Soul Salon with Ayandastood

if toxic, eurocentric beauty standards won’t let you rest: this episode is for you. i made a tiktok (620K views) about this idea in June that people resonated with, and so I decided to make an episode about it. let’s unpack how Beauty is a form of alienation from ourselves — and from each other. i hope you enjoy this episode, made with love. 🤎 ADVICE COLUMN: ☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? ⁠⁠⁠⁠submit a voicemail here⁠⁠⁠⁠. 📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ⁠⁠ASK Ayanda form⁠ here⁠. 🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube. Key quotes: “I believe there’s a world in which we see each other as Divine Beings that cannot be flattened into a toxic Eurocentric, colonial, elitist, ableist beauty standard that is always and already going to dehumanize us and remove us from the ability to experience ourselves and each other as Love.”  “Beauty dislocates you from being able to claim yourself in the present tense”  Time stamps (02:48): What is alienation? (05:07): Beauty as a distorted mirror (12:32): Beauty and Time  (15:48): Intra-community Beauty standards  (19:43): Mirrors and Love (25:50): The relentless pursuit and pressure of Beauty  (27:17): 3D vs 5D consciousness (32:01): Why I struggled with this episode Sending all my love to you today, sunshine.  Sources mentioned:  TikToks: On beauty as alienation by me Video 1 (https://www.tiktok.com/@ayandastood/video/7249132796822752518) and Video 2 (https://www.tiktok.com/@ayandastood/video/7249137595135872261) Essay: Estranged Labour, 1844 by Karl Marx (https://www.marxists.org/archive/marx/works/1844/manuscripts/labour.htm) Related episodes Industrialized vs. Spiritual Beauty (Idea via Jessica DeFino) Beautiful Lies Ft. Kalpana Mohanty The Ugliness of Beauty The Myth of Inclusive Beauty  Moving toward Ugliness Ft. Mia Mingus Read my hand-written essay on Breaking the Colonial Paradigm of Beauty Other key quotes: “We can be so much more if we dismantle the Beauty hierarchy”  “Beauty robs you of your sense of self in two ways: Number 1, it equates who you are with how you look according to a toxic, Eurocentric beauty standard. Your “ideal self” is someone who looks a certain way, rather than someone who is a certain Being — which you already are. Number 2: you are always relegated to being worse than your ideal future self, so then when are you ever allowed to exist and to claim yourself? As you grow older and age, people say you don’t look yourself. If you gain weight, people say you don’t look yourself. If you lose weight, you are meant to “feel more yourself than ever”. So then who are you? Surely you always look yourself? No, because Beauty is the alienation of the self from the self”  “A world with more radical love, rooted in an anti-colonial understanding of life, HAS TO dismantle the beauty hierarchy, and replace it with a deep love and awe for people as people, rather than value people based on their ability or inability to conform to toxic Eurocentric beauty standards”  “You are a multi-dimensional being who, through Beauty and other oppressive structures, is forced to conceive of yourself as a one-dimensional self”  “Beauty dislocates you from being able to claim yourself in the present tense”  “We will always be alienated from ourselves when we are made to feel unloveable because of a standard that has been imposed on us, one that deeply limits how we then come to understand, experience, and make sense of ourselves and each other”  Join the community:  my newsletter: ⁠⁠ayandastood.substack.com⁠⁠ please join me here! follow me at ⁠⁠⁠@ayandastood⁠⁠⁠ on TikTok and ⁠⁠⁠@ayandastood⁠⁠⁠ on IG every Sunday: Join ⁠⁠showing up together⁠⁠, a virtual working session every Sunday on Zoom from 9am-12pm EST.

