Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Richard Ostler

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Jan 31, 2023 • 1h 6min

Episode 609: Christian Kimball, LDS Author, “Living on the Inside of the Edge”

My friend Chris Kimball (married father of three, grandfather of eleven, and as he says, a 'retired' bishop, a 'retired' professor, and a 'retired' lawyer) joins us to share his unique Latter-day Saint journey. Chris shares some of his personal story which includes deciding more than 25 years ago to no longer sit for worthiness interviews and as a result to not hold a temple recommend, and nevertheless stay a participating member of the Church. Chris shares why he doesn’t hold a recommend and some of how he stays in the Church. The long journey has led to Chris writing a book called “Living on the Inside of the Edge: A Survival Guide”. The purpose of the book is to help other Latter-day Saints in a faith transition/faith crisis who have a goal to stay in the Church. The book would also be helpful for local leaders and parents who are looking for new tools/perspectives to help those in a faith crisis/transition who are working to find an authentic way to stay in the Church. That said, Chris informs listeners the book is not agenda based, not arguing for staying nor arguing for leaving, but supportive of people in their individual journeys. I was deeply moved listening to Chris and his long view of being on this road. I believe this podcast and his book will help you if you are in a faith transition or if you want to better understand and support those walking this road. Thank you, Chris, for your much needed work in our community. I hope your book is read far and wide! Links mentioned in the podcast: Chris’s book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/194821878X Waters of Mormon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/366835446735927
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Jan 28, 2023 • 60min

Episode 608: Zach and Darcy Spafford, Thriving as a Couple Beyond Pornography

My friend Zach and Darcy Spafford (who were on Episode 376) join us to talk about solving pornography use as a couple. Zach talks about opening up to his wife about his pornography use and how they worked together to address and solve it. It is a powerful story that helps others walking this road find hope and healing. Both Zach and Darcy share insights, principles, and strategies to address, and solve porn use and thrive as a couple. Zach and Darcy now help other couples who are struggling with unwanted porn as their full-time business—which is much needed in our community. I encourage everyone working to solve porn use or wanting to help others, to listen to this podcast. I learned so much from Zach and Darcy and their experience. Thank you, Zach and Darcy, for your courage to be in this space to help others. You are making a difference for good in our community. Links mentioned in the podcast: Podcast: Thrive Beyond Pornography https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/thrive-beyond-pornography-formerly-the-self-mastery/id1482319107 Website: www.zachspafford.com E-mail: zach@zachspafford.com, darcy@zachspafford.com My Ensign article on this subject: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use
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Jan 25, 2023 • 1h 16min

Episode 607: Will Edgel, Gay Latter-day Saint, Gay Man’s Wellness Coach

My friend Will Edgel (who was on Episode 78 recorded nearly four years ago) joins us to update listeners on his life journey and his professional work as a gay man’s wellness coach. Will talks about having a boyfriend and also being an active Latter-day Saint and how he is navigating this road. Will then talks about his professional work as a wellness coach to release shame and help individuals move forward in their lives in a healthy and balanced way. Will shares many excellent insights that I believe helps our listeners. Concepts like: “life is much better on the other side of shame”, “differences between decisions and choices”, and finding worth and peace through “self validation”. If you are a queer Latter-day Saint, I believe the principles and perspective Will shares will help you. And if you are looking for community and wellness resources, you might check out willedgel.com Thank you will for being on the podcast and your good work to bring hope and healing. Your voice and work is needed Links mentioned in the podcast: www.willedgel.com ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143
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Jan 22, 2023 • 57min

Episode 606: Susan Siddoway, Finding Hope & Peace in my Daughter’s Journey

My friend Susan Siddoway (active LDS, married, mother of 6 and grandmother to 13) shared story of her daughter Holly who left the church, identified as bisexual, struggled with addiction, was single and pregnant and died at age 33 in 2019. Susan shares gospel principles, doctrinal insights and church leader statements that strengthened her love and support for her daughter. She talks of the light and knowledge that came to her about Holly’s journey here on earth, how she was so much more than someone who left the church and had addictions. She saw Holly as a beloved child of Heavenly Parents, who was serving and helping others. Susan tells of the many people who lined up to speak to her after Holly’s funeral services, telling about the light she had been to them and how she blessed their lives. She speaks of the heartbreaking decision Holly made to place her baby for adoption. Her strong feeling that a gay couple should adopt. The wonderful relationship Susan and her family have with these two wonderful married women who adopted their granddaughter. It is a beautiful family love story. If you are looking for peace and hope because your children have left the church, Susan’s story will help you. She has been on this road for 15 years and has the long-view to bring you hope, peace, perspective and to not feel like you are a failure as an LDS parent. I was deeply touched listening to Susan share her story. I believe you will be too. Thank you Susan for being on the podcast. You are brave. Your story will help many. Links: Holly’s Obituary: https://www.wheelermortuaries.com/obituary/Holly-Siddoway Facebook Group of LDS Parent with Children No Longer Attending: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1139458306236720
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Jan 19, 2023 • 37min

