Mindfulness Mode

Daniel Gefen is an online entrepreneur who has had crazy, wild successes. He seemed to know what he wanted at the crucial times, how to hold out and when to moveon. Yet, he’s also had times in his life when he felt burnt out and unsuccessful. Daniel truly knows how to connect with people and how communication can help you and can boost your business. Contact Info Website: www.DanielGefen.com Blog: FB: DanielGefen Instagram: @IPickBrains Podcast: Can I Pick Your Brain email: Daniel@DanielGefen.com Most Influential Person Rabbi Gersey Effect on Emotions When I'm in a mindfulness space, so my emotions are calmer. Mindfulness doesn't necessarily take away an emotion, but it kind of calms it down. It makes the emotion just a little bit more manageable. So a person could be really angry and you can get into a mindfulness place and it doesn't mean the anger's going to go away. You have a right to be angry sometimes. There's reason to be angry. The difference between being angry and out of control and [rooooooar] I'm just going to smash everything down and I'm going to break relationships and I'm going to regret things that I do and then there's [deep breath], I'm feeling angry but it's okay. Thoughts on Breathing There's a few things I would say about that. Number one is, scientifically, the more we breathe, and the deeper we breathe, the more oxygen we get. First of all going through our blood and to our brain. Scientifically that by itself biologically calms the body down. It's impossible for the body not to calm down when you just breathe deeply and you slowly let it out, like when you breathe and breathe and breathe, the body just feels calm. The other thing that breathing does which is really good is it gives you time to respond and reflect. A lot of times I might be in a situation where I kind of just ... the classical example is the one I gave [earlier] when I could have just opened up the door to my house and just gone in, would have literally head-butted the chaos. I would have just gone 'boom' and it would have been reactive. It would have been an argument. It would have been a fight. And there's fight or flight. It would have been a fight, or me just leaving the house because I just can't deal with it. Instead of the fight or flight, I was able to create a space of time where I just became aware that I don't need to fight and I don't need to flight [sic]. I could just be in the moment and bring, through my energy everybody else into the moment with me, into my calm. In other words, you can either be pulled into someone else's chaos or you can pull them into your calm. You try to pull others into your calm rather than let others pull you into their chaos. Suggested Resources Book: Don't Sweat The Small Stuff and It's All Small Stuff by Richard Carlson Book: Man's Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl App: Switch off the phone Bullying Story I was bullied in high school. I was bullied emotionally. I had this big mole on my face and it had hair growing out of it. As you can imagine, as a high school kid, that's not fun. All the kids would point at it and make fun of it. They'd call me spider face and all sorts of names. My teeth stuck out and they would call me Goofy. When I got braces I was made fun of for that. I was actually kept down a year for my misbehavior and also they said they didn't have room in the year above. I don't know how true that is. It happened to be that my younger brother is a year younger than me so I ended up being in the same year as my younger brother. People would ask us all the time; "are you twins?" And I would say, "no, I'm a year older than him". And so they would say, "oh, so you must be really dumb". I remember walking into a new class once and there were a few seats available, but everyone put something next to them so I couldn't sit next to them. That was my wonderful, beautiful, high school experience.

