Outlier's Edge Podcast with Niiamah Ashong

5 hidden traps that have kept me from playing at my next level Outsights from session 2 of the Next Level Masterclass. ---an invitation --- I have decided to open up the doors to the Masterclass beyond my list to create an opportunity for people who are serious and craving to play a bigger game. Https://niiamahashong.com/nlm I can offer this easily because each session is a live experience where we work on your fears, desires, challenges, and possibilities to get you playing into your next level now. This is not for everyone by design. Come if you are ready to play at your next level or you are tired of settling for your current level. Don’t come if you aren’t interested in doing the work - I’ll find another way to serve you later.

Lonliness. It’s the hidden cost to being a leader, being unique, playing at my next level, and honestly just plain old being myself. It’s the payment to enter higher realms of impact, growth, and contribution that I have been hesitant to pay. It’s a fact of choosing to belong to yourself first. If you play it all out, the best way to stand out is to be yourself because there’s only one of you out there. There’s only 1 in 7+ BILLION PEOPLE who is you. Of course it’s going to be lonely! I honestly didn’t get that until 5 mins before sharing this here. The path to being yourself, to experience true and wholesome freedom and security, to make your highest impact, and to influence and lead change in your world is inherently lonely. And the story I tell myself is that "being lonely means being unloved." The cold hard truth of it is that at the level of allowing myself to be me in the world, I’m actually finding that: a) I love myself more (and I think I’m legit awesome) b) I love and have the capacity to love others more and c) I am loved by others more. I’m going to unpack c) more because that’s the external result I internally craved and the external ceiling I keep bumping into. I am loved by others "more". 1) "More" through the lens of "Scale": There absolute value of people who love me continues to grow daily. And it directly ties/ feeds back into my capacity for love. The greater my capacity for love, the more love comes my way. 2) "More" through the lens of "Depth": This is one of the thing I’ve been fighting for in my life recently. Where Scaled Love speaks to being "well-known", Deep Love speaks to being "know - well". The people who choose to love me, choose to do so for the true and unapologetic me as I currently am and as I am becoming. There’s no more "code-switching". I’m not burdened by having to diminish myself in order to make others feel safe. I am not drained by having to be multiple things to multiple people - and then keeping each part of my life compartmentalized for sake of being exposed (this one came fastest for me to be). I don’t have to be a "chameleon" and change who I am to match your world. Instead, I welcome you to my world. I welcome you as you are and as you are becoming. I welcome you to be courageous and thrive beyond safety. I welcome you to be in integrity with yourself. Whole, complete, and unapologetic. Everyday I create a world where we can be unique together. Where we can be authentic together. Where we can be lonely together. Where we can simply BE together. My name is Nemo Ashong. Most people see me as personable, friendly, joyous, and so much more. And what they don’t see is that on the inside I’m lonely. What I now know is that feeling alone, being alone, and feeling lonely isn’t a good or a bad thing. It comes down to the stories I tell myself. And I’m choosing to listen to stories that bring us all together - as seperate, unique, and legit awesome people who can be as one, not in spite of but because of what makes us different. Here’s to being more you everyday because you are the difference. Game on! (Special thanks to Hayden Lee, Luisa Molano, and Chris Joseph for helping me embrace something that I thought was holding me back rather than helping me forward)

“You don’t have to fight for the best when you are willing to be the only.” Reclaiming my power with Being Lonely. Lesson from Sapa, Vietnam

Meta time: a live about going live There’s a reason why I choose to go live and to create videos. It’s not because of Facebook reach. Most people aren’t even awake when I go live. It’s because it’s one of the most effortless ways for me to get my thought leadership out in the world. No one gave me permission and even if the “reach” went down, I would still choose to leverage this medium because it’s a natural vehicle for me. And I get 100X relative value from it: 10X the results of most people for 10% of the energy. (Now it’s math time: 10/0.1=100) Some of my clients leverage in-person dinners, others podcasts, others speaking, some blogging, others recorded live workshops, and some choose word of mouth /referrals. Discover it. Embrace it. Leverage it. And Appreciate it’s value by getting better at it. What’s your 100X thought leadership vehicle?

What’s the container of transformation that best supports the change you lead yourself and your people through? — I’m going to watch Trevor Noah live in Singapore in 3 hours. I’ve been following him regularly for months now, watching the MULTIPLE videos he posts in the same day as my day progresses. On one level, he’s shown a real example of there’s no such thing as too much content - he’s part of the reason I feel comfortable doing to back to back live videos. On another level, this is the first time I’ve given money directly to Trevor’s world. And when I take out my wallet, I like to explore why. Today it’s gotten me to think about my distinctions between audience, tribe, and community and the capacity of transformation within each.

You are already a leader (even if you haven’t yet realized it). You are already changing the world everyday ( even when you aren’t trying). You are already ready (even if the task seems impossible or scary). You are already enough ( even if it feels like you can’t be what others want - you are exactly what we need) -- Step up and own who you already are. You are a gift to your world - don’t hold it back.

This episode was really edgy for me to make live... and remains edgy for me to post it on the podcast. Which is why I'm doing it. #speakingmytruth

Get out of your own way! Not Knowing could be the exact path to your greatest impact - listen to explore how.

Are you thinking like a human (quantum thinking) or are you processing like a machine (binary thinking)? As machines and technology become more wide-spread and accessible, we often feel we need to spend more time operating like a machine with clear black or white options. I call SHENANIGANS to that! We have the wonderful opportunity to be human and with it comes a unique way of thinking that we alone have access to. Let's make the most of it!

"We often compare how WE FEEL on the INSIDE to how THEY LOOK on the OUTSIDE." ~Rich Litvin This episode dives into our opportunity as Trailblazers to create safety by choosing to be vulnerable to share the invisible feelings within us so that others can see themselves as well.