Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

Richard Ostler

Welcome to our podcast!

My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group.
I am the author of three books:

“Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/5248297.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773)

“Listen Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture” published in 2022. The book explores who we can do better to help all Latter-day Saints feel more welcome, needed and a feeling of belonging in our congregations. Available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/6003149.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462139566)

“Listen Learn and Love: Building the Good Ship Zion” released in Sept 2023. The book explores additional topics to help all Latter-day Saint feel welcome and needed on the Good Ship Zion. Available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/6026921.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462145280)

The purpose of all three books is to help us better create Zion by helping more feel welcome, a sense of belonging, and needed in our congregations.

Proceed from the books go the Stockton Power Memorial Scholarship (www.standingforstockton.com) in honor of Stockton Powers a gay Latter-day Saint teenager who died of suicide in 2016. Everything I do is a self-funded labor of love ❤️

I am the author of two Ensign articles:

‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin

‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use.

This podcast is designed to discuss some more complicated issues in our church to help all of us better “listen, learn and love” so we can minister in a more effective way to all of our Heavenly Parents’ children.

Podcasts are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts

Thank you for joining us. You can't donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening and/or leave a review at Deseret Book/Amazon on my books.

With love, Richard 'Papa' Ostler ❤

Twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler
IG: www.instagram.com/papa_ostler
Facebook: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5
E-mail: richard@ostlergroup.com

Episodes

Mentioned books

Dec 16, 2023 • 1h 5min

Episode 724: Jessy Markowitz, LDS Convert, Sexual Assault Survivor, Finding Healing

** Trigger Warning: This podcast discusses suicide. If you are suicidal, please call/text/chat 988 ** My brave friend Jessy Markowitz joins us from Las Vegas to share her story. Jessy starts with the realities of her life resulting in immense pain and, at times, loss of hope. Jessy talks about her father’s death at age 4, being sexually assaulted, and then her brother Dennis’ death from suicide in Feb 2017. Jessy was very close to Dennis and talks about the pain of his death. Jessy, now a married mother, talks about feeling so much darkness and lack of hope in her life following Dennis’ death. Jessy talks about the deeply spiritual experiences that led her to Jesus and to membership in the Church (and later her husband). Jessy talks about the dramatic contrast between her life without Jesus and her life now with Jesus, the Church, and the healing power of His atonement. It is a remarkable story that gives hope to everyone. Jessy talks about her love of the temple (including her husband Mitch doing the proxy work for her brother and father). Jessy concludes with her testimony of the Church, Jesus, BYU-Pathways, and her plans to write a book. I was so moved listening to Jessy’s powerful story and testimony. Thank you, Jessy, to being on the podcast and your work to help everyone feel the love, peace, and hope of Jesus. You are a remarkable woman and help make this world a better place. Links: Instagram: @mychallengehisstrength E-mail: markowitzjess@gmail.com Richard Ostler books/bio/etc.: www.papaostler.com

Dec 13, 2023 • 1h 10min

Episode 723: Dallin Patton, Gay Latter-Day Saint, Mid-20s, Utah State University

My friend Dallin Patton (from Tucson, Kansas Wichita Mission RM, Senior in Social Work at Utah State University) joins us to bravely share his story. Dallin discusses the years before his mission (navigating his identity, some conversion therapy, and mostly putting it in a “box at the back of his head”). These were difficult years for Dallin. Dallin talks about his decision to serve a mission (spent most of his time in Wichita, Kansas) and often being filled with anxiety that someone would discover his sexual orientation. Dallin talks about how his mission was both incredibly hard and amazing—and how the anxiety and depression led to him coming home after about 17 months of service. Dallin then talks about attending Utah State and dating women as that was his “only hope for a normal life” and “being gay was like a death sentence”. After not being able to make it work with a woman, Dallin talks about how he moved out of the dark space to more light and hope including personal revelation stating “Dallin you are gay and that is OK”. Dallin talks about starting a chapter of the “Queer Christian Initiative” at Utah State and the need for safe spaces for those that are queer and Christians. Dallin concludes talking about how his emotional health and hope for the future “has never been better”. If you are queer and trying to find hope, Dallin’s story will help you. If you are a parent, friend and/or ally to queer Latter-day Saints, Dallin’s story will help you. Thank you, Dallin, for being on the podcast. You are a great man with a wonderful future. This world is a better place with Dallin Patton in it! Links: Dallin Patton’s IG: @dallin.patton Richard Ostler books/bio/etc.: www.papaostler.com Facebook Group to support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

Dec 10, 2023 • 1h 8min

Episode 722: Margaret Olsen Hemming & Fatimah Salleh: Book of Mormon for the Least of These, Vol. 3

My friends Margaret Olsen Hemming and Rev. Dr. Fatimah Salleh (who was on Episode 710) join us to talk about their latest (and final) volume of “The Book of Mormon for the Least of These, Volume 3: Helaman-Moroni.” Margaret and Fatimah share some of the behind-the-scenes story of working together to write these books, their personal journeys with the Book of Mormon, and what they hope to accomplish with their books. Their work helps us read the book from a social justice perspective that speaks to issues of racism, sexism, immigrations, refugees, and socioeconomic inequality—and then consider what we can do in our circle of influence to be better disciples of Christ. I was so moved listening to these inspiring scholars, authors, theologians, and disciples. I will be using their books as I study the Book of Mormon in 2024 and look for things I need to change in my world view to better love, see, and support those walking a harder road. Thank you, Margaret and Fatimah, for your wonderful work. Honored to have you on the podcast! Links: Book of Mormon for the Least of These (published by my friends at BCC Press): Volume 1: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1948218232 Volume 2: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1948218585 Volume 3: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1948218992