many of us feel plagued by a deep-seated unworthiness ingrained in us by society and culture. at a fundamental level, we are convinced there is a lot wrong with us. part of this suffering comes from a society that reduces us to the level of its own distorted and violent view of reality, rooted in colonial and capitalist imaginations. in today's part 2 of our conversation on our infinite worth and power, I asked ChatGPT: why are we irreducible to any one given aspect of our lives? Here are my 7 favorite reasons it came up with, and my reflections on each. if you haven’t watched part 1, you can do so here. i hope you enjoy this episode, made with love. 🤎 ADVICE COLUMN: ☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠submit a voicemail here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. 📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ⁠⁠⁠ASK Ayanda form⁠ here⁠⁠. 🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube. Sending all my love to you today, sunshine.  Key quotes from episode:  "You are the universe experiencing itself" “We are multi-dimensional beings often forced to live a one-dimensional reality” Time stamps (00:00): Soul check-in  (11:48): Reason 1: Cosmic identity (19:50): Reason 2: Inherent divinity (23:57): Reason 3: Interconnected being (26:47): Reason 4: Multi-dimensionality (27:40): Reason 5: Capacity for growth (30:16): Reason 6: Unique experiences (33:52: Reason 7: Capacity for empathy (37:39): Summary of 7 lessons  Sources mentioned:  Episode: 32: you are irreducible by me (https://open.spotify.com/episode/0aARoL7F45K4tXoGBPtOxz?si=70d922c02375459b) Podcast: The Science of Setting & Achieving Goals by Huberman Lab Podcast (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1F7EEGPQwo) Article: The Buddhist philosophy of Anatta (https://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Anatta) Article: Nondualism: A brief history of a timeless concept by SAND (https://scienceandnonduality.com/article/nondualism-a-brief-history-of-a-timeless-concept/) Book: You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters by Kate Murphy (https://bookshop.org/p/books/you-re-not-listening-what-you-re-missing-and-why-it-matters-kate-murphy/6985911?ean=9781250779878) Book: You Are the Universe: Discovering Your Cosmic Self and Why It Matters by Deepak Chopra and Menas C. Kafatos (https://bookshop.org/p/books/you-are-the-universe-discovering-your-cosmic-self-and-why-it-matters-deepak-chopra/9794035?ean=9780307889157)  🎵 BACKGROUND MUSIC: ⁠Sleeping Vibrations⁠: ⁠Inner Abundance Sound Bath⁠  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPpJ1GOt4_c) Join the community:  my newsletter: ⁠⁠ayandastood.substack.com⁠⁠ please join me here! follow me at ⁠⁠⁠@ayandastood⁠⁠⁠ on TikTok and ⁠⁠⁠@ayandastood⁠⁠⁠ on IG

Unpacks why you can't be reduced to any one aspect of your being, society's influence on self-perception, and embracing love and interconnectedness. Discusses self-worth beyond societal standards, the dangers of quantification, and the complexity of human nature. Explores love, ego, and interconnected existence, promoting self-reflection and unity.

if you’ve ever felt that the same sensitivity that makes you drawn to creative work also makes you TERRIFIED of starting, finishing or sharing yours — this episode is for you. the irony of this episode is more than i can express to you — throughout this process i faced so much shame, fear and avoidance (particularly in the editing phase). i feel there’s so much more to say and so much i wish i had said differently. but i'm telling myself that my inner critic is a LIAR, and & i'm choosing to let it be. thank you today and always for being here on this journey with me. i hope that you receive my offering, and i hope my words take the shape of some of your wounds today.i hope you enjoy this episode, made with love <3  ADVICE COLUMN: ☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠submit a voicemail here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. 📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ⁠⁠⁠⁠ASK Ayanda form⁠ here⁠⁠⁠. 🎥: Video available on Spotify and YouTube. Sending all my love to you today, sunshine.  Key quotes from episode:  “Our sensitivity can be the water that hydrates and nourishes our creativity, or the water that drowns it.”  Sources mentioned:  Book: ⁠Sensitive: The Hidden Power of the Highly Sensitive Person in a Loud, Fast, Too-Much World⁠ by Jenn Granneman and Andre Sólo Poem: ⁠⁠Why Bother?⁠⁠ By Sean Thomas Dougherty Book: ⁠The Creative ACT: A way of Being⁠ by Rick Rubin Essay: ⁠The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action⁠ by Audre Lorde Join the community:  my newsletter: ⁠ayandastood.substack.com⁠ please join me here! Every Sunday: Join ⁠showing up together⁠, a virtual working session every Sunday on Zoom from 9am-12pm EST. Follow me at ⁠@ayandastood⁠ on TikTok and ⁠@ayandastood⁠ on IG

