Who are you? How do others view you? And why do we care so much about what others think of us, especially when they probably aren't spending as much time thinking about us as we think they are? When they do think about us, they see us through their own lens. It’s time to discover who you are. So, how exactly do you do that?Tony Overbay, LMFT, reads a heartfelt letter from a long-time listener, Jamie, who struggles with issues in her marriage and recognizes patterns from her childhood that affect how she interacts with her spouse and children. Tony explores the concept of the 'Looking Glass Self' by Charles Horton Cooley, discussing how our self-identity is shaped by our perceptions of how others view us. He uses examples from listeners and clients to explain how these early experiences impact our self-esteem and relationships. Tony introduces the modern-day concept of the 'reflected sense of self' from David Schnarch's theories of differentiation and provides practical advice on overcoming the need for external validation, forming healthier attachments, and developing a stable self-identity.Join Tony as he navigates these deep psychological concepts and offers insights into creating more emotionally secure and fulfilling connections.00:00 Listener's Heartfelt Letter02:31 Introduction to Episode 42403:10 Exploring the Concept of the Mirror03:29 Charles Horton Cooley and the Looking Glass Self09:00 Real-Life Examples of the Looking Glass Self16:16 Differentiation and Emotional Independence16:57 Balancing Connection and Individuality18:47 The Reflected Sense of Self27:00 Understanding Identity and Self-Worth27:55 The Role of External Validation29:25 Parent-Child Dynamics and Conditional Love30:53 Emotional Neglect and Its Impact33:21 Attachment Styles and Emotional Support40:13 The Concept of Shame and Guilt46:26 Overcoming Childhood Wounds49:35 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Tony Overbay, LMFT, and Marla Christensen, AMFT, APCC, dive deep into the complexities of betrayal trauma, focusing on the emotional and cognitive challenges faced by both partners. They explore how the betrayer's shame and fragmented memories often lead to staggered disclosures, which can further traumatize the betrayed partner. Over time, understanding the flawed nature of memory, the impact of shame, our desire to alleviate discomfort at almost any cost, and the human need for certainty is crucial. By developing emotional regulation, better communication skills, and a deeper understanding of oneself and each other, couples can approach the formal disclosure process with less pain, more intention and compassion, and potentially more realistic expectations. This discussion highlights the importance of patience, education, and therapeutic support in healing betrayal trauma.Tony shares the continuing evolution of his therapeutic approach for working with betrayal trauma, building off of his work with hundreds of couples over the past decade. Tony emphasizes the need to intentionally delay full disclosure until a strong foundation of emotional skills and mutual understanding is built. He explains how therapists must remain differentiated and confident in their methods to guide couples through this challenging process. By focusing on the concepts of memory, certainty, emotional immaturity, and effective communication, Tony and Marla offer valuable insights for anyone navigating the painful path of betrayal trauma.If you are interested in contacting or working with Marla, reach out to her at marlachristensencounseling@gmail.com00:00 Welcome Back to the Virtual Couch00:24 Understanding Dual Licensing01:50 The Licensing Exam Experience02:31 Introducing the Controversial Theory on Betrayal Trauma03:39 The Concept of Formal Disclosure06:34 Personal Experiences with Staggered Disclosure09:15 Confabulation and Memory Mechanisms15:55 Therapeutic Approaches to Betrayal Trauma19:03 Recognizing Signs of Discouragement20:48 The Two-Choice Dilemma22:46 Understanding Memory and Its Challenges27:10 The Quest for Certainty in Relationships34:39 The Concept of Lying and Its Implications36:19 Final Thoughts and ReflectionsTo learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchAvailable NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-coursePlease follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.comTony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Understanding the interplay between expectations and emotions can not only help you stay more grounded, but it can also significantly impact your relationships in a positive way. In this episode, Tony delves into the art of managing expectations and emotions to foster healthier connections with others.Tony explores the detrimental effects of unhealthy coping