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Playing With Fire

Latest episodes

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Jul 17, 2022 • 38min

74 Why is my partner so weird? Wait, why am I so weird?

How do you experience your differences with your partner? Do you feel discomfort, or conflict, or maybe you feel isolated and abandoned? Do you work to mask those differences by trying to meld together, or by acting like someone you're not? Let's talk about how our experience of those differences can help us grow in ourselves and in our relationships Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com You can see the transcript on Joli's blog, a word from Joli Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube
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Jul 10, 2022 • 35min

73 How to start building a designer relationship

Want designer relationships? Want to show up as more of yourself and less of what others might expect, and help your partners do the same? Let's talk about some conversations, actions, and self-reflection that will help us get there.  Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com  You can see the transcript on Joli's blog, a word from Joli Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube
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Jul 3, 2022 • 1h 4min

72 How to be a classy visitor to a strip club with expert guest Elle Stanger, CSE

Going to a strip club is a great way to expand your erotic life but we have heard from tons of couples who feel a little nervous about it. Even if you've gone before, going as a couple might feel different. In this episode we talk with Elle Stanger, a s*x wrker (yes, we have to get creative with spellings around the internet these days) and AASECT Certified Sexuality Educator about strip club etiquette, treating erotic labor as work, and how to be a decent person in relation with sex workers.  This episode is a ~~ MUST LISTEN ~~ Whether you are chomping to hit the clubs or are just curious about how erotic labor can be made safer for everyone involved your ears are in for a treat. Please listen to (and share) Elle's podcast at www.theytalksex.com for more perspectives on s*x wrk from someone who knows. Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com You can see the transcript on Joli's blog, a word from Joli Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube
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Jun 26, 2022 • 34min

71 Doing what you said you'd do: When accountability works and when it doesn't

Accountable and reliable- this is what you want from a life partner. But, life moves fast. What happens when you can't keep your word? Or when you change your mind about something that matters to your partner?  One of the things about having a completely unscripted podcast is you get to hear us work through our process live- no edits. In this episode, we talk about what happens in our relationship when one of us says we'll do something and then life happens and things change. Joli had a moment when she kinda blew her own mind by realizing that accountability has a shadow side too. The truth is we all have to prioritize and sometimes that means we won't be able to keep our word- let's talk about what can you do to make this wobbly part of love--the part where life gets messy-- actually work in your favor.  Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com You can see the transcript on Joli's blog, a word from Joli Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube
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Jun 19, 2022 • 1h 4min

70 Guest Expert Megan Bhatia: Choosing Polyamory While Raising a Family

We talk with Megan Bhatia from the Amory podcast about our different polyamory journeys, our experiences with family as polyamorous people, and parenting outside the monogamous paradigm. You can view the transcript here Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube Get my free top 5 relationship guides at ListenToJoli.com for easy to implement conversations that will help you create the love you really want. Are you ready to open your relationship happily? Find out at www.JoliQuiz.com Get the book Project Relationship Learn about Joli and how to work with her If you want to stay up to date on all of Joli's work be sure to join the Project Relationship mailing list
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Jun 12, 2022 • 32min

69 The Year Of Opening

Ready to take your relationships to new levels of growth and satisfaction? In a community of like-minded, growth oriented people with similar goals? Led by a highly trained expert and her experienced partner? Listen to Episode 69 where we share some of our thoughts and experiences about opening relationships, and offer an exciting new opportunity to join a group coaching program designed to help you open your relationship the smart way. Start by taking the quiz to find out how ready you are to open your relationship happily If you're ready to start opening your relationship the smart way, go directly to the application! Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube
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Jun 5, 2022 • 1h 13min

68 Train Your Nervous System to Transform Your Relationships with Elisabeth Kristof

Join us for the first episode of Season 6! We talk with Elisabeth Kristof of Brain Based Wellness about training your nervous system, and how you can use those skills to improve your relationships. Elisabeth is not only a certified applied neurology coach but also one of Joli's most treasured trauma-informed colleagues.  Click here for a free video series to relieve stress, resolve anxiety and eliminate unwanted behavior!  BONUS: Elisabeth and Joli created a one-of-a-kind workshop called Jealousy Rewired! Get access to this groundbreaking combination of somatic and cognitive tools to transform your jealousy struggles into opportunities. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube
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Apr 24, 2022 • 33min

67 Exploring **Potential** Kinks

Are you kinky? Nobody but you can answer that question, and nobody but you can decide what it means. There's no board of kink that issues certificates, no licensing board that decides what you can and can't do based on your "kink" status.  In this episode we talk about ways you can explore this question for yourself. And some of the things to think about along the way - practical, psychological, and relational. Get my free top 5 relationship guides at ListenToJoli.com for easy to implement conversations that will help you create the love you really want. Get the book Project Relationship Learn about Joli and how to work with her If you want to stay up to date on all of Joli's work be sure to join the Project Relationship mailing list Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube
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Apr 17, 2022 • 35min

66 Who Started It? The Decision to Open Up

How did we get where we are? What stories do we tell each other (and ourselves) about the decisions that got us here? In this episode we dig into how the way we remember and tell our stories affects the way we view our relationships, and our partners. Here's the graphic on cognitive bias I mentioned. Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube Get my free top 5 relationship guides at ListenToJoli.com for easy to implement conversations that will help you create the love you really want. Get the book Project Relationship Learn about Joli and how to work with her If you want to stay up to date on all of Joli's work be sure to join the Project Relationship mailing list
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Apr 10, 2022 • 40min

65 Relationship Agreement Skills - Shared Values & Relationship Purpose

How satisfied are we in our relationships? How satisfied can we be? How do we decide? When we make explicit agreements with our partners, we can start to see clearly how well our relationships serve us. The more we know about our values and our partners' values, the easier it is to make effective explicit agreements, which is what this episode is about. We share experiences with our relationship agreements, and talk about some of the tools we use to help us craft them. Here is the exercise and list of values Joli mentioned. Also here is a quick link to available values lists on Google. Strugging with what your relationship is for? Check out "Getting What You Need", Chapter 7 of the book Project Relationship, which has exercises to help you. It's part of my free top 5 relationship guides at ListenToJoli.com. It also includes easy to implement conversations that will help you create the love you really want. Get the book Project Relationship Learn about Joli and how to work with her If you want to stay up to date on all of Joli's work be sure to join the Project Relationship mailing list Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube

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