The Oldest Profession Podcast

There seems to be a widely held belief that all sex workers privately hang their heads in shame the second they are out of the spotlight or off duty. While there are undoubtedly flashes of shame (as with most jobs), some people turn to sex work as a way to aggressively take control of their destiny, utilizing the platform to shine brightly and, in the case of Jenna Jameson, build a f*cking empire! Kaytlin (@kaytlinbailey) passes the teacher duties to Wendi (@wendibird82) this episode so buckle up. Besides fangirling over Jenna and her legendary rise to the top of the porn industry, the ladies also talk labia size, paying for your porn PLUS hot tips on how to find out if you're dating a potential stalker!!! Support the show on Patreon *** Brought to you by Velvet Swing. Velvet swing is a cannabis-enhanced lubricant known to enhance pleasure. THC dilates the smallest capillaries, which increases blood flow, heightens sensitivity, and can lead to longer, stronger orgasms. The product was meticulously researched by sexual icon Mistress Matisse and delivers a unique levels of sexual satisfaction for men, women & couples. *** EMAIL US: @ theoldestprofessionpodcast@gmail.com Twitter: @oldpropodcast Instagram: @oldpropodcast Support the show on Patreon FOLLOW KAYTLIN Twitter: @kaytlinbailey Instagram: @kaytlinbailey FOLLOW WENDI Twitter: @wendistarling Instagram: @wendibird82 *** Produced by Mary Kelly Funky One Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Love and Addiction. Guns and Whores. Turks and Caicos. Bat Heads and Garlic? This week's episode gets deep outta the gate THEN, Kaytlin (@kaytlinbailey) and Wendi (@wendibird82) dig into the story of infamous whore Mária Katalin Horony (aka Big-Nosed Kate) and her tumultuous relationship with notorious outlaw Doc Holiday. PLUS, the ladies spill their secret recipe for nabbing a luxury vacation AND dole out the details of the intense training regimen that transformed them into the emotional athletes they are today! Support the show on Patreon *** Brought to you by Velvet Swing. Velvet swing is a cannabis-enhanced lubricant known to enhance pleasure. THC dilates the smallest capillaries, which increases blood flow, heightens sensitivity, and can lead to longer, stronger orgasms. The product was meticulously researched by sexual icon Mistress Matisse and delivers a unique levels of sexual satisfaction for men, women & couples. *** EMAIL US: @ theoldestprofessionpodcast@gmail.com Twitter: @oldpropodcast Instagram: @oldpropodcast Support the show on Patreon FOLLOW KAYTLIN Twitter: @kaytlinbailey Instagram: @kaytlinbailey FOLLOW WENDI Twitter: @wendistarling Instagram: @wendibird82 *** Produced by Mary Kelly Funky One Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The ladies come outta the gate fired up about the treatment of chicks in entertainment (and life in general duh), then get to the task of addressing a listener's question regarding SA negotiations within the legal confines of the podcast. They detail the particulars of creating an aura of preciosity and increasing outwardly perceived value in any work environment. Wendi (@wendibird82) and Kaytlin (@kaytlinbailey) reveal exactly how their experiences working on cruise ships and as street fundraisers prepared them to successfully navigate the world of sugaring and trained them in the art of authentic inauthenticity. THEN, the girls dig into the history of Yoshiwara and the original Ho-topia, more respectfully referred to as 'The Floating City'. AND, how to teach your clients to understand and appreciate your value as a provide and put yourself in the position of the buyer by asking one simple question. PLUS, get an update on the NOLA Stippers' strike, get the inside scoop on the new facial recognition pussy and exactly how the Samurai's invented OCD. Support the show on Patreon *** EMAIL US: @ theoldestprofessionpodcast@gmail.com Twitter: @oldpropodcast Instagram: @oldpropodcast Support the show on Patreon FOLLOW KAYTLIN Twitter: @kaytlinbailey Instagram: @kaytlinbailey FOLLOW WENDI Twitter: @wendistarling Instagram: @wendibird82 *** Produced by Mary Kelly Funky One Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The ladies are back and fired up after battling sinus infections and side-eye from chicks at the 2018 Women's March. They also dig into a serious discussion of the difference between a shot of warm jizz to the back of the throat versus being finger fed snotty room temp cum THEN the girls dive into the history of the original "Dickipedia", Der Pranger, a German communist publication written by whores FOR whores in an attempt to establish fair treatment and laws benefiting sex workers and their patrons. Tragically, those ideals were never realized BUT, that doesn't keep Kaytlin (@kaytlinbailey) from fantasizing about a Hoetopia where she lives as baby-selling farmer and Wendi (@wendibird82) naps all day and wakes up to find envelopes of cash on the patio of their ranch. PLUS, how can sex workers avoid addiction when partying is part of the job? Why is it illegal to sell something that is legal to give away for free?? AND what the fuck is cake farting and