Soul Gum

19th century German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche believed every transformation followed a sacred three-step pattern. In this episode, we walk through the three metamorphoses of the soul from Nietzsche’s 1883 work Thus Spoke Zarathustra. We’ll talk about why a chapter of chaos might be necessary to become your fullest, truest self, and how Nietzsche’s stages apply to modern life. This episode is for you if you're experiencing or anticipating a big shift, no matter whether it relates to your career, relationships, creativity, spirituality, identity, or everything at once. If you’re feeling lost, restless, or ready for reinvention, this one’s for you.EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro06:34 The camel spirit 11:32 The lion spirit 17:25 The child spirit 25:40 Lightning round recap 26:43 ChallengeMY LINKS• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Join the waitlist for future retreats! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Thought daughters, this one’s for you. This episode is your guide to keeping your mind fed all summer long. In it, I share the note-taking system that’s changing my life, a 10 minute morning routine that primes your brain for creative work, recs for intellectually stimulating podcasts, books, and newsletters, and more. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro02:14 1. Take notes  06:57 2. Write by hand08:42 3. Get out of your echo chamber11:01 4. Remember the Zeigarnik effect 14:54 5. Change your conversation norms18:08 6. Practice hard attention21:11 7. 10 minute morning rule22:33 8. Chew your brain food23:54 9. Show what you don’t know26:20 Newsletter recs 27:41 Philosophy podcast recs28:08 Poetry recs29:40 Lightning round recap 

So your life just changed. Maybe you moved, your relationship ended, or you quit a job. You've found yourself in new territory without your usual routines, roles, or scripts. You're Googling “who even am I?” every night.Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s wrong. In this episode, I’m sharing 8 things I wish I knew during past seasons of change in my life. The in-between is uncomfortable, but it's also full of possibility. If you’re in a messy middle right now, this one’s for you. EPISODE OUTLINE 03:35 How to follow your intuition 06:38 How to know the right choice10:50 The effect of your ego14:10 The impact of who you keep close 19:27 The importance of confrontation23:21 The impact of tiny choices 26:40 How to shift into the next chapter 28:59 Hard versus wrong SOURCESSmoke filled room study Balloon study bell hooks, all about love Audre Lorde essay: The Transformation of Silence into Language and ActionChurning of the ocean story from the Mahabharata 

How you spend your weeks is how you spend your life. In this episode, I walk through five powerful philosophical, psychological and spiritual concepts—including Nietzsche’s eternal return, Aristotle’s golden mean, the planning fallacy, and Parkinson’s Law—that will help you create a weekly routine you love. I also let you in on my own weekly routine, including a Sunday night ritual to rewire your brain and my top tips for planning weeks that change your life. EPISODE OUTLINE04:21 Nietzsche’s eternal return12:27 Aristotle’s golden mean 19:04 The jar principle & Parkinson’s law23:16 “I don’t have time” vs. “it’s not a priority”25:28 The planning fallacy (Kahneman) 31:59 Dharma37:22 My weekly routineMY LINKS• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Join the waitlist for future retreats! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

The bad news is you’re always going to care what people think. The good news is  it doesn’t have to control your life. In this episode, I walk through 9 ways to rethink your relationship with external validation. If you want to be done letting other people’s opinions steer your every move, this one’s for you.EPISODE OUTLINE00:00 Intro05:28 1. Caring what people think is natural07:14 2. You can’t control how you feel, but you can control what you do 16:07 3. You should care what some people think 18:16 4. Not caring what people think ≠ not caring about people19:45 5. Chasing approval always backfires eventually26:21 6. You don’t know what people think30:29 7. Other people are not thinking about you as much as it feels like they are35:32 8. You care more about other people’s opinions when you don’t have your own37:28 9. It’s okay to want to be with people who make you feel good39:27 Lightning round recap42:29 ChallengeEPISODE LINKS• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz • Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl • The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga• The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir• The Art of Living by Epictetus • Spotlight Effect Study • Social Rejection Triggers Physical Pain Brain Centers • Surgeon General's Report on the Health Impact of Loneliness MY LINKS• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Join the waitlist for future retreats! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Exploring the concept of self, the discussion dives into philosophical thoughts from Freud to Sartre, highlighting how our childhood shapes our identities. The 'cool chill girl' stereotype reveals the tension between societal expectations and personal authenticity. Jung's ideas on masks and shadows shed light on our hidden selves. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own journeys towards honesty, questioning how much of themselves they truly own versus perform. It’s a deep dive into the struggle for genuine self-expression in a conformist world.

Feeling stuck? This discussion tackles that all-too-common rut, exploring emotional challenges following major life transitions. A practical three-step roadmap is laid out: firstly, clarifying your personal story to reframe setbacks; secondly, making small, manageable plans to regain momentum; and lastly, extending grace to yourself during tough times. With personal anecdotes and insights on resilience, this talk inspires listeners to embrace imperfections and take actionable steps toward renewal.

