Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay

If you didn't have a chance to join us at the phenomenal 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference you can still learn from the more than 30 presenters who shared their lessons learned, lived experiences and expertise. For ONLY $97 you can get "lifetime access" to all 31 conference sessions and the 4 recorded Q&A panels. To begin watching the conference sessions today, or to get more information about the conference presentations and presenters click here.___________________________________________________________During this episode with coach Magi Nock we talk about ways to create more joy, safety and connection in your neurodiverse relationship. We also address the following: Accepting and acknowledging that the differences exist;Addressing grief that is unique to each partner; Compassion towards what is happening in your relationship;Cultivating curiosity about each others perspective;The bigger the trauma the more expanded your support system may need to be;Having tools and people to turn to when your dysregulated;Co-creating connection in unique ways;Finding unique ways to communicate;Understanding that you each  can “choose” to stay in the relationship;There is hope and possibility for change. You can contact Magi and learn more about her coaching services here Neurodiverse Coaching

Sarah Bergenfield, an Autistic therapist and PhD student, shares insights on the predictive processing framework and its profound impact on neurodiverse relationships. She explains how understanding this brain model can enhance social interactions and intimacy. Sarah discusses the challenges of sensory overload and how it affects communication and emotional needs. She emphasizes the importance of routines in managing unpredictability and shares strategies for embracing the strengths of autism in partnerships.

Jana M. Smith, a resilience coach specializing in nervous system regulation, shares her journey overcoming chronic health issues through brain rewiring. She discusses essential tools for managing undiagnosed ADHD and emotional dysregulation in relationships. Topics include the fight-or-flight response, sensory sensitivities, and how negativity bias can keep us stuck. Jana emphasizes the significance of expanding our 'window of tolerance' in neurodiverse partnerships, highlighting the importance of mutual understanding and effective communication.

I am SO excited to be hosting the 2nd Virtual Neurodiverse Love Conference from March 6-8th, 2025. Check out the list of presenters and sessions topics at: www.neurodiverselove.com You can register here using the discount code Mona50 to get $50 off the ticket price. In addition, you’ll get 3 FREE BONUSES worth more than $120.! All the sessions are recorded and everyone who registers will have lifetime access to all 31 sessions!!!During this episode, I have an opportunity to talk with Greg and Michelle Fuqua about their mixed neurotype marriage (Autistic/ADHD) and their journey together. More specifically we discuss:- How they met and what attracted them to each other. - Miscommunication and early triggers.- Challenges before knowing they were a neurodiverse couple.- Limited capacity to work a full-time job.- Addressing the need for autonomy.- Challenges after having kids.- Emotional barriers to protect oneself.- Cognitive dissonance. - Reframing experiences with a neurodivergent partner and child.- Not taking things so personally.- The benefit of individual therapy.- Improvements in communication. - Neglect and abandonment triggers.- Being able to communicate challenges clearly.- The importance of doing the work individually and as a couple.- Creating emotional safety for each other.- Loving each other for their differences.- Shame triggers.- What they would have changed that they now know caused the other unintentional hurt.- The importance of taking care of yourself.

I am so excited to invite all of you to join me and more than 30 amazing presenters, of many different neurotypes, to the2nd Virtual Neurodiverse Love Conference on March 6-8, 2025. All the presentations are recorded,so everyone who registers will get lifetime accessto all the sessions.If you use the the discount code Mona50 you will get $50 off the registration and your cost is ONLY $47. Click here to register today!In addition, you will get 3 awesome BONUSES FOR FREE:Digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards and the digital workbook ($23.97 value)27 video sessions from the 1st Virtual Neurodiverse Love Conference ($97 value)To see the list of presenters click here.____________________________________________________________During this episode, you will hear from AuDHD Therapist, Lindsay Averbook. Lindsay shares about her journey to get herAutism diagnosis and describes the challenges she had with medical providers who weren’t listening to her.She chose to get a neuropsychological evaluation and was diagnosed as Autistic. She also had received an ADHD diagnsosis while in college.Lindsay also shares how she went through an identity crisis after the Autism diagnosis and how she didn’t know what to do after the diagnosis.  She also began questioning whether she could still be a therapist. We also talk about the need for more education about adult neurodivergence for mental health and medical providers and the stigma associated with diagnosis.We discuss the fear of disclosure with friends, family, your romantic partner or colleagues and how everything  in life can make more sense after a diagnosis and how validating it can be as you begin to understand so many things from your past.Lastly, we talk about how media is portraying adult neurodivergence differently and how many newly diagnosed individuals may go through a grieving process as they begin to unmask and discover their most authentic self.You can contact Lindsay at:L.averbooklmhc@gmail.com

