Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay

During this episode, Toni Borneo, a late discovered Autistic who is also the host of the "Autistic at 40" podcast shares what she has learned about Persistent Drive for Autonomy (aka Pathological Demand Avoidance). More specifically we address the following: Learn how this is a heightened stress reaction to anything that is out of the person's control There is a strong desire for autonomy over "what, when and how" and being addicted to finding ways to maintain control Why your partner may say "no" often Fight, flight, freeze response from threats or "perceived" threats The impact of "internalized" PDA Masked PDA and issues around trust Shame around PDA and secretive or sneaky behavior Creating a no-judgment zone The impact on executive function skills Your body may be in hyperarousal all the time How to get your autonomy back through equalizing with acts that are safe, boundaried and not damaging to your relationship Reframing requests and sharing declarative statements, rather than asking questions You can follow Toni on IG @autistic_at_40_podcast You can also listen to her podcast "Autistic at 40" or learn more about her on-line free space at Autisthood. If you would like to learn more about the resources Mona has available you can check out her website . If you would like to buy the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or the Workbook click here.

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love._________________________________________________ Sex has a language all its own, and it is both spoken and unspoken. Sex with our partner and with ourselves can be fun, invigorating, a great way to unwind, how we connect to our body and to our partner. When one or both partners are experiencing ND Burnout, sex can be overwhelming or require more energy than we have along with a few other hidden elements. When we don't know to look for some of these hidden elements in our relationship and sex life, the story we tell ourselves about why sex isn't happening like it used to, or how we aren't enjoying it the way we once did, can create a cassum between partners, along with feelings of rejection, guilt, shame and unwant. Those reasons just aren't the case when ND Burnout is a factor and during this episode Carole Jean Whittington shares: What ND Burnout is. How it can look from the outside. What it feels like on the inside. The hidden elements of ND Burnout that impact our sex and relationship. First step in Burnout Restoration to restart your sex life. You can learn more about Carol Jean Whittington's book, YouTube channel, podcast and the many other resources she has available at: www.whittingtonwellbeing.com

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. ______________________________________________________________ Dr. Bronwyn Wilson provides information on some of the significant discoveries that she made during her research. She reveals how different needs for interaction between two groups of people in neurodiverse relationships creates an unconventional relationship which introduces unique challenges for the people involved. She describes how these different needs and resulting challenges are linked to the development of an ongoing dynamic system of communication that often becomes a specific feature in these relationships. She also give details on the particular strategies that she uncovered for the potential positive outcomes in neurodiverse relationships. To learn more about Dr. Bron's research or her books you can click here.

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love.____________________________________________ Neurodiverse relationships can sometimes be difficult to navigate, but if we have clear ways to both communicate and understand each other, it can be easier and more gratifying. During this episode, Lawrence Siegel, MA, CSE explores some of the things we can do to communicate more effectively about our sexual and intimate needs. Things like understanding nonverbal expression and creating shared experiences of physical pleasure, using code words to communicate in the moment, and learning how to accept our partner's lack of desire without feeling personally rejected. Hopefully, the information shared will help partners relate to how they see some of the important foundations of creating a succesful, sexually rewarding relationship. You can contact Lawrence Siegel at the Sage Institute for Family Development or at the Modern Institutes for Sex Therapy Training

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. _________________________________________________ In working with Neurodiverse individuals and couples it's apparent that teaching about diverse perspectives and providing a structure for solving conflict is not enough to overcome the common neurological differences. Co-creating strategies for each person to identify, regulate and communicate about their own emotional state is essential to the success of the dynamic. In a relationship, staying calm involves self-regulation, as well as co-regulation. In this episode, Robin Tate will define each of these terms. She will also talk about the potential barriers to self-regulation and strategies that help each person, as well as the team, stay calm as they work through conflict to achieve greater connection, understanding and agreement. You can contact Robin Tate, MA, MS at: www.robintatellc.com or at robintatellc@gmail.com

Kate Webb is a neurotypical partner in a neurodiverse marriage, while Clark Webb is neurodivergent with an ASD diagnosis. They share their parenting journey, tackling the daily struggles of raising two daughters with their contrasting styles. From humorous anecdotes about chaos in their household to candid discussions on mental health, they explore their strengths and challenges. They emphasize the vital role of support and community, proving that navigating parenthood is about surviving one day at a time.

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. _______________________________________________ During this episode, Leslie Sickels, LCSW discusses how intimacy and sex are healthy, natural aspects of human relationships, yet this topic often goes unaddressed in neurodiverse couples therapy. While difficulties a nd challenges related to intimate connections are not unique to neurodiverse couples, there are core areas of neurodiversity that frequently arise and can be effectively identified, addressed, and managed in neurodiverse couples therapy. Leslie aims to normalize challenges related to intimacy and sex in neurodiverse partnerships and assist couples in identifying strategies to begin speaking more opening about these areas in couuples therapy. You can contact Leslie Sickels at LeslieSickelsLCSW.com or at LeslieSickelsLCSW@gmail.com

If you would like to learn more about the resources available through Neurodiverse Love you can check out our website at: www.neurodiverselove.com _______________________________________________ During this episode with Natalie Roberts she will be sharing the truth she has lived and is so passionate about sharing, that the impact of unknown neurodiversity in your relationship is reversible and you can thrive...and flourish! You'll find clarity about what that impact is for you plus hope and possibility that you can be YOU again in your neurodiverse relationship! You can contact Natalie at: natalie@natalieroberts.com or at www.natalieroberts.com

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love._________________________________________________ During this episode with Cheryl Rhodes, MS, LMFT, LPC you will learn more about the benefit of understanding your love languages. You've heard this term before and know that the love languages describe different ways to express and experience love. Do you know how to determine your personal love language and that of your partner? Are there Autistic or neurodivergent love languages? This episode will answer these questions and give practical suggestions for partners to give love in ways that will be best received. You can contact Cheryl Rhodes at: myrhodesmap@gmail.com

To learn more about the Neurodivere Love Conversation Cards and Workbook, the Neurodiverse Love Conference videos and the other resources available for individuals or couples in mixed neurotype relationships, check out ⁠Neurodiverse Love. _________________________________________________ During this episode, Michelle and Andrew Preston share the story about how they were struggling in their relationship until Michelle read a chapter in a book that made her realize Andrew may be Autistic. She approached him about and it and they were able to go through the diagnosis process together and learned that Andrew is in fact Autistic. Learning this strengthened their bond and improved their communication. It also helped Michelle take things less personally as she began to understand that Andrew's lack of emotion had nothing to do with her, and everything to do with how his mind works. If you are interested in learning more about Michelle and Andrew's story you can buy a copy of their book: Friendship Love Autism-Communication Struggles and Autism Diagnosis That Gave Us a New Life Together. You can follow Michelle and Andrew on TikTok@ MichelleandAndrew or email Michelle at: michellepreston@gmail.com