HERself

It is a well known fact that ⅔ of couples report decreases in their marital satisfaction in the first three years after having a child. Dr. Tracy Dalgleish is back on the show with us today to talk about what happens after those first three years. How do we reconnect with our partner? Dr. Tracy is a mom to two kids, a wife, and has over 15 years of practice as a clinical psychologist. She gives us advice on how we can find the passion in our relationship again when we are in the thick of raising littles. And it doesn’t have to be these big extravagant date nights. It’s more about the little things like a text in the middle of the day to let your partner know that you’re thinking about them.Do you feel like your relationship with your partner is transactional? Or when you do get a chance to sneak in a date night - do you only talk about your kids? Dr. Tracy explains how we can go from the mundane conversation of, “how was your day” to the four “C’s”; curiosity, compassion, connection, and collaboration.What we love about Dr. Tracy is that she shares her own, personal experiences with us as well. Which is one of the touch points in her upcoming book; I Didn’t Sign Up For This. In her book Dr. Tracy writes about the importance of sharing the stories of other couples, and her own, to help her clients relate and feel less alone. Episode 93; Tracy Dalgleish On All Things In-Laws - Part 1Episode 94; Tracy Dalgleish On All Things In-Laws - Part 2Follow Dr. Tracy on InstagramDr. Tracy’s WebsiteDr. Tracy’s Book; I Didn’t Sign Up For ThisSponsor: 10% off at BETTERHELP: http://betterhelp.com/herselfSponsor: 20% off at Vuori Clothing: https://vuoriclothing.com/herself Let’s connect!HERSELF SHOP: https://herself-podcast-favorites.myshopify.comHERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was produced and edited by @pivotballchange.

If you’re like us, we are celebrating Labor Day today! We are at the cabin, our kids are going back to school, and we’re getting together with friends. With everything we have going on we thought we would bring back one of our most listened to episodes with Nedra Tawwab all on boundaries.Nedra does such a good job of explaining boundaries, the need for them, and how to implement them into your life. Every time we listen to this episode we find ourselves saying “no” so much more often because it makes our “yeses” feel that much better!We read Nedra Tawwab’s book “Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself” as a group in our Patreon Book Club and in this episode, we dive into the details of her book and boundaries in general. We have answers to the family member who gives you the guilt trip, the friend who keeps testing the limits, and also with finding the power within yourself to make the changes with boundaries needed in the first place. Follow Needra on InstagramNeedra’s WebsiteNeedra’s Book; Set Boundaries, Find PeaceNeedra’s WorkbookSponsor: 10% off at BETTERHELP: http://betterhelp.com/herselfLet’s connect!HERSELF SHOP: https://herself-podcast-favorites.myshopify.comHERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was produced and edited by @pivotballchange.

The whole idea of this episode is that, as women, we have to ask for what we need. And this takes practice. We were raised by a generation of women who did not speak up when it came to getting their needs met which is leading us to a lot of resentment and burnout. But today we talk through a few situations that have happened in our lives recently where we have stood up and asked for what we need.We cover what getting our needs met from our partners looks like. We think they can read our minds and this just isn’t true. If you are feeling resentful towards your partner, you have an unmet need. We both share some things that work for us with Drew and Colin and hope they might help you as well.The other two areas we cover are work and kids. You have to set boundaries with both. Whether you work inside or outside of the home, setting boundaries around these areas of your life will help you get what you need. We’ve recently implemented some changes with the role our kids play inside of our homes that will hopefully help aid them in becoming a more collaborative part of the family unit.With all the things we cover in today’s episode, make sure you do what feels right for you. But also, in the moment, when something doesn’t feel right, speak up. We’re sensing a shift for our generation. We are starting to get our needs met. We are starting to ask for what we need. And that is a really great thing!Sponsor: AG1; Year’s Supply of Vitamin D and Five Free Travel Packs from AG1 with Your First Purchase: www.athleticgreens.com/herselfSponsor: Free Shipping at GOODR with code ‘HERSELF’: https://goodr.com/herselfSponsor: Levels; Visit levels.link/herself for your special offerLet’s connect!HERSELF SHOP: https://herself-podcast-favorites.myshopify.comHERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was produced and edited by @pivotballchange.

