PLAYING-IT-SAFE

Stress is nearly unavoidable in our daily lives. Unexpected things can happen to all of us, and often, we may choose to play-it-safe by working harder and harder, doing more and more.I am sharing today an interview with Espree Devora. Espree has been recently featured in INC Magazine as one of the top 30 women in tech to follow and is known as “The Girl Who Gets it Done.”Key Takeaways:How to find your own rhythms to navigate stressful momentsHow to get things done without losing yourselfHow to keep yourself accountable without being harsh with one’s selfHow to practice distress tolerance skills on-the-go(*) Show notes and resources of this episode(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever been struggling emotionally and a partner, colleague or caregiver overlooked you or made you feel worse? “I would have never let that happen,” is uttered or implied. Or an important other misses your emotional needs altogether and just focuses on themselves. When this invalidation or dismissal happens in a key relationship or two repeatedly over years, it can create a trauma of omission. It's about what you are not getting so you don't know you are missing it. One learns: “No one is going to help me when I feel like a failure, excluded or down. I have to turn my feelings off on my own.” Abandoning your inner emotional life in service of what others are comfortable with or what your professional culture rewards. In this episode, you will learn about chronic misattunement and how, instead of playing-it-safe by avoiding or placating, you can learn skills of self-care and how to ask for your needs to be met with the people that matter. Attunement is to show interest in another's world. How they've been impacted by something they've experienced and what that experience means to them. I interviewed Kelly Werner Ph.D., who kindly shares her understanding and approach to struggles driven by chronic misattunement.  Key TakeawaysWhat is chronic misattunement?Playing-it-safe moves related to chronic misattunementHow chronic misattunement shows up in relationshipsA.T.T.U.N.E (acronym) Process to heal from chronic misattunement (*) Show notes and resources of this episode(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever gone to the emergency room?Have you ever thought of how emergency doctors face stress?Have you ever considered how an emergency doctor manages anxiety as part of their work life?Today, I’m sharing with you the interview with Dr. Mark Hoffman, M.D., a board certified emergency physician, with over 30 years of practice.It was a treat to hear from Dr. Hoffman on how he:Manages stress when taking care of multiple patients at onceMakes decisions when working with patients with acute conditionsDeals with interpersonal stressPerforms a “mental triage”Juggles all tasks-medical and administrative-during his work shiftsAre the best E.R. doctors the best jugglers?What can we learn from them?What can you learn from them?(*) Show notes and resources of this episode(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Sally Winston, a renowned expert in decision-making and anticipatory anxiety, shares her insights on overcoming chronic indecision. She discusses how overthinking often leads to analysis paralysis in crucial life choices, like relationships or jobs. Winston emphasizes the importance of embracing doubt and accessing one's 'wise mind' to make confident decisions. Through mindfulness practices, she illustrates how to recognize inner guidance amidst anxiety, offering practical strategies to break free from the paralysis of choice.