Michael O'Neal is a speaker, content creator, athlete, coach and on-line entrepreneur. He’s well known for his popular podcast, The Solopreneur Hour where he interviews interesting people who, as he puts it, Zagged, when everyone else Zigged. Although he appears to be fast-paced with many balls in the air at any one time, I see him as a guy who's centered and grounded, mindfully working towards his desired outcomes. You are going to love learning more about Michael O’Neil and how he seems to keep on nailing life. Contact Info Website: www.SoloHour.com (www.SolopreneurHour.com) Coaching Group: IWantASoloLab.com Podcast:  The Solopreneur Hour All Social Media: @SoloHour Most Influential Person David Wood (Host of The Kick-Ass Life Podcast) Effect on Emotions It allows me to not stress out over things I had no control over to begin with. It's like The Four Agreements [by Don Miguel Luiz]. I don't stress out about things I have no control over. Thoughts On Breathing No suggestions on breathing Suggested Resources Book: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho App: Evernote Bullying Story If I could time travel I think I would go back and stand up for myself, so I probably wouldn't be mindful. There were 3 or 4 incidents in my life where I was a bit bullied. I'd be the opposite of mindful. I think mindfulness can be considered a very mature concept and even a lot of adults don't understand it and they can't mentally get to where they need to get so they can remove themselves from the equation. Sometimes there's not enough self-awareness for people to be mindful and so I think that's a bit of a rich concept for a kid whose being bullied. That's not to say that it's impossible. I'm thinking about this one incident. He was probably one of the bullies of the school and he would do that move where he would hit shoulders in the hallway and he would nail me like a hockey cross check. He would check me as we were walking down the hallway. He was the kid who could do thirty pull-ups. He was really ripped and super strong. I don't know if he did anything other than have great genetics. He was just a jerk, a jerky kid. As I'm thinking now, I would probably go to the principal's office and say, look, this is happening and I'm not going to tell you who it is, but don't surprised if I end up in this office. I never did that. I was always scared of the kid. Knowing what I know now about every one of the incidents; it probably only happened 3 or 4 times when somebody was a jerk to me repeatedly. It's just standing up for yourself a little bit that makes them go to somebody else. I wouldn't have had the capacity (that I have now), to say, I know you're in a lot of pain and I can tell that you probably don't have a very good home life and you're looking at me and you're feeling like you can take advantage of me. Ok, but I bet we've got some stuff in common. That's where I would go now with it. But that's about sixty percent of what I would do now. The other forty percent's still in Philly and I would fight back now. I'd say, we can talk about it or I can whack you over the head or something.

Chel Hamilton is a hypnotherapist and has worked in this field for over ten years. She is an expert at helping people overcome their anxieties and fears using her deep understanding of human conscious and subconscious brain functions. She also hosts the Meditation Minis Podcast of short, guided meditations for overcoming anxiety and stress and achieving deep sleep experiences. Contact Info Website: www.ChelHamilton.com Free Ebook: Rewire It: Three Simple Steps To Rewire Your Brain Out of Anxiety and Negative Thinking Patterns  Podcast: The Meditation Minis Most Influential Person Me. The times in my life when I feel the most unsteady or the most crazy or the most triggered, those have been massive learning experiences for me. Effect on Emotions Mindfulness has definitely made me less reactive. I've definitely gotten calmer. Maybe sometimes to the detriment. Sometimes in our interpersonal relationships with a partner when they're being really passionate about something and when we go to the pure, calm, logic side, they're like, omg, you don't get me. What's wrong with you? I'm like, I'm not a Vulcan, I swear. I think sometimes we have to say, oh my god, that's amazing and then go to our calm place. Thoughts on Breathing One of my favorite little breathing meditations is I do on my podcast; it's Eckhart Tolle nose-focused breathing where you just focus on the edges of the nostrils. That was revolutionary for me because the whole idea of having to pay attention to all of my breathing felt like too much work. Just paying attention to the feeling of the air was really easy to do in any situation in life whether walking from one room to another or while in the middle of an argument or anything. So that is the one practice that is both breathing focused as well as meditation focused. If I could just tell people to do one thing, that would be it. Suggested Resources Book: The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Luiz App: Evernote (I use it as my better brain) Effect on Emotions My bullying story had nothing mindful about it. It was fourth grade. I went to inner city schools during desegregation. There was a girl there who was not happy with me and she used to beat me up after school, pretty much every day. She didn't stop until one day I hit her over the head with my lunch box. I don't think mindfulness had anything to do with that. She definitely stopped when I whacked her upside of the head with my lunch box. My son was bullied in middle school as well as my neighbor because we didn't live in the big houses in the fancy part of our district. We lived in the rental homes. I think that, for him, the thing that helped the most was him beginning to understand through some work that he did with me that if he didn't allow them to see any reaction in him, it didn't give them as much pleasure to do the things that they were doing. Learning how to not react in the moment but then to respond. That's not to say that if somebody is being physical or overly threatening that you need to tell the adults. We actually had to switch schools because adults were told and the bullying got even worse at the school. The shame involved in all of that; because when the kid gets bullied, it's usually shame-based, it's fear and shame-based. The less that they respond in the moment, the less juice it gives the bully.

