Playing With Fire

There is no one way for relationships to work. What does "work" even mean, really? That is up to the people in the relationship. In this episode, we explore some of the common labels people use to describe their open relationships and what we have decided to use in ours. Of course, labels will only take you so far before you need to dive into the actual meaning behind your words and this can get messy sometimes. The idea of designing a relationship is at the heart of our life. This episode is all about how we have created our open relationship- one that works for us and flexes as we change and grow.  Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube Follow Joli on Instagram

In the second part of a mini-series about shame, Joli shares some vulnerability as we go into her feelings about the rocky early years of our relationship, and the final years of our respective first marriages. That challenging time left its marks, and Joli talks about her experiences with couple’s privilege, secrecy (no surprise, since we’re still talking about shame), and how those experiences impact her now. It’s uncommon to see inside another relationship, so listen in for a tiny glimpse into Joli and Ken’s as it is right now. Relationships change, and the people in them grow, and Joli talks about how she handles the shame and other feelings that come out of that time, in hopes that others might find some support and insight. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube If you’d like to find out more about Joli’s work head to jolihamilton.com

In the first of a mini-series about shame, we aren’t holding back! The feeling of shame has kept parts of Ken hidden from Joli for years even though we’ve been consciously working on it. This isn’t surprising because shame encourages secret-keeping. Confidence has been masking shame in our home even with a careful eye towards it. Shame has been showing up in unexpected spots and when it does we often feel disconnected right when we most want to feel seen and loved. No holds barred in this episode, sexual shame has been hiding too long, so listen in if you’re someone who has ever struggled with shame or the secrets it might encourage. Ken brought his vulnerability right to the forefront this week, hoping to share a story that will help others. Book mentioned in this episode: Dark Eros by Thomas Moore http://bit.ly/3ppVcns  If you need some shame-work musical inspiration listen to Shame by The Avett Brothers If you’d like to find out more about Joli’s work head to jolihamilton.com Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

Exploring the thrill of sexual fantasies, the discussion dives into the challenges of sharing desires with partners. Vulnerability and jealousy take center stage, emphasizing the need for open communication in non-monogamous relationships. Listeners learn how to navigate privacy versus secrecy, while personal journeys highlight the importance of education in embracing sexuality. Trust and safe communication are essential for fostering a judgment-free space, transforming fantasy sharing into a fulfilling aspect of intimacy.

Joli studied consensual non-monogamies as a research psychologist but it is also an important part of our personal relationship design. In this episode, we are talking about what it takes to go from assuming you *know the rules* to creating relationship agreements that are explicit and able to grow with you as your relationship changes.  Consensual non-monogamy isn't the right fit for everyone, monogamy is beautiful and a great choice for lots of people. But, polyamory has been making a lot of headlines and popping up in storylines more and more. If you are curious about what it looks like from the inside, have a listen. We've found that no matter what relationship style you choose, we can all learn from each other. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube To buy Project Relationship the book, head here Learn more about working with Joli or to listen to her TedX talk Follow Joli on Instagram

Joli studied consensual non-monogamies as a research psychologist but it is also an important part of our personal relationship design. We are talking about what intimacy means when you no longer have the rules of monogamy to guide you. How vulnerable is too vulnerable with someone outside your marriage? What does it feel like to know that my partner is happy without me sometimes? It's all complicated, but not as impossible as it might seem.  Consensual non-monogamy isn't the right fit for everyone, monogamy is beautiful and a great choice for lots of people. But, polyamory has been making a lot of headlines and popping up in storylines more and more. If you are curious about what it looks like from the inside, have a listen. We've found that no matter what relationship style you choose, we can all learn from each other. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube Follow Joli on Instagram Buy Project Relationship the book Learn more about working with Joli or to listen to her TedX talk

To kick off season 2 we are responding to a request from a listener who asked "Why are you polyamorous?" Joli studied consensual non-monogamies as a research psychologist but it is also an important part of our personal relationship design. We are talking about what polyamory is, why it works for us, and how it feels to put your heart in someone's hand without the rules of monogamy. Consensual non-monogamy isn't the right fit for everyone, monogamy is beautiful and a great choice for lots of people. But, polyamory has been making a lot of headlines and popping up in storylines more and more. If you are curious about what it looks like from the inside, have a listen. We've found that no matter what relationship style you choose, we can all learn from each other. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube Follow Joli on Instagram Buy Project Relationship the book Learn more about working with Joli and to listen to her TedX talk

In the wrap-up for season 1, Joli and Ken are sharing what it feels like to share their relationship ups and downs with the world. The biggest lessons are often scary to talk about, even years later. Admitting where we hurt each other or when we've been out of integrity with our values is vulnerable but getting real is key to continually deepening connection with each other and with the larger world. Season 2 is coming soon- if you have a topic or question, we invite you to share them, grab the email address in the show. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

Episode 12 is about failure and what happens when we judge our relationship success only by how long it lasts. Endings and transitions can be extremely challenging, especially when we imagine that an ending feels like it defines us. In this episode, Joli and Ken talk about three things they do to get through the tough endings and big transitions with a little more grace and a ton more insight.  Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

In episode 11 we are talking about money and how hard it can be to say what needs to be said when we share finances and responsibility for a household. Going from terrified and even dishonest money habits to open, honest, connected conversations about money isn't easy because so many of us have money complexes- hangups that leave us acting in wildly unhelpful ways. Making money talk-aboutable is key to making relationship teamwork a reality instead of a pipedream. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube