The Kevin Miller Podcast

“Blessings” is right there with the word “success” as far as having a lot of baggage connected to it, and I don’t bring the term to the show lightly. But right now, do you feel more or less, blessed? And before you think, “Well of course. My family, I have a job, I’m in decent health, of course I’m blessed…” This isn’t a count-your-blessings pitch. I mean right now in your day to day life. Are your relationships all you desire them to be? How are feeling financially? Do you feel purposeful and hopeful? How about just your level of ongoing joy? How is your stress level? How is your self-talk? Do you feel things generally work out for you and fall in your favor? Do you really feel like you are living within a flow of blessing? Then the question is...to have blessings and if I can say, “favor”, are there any requirements from you? I know, this is a slippery slope issue because the idea of “do this and get that” regarding God and blessings has really been misused. So I have someone for you today, and we’ll hit it head on. Back in 2006 I got ahold of a book with a crazy title, “In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day,” by a guy named Mark Batterson. He was pastor of a church in D.C. Today, he is still that pastor, but now a prolific, best selling author and speaker. He has a new book titled, “Double Blessing - How to Get It. How to Give It.” Right off the bat in our talk together he hits on the “prosperity gospel” issue and actually cites, “The blessings of God will complicate your life”. I feel I brought the tough questions up and this show will open up some new perspectives for you on how you tangibly orient your life. If you don’t know Mark, he is the author of 15 books including the USA Today bestseller "Chase the Lion," which inspired the recently published "Chase the Lion Weekly Planner" and the New York Times best-seller "The Circle Maker." Mark is the founder and lead pastor of National Community Church (NCC), one church with 7 campuses throughout Washington D.C. National Community Church, known as one of the most innovative and influential churches in America, also owns and operates Ebenezers Coffeehouse, the Miracle Theatre, and the DC Dream Center. Connect with him at https://www.markbatterson.com/ and find his books...everywhere. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is about how you are arranging your life. Your days are not neutral, they are constantly forming you into the person you will be tomorrow and ongoing. As much as I and my peers in personal development would like to offer you the one, true holy grail of what will establish your life for the better, it doesn’t exist. But there are some fundamental and foundational awarenesses you must have for your greatest, personal success. Hearing them in this show won’t solve anything if you don’t do something about them. However, being aware, is truly, the start. There is very little chance you’ve thought out what you want in the primary areas of your life. Few have and as you’ll hear in the show, I never did really did either. I was brought up on goal planning and planning out your year and investing for the future. I didn’t do it. None of it. I wish I had and the reason for this ‘Special Edition’ show is due to a poignant event in my own life, which I’ll share in this show. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A key to a great story plot or comedy routine is to take people along a predictive path and then disrupt it. Our human nature loves this because it ignites pleasurable feelings in our brain, in our mind. A master of communication who led us through some of the ways to leverage prediction is Jared Cooney Harvath, our main guest in episode 731. This is our Habits show and in the mental spoke, Jared shared a common tactic he uses is to break his own predictive patterns so as to foster new programming for his brain. What a simple and effective tactic. We generally want to find a routine we like and take the ease of sticking to it. In some regards this is good, as our mind can be on autopilot and freed up for other thinking and tasks. But if we completely routinize our lives we can become stagnant and complacent. I once had a friend dealing with OCD who was charged by her therapist to drive a different way home each day from work. She about blew a gasket not taking her tried and true, routine path, but it helped do the trick...to wake her mind up to other possibilities. This and the other spokes of Jared’s habits, in this show. You can find Jared’s book, "Stop Talking, Start Influencing: 12 Messages from Brain Science to Make Your Message Stick" on Amazon or wherever you buy books! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well, this is interesting. In the episode I play a clip from Zig Ziglar on the power of words we speak with and about other people. Then I posted a question on Facebook that went a different direction. I asked, “If you were daily being recorded in secret, what would you be proud of, and what would you be embarrassed by?” I was literally thinking about our spoken words, what we say out loud, to others or in private. Many of the replies addressed this, but the common thread also included thoughts and behaviors and unfolded into what people are proud and ashamed of regarding their personal character. Another testimony to richness of these Q&A episodes being due to audience testimonies than my leading. I had Tom Ziglar co-host with me as we talked through the very candid and vulnerable testimonies that I know you will relate to. I think this show will give you both grace for your shame while increasing your conviction to pursue what you are proud of in your personal character. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Even if they are listening, are they really hearing? Meetings. PowerPoint presentations. On stage talks, whether you are a pastor, presenter, or teacher. Selling. Anytime you are speaking and want people to really listen and be engaged. Chances are, you’re doing it wrong. Or, you could do it better. Jared Cooney Horvath is a cognitive neuroscientist with a master's degree from Harvard University and his doctorate from the University of Melbourne. His muse however, is the workplace. It’s selling and communicating and he walks us through what is normally done and why it’s so ineffective. He brilliantly lays out what the brain does when we talk while showing text, and we can only follow one, not both. He tells us why images add so much, but how many? Truly folks, this will resonate with you right off the bat and give you tremendous tips on what to do and what not to do in your next presentation of any type. It’s why he’s been featured in The New York Times, PBS, BBC, The Economist, New Scientist and ABC’s Catalyst. I shared this Jared’s book with a doctor and she responded that she stayed up late and totally reworked the presentation she was doing at a conference the next day. I’m prepping for a keynote speaking engagement overseas and following along with Jared’s counsel to structure the entire talk. The book is "Stop Talking, Start Influencing: 12 Messages from Brain Science to Make Your Message Stick" and it’s our focus of this episode. Find it on Amazon or wherever you buy books! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We generally approach conversations like we approach walking, you just do it. You don’t think much about it. While we aren’t judged too much on our walking, unless you’re a runway model, we are definitely judged, or maybe I should say responded to according to...how we do conversations. That reality is dramatically maximized when we have an agenda...when we are trying to influence someone to do something. Whether that doing is go on a date with us, getting kids to do homework or chores, or the big one...sell our product, service, or idea. Most everyone listening is at some point trying to sell someone, especially in our work, businesses, and careers. We are directly selling a product or service or idea and we are always along with it, selling ourselves. You may be trying to sell someone on giving you a raise or a promotion. So again, how do you go about it? Do you have any strategy at all? We talked with Phil Jones in episode 723 and some of what we covered was from his book, “Exactly What To Say”. With this topic in mind, I asked the Ziglar audience this question, “If I was really interested in your product or service and you had the chance to pitch me on it, right now, do you have any strategy for what you would say and how you would say it?” Ziglar’s roots are in sales, so I had Tom Ziglar join me in this show where we’ll work to cover this topic and help you understand a strategy you want for yourself. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Boom. You wake in the morning and often the first, conscious thought is a worry, concern or anxiety. It sounds negative, but it may just be how our minds work, to first deal with any threat. But it’s not an optimal way to start the day and if we hold on to the worry it will likely taint the whole day. Neil Pasricha’s tactic is to take that thought captive in the first seconds of his day, and “let it go”. He writes it down in his journal to get it out of his head. Then he also writes down something he is grateful for and what he will focus on. He calls it his Two Minute Morning and actually sells a journal by that name that is a bestseller. Neil was my guest in show 727 where the topic was, quit living your fragile life. I encourage you to visit Neil.blog and subscribe to his podcast, 3 books with Neil Pasricha. And you can get his just released new book, “You Are Awesome” at neil.blog or wherever you buy books. This is our habits episode and it was the mental spoke where he shared his waking routine that kick-starts his day. Hear more about it and his habits in the other spokes on the Ziglar Wheel of Life, in this show. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You daily, if not hourly, speak a series of words that take away your personal power. That steal your opportunity for power and control of your life. You may think it’s benign, but it absolutely is not. I brought on a special guest to discuss the issue. In this episode I have a dramatic mind hack for you. I’m actually not a fan of the whole “hack” terminology, as I don’t believe they exist...everything is a process. But this is one is hard not to give the “hack” label to, as it’s a very significant mind and life bender. The premise is, in many ways we’ve become a culture of victims. We justify and blame at an alarming rate. If right away you think, “Hey, that’s not me!” I did too, as I am not prone to place blame on others and I take full responsibility for myself. But wait, what about the circumstances? Even there, I thought…”I don’t make excuses!” Then I started listening to what I say and how often I make statements starting with, "I have to _____", "I've got to _____", "I need to _____". It’s just human nature, no different than when we see someone and say, “How are you doing?!” We aren’t actually asking how they are doing, it’s just a cliche’ way to say hi in America. Likewise, we habitually say things like, “Well ok, I’ve got to go to work now!” And, “Hey, I’ve gotta go pick up my kids.” Or, “Oh my gosh, I need to clean the house.” These are all, in truth, victim statements. They place blame on an object or circumstance or task and it takes us away from personal responsibility and the reality that pretty much 100% of all we do are things we want and choose to do. So I asked the question to the Ziglar audience, “Do you think it would be possible for you to replace all of these statements: "I have to _____", "I've got to _____", "I need to _____" - With: "I want to _____" ???? The very first response said, “Yes!” and the second said, “ If you want to lie to yourself”. The discussion went on from there. I brought on a special guest Dan Miller. My Dad. The reason why, I divulge right up front. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We live in a time of more conveniences, automation, safety, knowledge, and creature comforts than ever. In all reality most of us have a buffet of resources that should make our lives today easier than ever. Yet we seem to be sicker and sadder than ever. As a matter of fact, in regards to personal growth, health, and wellness it’s difficult to find any stat where we are improving. This is astounding. In this episode, renowned author, speaker and podcaster Neil Pasricha believes a root issue is our lack of resilience. The official definition of resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness. But instead of pushing for anything great and invariably failing here and there, and learning and getting tougher on the journey to success (being resilient), more and more we are just striving to play it safe. Get it right the first time. Neil showcases the tragedy of this and schools us on having a “failure budget”. It’s a very needed and freeing message that Neil delivers in a beautiful paradigm. Neil Pasricha thinks, writes, and speaks about intentional living and is the New York Times bestselling author of five books, including his latest, You Are Awesome. His book, The Book of Awesome and The Happiness Equation, have together spent over 200 weeks on bestseller lists and have sold over 1,000,000 copies. He hosts the Apple 'Best of 2018' award-winning podcast 3 Books which features live conversations with guests such as Malcolm Gladwell, Judy Blume, David Sedaris, and Chris Anderson of TED. I encourage you to visit Neil.blog and subscribe to his podcast, 3 books with Neil Pasricha. And you can get his just released new book, “You Are Awesome” at neil.blog or wherever you buy books. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As we continue to breach the hard questions, this one is a doozy that massively affects our relationships. In this episode we hear a six minute message from Zig Ziglar where he shares a story and from it poses the question, “Why don’t we treat everyone like they are a VIP in our lives?” He cites the impact our perspective of another holds in our relationships. From his message I asked The Ziglar Show audience this question, “How much responsibility do you feel you should take for the relationships in your life, from spouse to parent to coworkers and beyond.” And boom...the responses came in. Right away the majority were either 100% or 50%. But differentiations were made between relationships, especially regarding work or parenting and positions of authority. I’ll preface the show by saying this is not a black and white issue. But knowing what our belief is will greatly influence the health of your relationships. It is a foundational topic we would all be best served to make a decision upon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices