Let us start off by saying that we LOVE therapy. However, all therapists are NOT created equally and on this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce we are looking at the problem that some therapists create for their clients.  Okay...stay with us... Dr Bill Doherty is joining us on this very special episode to shed light on a topic that needs more attention. We want you to listen to this episode to truly disgest the ideas discussed, but for the show notes, we will leave you this: Be aware of comments that your individual therapist makes regarding your spouse or ex spouse without ever meeting them.  Be even more aware of personality disorders that your individual therapist might claim your spouse or ex spouse has.    This episode has LOTS of controvesial ideas, so please listen with an open mind.    To find Dr Doherty online, please visit : http://www.discernmentcounseling.com As always, we bring the information you need while navigating your divorce, the entertainment you deserve and the empathy you are craving.  We are here for you every single step of the way. Pre divorce, during your divorce, and post divorce.  We will guide you, maybe make you laugh, and hopefully help you feel less alone.    For more community, please join our Patreon and Facebook groups. You've got this and we've got you!

What is Nesting?? Nesting is when a divorced couple with children keep the children in the family home, or "nest", and the divorced parents spend their parenting time in the "nest" and their non parenting time outside of the "nest". The pros and cons to this lifestyle are varied, and that's exactly why we brought on Beth Behrendt, who's "nested" for many years and even wrote a book documenting not only her experience, but the experience of five other families.  Listen to this episode to hear Morgan's legal questions regarding the topic and Andrea's slighty taboo questions on the sticky side of "nesting".  This episode will open your eyes to a completley different approach to living with your children post divorce. This lifestyle is NOT for everyone. Please consult your attorney and therapist before venturing down the nesting road.  To get your hands on a copy of Beth's book, Nesting After Divorce, head HERE! Beth also offers access to an exclusive group on Facebook to those who are "nesting curious"  Facebook Group As ALWAYS, Morgan and Andrea are here to guide you, support you, and entertain you along your journey pre, during and post divorce.    You've got this, and we've got you!!

This podcast episode is not meant to scare you. It's meant to INFORM you.  Please pay attention to the insight given by Steven Bradley and take note of these action steps.   1) Download the Avast App to protect your phone from spyware that can EASILY be installed for someone to track you and listen to your messages.  2) Install a VPN on your phone 3) Download the Tile App to help you detect traker devices   You can also hire Steven to help you walk through what you need to do to protect yourself: http//:www.bradleytrainingconsulting.com   Our Family Wizard is a parenting app that helps protect you during and post divorce. More on that app later!   And now, a word from our sponsor: Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks.  With Worthy, you’re in control from start to finish. If your item doesn’t sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured. And now for a limited time you’ll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/notsuck. (See website for terms.)

"Self Care" can be MUCH easier than you think. Forget about the day at the spa or the daycation at the fancy hotels...those are great, but not everyone has the money and time!!   Here's something that EVERYONE can do. Meditate. Stay with me. Meditation does not have to be so "woo woo" and for people who spend their afternoon hugging trees. Meditation is a really valuable way to help you get your sh$t together, for lack of a better expression!   Listen to the calming voice and words from Lynne Goldberg, she's the co founder of the Breethe App, an app that's designed for the non meditator. You'll find quick and simple guided meditations that will help you reframe your mind and help you gear up for big moments in your divorce: signing agreements, mediation, etc.  Just TRY it...what do you have to lose??  And you have EVERYTHING to gain! To download the Breethe App, head here: https://breethe.com   And a note from our Sponsors: How Not To Suck at Divorce is sponsored by Worthy. Worthy helps you get the most money possible for your diamond jewelry or luxury watch, fast and risk-free. Their experts do all the work for you, and their competitive auctions get you up to 3X what a local jeweler might offer in as little as 2 weeks.  With Worthy, you’re in control from start to finish. If your item doesn’t sell for the price you want, Worthy sends it back to you at no cost, fully insured. And now for a limited time you’ll get an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for over $1,500. All you have to do is register at https://worthy.com/notsuck. (See website for terms.)   How Not To Suck at Divorce is also sponsored by Soberlink.  Soberlink’s alcohol monitoring system is the simplest and most efficient way to prove sobriety during parenting time.  As we always say, you’ve got this and we’ve got you, which is exactly why we’ve teamed up with Soberlink to give you $50 off your device.  To sign up and claim your offer, visit www.soberlink.com/notsuck