How often do you assume the worst-case-scenario when facing a difficult situation?When was the last time someone invited you to a party, and you started worrying about it months in advance?Do you stress about situations that have not happened yet?Anybody can learn how our minds work and how to work with them. When we are dealing with worries, anxieties, fears, we all play-it-safe. You might be playing it safe. If you get stuck thinking of doom and gloomy scenarios, you may find yourself asking others what to do in order for you to not make any more mistakes.In this episode, I interview Dr. Sally Winston, Psy.D., an anxiety expert. She and I discuss different skills to manage those thoughts - the future-oriented ones - and those moments in which you get stuck in imagination. As you listen to this episode, you will learn actionable skills to stop worrying about what might happen and live fully in the moment. Key TakeawaysWhat is anticipatory anxietyHow to handle those moments when your imagination hijacks youThree different levels of fearThe difference between rumination and planningHow to shift from “what if” to “what is”Dr. Winston’s metaphor of how to handle uncertaintyThe opposite of uncertainty … is not what you think it is …MetacognitionsProductive thinking versus unproductive thinking(*) Show notes and resources of this episode(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is part 2 of my interview with Todd Kashdan, Ph.D.Key TakeawaysHow to persuade others skillfullyHow intolerance and speed of uncertainty feed into rigid thinkingThe connection between persuasion skills and acceptance and commitment skillsThe difference between task-oriented problem solving and relationship problemsWhat is cognitive diversity and how it plays in our group interactionsHow to use cognitive defusion when dealing with interpersonal difficultiesWhy viewpoint diversity is goodHow to spark curiosity, not fearHow to build stronger alliances during conflict(*) Show notes and resources of this episode(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever played-it-safe by keeping your opinions to yourself?When was the last time you felt afraid of social rejection that you did not say what you really thought about a topic in fear of rocking the boat?How often do you play-it-safe by placating and going along with others' opinions so you are liked by others?Group thinking, agreeing quickly with others, avoiding sharing our opinions, or making sure we don’t rock the boat are the many ways in which we play-it-safe when dealing with fears of rejection, not being liked, or not belonging in a group. But how do those playing-it-safe moves work in our relationships with others and our relationship with ourselves? When is it effective to minimize interpersonal conflict, and when is it not? How and when do we examine our beliefs about how things should be? How do we avoid cognitive rigidity?In this conversation with Dr. Todd Kashdan, Ph.D., he shares his research on persuasion, healthy dissentment, group thinking, and skills to handle conflict that go beyond assertiveness training. Key Takeaways:How group thinking leads us to “underseen” or “overseen” social situations or any other mattersWhat is healthy resentmentSkills to handle cognitive rigidityThe basics of the science of persuasionHow intolerance of uncertainty plays a role in our thinkingWhy people in disadvantage still support leaders that don’t favor themThe case of Evo Morales, the former president of Bolivia, and how group thinking created a different image of his government(*) Show notes and resources of this episode(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever been caught in a spiral of self-criticism? When was the last time your inner critic took over your day? We all have stories we’ve created about ourselves - some of them positive and some of them negative. If you suffer from low self-esteem, your story may include these types of narratives: “I’m a failure,” “I’ll never be able to do that,” or “if only I were smarter or more attractive, I could be happy.” Dealing effectively with your inner critic doesn't happen overnight, but if you learn compassionate, evidence-based and actionable skills to handle all those stories, to relate to them skillfully, you can learn to accept yourself as you are and not as who you wish to be.Key TakeawaysIn this conversation, Dr. Joe Oliver, Ph.D. and I discussed:What is self-esteemHow to handle self-criticismDefusion: thanking your mindHow to notice when you’re entangled with your mindHow to notice and catch your playing-it-safe movesThe story behind his bookDealing with the monsters of the negative stories with dignity and respect(*) Show notes and resources of this episode(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Resilience is usually understood as the process and the outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences (American Psychological Association (APA)).In the information era, being exposed to all types of stressors is the norm and not the exception. We may struggle to learn how to deal with a world that moves fast, pressures us in many different directions, and a world in which hundreds of things are outside of our control.In this podcast episode, I discuss with Dennis Relojo-Howell the ways in which he became resilient and the different ways to nourish resilient practices.Dennis is a social entrepreneur, speaker, and resilience researcher, originally born in the Philippines. In 2014, he founded Psychreg, an award-winning media project dedicated to keeping everyone informed about psychology, mental health, and wellness.In this conversation, Dennis shared:- How he overcame growing up in a stressful environment- How he learned to pursue what matters in the midst of social stressors- How he uses creative writing as a resilient practice(*) Show notes and resources of this episode(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

60% of people dealing with depression are likely to be dealing with anxiety. If you're anxious, you are also likely to be depressed.In the case of fear-based struggles, it is much more common to struggle with different types of fears than a single one. So if you’re dealing with attacks, it’s also possible that you're dealing with chronic worry, or if you’re dealing with chronic worry, it’s also possible that you’re struggling with fears of public speaking. Traditional CBT focuses on treating a disorder such as social anxiety or depression. The problem with focusing on a single disorder is that the root cause of those struggles is not addressed.A core characteristic of ACT is to focus on teaching you psychological skills to increase your well-being, mental health, and the quality of your life. Instead of focusing on a diagnosis, ACT tackles the drivers of that particular diagnosis; therefore, ACT by nature is what is called a process-based model. In this conversation Joseph Ciarrochi, Ph.D. and I discuss:The different psychological processes that are part of any struggle we deal with.The relationship between psychological processes and evolution.The importance of variation, selection, retention and context as drivers of changesThe challenges of letting go of “all those stories about who we are.”The importance of paying attention to our physiological responses when getting stuck(*) Show notes and resources of this episode(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.