Dec 8, 2023 • 1h 2min

Episode 718: Katherine and Jeff Wise, LDS Parents of a Gay Son, Founders of The Hearth

My friends Katherine and Jeff Wise (parents of six sons and one daughter, living in the Bay Area ) invite us into the sacred space of their tender story of their youngest son Talmage coming out as gay at age 17 in 2013. Katherine and Jeff (who was serving as a Bishop at the time) talk about their fears, reactions, things they wish they did better, how to find resources, and the personal revelation they received to love and support Talmage. It is a beautiful family love story. They update us on Talmage’s life (he has a wonderful boyfriend and is living his best self in New York) and their continued love for Talmage and his partner Matt. They talk about how they don’t have fears of “empty chairs” in the next life. Katherine and Jeff talk about doing a one-time fireside in their home in March, 2015, focused on supporting LGBTQ members and how that led to The Hearth—a monthly gathering in the Wise home that continues today. They talk about the importance of creating a community of support and love where we can share in each other’s journeys. Katherine and Jeff talk about why they stay active members of the Church—even with the pain of the “dark corner” of this space within our Church. It’s a moving part of their story seeing the aggregate good of the Church while living with the reality of the pain of many LGBTQ members and their families. This is one of the best podcasts we’ve done with parents of an LGBTQ child. Katherine and Jeff have been on this road for 10 years and have mature insights, principles, and perspective to share with others. They also have the long-view of improvements being made over the past ten years—while acknowledging we still have much work to do. This is also an excellent podcast for anyone considering putting together a support group in their area of influence. Thank you, Katherine and Jeff, for opening your hearts and sharing your beautiful family story! Links: The Hearth: www.ldshearth.org/ Elder Daines Conference Talk: www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2023/10/13daines Richard Ostler books/bio/etc: www.papaostler.com Facebook Group to support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

Nov 15, 2023 • 1h 6min

Episode 717: Sean Stansberry, Convert, Age 21, SSA, Preparing for Mission

My friend Sean Stansberry (living in New Bern, North Carolina; college student, joined the Church in April 2021) joins us to share his story. Sean starts with joining the church during coronavirus and getting baptized 2.5 weeks later. Sean talks about receiving the priesthood, blessing the sacrament, and attending the temple and being part of young men’s and the youth group for a few months before switching to elders quorum/adult sunday school. Sean talks about the blessing in his life from Church membership. Sean continues with His love of the temple and receiving his endowment and the peace and no-judgment that is part of his temple experience. Sean talks about coming out publicly on social media and in church being SSA and how that was with both positive and difficult experiences at Church in his home ward and his local YSA branch and some experiences that he has had with his church leaders both present and past church leaders. Sean talks about how he navigates the difficult experiences and why he stays a member of the church. Sean concludes with his plans to serve a mission and attending the temple and how the spirit is his constant companion. Thank you, Sean, for being on the podcast. I was so moved hearing your story of courage and faith. You are brave. You are a good man and make this world a better place. Thank you for being on the podcast! Links: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sean.stansberryy Instagram: https://instagram.com/fypsean Twitter: twitter.com/fypsean Richard Ostler books/bio/etc: www.papaostler.com Facebook Group to support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

Nov 13, 2023 • 1h 12min

Episode 716: Seth Larson, Age 25, Gay Latter-day Saint

My friend Seth Larson (BYU grad, Bolivia RM, active Latter-day Saint) joins us to bravely share his story. Seth talks about trying to date women in hopes of making the typical path work in the Church and his desire to have a family and fully participate in the Church. Seth talks about feeling suicidal and “sub-par” because of being gay and not being able to make that path work—and shares honest journal entrees with his feelings. Seth talks about being open with his parents and therapist leading to his decision to date men. Seth talks about going slow, being intentional, and involving family/friends/his Bishop in the journey. Seth talks about feeling (for the first time) warm, safe, and secure. Seth talks about how his hope increased and anxiety decreased as he opened his heart/mind to this path. Seth talks about how church and the temple became triggering for him and what his Bishop did to validate these feelings and minister to him. Seth talks about why he is currently in the Church—but not sure of his long-term future. Seth talks about the character of God and Jesus—and how Christ is not “waiting for us to turn around” before helping us. Thank you, Seth, for your courage to share your story in hopes of helping others. I learned so much from you. I encourage allies to listen to this podcast and then consider what we can do in our circle of influence to better support queer Latter-day Saints. And I encourage queer Latter-day Saints to listen to Seth’s story to gain insights and principles to write your story with Christ. You are a good man, Seth. You have blessed many lives with your many gifts—something I believe will continue your entire life. This world is a better place with you (and all my queer friends) part of it. Links: Richard Ostler books/bio/etc: www.papaostler.com Facebook Group to support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

Nov 10, 2023 • 55min

Episode 715: Meka Reed, Black LDS Convert, Suicide Survivor, New Book

My friend Meka Reed (baptized with her husband in October 2020, Lives in Ohio) joins us to talk about her conversation story and her new book called “My Dot Matters: Rediscovering Faith by Realizing Self-Worth”. Meka starts with her life being defined by suicidal ideation and being in the psych ward—and how they all changed when she read the Book of Mormon for the first time. That led to her attending church and getting baptized (and married) on the same day on October 10, 2020. Meka talks about how she still has mental health challenges—but suicide ideation has ended as the Gospel of Jesus Christ has provided healing, hope and purpose. Meka then talks about the spiritual impressions to write and book and the process to get it published. This is a powerful book about finding worth and meaning—and how that happened for Meka in her conversation to the Church. Thank you Meka for being on the podcast. I was so moved hearing your story. You are brave and strong—and helping many others find hope and purpose! Links: Meka’s New Book: https://mydotmatters.com/

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