why are we all not doing it every single day?!? SEE US LIVE!!! NYC Thursday February 15th 10pm Club Cumming 505 E 6th St New York, NY 10009 Buy Tickets *** Brought to you by Velvet Swing. Velvet swing is a cannabis-enhanced lubricant known to enhance pleasure. THC dilates the smallest capillaries, which increases blood flow, heightens sensitivity, and can lead to longer, stronger orgasms. The product was meticulously researched by sexual icon Mistress Matisse and delivers a unique levels of sexual satisfaction for men, women & couples. *** EMAIL US: @ theoldestprofessionpodcast@gmail.com Twitter: @oldpropodcast Instagram: @oldpropodcast Support the show on Patreon FOLLOW KAYTLIN Twitter: @kaytlinbailey Instagram: @kaytlinbailey FOLLOW WENDI Twitter: @wendistarling Instagram: @wendibird82 *** Produced by Mary Kelly Funky One Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

It seems like everyday there is new public allegation or harrowing tale of sexual assault, and that has got some people (mostly men) crying "Fascism!!" and calling for the heads of so-called 'feminazis'. There are, however, a few key differences in a society that prioritizes human equality while enforcing punishments for those that commit acts of sexual violence and a full-blown fascist regime. They ladies understand this can be a confusing issue for some men, so this episode is the first in a series of sex worker stories from Nazi Germany in an effort to educate, enlighten and (hopefully) entertain everyone! But before recounting the life of brothel owner turned part time spy, Kitty Salon, Kaytlin (@kaytlinbailey) and Wendi (@wendibird82) get into an intense conversation about the Grace/Aziz incident that ultimately ends in a brilliant business idea!! *** Brought to you by Velvet Swing. Velvet swing is a cannabis-enhanced lubricant known to enhance pleasure. THC dilates the smallest capillaries, which increases blood flow, heightens sensitivity, and can lead to longer, stronger orgasms. The product was meticulously researched by sexual icon Mistress Matisse and delivers a unique levels of sexual satisfaction for men, women & couples. *** EMAIL US: @ theoldestprofessionpodcast@gmail.com Twitter: @oldpropodcast Instagram: @oldpropodcast Support the show on Patreon FOLLOW KAYTLIN Twitter: @kaytlinbailey Instagram: @kaytlinbailey FOLLOW WENDI Twitter: @wendistarling Instagram: @wendibird82 *** Produced by Mary Kelly Funky One Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Sex workers are some of the baddest bitches around and in the 1950s, the US government took full advantage of that by forcefully enlisting handfuls of whores to aid them in administering LSD tests on their unsuspecting clients. Kaytlin (@kaytlinbailey) is justifiably appalled, while Wendi (@wendibird82) weighs the pros and cons of receiving double pay, government benefits and sipping on the sweet stash of CIA booze. The ladies take a hard turn and get into a heavy discussion about the homeless population and share the deeply personal stories that shaped the opinions they hold today. PLUS, hear why Kaytlin wants to live on top of a trash heap, how Wendi became a pool shark! They also stress the importance of focusing your energy, finding calm and freedom within yourself AND realizing the power you have to change your circumstances. Inspiring stuff. But, does anything even matter since robots are actively taking over the world… starting with this very podcast?!? *** Brought to you by Velvet Swing. Velvet swing is a cannabis-enhanced lubricant known to enhance pleasure. THC dilates the smallest capillaries, which increases blood flow, heightens sensitivity, and can lead to longer, stronger orgasms. The product was meticulously researched by sexual icon Mistress Matisse and delivers a unique levels of sexual satisfaction for men, women & couples. *** EMAIL US: @ theoldestprofessionpodcast@gmail.com Twitter: @oldpropodcast Instagram: @oldpropodcast FOLLOW KAYTLIN Twitter: @kaytlinbailey Instagram: @kaytlinbailey FOLLOW WENDI Twitter: @wendistarling Instagram: @wendibird82 *** Produced by Mary Kelly Funky One Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The girls are sobered up and exchange their drastically different holiday survival stories: Kaytlin (@kaytlinbailey) finds out the frightening details of exactly how her Father would murder the man she loves, while Wendi (@wendibird82) spills the salacious details of the Christmas Cub she seduced with the help of her sugar daddy! After catching up, the ladies dissect the history of courageously contrarian cunt, Yu Husuan-Chi. They trace Yu's journey from young, admired poet to kept second wife and ultimate destiny as a fiery, desired artist that sabotaged herself into a position of persecution by the very people that once worshipped her. Can a fiercely outspoken and rebellious person thrive in sex work, or are those wild spirits destined to self-sabotage, contributing to their own demise? When did getting wine drunk cease to be a status symbol at the nunnery?? PLUS, the girls clumsily plug their shit AND explain why they would rather be dry fisted than unexpectedly FaceTimed. *** Brought to you by Velvet Swing. Velvet swing is a cannabis-enhanced lubricant known to enhance pleasure. THC dilates the smallest capillaries, which increases blood flow, heightens sensitivity, and can lead to longer, stronger orgasms. The product was meticulously researched by sexual icon Mistress Matisse and delivers a unique levels of sexual satisfaction for men, women & couples. *** EMAIL US: @ theoldestprofessionpodcast@gmail.com Twitter: @oldpropodcast Instagram: @oldpropodcast FOLLOW KAYTLIN Twitter: @kaytlinbailey Instagram: @kaytlinbailey FOLLOW WENDI Twitter: @wendistarling Instagram: @wendibird82 *** Produced by Mary Kelly Funky One Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

