The Oldest Profession Podcast

It’s a hot one outta the gate because Kaytlin (@kaytlinbailey) invites Wendi (@wendibird82) into her bedroom for a surprisingly unsexy reason! Then, after discussing their favorite, overpriced reusable containers, they dive into the sordid tale and love story of Harriet Hicks, one of the few documented cases of harassment and abuse of women by the government along with a gaggle of well-meaning but ill-informed feminists. Harriet worked as a prostitute during inception of the CDA (Contagious Diseases Act) in 19th century England. After an outbreak of syphillis in the military, the government decided against testing and treating the soldiers (it was proven to lower morale) and INSTEAD opted to randomly test prostitutes and pretty much any other women walking alone at night. Or during the day. Or early morning. Sometimes late afternoon. Once corralled and assaulted with a speculum, a woman would either be deemed clean enough to return to her life or condemned a diseased whore and locked away in solitary confinement for an undetermined amount of time. Once they finish screaming about the patriarchy, the ladies get into the pros and cons of consuming mercury AND using makeup products in lieu of tampons! They also share a couple of their harrowing hook-up tales AND expose a very modern law that penalized women for carrying condoms. PLUS, the girls read a fan email and debut their new segment “Dear Johns”. Prepare to cleanse yourself of any misconceptions you may have had about sex work… *** Brought to you by Velvet Swing. Velvet swing is a cannabis-enhanced lubricant known to enhance pleasure. THC dilates the smallest capillaries, which increases blood flow, heightens sensitivity, and can lead to longer, stronger orgasms. The product was meticulously researched by sexual icon Mistress Matisse and delivers a unique levels of sexual satisfaction for men, women & couples.  *** Produced by Mary Kelly Funky One Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The ladies are going waaaay back with this episode’s historic whore, the goddess of romantic love and fertility, Ishtar. She was worshipped through the bodies of church-sanctioned prostitutes who were trained in arts of tantra, healing AND they are rumored to have started the halloween tradition of the slutty nun costume. In addition to breaking down the tragic shift of women being treated like people to property, Kaytlin recalls the time she aided in a soldier’s reentry into polite society and Wendi waxes poetic about not one but TWO times she was publicly fingered! After making a handful of terrible Hogwarts puns, they discuss the persecution of a living goddess dedicated to tantric healing PLUS fun new ways to realign your butt chakra! *** Brought to you by Velvet Swing. Velvet swing is a cannabis-enhanced lubricant known to enhance pleasure. THC dilates the smallest capillaries, which increases blood flow, heightens sensitivity, and can lead to longer, stronger orgasms. The product was meticulously researched by sexual icon Mistress Matisse and delivers a unique levels of sexual satisfaction for men, women & couples.  *** Produced by Mary Kelly Funky One Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

One of most difficult aspects of engaging in sex work is dealing with the judgement of friends, family and the general public if and when you decide to come out. With our technological advances, it’s easier than ever for internet trolls to hide behind an anonymous persona and attack strangers through multiple platforms. It’s nightmarish and it’s been going on since the dawn of man. During the 16th Century in Venice, Italy, courtesan Veronica Franco endured public shaming that attempted to strip away her status as a prolific poet and author. The ladies weigh out pros and cons of coming out publicly AND stress the importance of fucking dudes that look the same and taking probiotics! They also celebrate a surprisingly public figure that has spoken openly about her past as dominatrix and phone sex operator as well as spoiling the fuck out of the poorly executed film Tulip Fever. *** Brought to you by Velvet Swing.  Velvet swing is a cannabis-enhanced lubricant known to enhance pleasure. THC dilates the smallest capillaries, which increases blood flow, heightens sensitivity, and can lead to longer, stronger orgasms. The product was meticulously researched by sexual icon Mistress Matisse and delivers a unique levels of sexual satisfaction for men, women & couples.  *** Produced by Mary Kelly Funky One Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

It’s the very FIRST episode of The Oldest Profession with comedians and unapologetic sex workers, Kaytlin Bailey and Wendi Starling and the ladies are coming out strong by putting the modern brothel system on blast AND recounting the life and times of historic bad bitch, Ah Toy. One of the first Chinese women to settle in the burgeoning city of San Francisco way back in 1849. In addition to recounting Ah Toy’s rise to becoming a famous prostitute and her battles against the increasingly racist judicial system, the ladies discuss using basketballs for sex AND the importance of supporting local pussy. Ah Toy may have struggled against the court system, but she miraculously survived the battle of the Chinese Tongs vs Japanese Spatulas. They also tackle the issue of deciphering the difference between trafficking victims and sex workers making an informed decision. *** Brought to you by Velvet Swing. Velvet swing is a cannabis-enhanced lubricant known to enhance pleasure. THC dilates the smallest capillaries, which increases blood flow, heightens sensitivity, and can lead to longer, stronger orgasms. The product was meticulously researched by sexual icon Mistress Matisse and delivers a unique levels of sexual satisfaction for men, women & couples.  *** Produced by Mary Kelly Cold Funk Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Kaytlin Bailey and Wendi Starling are mouthy comedians and unapologetic former sex workers. Instead of shamefully hiding their pasts as pussy peddlers, these two broads are enthusiastically examining and celebrating the storied history of the world’s oldest profession and the heroic whores that had a hand (or at least a pinky finger) in shaping society as we know it today.   Funky One Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/