Playing With Fire

Does the thought of your partner being with someone else make you...hot as hell?  You aren't alone.  Though jealousy is often thought of as the LAST thing anyone would want in their life, that's not the only way it goes. In Joli's phenomenological research, 30% of participants reported sexual, juicy responses when they felt jealous. Turning the standard jealousy narrative on its head is a delicious opportunity- and in this very personal episode, we're talking about how working with jealousy differently over the past two decades has led to some transformative and HOT times. It really is possible to get off on the complex feeling of jealousy- come hear how we've been working with it to do just that. Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com

Seeking open relationship bliss?  Great. Us too. And all my clients. You're not alone. Every week I hear from at least a few people who want to know if they should try to open right from the start or whether they need to solidify their couplehood first. Everyone seems to have a strong opinion, and I hear a ton of FEAR that if you get this *wrong*, you're relationship is going to be so.much.harder. This episode hits a lot of non-monogamy hot-buttons, so get ready to consider things from multiple angles! Are you ready to have an unconventional love? Take this 2 minute quiz and see!

Creating the relationship you really want begins with the ENVISIONING process. Plus, it's really easy to find yourself in relationships that don't fit right (but do feel familiar) unless you actively participate in the relationship envisioning process.  This conversation is like being a fly on the wall of our relationship- Ken's sharing how he wound up in a marriage that was completely the opposite of what his soul truly longed for, and Joli's got some tips for how to get started in your own envisioning process. Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com

I (Joli) love romantic friendships. Ones that have a deeply intimate quality and the capacity to have honest conversations about boundaries and relationship agreements. Ones that feel soft, warm, and connected. But romantic friendships scare some people- it makes sense because they are one way we can live  beyond the boxes of patriarchal convention. Developing romantic friendships takes intentionality and creativity... and it's totally worth it! There are two big takeaways at the end that will get you started breaking the norms and building the friendships you truly want! Are you ready to have an unconventional love? Take this 2 minute quiz and see!

This week we are sharing our most popular episode ever- this one is a not-to-miss! Relationship agreements might sound dry but the process of co-creating relationship bliss is NOT dry in the least.  This episode is part explanation, part demonstration of how we review and negotiate the living document that is our relationship agreement. We found a hole in one of ours while recording that we need to address--No relationship escapes being a work in progress, including ours. Are you ready to open up happily? Take this 2 minute quiz and see!

Relationships are where we seek security, so making changes can feel particularly scary or overwhelming.  Don't let this fear stop you from creating the custom-built relationship you really want!   This episode is all about how you can shift your experience of opening up from fearful to hopeful starting today. How ready are you--right now-- to open your marriage? Take this 2 minute quiz and see!

"Why are you doing it like that?"  Whether your criticism is about something as mundane as loading the dishwasher or as complex as managing new relationship energy, poorly timed, unsolicited criticism doesn't actually get us the connection we're longing for.  Dr. Jessica Higgins joins us this week to offer clarity on what criticism is really telling us and what we can do to shift our feedback patterns.  Watch this episode on YouTube Did you love Dr. Jessica's style? Check out her fantastic Empowered Relationships Podcast ! Dr. Jessica Higgins holds two graduate degrees in psychology, two coaching certifications, and over 20 years of experience helping clients achieve successful results. As the host of the Empowered Relationship Podcast, she helps people navigate the terrain of long-lasting intimacy more skillfully and mindfully. Through her coaching and online course, clients transform pain into love and connection. Listeners can download Dr. Jessica’s free guide “Is Criticism Tearing Your Relationship Apart?” here  Find out more about Jessica's work here https://drjessicahiggins.com/ How ready are you--right now-- to open your marriage? Take this 2 minute quiz and see!

Want a more expansive, custom-designed life? You need to take some risks and make changes. BUT--before you go committing to permanent change, learn exactly how to use one of Joli's most-trusted tools for minimizing risk while making exciting changes in your relationships.  Watch this episode on YouTube How ready are you--right now-- to open your marriage? Take this 2 minute quiz and see!

Relationships get stronger and healthier when you talk about them with your partners. For that you're going to need shared language and meaning, Learning the jargon of relationship styles is so helpful! So, here's how we think about relationship labels---open relationship, kitchen table polyamory, relationship anarchy, and lots more. As mentioned in the episode, for more information on relationship anarchy, read Andie Nordgren’s Relationship Anarchy Manifesto Watch this episode on YouTube Are you ready to have an unconventional love? Take this 2 minute quiz and see!

Do you wish desire just magically ramped up without any effort? It certainly does sometimes, but most of the time desire flows better because we actively FUEL desire. This week we're talking about the things that block your access to desire and what to do about those blocks.  Desire does not have to be elusive, so if you struggle here rest assured it is 100% normal to need to learn the skills of building desire in yourself and in your relationships. Watch this episode on YouTube Link to the research on responsive desire by Bancroft & Janssen  See also: Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski Are you ready to have an unconventional love? Take this 2 minute quiz and see!