Episode 605: Zachary Davis, Executive Director of Faith Matters and Editor of Wayfare

My friend Zach Davis (married father of three, graduate of BYU and Harvard Divinity School) joins us to talk about Wayfare—a new magazine launched by Faith Matters in late 2022. Zach talks about the purpose of and vision for the magazine and how it is a community effort and how individuals can get involved in producing content for Wayfare. Zach also talks about Faith Matters—its purpose and vision and plans for second Restore in October of 2023 (Zach shares the actual dates and location in the podcast). Zach also shares some of his personal story to find his career path and principles and perspectives to help others make their way forward. I was deeply moved hearing more of Zach’s story. Thank you, Zach, for being on the podcast. Your personal story and work at Faith Matters is blessing many. And thank you to everyone involved at Faith Matters for your much needed work in our community. Links mentioned: Wayfare Magazine: https://www.wayfaremagazine.org/ Faith Matters: https://faithmatters.org/
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Jan 13, 2023 • 1h 5min

Episode 604: Tammy Hill, New Book: Replenish: Creating Sexual Fulfillment in Marriage

My friend Tammy Hill (Adjunct Faculty BYU, LMFT, Noted Speaker and Author, married mother of 12 in a blended family with her husband Jeff) joins us to talk about her groundbreaking new book for Latter-day Saints called “Replenish: Creating Sexual Fulfillment in Marriage, A Guide for LDS Couples”. In the podcast Tammy talks about how the book “is the answer for anyone who has been frustrated by information that is either too vague, too academic, too spiritual, or too pornographic. Providing accurate information and practical application—all within a gospel framework—the book is the perfect guide for couples who desire a fulfilling sexual relationship that replenishes them with the joy, unity, and oneness that love Heavenly Parents intended.” In the podcast Tammy vulnerably shares some of her own story, why she decided to write the book, what she hopes it will accomplish, and who should read the book. I had several ‘light-bulb’ moments as I heard Tammy’s concepts to bring a more positive and proactive framework into sexual intimacy. I encourage everyone (both single and married) to listen to the podcast and check out Tammy’s book. It will help you and, if you are a parent, give you better skills to teach your children about sex. Thank you, Tammy, for being on the podcast and your good work! Podcast Links: Tammy Hills Web Site: https://www.tammyhill.com/ (you can purchase the book here) Amazon Link for Book Purchase: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1611661781 (Tammy encourages you to rate/review) Instagram: @tammy_hill_lmft
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Jan 10, 2023 • 1h 20min

Episode 603: Valerie Barton, Finding Worth While Single and Childless

My friend Valerie Barton (active Latter-day Saint, in her 40s, married for 6 years) bravely shares her story believing her worth and purpose were in being married and having children—and having neither happen for nearly two decades. Valerie talks about things being typical and normal though her youth—but then things becoming more difficult during her 20s as she tried to move forward not being married. She talks about decided to attend college, receive her endowment and serving a mission—but still struggling with her purpose and value as a single Latter-day Saint and why our can create this in women. Valerie bravely shares the pain of being on her road—in a Church focused on the nuclear family. Valerie shares how she shifted her worth to be on things in her control—to being a daughter of Heavenly Parents and empowerment to chart her own course. If you are a single Latter-day or working to better support single Latter-day Saints, Valerie story and insights will help you. I wish I had heard the things Valerie teaches before my YSA assignment Valerie also talks about personal revelation to not accept an engagement proposal in her 30’s—even though she wanted to be married sharing insights from Moses 3:17. Valerie then talks about finding her soulmate Dennis and being married at 39 and 37, respectively. Valerie then shifts and talks about the challenges of not being able to have children including 5 miscarriages and then a disrupted adoption. Valerie shares things that were helpful and not helpful during these difficult and painful experiences. Valerie and Dennis were able to adopt and have a 3-year-old daughter. If you are “always waiting” to feel complete (either later in this life or the next life), Valerie’s story will help you to feel complete now. This is was one of the most helpful stories I’ve heard for those that are single and without children to find peace, hope and value today. And if you are looking to find more peace in your life or have more tools to help others, Valerie’s story will help you. Thank you for being on the podcast Valerie. You are very brave. On behalf of all our listeners, thank you for being you! You are awesome and your story will help so many!
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Jan 6, 2023 • 1h 11min