During this episode with Benjamin Meyer, LCSW we talk about how important it is to be open to understanding each person's differences throughout the dating process. We also address: Different kinds of connections and chemistry Asexuality Gender Identity Difference between romantic and sexual feelings Different kinds of romantic feelings Being upfront about your needs Meeting people who have similar special interests Getting to know people over time Understanding different perspectives and double empathy Managing rejection You can contact Benjamin at: www.benjaminmeyerlcsw.com If you would like more information about the resources Mona has available you can check out her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

During this episode, author Eleanor Vincent shares some of the ups and downs she and her ex-husband experienced in their neurodiverse relationship. More specifically she addresses: The 1st break-up, years of friendship, reuniting and then marriage; How things changed when they moved in together;  Masking and unmasking; Challenges with emotional reciprocity; Using love scripts; Communication challenges;  Short-term improvements, but not long term and consistent; Meltdowns and shutdowns; The impact of COVID;  Health challenges; Change in physical and sexual Intimacy;  Patterns in an neurodiverse relationship;  Unmet needs; Deciding to end the relationship and having no contact;  Being part of “The Lost Generation” You can learn more about Eleanor's story in her new book: "Disconnected: Portrait of a Neurodiverse Marriage" In addition, you can contact Eleanor at: www.eleanorvincent.com or contact Mona at: www.neurodiverselove.com

During this episode, Dr. Roianne Ahn shares some of the things she has learned through her lived experiences and in her 30 years as a therapist, coach, and researcher. She addresses ways in which we can better understand our wounded neural pathways (and those of our partner) and give each other grace. She shares the importance of finding your North Star as a couple and how neurotoxins may be impacting you as you and your partner react to stress through a flight or fight response. Dr. Ahn also talks about the importace of accessing your joy individually and as a couple and the value of managing a separation or divorce with grace. You can learn about Roiann's therpay and coaching practice at www.ahnpsychology.com or you can email her at ahn@ahnpsychology.com

During this episode, Misty Schmidt, LMFT shares how she navigates the communication and culture differences in her neurodivergent family and with her neurodivergent clients. She addresses the importance of having a therapist/coach who can translate the different types of communication and understanding that one partner may be very literal/concrete and the other may be more abstract. Misty also talks about the research she is conducting for her disseration. She is focusing on the dyamics between romantic partners who are both neurodivergent. She is also writing a book about navigating neurodiversity, which will include a variety of worksheets and tools including the "meltdown scale". Misty also addresses the impact of living with an incorrect diagnosis and how important it is for therapists/counselors to have training regarding neurodivergent adults, as some challenges may be identified as part of a personality disorder or trauma, however they may actually be related to neurodivergence. Unfortunately, some therapists may not understand or recognize neurovariance, sensory sensitivities and executive function differences and may think they are a trauma response and not consider neurodivergence. Explaining your internal world to a neuroaffirming therapist can help them determine what issues may be due to trauma and which may be due to neurodivergence. Misty also talks about Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) and how this may look for a neurodivergent individual and the importance of understanding it and recognizing what can be done to help reduce the impact. You can contact Misty at: www.schmidtfamilycounseling.com If you are looking for a neurodivergent therapist you can check out this site: https://neurodivergentinsights.com/ndi-directory In addition, if you would like to work with a coach or therapist who has expertise working with neurodiverse couples you can check out Mona's website

During this episode, Toni Borneo, a late discovered Autistic who is also the host of the "Autistic at 40" podcast shares what she has learned about Persistent Drive for Autonomy (aka Pathological Demand Avoidance). More specifically we address the following: Learn how this is a heightened stress reaction to anything that is out of the person's control There is a strong desire for autonomy over "what, when and how" and being addicted to finding ways to maintain control Why your partner may say "no" often Fight, flight, freeze response from threats or "perceived" threats The impact of "internalized" PDA Masked PDA and issues around trust Shame around PDA and secretive or sneaky behavior Creating a no-judgment zone The impact on executive function skills Your body may be in hyperarousal all the time How to get your autonomy back through equalizing with acts that are safe, boundaried and not damaging to your relationship Reframing requests and sharing declarative statements, rather than asking questions You can follow Toni on IG @autistic_at_40_podcast You can also listen to her podcast "Autistic at 40" or learn more about her on-line free space at Autisthood. If you would like to learn more about the resources Mona has available you can check out her website . If you would like to buy the digital version of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards or the Workbook click here.