It always feels good to get advice from those who are two steps ahead of us in life. And that’s exactly what today’s episode is. We have the pleasure of interviewing Dr. John Van Epp, developer of evidence based relationship programs. He also has his PhD in counseling and psychology. Dr. John Van Epp has over 44 years of marriage experience himself and has raised two daughters who are also in healthy marriages. You might even recognize one of his daughters; Dr. Morgan Cutlip, who has been on the show twice before!Have you ever been at a point in your relationship where it feels more challenging than other times? Dr. John Van Epp explains that this is completely normal. He gives us evidence based examples of when relationships tend to struggle the most and walks us through how to get through those tough times. For many couples, the same argument keeps coming up time and time again. Dr. John Van Epp talks to us about the importance of not making it a you versus me thing but rather to dig deeper by trying to act like the other person’s defense attorney in order to come up with a resolution.We loved our conversation with Dr. John Van Epp because it felt like he was giving us the wise advice that we all need. He is at a much different stage in life than most of us and it was refreshing to hear his take on things. If you loved this episode we would love it if you left us a rating and/or review wherever you listen to podcasts.lovethinks.comMylovethinks.comDr. John Van Epp’s BooksRock Solid Marriage CourseRamseries.comFollow Dr. John Van Epp’s daughter; @drmorgancutlipSponsor: 10% off at BETTERHELP: http://betterhelp.com/herselfLet’s connect!HERSELF SHOP: https://herself-podcast-favorites.myshopify.comHERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was produced and edited by @pivotballchange.

It’s almost back to school time! Since we both have soon to be second graders, almost kindergarteners, and younger kiddos, we thought we would do an episode all about this big transition! This time around we feel a little more experienced and open up to you about how the process of sending our littles off to school has gone for us.In this episode, we start off by sharing our thoughts on the end of the summer pressure we put on ourselves as moms. We might feel like we haven’t done enough. But ask your kids what their favorite memory from this summer was. We think you might be surprised to hear that in their eyes, the little things are what matter most.We share what caught us off guard as first time parents of kindergarteners. We touch on how with school comes a whole new bag of unexpected responsibilities for not only your child but for you as the parent as well. If you’re part of a household that has two, full-time working parents, juggling this new school year schedule definitely comes with its challenges. We share how we’ve had to build a bigger village than just our own couplehoods in order to get the help that we need.With big transitions come big emotions. We want you to know that every feeling is valid. You and your little one have everything you need, you’re going to get through this, and don’t forget to have a little fun along the way!Sponsor: 10% off at BETTERHELP: http://betterhelp.com/herselfSponsor: Levels; Visit levels.link/herself for your special offerLet’s connect!HERSELF SHOP: https://herself-podcast-favorites.myshopify.comHERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was produced and edited by @pivotballchange.

This conversation is chock-full of great information that we are so glad we get to insert into our own lives right away! Melinda Moyer, author of How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes, is our guest today. She is also the mom of two, contributing editor to Scientific American Magazine, weekly contributor to The New York Times and a faculty member in the science, health, and environmental reporting program at NYU.We sometimes tend to think that talking about emotions too much with our kids may lead to them not being able to stand up for themselves or might make them too sensitive. Melinda explains why this is not true and how research has shown that strong soft skills, like emotional awareness, directly improve hard skills.As a parent, we’ve all witnessed the dreaded scenario when our own kid treats someone else in a way that we are not proud of. Melinda coaches us through what to do in this scenario and how we can move forward from that. She also explains that saying sorry might not be the best solution, and what to foster instead.We know so many of you are on the same page as us - you want to raise kind humans. In today’s conversation we take a deep dive into how to do just that. We hope you enjoy!Melinda’s Newsletterwww.melindawennermoyer.comMelinda’s InstagramMelinda’s FacebookHow to Raise Kids Who Aren’t AssholesSponsor: 20% off at Vuori Clothing: https://vuoriclothing.com/herself Sponsor: Free Shipping at GOODR with code ‘HERSELF’: https://goodr.com/herselfLet’s connect!HERSELF SHOP: https://herself-podcast-favorites.myshopify.comHERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was produced and edited by @pivotballchange.