Congo is currently undergoing a silent genocide. We are lifting our voices for the people of DRC. This episode is my imperfect attempt to amplify the ongoing situation in Congo, and share the 5 greatest lessons I learned from a book I read in light of the moment we are in called Cobalt Red: How the Blood of the Congo Powers Our Lives by Siddharth Kara. In this episode, I also read an overview of what’s happening in the Northern Kivu regions where militia groups are massacring, exploiting, and sexually assaulting Congolese people. Free Congo, Free Sudan, Free Palestine, Free Haiti, and free all nations and peoples suffering under colonial, capitalist, supremacist, and military violence. 🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube. Sending all my love to you today, sunshine.  Key quote from episode:  “Cobalt mining is the slave farm perfected.” — Siddharth Kara, Cobalt Red Time stamps: (04:46): Situation overview (18:31): Documentary: Crisis In The Congo (22:26): Book: Cobalt Red & the 5 lessons I learned (25:35): Map of DRC conflicts (29:13): Lesson 1: Exploitative tech giants (43:30): Lesson 2: Human rights atrocities (56:33): Lesson 3: Colonial history (01:03:07): Lesson 4: Stolen future: The assassination of Patrice Lumumba (01:11:47): Lesson 5: Public Health Crisis (01:17:47): How we can help (donate, amplify, share) LEARN: Book: Cobalt Red: How the Blood of the Congo Powers Our Lives by Siddharth Kara Documentary: Crisis In The Congo: Uncovering The Truth by Friends of the Congo Talk: Cobalt Red with Siddharth Kara by Foreign Policy Association Book: King Leopold's Ghost: A Story of Greed, Terror, and Heroism in Colonial Africa by Adam Hochschild Instagram infographics: Follow @powerfulcountries [Source(s): UnitedNations, IPIS Research, International Rescue Committee, AfricanNews, Al Jazeera, Human Rights Watch, NY Times, Wikipedia, AP News, Relief Web, and The Independent] DONATE: Congolese-led organizations Friends of the Congo Panzi Foundation is renowned for its work in treating survivors of sexual violence. The foundation supports survivors of gender-based violence.  HEAL Africa Based in Goma, HEAL Africa runs a hospital and provides health care, training, and community development programs. UCOFEM (Union Congolaise des Femmes des Médias): An organization focused on women’s rights and gender equality. International organizations UNHCR International Rescue Committee Doctors without Borders

Discover the importance of prioritizing sustainability in your creative journey. Learn how small, consistent efforts can lead to personal growth while respecting your energy. Explore nature's wisdom on community and collective action. Find out how to embrace limitations and turn them into creative opportunities. Dive into nurturing goal-setting that encourages realistic promises to yourself. This conversation is a gentle reminder to pursue your dreams sustainably and connect with yourself and others meaningfully.

as a Black South African, my existence and freedom today are only possible because of the liberation efforts of anti-apartheid revolutionaries like Steve Biko, Winnie Mandela, Chris Hani, and Nelson Mandela. all of these people were labeled terrorists by the apartheid government and international community. like Israel, the USA and UK financially supported the South African apartheid government (until it was no longer popular to). after many attempts at non-violent protest, the ANC had to turn to armed struggle. they found that there was no other call for justice and freedom for Black South Africans that would be heeded. this is the case in all liberation struggles. the violence that was used to oppose the apartheid regime in South Africa can not be put on equal footing with the extreme violence of apartheid itself, and must always be viewed in its proper context: an attempt by an indigenous people to be free from the militarized and everyday terror of a white supremacist apartheid state. the same is true for Palestine, with respect to Zionism. ⁠decolonization is not a metaphor.⁠ when we see thorns of violence, and when they pierce our skin, we must look at them and consider: if i am against this thorn, i must acknowledge that this thorn has a stem, this stem has a root, and if i am not against the root of violence, suffering, and terror that gave this thorn life and made its existence not only possible but inevitable, I cannot in good conscience claim to be against violence at all.  colonialism and imperialism are the root of all structural violence; are the true terrors against humanity and this earth, so normalized and so protected that to condemn them is to be labeled with words only appropriate for the militarized forces of the world that create the most heinous, and organized forms of violence we as human beings have ever been made to experience and witness. this is an episode in solidarity with my Palestinian siblings, suffering under the weight of an oppressive regime. Free Palestine — free every colonized people from imperialism and colonialism, from bombs, raids, checkpoints, seiges, humiliation, terror, blockades, forced removals, occupations, prisons, slavery, and exploitation. re-indigenize this earth so that peace, community, and love can be returned to the center of human life on this precious planet. DONATE:  Medical Aid for Palestinians is on the ground in Gaza where they are working to stock hospitals with essential drugs,disposables and other healthcare supplies. Palestine Children’s Relief Fund is the primary humanitarian organization in Palestine. They deliver crucial, life-saving medical relief and humanitarian aid on the ground The World Food Program has been distributing fresh bread, canned food and ready-to-eat food to those who sought refuge in United Nations Relief and Works Agency shelters in Gaza Doctors Without Borders is providing support to hospitals and health facilities in Gaza UNRWA is providing medical support, trauma relief, and food assistance on the ground in Gaza LEARN:  Decolonize Palestine has an overview, myth database, and reading list. Support their Patreon here SOURCES MENTIONED: Video: Why Hamas Attacked Israel - And What's Next For Gaza by Dena Takruri for AJ+ Paper: Decolonization is not a metaphor by Eve Tuck and K. Wayne Poem: Refugee by Mahmoud Darwish Essay: My Palestinian Poem that “The New Yorker” Wouldn’t Publish by Fady Joudah Poem: Shades of Anger by Rafeef Ziadah Poem: HADEEL by Rafeef Ziadah Poem: The Shelling Ended by Najwan Darwish Poem: My Sixteen-Year-Old Mother by Ahlam Bsharat Documentary: Oceans of Injustice Essay: Poetry is Not a Luxury by Audre Lorde

