lifetime of Service to Marginalized Groups
My friend Suzanne Stott (mother to ten adopted children, in her 70’s, active Latter-day Saints) shares her lifelong service to marginalized groups of people (homeless, incarcerated, refugees, queer, etc) as an active Latter-day Saint. Suzanne was the Grand Marshall of the Utah Pride Parade in 2022.
Suzanne talks about following her heart to reach out to those walking a more difficult road and work to improve their lives. He also talks about her testimony of our restored gospel and her prayers for changes in our Church. She talks about her has navigated multiple faith crisis over the years.
If you are looking for a season and mature voice navigating complicated issues in our Church around social issues (race, women, queer), please listen to Suzanne’s story. And if you feel drawn to make a difference in our community, please listen to Suzanne’s story—she will give you gospel principles to figure out how best to do this in your unique way.
It is an honor to have you on the podcast Suzanne. Thank you for the many ways you bless lives in our community.
** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: **
Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints
Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773
** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below **
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143
Nov 9, 2022 • 1h 26min
Episode 583: Clare Dalton, Gay Latter-day Saint, Seminary Teacher
My friend Clare Dalton joins us to bravely share her story. Clare grew up and lives in Arizona, served as a missionary in the Spain Barcelona Mission, earned a Linguistics degree from the University of Arizona, and now teaches high school seminary as a CES employee.
Clare talks about her decision to come out in this public Facebook post in October of 2021:
https://www.facebook.com/clare.dalton.71/posts/pfbid02QKAncqLVxmKc4fWAfiZkYc86pdzZMJoykaU2FZH94qkvNMBbKL1ej1SofXMgYoa6l
Clare talks about her testimony of the love of our Heavenly Parents and the role of the Savior in our lives. Clare talks about principles to better support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints and create belonging.
Some of the subjects Clare discusses are how silence sends a loud message, making choices out of faith vs. fear, creating Zion, caring more about truth than gossip, and creating safe spaces.
This is a powerful podcast. Clare is a pioneer in a space that hasn’t been walked.
If you are a queer Latter-day Saint or someone who wants to better support our queer members, please listen to this podcast. And if you want to better connect with our doctrine of loving Heavenly Parents and a Savior who walk with us, please listen to this podcast.
Thank you, Clare, for being on the podcast. You are very courageous. Our Church and world are a better place with you and all your talents to bless others.
Links mentioned in the podcast:
Clare's podcast on Questions from the Closet:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/am-i-needed/id1504990147?i=1000582275449
Church resources for ministering to LGBTQ Latter-day Saints:
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/counseling-resources/same-sex-attraction?lang=eng
** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: **
Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints
Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773
** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below **
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143
Nov 6, 2022 • 1h 8min
Episode 582: Nancy Smith, Mental Health Advisor and Church Service Missionary
My friend Sister Nancy Smith, who is in her 7th year serving in the California Anaheim Mission, shares her story. Nancy (married mother of 4 children, 13 grandchildren, and 4 great-grand children) talks about her own mental health journey during her early years of marriage and her path to healing.
Nancy talks about her work to help and support full-time missionaries in her mission with their emotional health. It is a wonderful insight into the vast network of seasoned Latter-day Saints working to support full-time Latter-day Saint missionaries.
If you are working to solve mental illness or help others, Nancy's podcast will help you. Thank you, Nancy for your much needed work.
Links referenced in the podcast:
https://nimh.nih.gov (National Institute of Mental Health)
National Institute of Mental Health Resource Center (866-615-6464)
(Monday through Friday 8:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. ET)
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services National Helpline (800-662-4357)
https://medlineplus.gov
Suicide and Crisis Hotline 988
The Power of Stillness: Mindful Living for Latter-day Saints (Deseret Book)
https://calm.com (Calm app for meditation and mindfulness)
** Please Check Out My New Book (Listen, Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture; link below which has a chapter on this subject) **
Deseret Book: https://deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-love
Amazon: amazon.com/dp/1462139566
Nov 3, 2022 • 1h
Episode 581: Char Ahlstrom, LDS Mother of 6, Two Gay Sons
My friend Char Ahlstrom (active LDS, Married Mother of 6, Grandmother of 6, Convert) shares her story of having three of her six children leave the church.
Char and her husband Tom raised their six children teaching the gospel and serving in their Long Beach Ward and Stake—with hope their children would stay active members of the church and raise their children in the Church.
But things turned out differently as Char shares having her 4th child (Kyle) come out as gay. Then her 6th child (Keith) also came out as gay. Both Kyle and Keith have stepped away from the Church and are in long-term relationships with men. Char also had another son and daughter-in-law out of the Church.
Char, who has been on this road for many years, has helpful insights for parents new to this road. She shares going from fear to peace—and from loving to accepting to action. Char talks about how prayer, scripture study, being open to learning, temple attendance and the atonement of Jesus Christ has given her personal revelation, tools, and peace.
If you are looking for a seasoned voice to help you as a parent with children now longer participating in the Church, Char’s story will help you. And if you are looking for gospel principles to find more peace in your life and bless others, Char’s insights will help you.
Thank you for your courage and vulnerability to be on the podcast. You are a remarkable woman. Your family story is a beautiful love story.
** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: **
Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints
Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773
** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below **
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143
Oct 30, 2022 • 55min
Episode 580: Richard Ostler Conversation with Those Wanting to Repent and Those Helping Them
This is a solo podcast for my friend wanting to repent and for parents/local leaders/friends looking to better help them. It is based on Chapter 5 called “Hope-Filled Repentance” from my book “Listen, Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture”.
I hope and pray this podcast is helpful to you.
All my love, Richard
Links mentioned in the podcast:
Richard Ostler Book: Deseret Book: https://deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-love
and Amazon: amazon.com/dp/1462139566
Richard Ostler Ensign Article: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin?lang=eng