Joshua Spodek is a scientist, specifically an astrophysicist and SO much more. He’s an expert in the field of leadership. He can discover and help develop your leadership potential in ways you never imagined. Josh teaches that some of the greatest leaders were NOT born with a leadership gene; they actually developed the skills and confidence to become successful. Joshua has a thorough understanding of mindset and how it can pilot our ship, either in a negative or positive direction. He is also adamant that mindfulness can be a powerful, positive element in your life. Contact Info Blog & Website: JoshuaSpodek.com Book: Leadership Step By Step by Joshua Spodek SpodekAcademy.com (Online version of the exercises in the book) SpodekAcademy.com/mindful (For Access to The Meaningful Connection Exercise) Most Influential Person The X-girl friend of a roommate. She suggested I might want to learn about mindfulness. Effect on Emotions Much more awareness. I used to look at reason as being rational, so emotions were irrational. I can understand reason, so I can't understand emotion. That's how I looked at stuff at the time. Meditation and mindfulness makes me much more aware. Thoughts on Breathing Breathing is the main thing that I focus on. It's the time scale is a regular human time scale; not too fast, not too slow. It's never away; it's always there. One of the things I like about exercise is it gets you to breathe much more deeply than you normally would. When you get that last bit of breath, it's a very satisfying feeling. Suggested Resources Book: Full Catastrophe Living: Use The Wisdom of Your Body and Mind To Face Stress, Pain, and Illness by Jon Kabat-Zinn Book: Leadership Step By Step: Become The Person Others Follow by Joshua Spodek App: N/A Bullying Story I don't feel like I was bullied. I do hear people talk about bullying today and they talk about stuff that I experienced, but I don't see it as bullying. I felt like it was a part of childhood. Some things are awesome and some things suck and I had some things that sucked. My step brother was older than me and he would make fun of me. It wasn't like torture but he would definitely make things difficult for me. It's hard for me to remember how I felt about it at the time. There were definitely times I'd cry as a kid but I also cried when my parents spanked me and I don't call that bullying.

Tim JP Collins is an anxiety expert. After suffering an intense anxiety attack while delivering a speech for his company, Tim realized he had to delve deep into the cause of his debilitating problem. After years of soul searching and self-therapy, Tim has enabled hundreds of anxiety sufferers to become empowered with the knowledge of how to deal with their condition head on. Tim isthe host of the Anxiety Podcast and is a sought-after speaker on the topic. Contact Info Website: www.TimJPCollins.com Book: The Anxiety Journal by Tim JP Collins Podcast: www.AnxietyPodcast.com Facebook / Instagram / Twitter: Tim JP Collins Most Influential Person Tim Ferris (Talked a lot in his blog about meditation and slowing down and mindfulness) Effect on Emotions By allowing me to process them. I think a lot of the time we try to distract ourselves with music or television or exercise and mindfulness means that we actually can fully be present for whatever it is we're feeling. Thoughts on Breathing I notice that when I was most anxious, I was breathing in my chest. Or breathing up and down is another way to put it; your shoulders are going up and down. One of the things I do to reconnect and ground myself is I rest my hand on the top of my belt or where my belt would be. I just make sure that I'm breathing diaphragmatically; belly breathing in and out, not up and down. Suggested Resources Book: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle Book: The Anxiety Journal by Tim JP Collins Free Resource - Anti-Anxiety Toolkit App: No apps (Paper and Pen) Bullying Story I was bullied a decent amount as a chubby pre-teen and teenager. I had my fair share. When I connect back to that anxious feeling in terms of the feeling in my stomach, I think back to when I was at school. I used to take the bus to high school and there were certain characters who were in the school and then recently graduated. They'd be 17 or 18 years old and they'd hang around at the school. A lot of the time the conversations were things like, 'I'll get you after school'. And so I would spend the day, (and I'm 6 foot 3), and I'd stand out a little bit. I'd spend the whole day panicking and being scared and trying to hide and avoid them and sneak onto the bus without being seen and sometimes I'd get away with it and sometimes I wouldn't. That was a fairly persistent thing in my life and for sure I think that people who experience anxiety are maybe more predisposed to being sensitive individuals. I think people with anxiety tend to be more aware of what's going on which can be positive and can be to your detriment. So more aware of conversations, of feelings, of threats. For instance, when I was a teenager I'd walk into a pub and just by feeling the energy in the pub I could tell if we should leave because there was going to be a fight breaking out or something bad's going to happen. Friends would be saying, oh no, it's fine, we're in now. And give it ten or fifteen minutes and something would happen. It was that energetic aggression that I could feel. So a lot of the time at school I was around that and sometimes I got physically punched in the face and I had to try and stand up for myself as a result of it.