Okay, boys, this one's for you! But girls, you should listen, too. There's some really helpful information given that we could all use! It's not just women who need community during a divorce. And it's often harder for men to ask for help.  On this episode we talk to Mike Rosen, who hosts a virtual support group,(that doesn't suck), weekly, through a non profit organization called Men Living. The power of knowing that you're not alone can help move somebody forward that's exactly why this group exists. Mike equates the group to an "umbrella in a rainstorm"...and we ALL could use an umbrella in a rainstorm.  So what's stopping you from checking this group out???  You can just listen on your first call, if that makes you feel more comfortable. This group is guys, just like you, from all around the world, here to vent, share, and help eachother through an exhuasting process.  Be proactive and start the process of feeling better. And don't worry, this group is completely FREE. NO strings, NO scams. Click the link below the calendar page on the Men Living site. The group is held on Tuesday nights. When you click on the "VIRTUAL CALL – SEPARATION/DIVORCE SUPPORTSUPPORT FOR THOSE WHO ARE TOUCHED BY SEPARATION/DIVORCE" there will be a place for you to register.  https://menliving.org/calendar-now/   So if you are wondering: Is there a divorce support group for men? How can men get free therapy? Where can I find a virtual support group for divorce? LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE!   And remember to add yourself to our PRIVATE communites: http://www.patreon.com/hownototsuckatdivorce http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity And follow us on Instagram! http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

Inspired by a listener email, we bring you: "Should I Change or Keep my Last Name?" It can be a tough decision, but here's our bottom line: YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE A DECISION RIGHT AWAY!! If you're struggling with: Is it okay if I have a different last name than my kids? Will keeping my spouse's last name prohibit me from moving on after my divorce? LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE!! And don't forget, you have the option to keep your martial last name professionally, if that's the best decision for you, and you can go back to your pre marraige last name socially! As always, we suggest that you run these thoughts about your last name by your therapist to get their opinion.   And Andrea wants you all to remember to not forget YOU in this decision making process. So often, we are consumed by what's best for our children-which is clearly important-but don't forget about you.   Whatever you decide to do, just know that there's no rush in this decision.   And yes, Major Dick Zucker is a real story. I know...I know. Hope this episode gave you some insight and a little giggle.    Remember to join our private communities!! Patreon (for private listening and extra information) Private Facebook Community (for community and relatable content)   And remember friends, we are here for you, always. Please message us with any questions! DM us on IG!   You've Got This and WE'VE GOT YOU, Morgan & Andrea       

Listen to this episode BEFORE you go into mediation.  It IS possible to have a positive outcome from mediation, even if you feel like you your soon to be ex spouse agree on NOTHING.  Here are 3 EXPERT tips (from a mediator herself) to help you reframe your mind before entering mediation:   1) You don't have to RESPECT your soon to be ex, but you still need to have some DIGNITY for them. In other words, treat them like a human who also has wants and needs (even if their wants and needs are questionable and they're acting like a total tool)   2)Start to think of the problem as something that's outside of you and your soon to be ex. Meaning, the issue is "who gets the kids this Christmas?" or "who gets the lake house?" or "who's going to get the collection of ketchup bottles?" (yes, that was an actual issue for one of Morgan's cases). The issue is not about YOU, and it's not about you soon to be ex, it's simply a "problem" that needs to be "solved".   3)Think about why you want what you say you want. This one is kinda about checking ego, and also just gaining some perspective on the situation.    It's important to keep in mind that everyone loses something in a divorce. You're not gonna come of this thing with EVERYTHING you want, it just doesn't work like that.  In fact, the old divorce joke goes, "if both parties are unhappy and feel they got cheated, then the attorneys did their job" I (Andrea) HATE that joke and it makes me want to scream, but that's the way it goes! And remember, mediaiton, divorce, all of this mess is just going to be ONE event that happened in your life. It's not your life, you have a lot more life to live when this is all behind you.  To find Joy online (and if you're in the great state of NY and would like contact Joy, visit: www.joyrosenthal.com And to access her course, head here! https://courses.joyrosenthal.com/landing-on-your-feet We are here for you, and here to help you not suck at mediation. As always, please message us with questions! http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce And join our private community! http://www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