mechanisms such as pornography, food, or overworking and provides valuable resources for those struggling, including his Path Back recovery group and upcoming emotional maturity courses.He breaks down the intricate relationship between expectations and emotions, explaining how they influence our reactions and interactions. Tony emphasizes the importance of mindfulness, flexibility, and clear communication in navigating these dynamics.Through engaging narratives, Tony illustrates how expectations and emotions can either work in harmony or clash, offering practical advice on emotional regulation and psychological flexibility. Tune in to learn how to manage your inner experiences better and cultivate more fulfilling relationships.00:00 Introduction to the Virtual Couch Podcast00:36 Exploring the Path Back Recovery Group01:02 The Complex Dynamics of Shame and Relationships01:44 Navigating Emotional Needs and Relationship Dynamics04:24 Understanding Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms08:09 The Importance of Emotional Maturity and Tools for Growth09:42 Expectations vs. Emotions: A Deep Dive23:17 Navigating Discomfort and Unmet Expectations23:48 The Healing Dialogue: Emotions Meet Expectations25:08 Personal Journey: From Tech to Therapy27:39 Embracing Discomfort for Growth35:39 Managing Expectations to Foster Emotional Well-being38:17 The Power of Acceptance and Psychological Flexibility41:16 Emotional Regulation: Techniques and Tools43:50 Concluding Thoughts on Growth and Self-CompassionTo learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchAvailable NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-coursePlease follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.comTony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony Overbay, LMFT, discusses the critical role of differentiation in personal development and relationship growth. Sharing the story of a couple, Lisa and Mike, Tony illustrates how unresolved childhood dynamics can lead to emotional stagnation and superficial interactions in adulthood. He delves into the concepts of differentiation and emotional maturity, drawing on the theories of psychologists Murray Bowen and David Schnarch to explain how individuals can maintain their sense of self while fostering deep, meaningful connections with others. Tony offers actionable insights on embracing individuality, managing emotional reactivity, and the importance of self-soothing for achieving a balanced and fulfilling relationship dynamic.00:00 Welcome to the Virtual Couch: Introductions and Announcements01:20 Unpacking Emotional Baggage: Lisa and Mike's Story04:27 The Dynamics of Disagreements: Analyzing Conflict Patterns07:40 Embracing Discomfort for Growth: A Therapeutic Perspective12:59 Understanding Differentiation: A Deep Dive into Emotional Maturity18:52 From Bowen to Schnarch: Exploring Theories of Differentiation22:20 Applying Differentiation: Real-Life Implications and Strategies24:20 Breaking Familial Patterns and Emotional Systems25:00 The Impact of Parental Emotions on Children27:05 Exploring Schnarch's Concepts on Differentiation28:19 Applying Differentiation in Relationships32:24 The Importance of Emotional Maturity and Self-Work35:24 Navigating Relationship Dynamics and Individual Growth39:47 Embracing Differentiation for a Fulfilling Relationship43:22 Practical Takeaways for Personal and Relationship GrowthTo learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchAvailable NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-coursePlease follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony shares his recent experiences with change, moving, and personal growth. Tony discusses the unexpected lessons learned from moving out of his home after 25 years, selling items on Facebook Marketplace, dealing with moving trucks, and the psychology of facing unknown challenges. He reflects on how accepting and navigating through the discomfort of change has provided opportunities for growth and understanding. Tony emphasizes the importance of mindfulness, making decisions amidst uncertainty, and the value of experiencing life's twists and turns. This episode encourages listeners to embrace change as a pathway to self-discovery and personal development. Tony references the article "Your Brain Thinks Change is a Good as Rest" by E. Paul Zehr, Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/black-belt-brain/202210/your-brain-thinks-change-is-as-good-as-rest00:00 Welcome to the Virtual Couch: A Dive into Change and Personal Growth00:39 The Therapist's Couch: More Than Just Furniture01:59 Embracing Change: Personal Stories and Professional Insights02:20 The Move to Arizona: A Catalyst for Reflection and Growth06:41 Understanding Fatigue: Physical and Mental Aspects22:47 The Power of Discomfort in Personal Growth25:03 Procrastination and the Promise of Change25:24 Exploring Fatigue: Internal vs. External Causes27:16 The Personal Journey of Embracing Change28:06 The Power of Meditation and Mindfulness30:19 Moving Adventures: Decluttering and Preparing34:26 Navigating the Real Estate and Moving Process39:14 Learning from the Unexpected: Sales and Acceptance46:53 Reflections on Growth, Decisions, and Mental HealthTo learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchAvailable NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-coursePlease follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

