

Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler
Richard Ostler
Welcome to our podcast!
My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group.
I am the author of three books:
“Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/5248297.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773)
“Listen Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture” published in 2022. The book explores who we can do better to help all Latter-day Saints feel more welcome, needed and a feeling of belonging in our congregations. Available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/6003149.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462139566)
“Listen Learn and Love: Building the Good Ship Zion” released in Sept 2023. The book explores additional topics to help all Latter-day Saint feel welcome and needed on the Good Ship Zion. Available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/6026921.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462145280)
The purpose of all three books is to help us better create Zion by helping more feel welcome, a sense of belonging, and needed in our congregations.
Proceed from the books go the Stockton Power Memorial Scholarship (www.standingforstockton.com) in honor of Stockton Powers a gay Latter-day Saint teenager who died of suicide in 2016. Everything I do is a self-funded labor of love ❤️
I am the author of two Ensign articles:
‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin
‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use.
This podcast is designed to discuss some more complicated issues in our church to help all of us better “listen, learn and love” so we can minister in a more effective way to all of our Heavenly Parents’ children.
Podcasts are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts
Thank you for joining us. You can't donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening and/or leave a review at Deseret Book/Amazon on my books.
With love, Richard 'Papa' Ostler ❤
Twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler
IG: www.instagram.com/papa_ostler
Facebook: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5
E-mail: richard@ostlergroup.com
My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group.
I am the author of three books:
“Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/5248297.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773)
“Listen Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture” published in 2022. The book explores who we can do better to help all Latter-day Saints feel more welcome, needed and a feeling of belonging in our congregations. Available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/6003149.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462139566)
“Listen Learn and Love: Building the Good Ship Zion” released in Sept 2023. The book explores additional topics to help all Latter-day Saint feel welcome and needed on the Good Ship Zion. Available at Deseret Book (deseretbook.com/product/6026921.html) and Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462145280)
The purpose of all three books is to help us better create Zion by helping more feel welcome, a sense of belonging, and needed in our congregations.
Proceed from the books go the Stockton Power Memorial Scholarship (www.standingforstockton.com) in honor of Stockton Powers a gay Latter-day Saint teenager who died of suicide in 2016. Everything I do is a self-funded labor of love ❤️
I am the author of two Ensign articles:
‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin
‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use.
This podcast is designed to discuss some more complicated issues in our church to help all of us better “listen, learn and love” so we can minister in a more effective way to all of our Heavenly Parents’ children.
Podcasts are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts
Thank you for joining us. You can't donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening and/or leave a review at Deseret Book/Amazon on my books.
With love, Richard 'Papa' Ostler ❤
Twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler
IG: www.instagram.com/papa_ostler
Facebook: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5
E-mail: richard@ostlergroup.com
Episodes
Mentioned books

Aug 31, 2025 • 1h 31min
Episode 842: Rob Metcalf: New Album “The Road Trip”
My friend Rob Metalf (married father of two, age 33) joins us to share his journey with his mental health (OCD/anxiety) and his physical health (Ankylosing spondylitis—or AS). Rob (guitar player and songwriter) has formed a band (TOWN!) and is releasing an album (The Road Trip) that captures many of his life experiences. The first song (Forever—see show notes) is a song about his anxiety. In the podcast, Rob talks about other songs that on the album talking about important and sensitive subjects (suicide, relationship with the Church, Alzheimer's).
In the podcast, Rob shares his journey with AS (undiagnosed for a long time) and how it took him from an avid outdoorsman to—on his worse days—bedridden. Rob talks about his journey to find a diagnosis and the right medication to get him in a better spot—and all the people that helped him along the way. Rob is honest about feeling angry/abandon by God and how we can better support people with long-term health challenges.
Rob is one of my heroes. He is a survivor and now using his gifts to help others through sharing his story and his music. I encourage you to listen to and share this podcast and his music. Thank you, Rob, for being on the podcast. You are a good man.
Links:
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/5B6F6RaBY79SLmTIZvOzLs?si=495f1a71eacd480e&nd=1&dlsi=cc0b82d21bb24d6e
Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/forever/1826704391?i=1826704454
Our Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abandcalledtown/

Aug 27, 2025 • 24min
Episode 841: Richard Ostler: YSA Ward Talk
Talk given in our YSA Ward on the character of our Heavenly Parents and Jesus—and how that brings us peace, healing, and hope.
Focused on seven concepts:
1) Our Heavenly Parents love all Their children
2) We have to believe/know we are acceptable to God. That we are created as intended. That no one is a mistake
3) Zion isn’t sameness
4) Jesus loves to forgive
5) Whole and complete now
6) Don’t feel you are behind
7) Throw out the dating checklist
Links:
Seven Tips for Overcoming Porn Use: www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use
How the Savior’s Healing Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin: www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin

Aug 23, 2025 • 52min
Episode 840: Aaron and Julie Bujnowski: New Book “Navigating to Jesus: A Journey of Faith”
My friends Aaron and Julie Bujnowski (married parents of two; living North of Dallas, Texas, active Latter-day Saints) join us to talk about their new book “Navigating to Jesus: A Journey of Faith.” In this important 10-chapter book, Aaron and Julie share many of their own difficult/wounding experiences (both in and out of the Church), and their path forward to healing and staying in the Church is Jesus.
Thank you, Aaron and Julie, for opening up your hearts in writing this needed book and being on the podcast. I am grateful for your courage to talk about some of your difficult life experiences, and “navigating to Jesus” is the answer. I encourage everyone to check out your book!
Links:
Amazon: https://a.co/d/cUw0Y09
Cedar Fort: https://www.cedarfort.com/products/navigating-to-jesus-a-journey-of-faith?sca_ref=2861413.ytmX5gv94t
Instagram: @navigatingtojesus
Earlier episode on Listen, Learn, and Love (episode 647): soundcloud.com/user-818501778/episode-647-aaron-and-julie-bujnowski-new-book-discovering-your-temple-insights

Aug 14, 2025 • 44min
Episode 839: Jessica Frew, Podcaster, Author, New Book “Shove Your Shoulds”
My friend Jessica Frew (life coach, former husband is gay and still “part of the family”, married mother of three) joins us to share her story of her husband coming out as gay and that marriage ending—and still staying close as they co-parent their daughter.
Jessica also talks about her important new book called “Shove Your Shoulds” which focuses on healthier boundaries, improved self-image, and deeper acceptance of ourselves and others. Jessica writes the book from her own experiences and from her work as a life coach.
I am grateful for Jessica’s voice on acceptance and understanding in our community—and encourage everyone to check out her new book (currently in presale—release date of Sept 12, 2025).
Thank you, Jessica, for being on the podcast. You are awesome.
Links:
Book website: https://shoveyourshoulds.com/
Jessica on Instagram: @heyjessicafrew
Jessica’s podcast (Husband In Law): podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/husband-in-law/id1464470280
Jessica’s earlier episode on Listen, Learn, and Love (episode 217): https://soundcloud.com/user-818501778/episode-217-jessica-and-matt-frew-active-lds-and-steve-stoddard-jessicas-gay-former-husband

