Therapy and Theology

We can love people … but we can’t change them. So what can we do? Draw necessary, healthy boundaries. It may feel overwhelming or even unloving at times, but what if boundaries are the unlikely thing needed to help your most difficult relationships?In this episode, Lysa TerKeurst, Dr. Joel Muddamalle and licensed counselor Jim Cress help you …Overcome the frustrating cycle of ineffective boundary-setting with realistic scripts and practical strategies to help you communicate, keep and implement healthier patterns.Discern what types of boundaries you may need in your relationships so you can live in the peace you really long for.Be encouraged as you find boundaries aren't just a good idea — they're a God idea.Helpful Links:Want more wisdom as you navigate hard relationship dynamics? Find practical next steps, powerful scriptures and timely guidance on how to set realistic, healthy boundaries in Lysa TerKeurst's new book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes. In the pages of this book, Lysa's personal counselor, Jim Cress, also provides therapeutic insight surrounding the topic of boundaries, helping you confidently apply what you read. Order the Proverbs 31-exclusive version here.Ready to take a personal next step in finding a Christian counselor? The American Association of Christian Counselors is a great place to find the right fit for you and your circumstances.Has the Therapy & Theology podcast helped you personally gain a fresh, biblical perspective for what you’re facing? Tell us about it by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. When you review and rate the podcast, it helps us reach even more people with biblical Truth and therapeutic wisdom.Click here to view the transcript for this episode.

Lysa TerKeurst, Jim Cress, and Dr. Joel Muddamalle discuss confronting narcissists with compassion and boundaries. They highlight the importance of God's nature, warning against one-sided relationships and offering strategies for setting boundaries and seeking help in challenging relationships.

“Narcissism.” It’s a word that gets thrown around a lot, but what does it really mean? And how does it affect your life? So … what do we do if we’re in a relationship with a narcissist? And how is narcissism different than a personal struggle with selfishness? And what does selfishness teach us about our own need for God, even if we don’t struggle with narcissism?  In this episode of Therapy & Theology, we'll unpack narcissism through a conversation between Lysa TerKeurst; her personal, licensed counselor, Jim Cress; and Proverbs 31 Ministries Director of Theological Research Dr. Joel Muddamalle.  After listening, you will …Understand the medically defined character traits of a narcissist as well as the difference between narcissism and selfishness.Discover that the desire of a narcissist — to receive admiration and praise and to control others — is a human need that we all struggle with on some level and that only Jesus can truly fulfill. Learn that compassion and healthy boundaries are necessary if you are in a marriage, family or working relationship with a narcissist.A note from Proverbs 31 Ministries: The content in this podcast covers the topic of narcissism. Narcissism is a personality disorder that requires a medical diagnosis. Proverbs 31 Ministries does not condone labeling another person with a personality disorder. Please see the links below if you need help finding a counselor.Helpful Links:Want more wisdom as you navigate hard relationship dynamics? Find practical next steps, powerful scriptures and timely guidance on how to set realistic, healthy boundaries in Lysa TerKeurst's new book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes. In the pages of this book, Lysa's personal counselor, Jim Cress, also provides therapeutic insight surrounding the topic of boundaries, helping you confidently apply what you read. Order the Proverbs 31-exclusive version here.Ready to take a personal next step in finding a Christian counselor? The American Association of Christian Counselors is a great place to find the right fit for you and your circumstances.Has the Therapy & Theology podcast helped you personally gain a fresh, biblical perspective for what you’re facing? Tell us about it by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. When you review and rate the podcast, it helps us reach even more people with biblical Truth and therapeutic wisdom.Click here to view the transcript for this episode.

If you want to become a doctor, you go to medical school. If you want to become a lawyer, you go to law school. But the truth is, no one sends us to school to become emotionally mature. However, if we want our relationships to be healthy and fruitful, emotional maturity is actually a key component we must be committed to work on continually in our lives.  Simply put, emotional maturity is emotional sobriety. It is living in such a way that our emotions are not swept up in traumas, triggers, coping mechanisms, addictions and more. In this episode of Therapy & Theology, Lysa TerKeurst; her personal, licensed professional counselor, Jim Cress; and Proverbs 31 Ministries Director of Theological Research Dr. Joel Muddamalle talk about the signs, symptoms and cures for emotional immaturity and how we can “Be alert and of sober mind” (1 Peter 5:8) to really experience the fulfillment found in healthy relationships, secured in emotional maturity.  After listening to this episode, you will be equipped to:Apply healthy coping mechanisms in your reactions and responses when your emotions get hijacked by past or present trauma.Learn the secret to experiencing the peace of Christ every single day by clothing yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.Embrace the freeing truth and encouragement that a journey of growing in emotional maturity is not marked by perfection but by progress.Friend, we pray this conversation blesses you with encouragement and practical wisdom wherever you are in your journey today!Helpful Links:Want more wisdom as you navigate hard relationship dynamics? Find practical next steps, powerful scriptures and timely guidance on how to set realistic, healthy boundaries in Lysa TerKeurst's new book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes. In the pages of this book, Lysa's personal counselor, Jim Cress, also provides therapeutic insight surrounding the topic of boundaries, helping you confidently apply what you read. Order the Proverbs 31-exclusive version here.Ready to take a personal next step in finding a Christian counselor? The American Association of Christian Counselors is a great place to find the right fit for you and your circumstances.Has the Therapy & Theology podcast helped you personally gain a fresh, biblical perspective for what you’re facing? Tell us about it by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. When you review and rate the podcast, it helps us reach even more people with biblical Truth and therapeutic wisdom.Click here to view the transcript for this episode.Here’s a list of some signs of emotional maturity or sobriety mentioned in this episode: Be committed to healthy habits, not unhealthy coping mechanisms. Operate in self-awareness, owning your stuff and taking responsibility for your actions without saying “but you …” and blaming. Express empathy. Admit your mistakes and confess them. Steer clear of judgment. Practice and enforce healthy boundaries. Seek first to understand before you’re understood; say, “Help me understand …” 