In the 7th installment of the "Death by a Thousand Cuts" series, Tony Overbay, LMFT, presents a compelling crossover episode between The Virtual Couch and Waking Up to Narcissism. This episode delves into the complex journey of healing and empowerment for individuals who have survived relationships characterized by emotional immaturity, narcissism, and controlling behavior. Through a blend of personal narratives and expert analysis, Tony shares the nuanced and significant harm inflicted by the 'Death by a Thousand Cuts' phenomenon—a metaphor highlighting the cumulative effect of repeated emotional injuries from narcissistic and emotionally immature partners.Addressing key issues such as emotional abuse, coercive control, financial abuse, sexual abuse within the relationship, manipulation, boundaries vs. ultimatums, and the critical need for self-validation, Tony provides listeners with practical coping strategies. These strategies underscore the importance of self-reflection, seeking professional guidance, and engaging with supportive communities as vital steps in shedding the lingering effects of controlling relationships.This episode aims to reassure listeners that they are not isolated in their experiences of unhealthy relationships. It also serves as a resource for those seeking to support family members entangled in abusive dynamics, offering insight into effective ways to provide meaningful support beyond mere words of encouragement. Tony seeks to empower listeners to recognize their inherent worth and foster healthy, mature connections by advocating for relationships grounded in respect and empathy.00:00 Welcome to the Crossover Episode: Unpacking Narcissism and Emotional Immaturity00:37 Why Today's Episode Matters: Exploring 'Death by a Thousand Cuts'01:58 Moving Week and Virtual Client Opportunities03:58 Understanding Emotional Cuts and Their Impact05:58 The Challenge of Seeking Validation and Understanding09:24 Creating Supportive Spaces for Emotional Growth12:36 Diving into Real-Life Stories of Emotional Immaturity23:49 The Frustrating Dynamics of Emotional Immaturity in Relationships33:57 Navigating the Complexities of Emotional Immaturity and Narcissism34:54 The Emotional Toll of Unvalidated Feelings36:07 Navigating Emotional Safety in Relationships36:19 The Subtle Manipulations of Emotional Abuse37:00 Parenting Amidst Emotional Manipulation38:29 Understanding the Impact of Emotional Abuse Through Stories46:33 The Role of Pornography in Emotionally Immature Relationships01:00:43 Financial Control and Emotional Abuse01:07:45 Finding Healing and Empowerment

Tony navigates the intricate balance that defines successful partnerships: the harmony between deep emotional connections with your partner and the pursuit of individual growth. Drawing from the principles of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Crucible Approach, with an emphasis on self-differentiation, he shares his own growth experience as a couples therapist over the past 15 years as he has learned how these two aspects—often seen as opposing forces—can complement and enhance each other within a relationship and provide therapists with a more robust toolkit to use when working with couples with a variety of attachment styles, and backgrounds. Tony explains that facilitating relationship growth is akin to performing a delicate balancing act, where maintaining a close bond with your partner and fostering personal development are both crucial. EFT offers insights into creating a nurturing and supportive environment, encouraging couples to open up and strengthen their emotional ties. On the other hand, the Crucible Approach emphasizes the importance of individuality and self-growth, urging partners to preserve their unique identities even as they grow closer together. Tony shares practical advice and strategies for couples at any stage of their relationship, aiming to make the concepts of emotional connection and personal growth accessible and actionable. He shares how to cultivate a relationship that embraces unity and individual strength, leading to a more