Jul 21, 2025 • 60min
Episode 838: Alex Hayes, Gay BYU Student, Sexual Assault Survivor, Jesus, Super Brave
*** This episode talks about suicide. If you are suicidal, please call/text/chat *988 ***
My friend Alex Hayes (from Utah County, Age 18, planning to serve a mission) bravely joins us to share his story which includes:
* Turning to porn at age 13 use as a coping mechanism
* Don’t label porn as an addiction
* Sexual orientation/feelings (gay or straight) are not from Satan
* Importance of being a safe place when people are vulnerable
* How shame and lack of self-love contributed to worse coping mechanisms resulting in being raped
* PTSD of that whole experience (psych ward, etc)
* How Emily Belle Freeman “Introduced this new Savior”
* Alex’s powerful testimony of Heavenly Father and Jesus—and their role in our lives
* How the “Miracle of the Gospel is Hope”
* Buring desire to help others know Jesus and His Gospel of love and hope.
Alex is one of the bravest that has ever been on our podcast because of his courage to be vulnerable and honest. Alex—because of his experiences—knows Jesus and His ability to heal and give hope.
If you are looking for hope that Jesus can bring in your lives (or help others find hope), please listen and share this episode. Alex is one of my new heroes. Our church and world are a better place with Alex Hays in it.
Thank you, Alex, for your courage to be on the podcast. You are a good man with a gift to help others.
Links:
Instagram: @alexhayes205

Jul 4, 2025 • 1h 7min
Episode 837: Darren Parry, New Book, “Tending the Sacred: How Indigenous Wisdom will Save the World”
My friend Darren Parry (Shoshone Leader, Adjust Professor at Utah State and University of Utah, Author) joins us to talk about his new book called “Tending the Sacred: How Indigenous Wisdom will Save the World” which talks about values from the lens of our Indigenous friends to help understand and solve today’s problems.
Darren talks about his own history (including his ancestors) using real life examples on how “Indigenous Wisdom” helps see and solve problems bringing us together as the same human family.
I am deeply moved by Darren’s insights/soft heart and work to build bridges. I’m honored to have served as Darren’s companion during our missions in England 45 years ago as I had the chance to see Darren’s love for the people of England (and love for me—his new junior companion).
I encourage everyone to reach Darren’s book—for timeless values to help bring us together. Thank you to our friends at BCC Press for publishing Darren’s book.
Thank you, Darren, for being on the podcast and your needed work in our world!
Links:
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1961471248
Darren’s FB: https://www.facebook.com/darren.parry.7

Jun 16, 2025 • 1h 9min
Episode 836: McArthur Krishna and Anne Pimentel, New Book, “Changemakers: Women Who Bolding Built Zion”
My friends McArthur Krishna and Anne Pimentel (authors, BYU grads, advocates for those on the margins) join us to talk about their important new book (at Deseret Book and Amazon) called “Changemakers: Women Who Bolding Built Zion”
The podcast/book covers important topics:
How revelation is “scattered”
How women led changing the Church Institution with Primary and Relief Society
How most of the change we can impact is in our local area around culture
Anne’s racial awakening—and her desire to help people of other races feel belonging
The “Back Yard Principle”
Supporting those who leave the church
Why McArthur and Anne (knowing all the complicated issues) stay in the Church
Why McArthur hopes the Church her daughters are raised in is different than the Church she was raised in—and how we should embrace change
Importance of personal authority
If you are looking to improve church culture to better create Zion so more feel welcome, I encourage you to read/share this book. It has real-life stories and perspectives/principles to help each of us. I wish I had read a book like this a long time ago.
I encourage everyone to listen to the podcast, read the book—and share with others.
Thank you, McArthur and Anne, for your needed work in our community. Honored to have you on the podcast!
Links:
Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1560855185
Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/product/6085124.html
McArthur IG: @mcarthurkrishna_creates
McArthur FB: www.facebook.com/mcarthur.mcarthurfreeranger
Heavenly Mother Matters IG: @heavenlymothermatters
Anne IG: @the.vision.beautiful
James Jones Online Course: btbacademy.thinkific.com/courses/lds-anti-racism-101-abandoning-attitudes-and-actions-of-prejudice
Chapter on How We Should Treat People Who Leave the Church: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/zkupzyte3lqqtxla6q9y1/Chapter-4-How-Should-We-Treat-Those-Who-Leave-the-Church.pdf?rlkey=w00hdkyywo5m9dyg1uwscqbxm&dl=0