welcome to ACT 2 of our convo on longing for a romantic relationship and what wisdom we can learn from this longing. In this episode, I read you a love poems, invite you to define romance for yourself, and share my pov on what romance means to me, and how it can be accessed through friendship. I am sending you love, today and always. 🤎 ADVICE COLUMN: ☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? ⁠⁠⁠⁠submit a voicemail here⁠⁠⁠⁠. 📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ⁠⁠ASK Ayanda form⁠ here⁠. 🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube. key quotes from episode:  “I dreamed of romantic love and I thought I knew the packaging it would arrive in. But the substance was most important — and it did not come packaged as a romantic lover, but as a best friend”  “I will love and be loved. Save and be saved a thousand times.” — Kate Baer “Value all deep bonds equally” — bell hooks “Is it really so that the one I love is everywhere?” — Rumi time stamps (01:49): welcome to Act 2!  (06:50): poem: ⁠Idea⁠⁠ by Kate Baer  (20:10): my definition of romance (28:27): conceptual barriers  (36:43): poem: ⁠Looking for love⁠⁠ by Rumi  ☎️ advice hotline: phone in with a question here sources mentioned:  Poem: Idea by Kate Baer Poem: Looking for love by Rumi Essay: The Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power by Audre Lorde Book: Communion: The Female Search for Love by bell hooks join the community:  my newsletter: ayandastood.substack.com please join me here! Every Sunday: Join showing up together, a virtual working session every Sunday on Zoom from 9am-12pm EST. Follow me at @ayandastood on TikTok and @ayandastood on IG

today we are talking about longing for romantic relationship and what wisdom we can derive from this longing. how can we integrate rather than suppress our romantic longing? what else can it be channeled into? what does our longing have to say to us, and are we listening? we'll be leaning on works like bell hooks' Communion and Audre Lorde's Uses of the Erotic. This is part 1 of a 2 part series. stay tuned for next episode where we will be discussing things like: romantic friendship, the media we consume, and reimagining where we can find love and desire in our lives. sending all my love to you today, sunshine.  ADVICE COLUMN: ☎️ seeking advice and want to PHONE IN with a question? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠submit a voicemail here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. 📩 OR WRITE IN an advice question anonymously at the ⁠⁠⁠ASK Ayanda form⁠ here⁠⁠. 🎥: Watch the video of this episode on Spotify or YouTube. key quotes from episode:  “imagine we had a society structured on the principle of love: teaching us how we can be loving and receive love; creating the conditions for all kinds of love to flourish and thrive" "longing is love. what else can we channel the love underlying our romantic longing into?" Time stamps (00:44): poll + leave me a voice note <3  (03:10): what is romantic longing?  (07:45): honor your longing (14:22): integrate your longing (23:25): self-love is the beginning (25:10): longing is love (33:00): love as a practice (36:39): how can you be more loving today? ☎️ advice hotline: voice note me here with a question or thoughts sources mentioned:  Book: Communion: The Female Search for Love by bell hooks Essay: The Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power by Audre Lorde Podcast episode: Redefining the Erotic by me on Spotify, Apple, YouTube Book: Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds by adrienne maree brown Quotes: Love Quotes from the Works of A. H. Almaas Tweet by @northstardoll join the community:  my newsletter: ayandastood.substack.com please join me here! Every Sunday: Join showing up together, a virtual working session every Sunday on Zoom from 9am-12pm EST. Follow me at @ayandastood on TikTok and @ayandastood on IG

The podcast explores the paradoxes of proving ourselves and the unmet needs behind it; emphasizing pursuing things irrespective of outcome and finding love regardless of 'success'; discussing self-denial, lack of genuine support, and losing ourselves in societal expectations; revealing the importance of authenticity, self-acceptance, and creative freedom.