Episode 602: Carol Lynn Pearson

My friend Carol Lynn Pearson joins us to talk about the subject of love in five of the books she has written. These books are: Good-bye, I Love You (1986) No More Goodbyes (2007) I’ll Walk with You (2020) Finding Mother God (2020) The Love Map (2022) To order personally autographed copies of these books or see a complete list of Carol Lynn’s work, please visit: https://carollynnpearson.com/ The first two groundbreaking books are about how to better love and support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. In the first book, Carol Lynn talks about loving and supporting her husband Gerald who died of AIDS in 1984. In the second book, Carol Lynn shares stories of LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. I read both books many years ago which were key for me to learn how to better support my LGBTQ friends. Carol Lynn also talks about the other three important books. I was deeply moved learning about these books, including the important role of Heavenly Mother in our lives. All of Carol Lynn life work is focused on the teachings of Jesus to bring us together in love and support as the same human family. I encourage everyone to listen this podcast and connect with her work. On behalf of all our listeners, thank you Carol Lynn for your life work. Honored to have you on the podcast. Links mentioned in the podcast: Carol Lynn Pearson Website: https://carollynnpearson.com/ Faith Matters Podcast Finding Mother God: https://faithmatters.org/finding-mother-god-carol-lynn-pearson/ Faith Matters Podcast The Love Map: https://faithmatters.org/the-love-map-a-conversation-with-carol-lynn-pearson/ Carol Lynn’s Talk ($50 for all talks) at Faith Matters Retore on Restoring of Mother Tongue: https://faithmatters.thinkific.com/courses/restore
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Jan 3, 2023 • 1h 3min

Episode 601: Conversation with My Trans Friends and Those Supporting Them

This is a solo podcast where I talk about why someone feels transgender, how to understand and best support them, and church resources. I also talk to those who experience gender dysphonia and principles for making thoughtful and informed decisions. My hope and prayer is this episode will bring more support to and understanding of our transgender friends—and better bring us together as the same human family. Links mentioned in the podcast: Church’s web site: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/topics/transgender Deseret New Article: https://www.deseret.com/faith/2022/4/27/23034223/latter-day-saint-leaders-lgbt-advocates-common-ground-washington-dc-temple-faith-religious-liberty Listen Learn and Love Transgender Podcast List: https://listenlearnandlove.org/transgender-and-more-podcasts Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: Deseret Book: deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints and Amazon: amazon.com/dp/1462135773 Facebook Group to support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143 Questions from the Closet Episode on Gender Dysphoria: https://questionsfromthecloset.com/episode/?s=3&e=17
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Dec 31, 2022 • 1h 24min

Episode 600: Josh Yordy, Age 20, Queer Latter-day Saint

My friend Josh Yordy joins us to bravely share his story. Josh talks about how mental health challenges ended his mission early and the positive support he received from his mission therapist, mission leaders, parents, and leaders back home in Flagstaff, Arizona. If you have returned home early or are supporting someone walking this road, Josh’s story will help you. Once home, Josh decided to address his sexual orientation, which he had avoided his whole life prior. Part of his journey was serving in the Los Angeles temple for six months in early 2022. Working with a therapist, being in the Temple, and a personal relationship with Heavenly Father helped Josh to accept being queer/bi-sexual in a positive, healthy, and authentic way. Josh talks about how he is navigating his road with both a testimony and being a queer Latter-day Saint. Josh is coming from a place of peace, confidence, faith, and hope—instead of shame and fear. I was deeply moved listening to the spiritual maturity of this 20-year-old man. If you are a queer Latter-day Saint looking for a steady voice of hope, please listen to this podcast. I believe it will help you. And if you are looking to better support queer Latter-day Saints, Josh’s insights and experiences will help. Thank you, Josh, for being you. Thank you for your courage to share you story which will help so many. You make this world a better place. Links mentioned in the podcast: Josh’s Instagram @jdyofficial ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

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