Jun 11, 2025 • 1h 21min
Episode 835: Shirley Washenko and Sage Williams, New Book: “Healing after Sexual Abuse”
My friends Shirley Washenko (sexual abuse survivor/advocate) and Sage Williams (MSc, RN, long-time advocate) joins us to talk about their new, groundbreaking and needed book (published by Deseret Book) called “Healing after Sexual Abuse, A Latter-day Saint Perspective”.
The book has these powerful chapters:
1) Establishing Identity
2) Uncovering Wounds
3) Embracing Agency
4) Differentiating Healing Journeys
5) Responding to Anger with Integrity
6) The Core: Connection
7) It Takes “an Angel” to Speak the Truth
8) Grief: Linking, Past Present, and Future
9) Forgiveness in a New Light
10) The Healing Journey
This is one of the finest podcasts we’ve done on healing after sexual abuse. Shirley and Sage (from their respective experiences) bring new, impactful, and practical insights to help heal from sexual abuse. The book will help sexual abuse survivors and also the rest of us as we learn better tools to help them.
I encourage everyone to listen to the podcast, read the book—and share with others.
Thank you, Shirley and Sage, for your life-saving work to bring hope and healing. You are two of my heroes. Honored to have you on the podcast!
Links:
Web Site: www.healingaftersexualabuse.com/
Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/product/P6078641.html
Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1639934219

Jun 3, 2025 • 1h 11min
Episode 834: Ashli Carnicelli, Trina Caudle, McArthur Krishna: New Book about Heavenly Mother
My friends Ashli Carnicelli, Trina Caudle, and McArthur Krishna join us to talk about their new book “Mother in Heaven: A Gospel Topics Essay Study Guide.” The book is exactly what the title says: a study guide for the Church's Gospel Topics essay on Heavenly Mother.
The book authors talk about the spiritual benefits in our lives of learning about the doctrine of Heavenly Mother and why She matters.
This book is aligned with official Church statements and teachings about the doctrine of Heavenly Mother. The authors hope that it helps people seeking our Mother in Heaven to spiritually connect with Her so She is real, intentional, and active in our lives and in Church conversations.
Thank you, Ashli, Trina and McArthur, for your needed work. I was deeply moved by your insights and good hearts.
I encourage everyone to read this book.
Links:
Mother in Heaven Study Guide: www.amazon.com/dp/1734228725
Cherish 1: The Joy of Our Mother in Heaven: www.amazon.com/dp/1948218879
Cherish 2: The Love of Our Mother in Heaven: www.amazon.com/dp/1734228733
A Girl's Guide to Heavenly Mother: www.deseretbook.com/product/5258047.html
A Boy's Guide to Heavenly Mother: www.deseretbook.com/product/5258052.html
Combined IG account: @heavenlymothermatters
Personal IG accounts: @ashlicarnicelli @libraryhouseediting @mcarthurkrishna_creates
Library House Editing page with links to the gospel topics essay footnotes and some other resources: https://libraryhouseediting.com/?page_id=741

May 29, 2025 • 1h 14min
Episode 833: Isaac Durfey, Black/Gay Latter-day Saint, Super Brave
*** This episode talks about suicide. If you are suicidal, please call/text/chat *988 ***
My friend Isaac Durfey (lives in Utah County, Age 34, Adopted, Active Latter-day Saint) bravely joins us to share his story which includes:
* Being bullied
* Being suicidal
* Working through pornography
* Convicted of being a sex offender and spending 4.5 years in prison
* Leaving prison—what he learned, why he isn’t going back, finding hope
* Accepting he is gay—but doesn’t define him
* Talented musician
* Great/supportive parents
* Role of friends to help him feel he is loved and needed
* Great YSA Wards
* Hopes for his future including the Melchizedek Priesthood and Temple Endowment
Thank you, Isaac, for your courage to come on the podcast and share your story—stories like yours help others find hope. Thanks for helping all understand our Heavenly Parents love all of us and how the Gospel of Jesus Christ gives hope, heals and helps us move forward. You are a good man.
Links:
Isaac on Instagram: @durfsmurf25