When our earthly experiences with love have left us feeling unprotected, uncertain and ultimately unloved, it’s tempting not to want to risk trusting anyone again.And all too often, our view of love and God’s love for us is tainted by the people who have failed us. But God doesn’t want us to stay stuck in our places of hurt. He wants to heal us and help us move forward so we can experience not only the depth of His love for us but also the power of life-giving, healthy relationships with other people, fostered in an environment of authentic love both given and received. In this episode of Therapy & Theology, Lysa TerKeurst; her personal, licensed professional counselor, Jim Cress; and Proverbs 31 Ministries Director of Theological Research Dr. Joel Muddamalle tackle some of the most important questions surrounding love and our motivations behind love, including:How can you love the Lord with your heart, soul and mind?How can you really love your neighbor as yourself?What is motivating your love? And what is that motivation revealing?Where is what you love ultimately leading you?How would you define love?After this conversation, you will be equipped to:Understand what biblical love is, and what it isn’t, by discerning the difference between kindness and enabling.Know what to do if you feel stuck in an unhealthy relationship, and learn the safest outlets you can take your most important questions to, including trusted friends, a pastor or a Christian counselor.Like Jim Cress says, “true love connects and communes.” So, friend, we pray this conversation leaves you feeling more loved by God and more equipped to pursue healthy, loving relationships with others.Helpful Links:Want more wisdom as you navigate hard relationship dynamics? Find practical next steps, powerful scriptures and timely guidance on how to set realistic, healthy boundaries in Lysa TerKeurst's new book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes. In the pages of this book, Lysa's personal counselor, Jim Cress, also provides therapeutic insight surrounding the topic of boundaries, helping you confidently apply what you read. Order the Proverbs 31-exclusive version here.Ready to take a personal next step in finding a Christian counselor? The American Association of Christian Counselors is a great place to find the right fit for you and your circumstances.Has the Therapy & Theology podcast helped you personally gain a fresh, biblical perspective for what you’re facing? Tell us about it by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. When you review and rate the podcast, it helps us reach even more people with biblical Truth and therapeutic wisdom.Click here to view the transcript for this episode.

All of us have facts that make up the stories of who we are. But we’re not just the sum total of these facts. There’s also the impact from these facts, which lives with us beyond the occurrence of the devastation, abuse or pain that happened to us. And in the middle of that impact, chances are there are some Shame Scripts holding us hostage from living in the freedom God so desires for us.A Shame Script can simply be defined as a faulty belief or perception of self, others and/or God. Shame Scripts back us into isolation, making us imprisoned by lies, like … You are unwanted.You are an inconvenience.No one really cares about you.If you’re not performing or achieving something, you don’t have value.You’re just not good enough. In this episode of Therapy & Theology, Lysa TerKeurst, Jim Cress and Joel Muddamalle dive into how Shame Scripts reveal themselves personally in their lives, and this episode also discusses practical tips and tools for how we can find our way out of the shame caving us in. After listening, you will be equipped to:Live true to your most healed, healthy, whole, holy, surrendered-to-God self and not the version of yourself that’s haunted and held back by shame.Replace scripts of shame with words of life by uncovering the truth, found in Genesis, of how God really made us and what He made us for.We pray this conversation blesses you, friend!A note from Proverbs 31 Ministries: This podcast contains content that might not be suitable for young children and may serve as a trigger due to circumstances in your past. Please see the links below if you need help finding a counselor.Helpful Links:Want more wisdom as you navigate hard relationship dynamics? Find practical next steps, powerful scriptures and timely guidance on how to set realistic, healthy boundaries in Lysa TerKeurst's new book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes. In the pages of this book, Lysa's personal counselor, Jim Cress, also provides therapeutic insight surrounding the topic of boundaries, helping you confidently apply what you read. Order the Proverbs 31-exclusive version here.Ready to take a personal next step in finding a Christian counselor? The American Association of Christian Counselors is a great place to find the right fit for you and your circumstances.Has the Therapy & Theology podcast helped you personally gain a fresh, biblical perspective for what you’re facing? Tell us about it by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. When you review and rate the podcast, it helps us reach even more people with biblical Truth and therapeutic wisdom.Click here to view the transcript for this episode.