What actually makes us feel drawn to someone—and what makes us cling to situationships long after we can see the glaring red flags of emotional unavailability?In today's episode, I’m joined by my first-ever guest (!!) and one of my favorite podcasters of all time, Jemma Sbeg—host of the wildly popular Psychology of Your 20s podcast and the author of Person in Progress. If you’ve ever screamed-cried in your car after someone you weren’t even officially dating ghosted you, this one’s for you.A few things we dive into:A research-backed formula for attraction (and how to use it without playing games)The role of the “spark” in attractionThe psychology behind common dating pitfalls in your 20sThe stigma of being singleThe commitment-readiness scale (and why it can land you in situationship after situationship)Jemma also shares insights from PERSON IN PROGRESS—a roadmap for surviving the chaotic, confusing, deeply transitional decade that is your twenties—and offers advice to her younger self that made me tear up a little. Whether you’re trying to understand your patterns, make sense of someone else's, or just feel a little less alone in the dating trenches, this one will stick with you. EPISODE OUTLINE00:00 Intro02:51 The formula for attraction04:21 1. Proximity07:10 2. Similarity11:43 3. Familiarity14:03 The 3 month rule16:55 The curse of comfort19:31 The sunk cost fallacy21:06 The fear of starting over22:37 4. Reciprocity23:13 The harm of playing games26:36 5. A spark27:19 The psychology of common relationship pitfalls27:31 1. Repetition compulsion31:04 2. The stigma of being single36:45 3. Situationships38:23 The commitment-readiness scale40:21 Permission slip to grieve your situationship <342:09 Lightning round recap43:26 Last question: what would you tell past you? PERSON IN PROGRESSIf you liked this episode, you will love PERSON IN PROGRESS. Out now and available everywhere you buy books. Get your copy today!PERSON IN PROGRESS BY JEMMA SBEGPERSON IN PROGRESS BY JEMMA SBEGPERSON IN PROGRESS BY JEMMA SBEGMY LINKS• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  PS - This is the study I mentioned that found that single women are one of the happiest demographics on Earth. And an article about it here!

What if the things you believe about life, love, success, and happiness are backwards? In today’s episode, we’re diving into 10 paradoxes: the little plot twists, contradictions, and life surprises I wish someone had warned me about. Learning these the hard way cost me a lot of time and heartbreak, and my hope is that sharing them now saves you some of yours. Hit play for a big, juicy reality check. EPISODE OUTLINE00:00 Intro01:23 1. The likability paradox 03:12 2. The paradox of choice06:09 3. The paradox of knowledge 06:52 The Dunning-Kruger Effect08:22 4. The paradox of failure 09:12 Not choosing is a choice (Jean-Paul Sartre)10:33 5. The paradox of tolerance (Karl Popper) 11:03 James Baldwin on agreeing to disagree 12:20 6. The paradox of moving on 12:46 Ironic process theory 14:19 7. The paradox of pleasure15:37 Aristotle's virtue-based happiness16:08 Viktor Frankl on happiness 17:07 The dopamine trap 18:03 8. The paradox of freedom18:33 Self-determination theory 20:02 The dizziness of freedom (Kierkegaard)20:52 9. The paradox of shadow sides (Carl Jung) 22:54 10. The paradox of the comfort zone 24:46 Lightning round recap MY LINKS• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

Getting back in the saddle? I love that for you. But here’s the truth: staying on track takes more than motivation. If you’ve been craving a fresh start but don't know where to start, this episode is for you. We’re breaking down 8 of the most common ways people sabotage their own progress—from relying too much on discipline to using self-hate as fuel. Whether you have a big dream or just want to get unstuck, you deserve to enter your next chapter with eyes wide open. Let’s talk about the philosophy and psychology of making a comeback stick. EPISODE OUTLINE 00:00 Intro 02:40 Eight ways to sabotage a comeback03:22 1. Believing you're behind06:19 2. Being apologetic about what you want07:18 You hold yourself back when you move in silence08:41 You're being judgmental when you assume people are judging you10:28 3. Underestimating the subconscious mind10:45 The neuroscience of manifestation12:46 Self-deprecation is manifesting too 14:37 4. Focusing only on your how & not your why14:47 Nietzsche's will to power15:20 Chasing superficial whys 17:14 5. Underestimating the power of small changes19:38 Results are a lagging measure of effort (James Clear) 21:30 6. Focusing on what you can't control21:55 Amor Fati: loving your fate (Nietzsche)23:22 PS: My book MAKE BELIEVE is out now 24:05 Stop feeling bad for yourself for not figuring it out sooner25:58 7. Waiting until you're ready to start26:30 Hiding in the planning phase 26:51 The confidence-competence loop27:50 8. Using self-hate as fuel 29:56 Lightning round recap30:56 Give yourself some creditEPISODE LINKSMichigan State Study on accountability⁠Mind Magic by Dr. James DotyStudy using fMRI showing impact of visualization on motor cortexThe Gay Science by Friedrich Nietzsche MY LINKS• ⁠MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join me in Bali June 1-7! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠• ⁠⁠Find me @thedailyvictorian on TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