Chew on this: It's not the divorce that hurts the children; it's the conflict.   Coparenting can be REALLY hard, everybody knows that. But coparenting with someone who's really difficult, and someone who gave you hell during your divorce process is reaaaaallllly hard, believe me, we know. We have heard it all.    So what the hell can you do to make this situation work? Well, we are going to tell you! Today, on the show we have Deb Conley, a therapist who specializes in high conflict coparenting.   Here are three ways you can reframe your mindset to help you BEGIN to coparent with someone who's not easy to coparent with: 1) Don't live in the past. (Look, we know they sucked when you were married to them, but not EVERYTHING they do as a coparent is sucking. Try your best to separate.) 2)Speak to them the way you would speak to a boss or a coworker. Take the emotion out of it. (Easier said that done, we know, but you have to reframe your mind to view this as a business relationship: the relationship of being effective coparents.  3) Let IT GO (of control) This one sucks, but it's important. You can't control everything. You just can't. You've got help yourself determine the issues that are MAJOR that warrant bringing up your concern to your coparent and things that you need to just LET GO OF. (If you are rolling your eyes and you want to scream, Andrea is with you. Having control is probably her favorite hobby) But wait, there's more!!   Deb Conley offers a course you can take to help you be a better coparent. It's done virutally and not both you and your ex have to take it! (Although it does work better if you both take it!) To sign up for the course, email: paralegal.petrichlaw@gmail.com Subject Line: CoParenting Course In the body of the text, mention you heard Deb speak on How Not to Suck at Divorce and they'll be extra nice to you! Course is available to everyone.  BONUS EPISODE on this topic over on our PATREON channel- go listen NOW!   Aside from that, Morgan loves girls' trips, Andrea does not.  Andrea is heading to Vegas this weekend with her kids to teach them how to gamble and party all night. (THAT'S A JOKE< CALM DOWN)   love you guys! Hang in there!!  

Here are three action steps you can take to put you in the best position possible to keep your martial home.    1) Learn how to best refinance/look at a buyout 2) Get creative with negotiations  3) Remember to keep a business mindset (We go deep into all of these steps, so make sure you take a close listen to this episode!)   If you've wondered: How can I refinace my home? How can I remove my ex spouse from my mortgage? How can I convince my ex to let me keep the house? How can I stay in my martial home? How can I pull equity out of my house to payback my ex?   THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU! Also, we are doing two BONUS episodes for this topic, both of those will be available on our Patreon channel! www.patreon.com/hownottosuckatdivorce *one of our bonus episodes will be with a refinacing expert!   aaaannnnnd Andrea is obsessed with the Target tank tops and they're only $8. So don't say we never nothin' for ya!   Hang in there, friends. We know this process is hard, but you've got this, and we've got you. 

The house.  A hot topic during divorce. And for good reason; it's the house where you made lots of memories, especially if you have children together.  But since the house is likely an asset that you have as a couple, now that you are divorcing, it's an asset that will need to be divided.  So, what the hell should you do with the house?? If you've been googling: "Can I keep my house in my divorce?" "How can I figure out how much my house is worth?" "Do I have to split my house with my ex husband/wife?" Then this episode is for you! Let's break this down into three steps that you can take to help you through "the house" process: 1- Determine the value (either by getting it appraised or by getting a CMA- listen to the episode to learn what CMA stands for!)   2- Have a better understanding of what the court would decide to do with the house should you and your ex not reach a conclusion together (you will rely on your attorney heavily here)   3- Be prepared to negotiate with your ex. Kind of goes without saying, but keep in mind that house is something that can be used as leverage at some point in your divorce process.   It's really difficult for a lot of us to view something as personal as our home as part of a business transaction, but that's exactly why we felt that this episode is so important.  And stay tuned for part 2 of "The House" where we are going to give you some pro tips on what you can do if your wish is to keep the house!   Oh, and Morgan is obsessed with Publix grocery stores...listen to episode to hear how she thought the name was pronounced when she was younger!!   If you need Morgan or Andrea for more insight and guidance, please DM or email...or come find us at the nearest Publix in the bakery section!!