Dr. Ann Gatty is a business consultant with a difference. She partners with her dog; a Great Dane therapy dog named Baretta. Baretta, with Dr. Ann’s help, guides entrepreneurs & executives to a deeper level of mindfulness and other helpful strategies so their businesses will thrive. Dr. Ann is an expert in understanding and improving workplace culture. With lessons shared through Baretta’s perspective, Dr. Ann has authored a book called Leadership Unleashed: A Great Dane’s Wisdom for the Business World. Contact Info Website: www.StrategicPeopleSolutions.com Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook: @AnnGatty Book: Leadership Unleashed: A Great Dane's Wisdom for the Business World by Dr. Ann Gatty Most Influential Person Dr. Jerome Bruner (an American psychologist who made significant contributions to human cognitive psychology and the world of education) Effect on Emotions I think it just keeps me healthier. I think, mental health-wise, you stay calm, but then you understand how to celebrate and how to show gratitude and how to be thoughtful. That's what I like to do if something goes wrong, rather than saying, 'Gee, this was a loss, I won, I lose. No, I win and I learn so that I do something better. I think that mindfulness is a way that allows you to be introspective. It allows you to show a little metacognition where you can look outside and say what's really going on so that you can have a better perspective on how to analyze situations and how to learn from them. Thoughts on Breathing One thing you don't know is that years ago when I first arrived in Pennsylvania, I always wanted to sing well so I started to take singing lessons, voice lessons. If you know anything about voice lessons, the first thing they teach you is diaphragmatic breathing. The woman I studied with actually had a heart issue and she said, because of the diaphragmatic breathing it helped her a great deal to overcome some of the heart issues. It's just a healthy way to calm you down and you can reset easier and you're refreshed when you're using diaphragmatic breathing.  This is something that I take with me and if I start to feel that stress feeling, there's nothing like taking three breaths and you start to feel calm and that you're back in control of things and you can move on and be reset. Suggested Resources Book: Full Catastrophic Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind To Face Stress, Pain and Illness by Jon Kabat-Zinn Book: Leadership Unleashed: A Great Dane's Wisdom for the Business World by Dr. Ann Gatty App: The Calendar on my computer and Memo Pad on my device for the things I've thought of during the day. Bullying Story We have to be mindful of what is going around and also we have to be able to come forward if there is an issue and make certain there are specific rules. Just like we have a pack mentality here with the canines. I don't see any bullying there. If one dog starts to bully, you'll see another one coming forward and saying, hey, what's this? This isn't how we play. They sort of monitor each other to make certain that they're not getting into any of this. In the workplace ... we do a lot of employee policy manuals that we create for our clients as we're helping them with their workplace culture. We just put that right out there because the worst thing you can have is a hostile work environment or anything where there is the slightest concern about bullying because the entire organization goes down; the productivity goes down. People don't do well if they're afraid. People don't do well when they're fearing that there can be some retribution for what is occuring with them in their lives. We put it out there that we won't tolerate this sort of thing and if it does, these are the steps you are to take.