dynamic, supportive, and fulfilling partnership.00:00 Welcome and Introduction: The Journey of a Therapist00:39 Diving Into Emotional Architects: A New Approach to Men's Emotional Growth01:53 Exploring Healthy vs. Unhealthy Egos in Relationships05:56 The Evolution of Couples Therapy: From No Secrets Policy to Emotional Honesty12:19 Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) vs. The Crucible Approach: A Therapist's Perspective22:09 Blending EFT and The Crucible Approach: A New Paradigm in Couples Therapy30:57 Attachment Theory and EFT: Understanding Relationship Dynamics33:05 Exploring Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples40:19 Deep Dive into Crucible Approach: A New Perspective on Therapy40:51 Differentiation and Personal Growth: A Crucial Element in Relationships44:38 The Crucible Method: Transforming Sexual Intimacy and Personal Growth47:08 Facing Conflict Head-On: The Crucible Approach to Relationship Challenges49:54 Applying Differentiation to EFT Concepts: A Comparative Analysis01:08:48 Conclusion: Embracing Growth and Self-Discovery in RelationshipsTo learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchAvailable NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-coursePlease follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony Overbay, LMFT, welcomes Kurt Francom, the executive director and podcast host of Leading Saints ([Leading Saints](https://www.leadingsaints.org)). Kurt's first book, "Is God Disappointed in Me: Removing Shame From the Gospel of Grace," is available on Amazon ([Amazon Link](https://amzn.to/49BYUCk)). In a candid admission, Tony shares his emotionally immature reaction upon discovering Kurt's book through a third party, revealing the concocted narratives in his head about their relationship, with Kurt unknowingly cast as the villain. The revelation of Tony's oversight in missing a crucial recording sent by Kurt months earlier brings to light the miscommunication that unwittingly altered their friendship dynamic. Peace is restored Through their conversation, and their bond of best friendship is reaffirmed. The discussion then shifts to Kurt's book, delving into the intricate concepts of ego and identity. They explore the notion of a healthy ego, the pervasive quest for validation, and how living for an identity differs fundamentally from living from an identity that has been validated by divine grace.Kurt highlights the identity paradox, suggesting that receiving grace allows us to extend it more freely. He references Carl Rogers, stating, "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can begin to change." This acceptance is seen not as a form of apathy but as a mindful acknowledgment that paves the way for genuine personal transformation. Kurt deepens the conversation by asserting that recognizing our inherent validation from God enables us to cultivate a meaningful relationship with Him. This evolution occurs not because of our deeds but due to our intrinsic value and identity.00:00 Introduction and Casual Banter00:33 Discussing Kurt Francom's New Book01:34 Exploring the Concept of Acceptance02:20 Reflecting on Personal Experiences and Challenges03:26 The Importance of Validation and Acceptance04:59 Unpacking the Imposter Syndrome06:25 The Role of Repentance in Personal Growth08:13 Understanding the Impact of Misunderstanding God10:00 The Power of Acceptance in Personal Transformation12:06 The Journey of Repentance and Turning to God13:42 Conclusion: The Power of Acceptance and Repentance22:10 Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms and Their Impact22:42 The Role of Validation in Our Lives23:37 The Struggle for Acceptance and Validation24:42 The Power of God's Love and Validation25:31 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Differentiation26:48 The Importance of Embracing Change and Growth28:03 The Role of Ego in Our Personal Development28:38 The Power of Grace and Forgiveness29:40 The Struggle with Validation and Recognition30:07 The Journey of Writing a Book31:21 The Power of Curiosity and Openness in Learning32:20 The Role of Identity in Our Spiritual Journey34:16 The Importance of Acceptance and Self-Respect35:35 The Power of Differentiation and Self-Awareness37:46 The Struggle with Defensive Narcissism39:42 The Power of Acceptance and Self-Validation41:44 The Journey of Self-Reflection and Growth43:14 The Power of Humility and Self-Acceptance44:06 The Journey of Writing and Publishing a Book45:17 The Power of Authenticity and Self-Expression45:55 The Importance of Embracing Change and Uncertainty46:46 The Power of Self-Acceptance and Self-LoveTo learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchAvailable NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-coursePlease follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Marla Christensen, AMFT, APCC, joins Tony on the Virtual Couch to discuss dealing with grief and loss. Marla is a new associate working with Tony. Marla received her master's degree in clinical psychology from Pepperdine University. She shares her passion for her work in mental health counseling and touches on her own personal experience about shifting from being a stay-at-home mom to a counselor following a divorce. Marla discusses her approach to dealing with grief and loss in clients, which she shares as an inescapable human experience. She elaborates on the stages of grief as proposed by Elizabeth Kubler Ross, shedding light on David Kessler’s addition of the sixth stage, 'reconstruction/rebuilding'. Emphasizing the subjectivity of the grieving process, Marla recommends being compassionate, patient, and welcoming toward one's emotions throughout. She also talks about the role of religion and spirituality in helping individuals rebound quickly from grief due to the sense of community they provide.Marla and her husband, Nate Christensen, APCC, host the podcast “Working Change,” which you can find wherever you listen to podcasts or visit https://blubrry.com/workingchange. Marla has a few openings and can be reached directly at marlachristensencounseling@gmail.com, or you can reach out to Tony at contact@tonyoverbay.com00:00 Introduction and Welcoming Marla00:22 Getting to Know Marla: Her Journey into Therapy01:20 Marla's Early Years and Path to Therapy02:20 Marla's Podcast and Mental Health Advocacy03:08 Marla's Experience with Grief and Loss04:11 The Impact of Life Experience on Therapy05:58 Understanding Grief and Loss08:50 The Stages of Grief27:42 The Role of Religion and Spirituality in Grief30:08 Final Thoughts and Advice on Navigating GriefTo learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchAvailable NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-coursePlease follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ

Tony Overbay, LMFT, offers an in-depth exploration of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and The Nurtured Heart Approach (NHA) to provide a fresh perspective on mindful parenting. The discussion centers around the transformative power of NHA's "Stand 1," which advocates for focusing energy on celebrating children's successes rather than engaging in negative behavior. Additionally, Tony explains the ACT principle of "acceptance," emphasizing the importance of embracing our present experiences without judgment to cultivate a compassionate and supportive family environment.The episode also delves into the Buddhist "First and Second Darts" metaphor, teaching parents how to mitigate distress by managing their reactions to challenging parenting situations. Through practical examples and strategies, Tony demonstrates how these principles can be applied to everyday challenges, such as defiance and fostering positive behaviors. By focusing on these core concepts, the episode aims to empower parents with actionable advice to strengthen their connections with their children, highlighting the critical role of presence and engagement in the parenting journey.00:00 Introduction: A Letter from a Fan00:37 The Journey of Parenting: Realizations and Challenges02:41 The Power of Acceptance in Parenting03:06 Welcome to the Virtual Couch: Episode 41503:27 The Overwhelm of Parenting: A Therapist's Perspective05:19 The Nurtured Heart Approach: A Parenting Model05:40 The Impact of Social Media on Parenting12:03 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in Parenting15:52 Practical Scenarios: Applying the Nurtured Heart Approach and ACT22:11 Embracing the Chaos: Nurtured Heart Approach and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy22:49 Understanding the Concept of First and Second Dart Reactions23:25 Applying the First and Second Dart Concept in Parenting27:12 The Power of Mindfulness and Acceptance in Parenting30:59 The Brain's Desire for Certainty and Avoidance of Discomfort37:01 Embracing Uncertainty and Accepting Experiences38:06 The Power of Living in the Present Moment38:48 Final Thoughts and TakeawaysAvailable NOW: Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" is only $25 . https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-courseTo learn more about Tony's upcoming re-release of the Magnetic Marriage course, his Pathback Recovery course, and more, sign up for his newsletter through the link at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouchPlease follow Tony’s newest Instagram account for the Waking Up to Narcissism podcast https://www.instagram.com/wutnpod/ as well as Tony’s account https://www.instagram.com/tonyoverbay_lmft/ Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