Chances are, we all have been plagued by one of the heaviest, silent battles one can fight: shame. The enemy wants us to believe this lie: We are isolated and stuck in carrying the weight of our sin and ultimately our own shame. But Jesus paved the way for us to live in freedom beyond the destructive weight and narrative that shame begs us to believe and live by.In this episode of Therapy & Theology, Lysa TerKeurst dives deep into some of her own personal testimony and into conversation surrounding “Good Guilt Vs. Destructive Shame” with her personal, licensed professional counselor, Jim Cress, as well as Proverbs 31 Ministries Director of Theological Research Dr. Joel Muddamalle. By listening to this episode, you will …Learn the distinct differences between shame, guilt, conviction and condemnation and be equipped with tools to combat the specific lies associated with each of them.Overcome feeling disconnected and isolated, and learn how to utilize healthy guilt that actually leads to healthy connection with God and others.Stop feeling alone in your shame struggle, and apply practical tools and scripts for life-giving conversations that birth compassion, empathy and vulnerability with others.Friend, God already sees you. He is ready for you to turn to Him, even in the weight of the shame you may feel. We pray this episode blesses you!A note from Proverbs 31 Ministries: This podcast contains content that might not be suitable for young children and may serve as a trigger due to circumstances in your past. Please see the links below if you need help finding a counselor.Helpful Links: Want more wisdom as you navigate hard relationship dynamics? Find practical next steps, powerful scriptures and timely guidance on how to set realistic, healthy boundaries in Lysa TerKeurst's new book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes. In the pages of this book, Lysa's personal counselor, Jim Cress, also provides therapeutic insight surrounding the topic of boundaries, helping you confidently apply what you read. Order the Proverbs 31-exclusive version here.Ready to take a personal next step in finding a Christian counselor? The American Association of Christian Counselors is a great place to find the right fit for you and your circumstances.Has the Therapy & Theology podcast helped you personally gain a fresh, biblical perspective for what you’re facing? Tell us about it by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. When you review and rate the podcast, it helps us reach even more people with biblical Truth and therapeutic wisdom.Click here to view the transcript for this episode.

When we’ve been deeply hurt, whether by someone or by circumstances outside of our control, we often wonder if forgiveness is even possible. What if they never say they’re sorry? What if things will never feel “normal” again? Lysa TerKeurst has wrestled with these same questions.In this episode, you will hear from Lysa as well as Proverbs 31 Ministries Director of Theological Research Dr. Joel Muddamalle and Jim Cress, Lysa’s personal, licensed professional counselor. They'll equip you to …Reconsider the misconceptions you've always believed about the forgiveness process, and discover seven truths — about what forgiveness is and isn't — that may surprise you. Let go of any bitterness holding you back from offering forgiveness to those who hurt you, and understand the necessity of daily confession.Find hope in the losses that are unchangeable, or that feel unforgivable, by trusting in the character of God, even when you don’t understand what has been allowed by God. Recognize what codependency is and how it may be keeping you from setting the appropriate boundaries you need to ensure that you and your relationships are healthy.A note from Proverbs 31 Ministries: This podcast contains content that might not be suitable for young children and may serve as a trigger due to circumstances in your past. Please see the links below if you need help finding a counselor. Helpful Links:Want more wisdom as you navigate hard relationship dynamics? Find practical next steps, powerful scriptures and timely guidance on how to set realistic, healthy boundaries in Lysa TerKeurst's new book, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes. In the pages of this book, Lysa's personal counselor, Jim Cress, also provides therapeutic insight surrounding the topic of boundaries, helping you confidently apply what you read. Order the Proverbs 31-exclusive version here.Ready to take a personal next step in finding a Christian counselor? The American Association of Christian Counselors is a great place to find the right fit for you and your circumstances.Has the Therapy & Theology podcast helped you personally gain a fresh, biblical perspective for what you’re facing? Tell us about it by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. When you review and rate the podcast, it helps us reach even more people with biblical Truth and therapeutic wisdom.Click here to view the transcript for this episode.

Have you ever looked at a situation you’re facing in utter disbelief and thought, “How will I ever get over this?” Lysa TerKeurst understands. But after several years of extreme heartbreak and emotional trauma, she's realized it’s not about just getting over hard circumstances. She's had to learn how to work through what she has walked through.  And she wants to help you do the same. That’s why Lysa teamed up with her personal, licensed professional counselor, Jim Cress, and Director of Theological Research at Proverbs 31 Ministries Dr. Joel Muddamalle to bring you Therapy & Theology. After listening to an episode, you will be equipped to experience hope in the midst of devastating circumstances through practical and proven exercises to help you process your pain.            Helpful Links:  Proverbs 31 Ministries reaches women in the middle of their busy days through free devotions, podcasts, speaking events, conferences, resources, online Bible studies, and training in the call to write, speak and lead others. Learn more by visiting our website!Stay connected with Lysa TerKeurst, Jim Cress and Dr. Joel Muddamalle on Instagram.Visit the Proverbs 31 Ministries bookstore to browse books and Bible studies written by Lysa TerKeurst. Subscribe to the Proverbs 31 Ministries Podcast Insider to be the first to find out the latest on Therapy & Theology.