Lee Silverstein supports people dealing with cancer, and he's an all round connector of individuals. He has a podcast called The Colon Cancer Podcast which he created in 2015, after being diagnosed with Colon Cancer in 2011. Since then, Lee has created The Cancer Radio Network. Lee has helped countless numbers of people through his show and his all around caring personality. Contact Info Website: www.TheCancerRadioNetwork.com Twitter: @Lee_Silverstein / @CancerRadioNet Podcast: The Colon Cancer Podcast Most Influential Person My youngest sister, Margie. Effect on Emotions It's helped keep me centered and it's helped me enjoy the little things that are in front of us every day. In our society, you hear phrases like, thank god it's Friday, or the weekend's coming. I just don't subscribe to that because you're ignoring what could be right in front of you today on Monday. Monday could be an amazing day. And Tuesday could be an amazing day. Why do we have to look forward to something in the future to find that happiness? You can touch someone and have an impact on someone's life or something special could be right in front of you if you just take the time to look. Thoughts on Breathing I watched a video a couple of years ago by Dr. Andrew Weil who shared a calming, breathing practice. Perhaps many of Mindful Tribe have heard this. It's the 4 - 7 - 8 breathing cadence. You slowly inhale for the count of 4. You hold your breath for the count of 7. You exhale for the count of 8. You do that four times. It brings you centered, it slows your heart rate and brings you calmness. It's a nice thing to do if you're having a little trouble trying to fall asleep. When you first lay down, do four of those and it calms you, keeps you centered and really helps you take on a mindfulness mode. Suggested Resources Book: The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide To Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruis App: Reminder App on my phone Bullying Story I grew up in a very close family. I have two younger sisters. I'm very close with my sisters, my parents, all of my cousins. But we moved around fairly frequently all through grade school. Dad was fortunate in that new and better jobs seemed to come his way fairly often which meant I didn't spend more than two years in the same school from kindergarten up until ninth grade. Being the new kid in school is not most student's favorite role to be in. That resulted in quite a bit of bullying until high school. In high school that was not an issue. There's a lot of not great memories of being bullied, for being the new kid, for not being the most athletic kid. All the same reasons unfortunately that kids like to pick on other children. I do have some fairly vivid memories about that.

Jeff Sanders is an author, keynote speaker, and founder of the Rockin’ Productivity Academy. Jeff is host of the 5 AM Miracle Podcast and author of a book of the same title. He’s a marathon runner, passionate raw vegan and all-round mindfulness kind of guy. Jeff has a degree in Theatre and Psychology and lives in Nashville Tennessee with his wife and their pet Pug, named Benny. Contact Info Website: www.JeffSanders.com Book:The 5 A.M. Miracle: Dominate Your Day Before Breakfast by Jeff Sanders Podcast: The 5 A.M. Miracle  Most Influential Person Dean Karnazes (Ultramarathon Runner) Effect on Emotions Mindfulness has made me less overtly emotional. Less angry and less extreme. If anything, it has emotional. It calms me down and allows me to be more rational. Thoughts on Breathing Breathing's a big part of [my mindfulness practice]. I think especially as an athlete and someone who likes to have a lot of good oxygen to live and to do things well. I find that also breathing a lot or breathing really intensely also calms me down and prepares me for an event; before a speaking engagement for example. I do a lot of breathing techniques to give my self-confidence a boost and to physically feel better. One of those breathing techniques is from Wim Hoff who is very famously known as The Iceman. I do a lot of intense breathing where you inhale more than you exhale over and over again, basically until you feel light-headed. You are kind of oxygen packing your body for a few minutes and it really does give you this strong sense of confidence and you feel very awake and alert. It's pretty cool. Suggested Resources Book: The 5 A.M. Miracle: Dominate Your Day Before Breakfast by Jeff Sanders Book: Running With A Mind of Meditation by Sakyong Mipham App: Nozbe (A Task Management App based on David Allen's Getting Things Done System) Bullying Story When I was younger, in elementary school aged 7 to 10, I was not quite confident as a kid yet. I was still trying to find out who I was. For a lot of my years growing up, I viewed myself as a follower. I would find other people who I thought were a strong personality or someone who could hold their own and I would follow them around. In the process of that, I got a hold of some fairly difficult friends or friends who were not genuine. They were bullies, and tough guys. I was a small, scrawny little kid and I didn't have a lot of self confidence. It wasn't bullying in the traditional sense, but it definitely was this sense that I felt inferior to them all the time and it took a long time before it wasn't the case any more. For many years I was in this position of, I don't know who I am yet, so I'm just going to follow someone else until I figure it out eventually.