After a long day, and even longer pours of whiskey, the girls get loosey goosey as they dive into the sordid life of infamous Hollywood madam, Heidi Fleiss! They recount her stratospheric rise and catastrophic fall that landed her in a dessert home surround by fowl creatures. Kaytlin (@kaytlinbailey) schools Wendi (@wendibird82) on the importance of sending the IRS more than an envelope full of drink tickets, then they detail all the ways in which Kinkos is actively keeping poor people below the poverty line. PLUS, tips on how to not get caught doing drugs in your parents' house AND how to tell if your masseuse is secretly in love with you. *** Brought to you by Velvet Swing. Velvet swing is a cannabis-enhanced lubricant known to enhance pleasure. THC dilates the smallest capillaries, which increases blood flow, heightens sensitivity, and can lead to longer, stronger orgasms. The product was meticulously researched by sexual icon Mistress Matisse and delivers a unique levels of sexual satisfaction for men, women & couples. *** EMAIL US: @ theoldestprofessionpodcast@gmail.com Twitter: @oldpropodcast Instagram: @oldpropodcast FOLLOW KAYTLIN Twitter: @kaytlinbailey Instagram: @kaytlinbailey FOLLOW WENDI Twitter: @wendistarling Instagram: @wendibird82 *** Produced by Mary Kelly Funky One Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Is this phrase "Ho, ho, ho!" just the joyful expression of a jolly fat man OR the outcry of the original Captain Save-a-Ho?!? This week, the ladies discuss the legend of Patron Saint Nicholas, his relationships with sex workers and the transformation to his most popular incarnation, Santa Claus! The girls also stress the importance of setting boundaries, the delicate issue of breaking ties with a client AND easy tips to help you look your very best in the event of a police department booking photo. Wendi (@wendibird82) explains why she has no interest in the identity of a secret benefactor THEN, Kaytlin (@kaytlinbailey) shares her harrowing survival tale after a week long Twitter and fast food binge. PLUS, is it more vital to grab a knife or your best mascara when answering the front door? Does it even matter when there might be aliens preparing an attack?!? *** Brought to you by Velvet Swing. Velvet swing is a cannabis-enhanced lubricant known to enhance pleasure. THC dilates the smallest capillaries, which increases blood flow, heightens sensitivity, and can lead to longer, stronger orgasms. The product was meticulously researched by sexual icon Mistress Matisse and delivers a unique levels of sexual satisfaction for men, women & couples. *** EMAIL US: @ theoldestprofessionpodcast@gmail.com Twitter: @oldpropodcast Instagram: @oldpropodcast FOLLOW KAYTLIN Twitter: @kaytlinbailey Instagram: @kaytlinbailey FOLLOW WENDI Twitter: @wendistarling Instagram: @wendibird82 *** Produced by Mary Kelly Funky One Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

The ladies come out of the gate swinging, taking aim at abusive men and starting their very own whisper network to help keep fellow sex workers safe in the sometimes treacherous world of the oldest profession. After Wendi (@wendibird82) suggests that they double check the lock on Kaytlin's (@kaytlinbailey) front door, they bring you the story of Wu Zeitan and outline her rise from an impoverished child to concubine of a powerful Emperor, and finally, to her ultimate destiny as a powerful Empress. THEN, they debut a new segment called Dear John where the girls read and respond to an email question from a client AND they spitball possible business ventures that will not land them behind bars! PLUS, has Wendi's ovulation cycle grown so intense that her building is being condemned? Have Kaytlin's antibiotics been replaced with MDMA?? And what the hell is an Equifax sauna?!? *** Brought to you by Velvet Swing. Velvet swing is a cannabis-enhanced lubricant known to enhance pleasure. THC dilates the smallest capillaries, which increases blood flow, heightens sensitivity, and can lead to longer, stronger orgasms. The product was meticulously researched by sexual icon Mistress Matisse and delivers a unique levels of sexual satisfaction for men, women & couples. *** EMAIL US: @ theoldestprofessionpodcast@gmail.com Twitter: @oldpropodcast Instagram: @oldpropodcast FOLLOW KAYTLIN Twitter: @kaytlinbailey Instagram: @kaytlinbailey FOLLOW WENDI Twitter: @wendistarling Instagram: @wendibird82 *** Produced by Mary Kelly Funky One Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/