We are thrilled to have Dr. Emily Jamea on the podcast today. She sits down with us to talk all things sex and intimacy! Emily is a sex therapist who is also the mom of two. She also has a book coming out next year and hosts her own podcast: Love & Libido. It was important for us to talk to someone about this topic who was a mom because we know Emily truly understands the ebbs and flows that come with intimacy in parenthood.Sex is often the first thing that gets dropped by couples when life feels so full or gets super stressful. Dr. Emily coaches us on how we can make sex a priority if it has been put on the back burner. Or maybe sex feels like it’s too far gone? She walks us through how to even bring it up in conversation when it can feel too awkward. There are a lot of things that can be mismatched between partners when it comes to sex; frequency, time of day, fantasies, etc. It can be hard to even get started when you are feeling so misaligned. Dr. Emily shares her evidence based facts on how you too, as a couple, can have great sex! Even after having kids!Follow Dr. Emily on InstagramFollow Dr. Emily on FacebookDr. Emily’s WebsiteSex After Baby WorkshopTop 10 Things I Personally Do To Maintain My Desire REELSponsor: 10% off at BETTERHELP: http://betterhelp.com/herselfSponsor: Year’s Supply of Vitamin D and Five Free Travel Packs from AG1 with Your First Purchase: www.athleticgreens.com/herselfSponsor: Levels; Visit levels.link/herself for your special offerLet’s connect!HERSELF SHOP: https://herself-podcast-favorites.myshopify.comHERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was produced and edited by @pivotballchange.

We hear it so often when we are about to become mother’s for the first time, “Oh, you’re not going to get any sleep!” But the problem is there’s not a plan in place for how the mom’s sleep is actually going to happen. And we think this is something that needs to be talked about more!Today we have Dr. Shelby Harris on the show. She is a mom, a clinical psychologist, and is board certified in behavioral sleep medicine by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. We are absolutely obsessed with this interview! We go off script so many times, in a good way, because we ask all the follow-up questions that all of us have.Dr. Shelby answers our questions around whether or not women really do need more sleep than men, how to enhance the quality of sleep when more sleep is just simply too hard to come by, and how caffeine really affects our sleep.Do you ever wonder if naps are good for you?  What about the term “revenge bedtime” that we are seeing all over the internet? Should we be taking sleep aids? And what to do on those nights that you just can’t fall asleep, no matter what. Dr. Shelby answers those questions and so many more!Follow Dr. Shelby on InstagramFollow Dr. Shelby on TikTokDr. Shelby’s WebsiteGet Your Copy of Dr. Shelby’s Book HERESponsor: 10% off at BETTERHELP: http://betterhelp.com/herselfLet’s connect!HERSELF SHOP: https://herself-podcast-favorites.myshopify.comHERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was produced and edited by @pivotballchange.

Dr. Morgan Cutlip is back on the show today. She first joined us for episode 162. Today we are focusing on how we take care of ourselves as mothers; how do we feel good inside motherhood? So many of her answers spoke directly to both of us.In her upcoming book, Love Your Kids Without Losing Yourself, Dr. Morgan explains three core concepts moms face. She chats with us about these concepts including what we can do to help ourselves with the conflict of sacrificing our own identities in motherhood. We also discuss the core concept of idealization of motherhood and how intense our standards are on ourselves as parents. Ever feel like your needs aren’t being met by your partner when it comes to sharing the load? Do you ask them for help but it never seems to go anywhere? Dr. Morgan shares actionable steps we can take when our own needs are not being met. She talks about how we can best manage all of our commitments and why that means we can’t be 100 percent committed to everything at once. If the HERself podcast has made an impact on your life we would love it if you could help us in return. Leave us a rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts and while you’re there also hit the follow or subscribe button. That way we will land in your inbox every single Monday!Sponsor: 20% off at Vuori Clothing: https://vuoriclothing.com/pages/pod_herself_fa22_HO22Sponsor: Free Shipping at GOODR with code ‘HERSELF’: https://goodr.com/herselfMeet Dr. Morgan CutlipPre-Order Dr. Morgan’s Book HERELet’s connect!HERSELF SHOP: https://herself-podcast-favorites.myshopify.comHERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was produced and edited by @pivotballchange.

If you’ve been wanting to minimize the clutter and simplify your life, we have a podcast episode that’s going to hit today! We are speaking with Denaye Barahona who has her Ph.D. in child development, is a licensed clinical social worker, and a mom of two. She shares her own journey when it comes to decluttering and simplifying her life. Denaye brings in the research side of things to help coach parents to adjust and eliminate the shame around feeling inadequate as a parent when you can’t say yes to everything.Struggle with all the “stuff” that comes along with raising kids? Denaye gives us her top three strategies for coping with clutter and simplifying our physical spaces. She explains how when the space around us is peaceful, it puts our minds at ease as well.Denaye’s Podcast: Simple Families The PodcastDenaye’s Website: www.simplefamilies.comSponsor: 10% off at BETTERHELP: http://betterhelp.com/herselfSponsor: $150 off at Ice Barrel with code ‘HERSELF’: www.icebarrel.com/herselfLet’s connect!HERSELF SHOP: https://herself-podcast-favorites.myshopify.comHERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcastHERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcastMEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskieferMEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreenThis episode was produced and edited by @pivotballchange.