Tim Matthews is a hero at helping men chop down limiting beliefs and regrow their mindset into that of a powerful man who is able to achieve and expand with confidence and contentment. In fact, Tim calls his business, The Powerful Man because he understands how negative self-talk can be flipped into a positive empowerment tool. Tim is totally, 100 percent sold on helping guys reach their next level of happiness, income, success, freedom and impact, through transforming their mindset. Contact Info Website: www.ThePowerfulMan.com Free Powerful Man Training (No Opt-in Required) Reach out to Tim on Facebook Most Influential Person Tom Crawshaw (Writer of theatre, comedy, radio and TV) Effect on Emotions Allowed me to feel them. Thoughts on Breathing Everything. If I notice my breathing's tight and I'm fearful and I want to connect to the moment, I breathe through my nose. The first thing I do in the morning is breathe. Everything for me is about breath. It tells me everything about my connection. Suggested Resources Book: The Surrender Experiment: My Journey Into Life's Perfection by Michael A. Singer App: None Advice For a Mindfulness Newby Allow your breath to be your guide. Your breath tells you a lot about where you are and where you're operating from. Allow yourself to follow your feeling. Identify the feelings that you know you experience when you're in your head which has been busy, has been judgmental, has been chaotic. Identify the feelings you have when you are being really mindful. That's usually peace, love, joy, balance and flow. When I say mindful, I really refer to a way of being; a state of being. Bullying Story In primary school when I was in year three, I was probably around seven or eight, I moved to a new primary school and I felt bullied. People were saying certain things to me and acting so weird, there was a feeling of heaviness. I'm pretty sure it wasn't the majority of the time. I used to use intimidation quite a lot and I'd use it in retaliation for something happening. I used to be quite reactive, so in terms of mindfulness and in terms of calm there wasn't anything really there when I was younger. I can remember when I went to high school I really made the promise to myself; I'm really going to study and stay out of trouble and try hard and that's what I did. I've never been a bully but I feel like I've been on the receiving end of banter if you want to call it that. Having fun taken out of me and taking fun out of people. It's always come from a place of vulnerability. What I mean by vulnerability is not wanting to be seen. It was almost like retaliationg before I felt the attack. It was almost like a retaliation in case of an attack.

Tim Laskis is trained as a clinical psychologist and holds a PhD. Although successful as a psychology student, Tim pushed through many challenges and failures in his life, including almost flunking out of high school. He failed at almost every sport and was even demoted to sweeping floors inhis Dad’s family business. In spite of this track record, Tim pushed forward and became a successful business owner and entrepreneur, even moving to the point where he became a mental skills coach. Tim knows exactly how to manage his emotions and use mindfulness to be a high achiever while still being content in his life. Contact Info Website: www.TimLaskis.com Email: tim@timelaskis.com Podcast: The Tim Laskis Show Social Media - FB, Instagram, LinkedIn: TimLaskis Most Influential Person My dad. Effect on Emotions It's helped me to keep things in check. It's helped me to regulate my thoughts and my emotions because I'm a practitioner of cognitive behavioral therapy which is; your thoughts really control your emotions and your emotions control your behavior. Being able to utilize deep breathing and being able to relax yourself to help you analyze situations more clearly. When you see them more clearly you have less intense emotion and your reaction and behavior then is much better. When people aren't very mindful they have these negative thoughts that impact others, that impact how they feel and then their behaviors negatively impact others and themselves. Thoughts on Breathing Belly breathing is the go-to tool. It's where you take in that deep breath through your nose. You fill that lower diaphragm, you hold it, you exhale, you do that a couple of times, it helps to restart and erase everything that's going on and put you in a neutral state. [show-notes-breathing] Suggested Resources Book: None App: Schedule Once Bullying Story In high school I wasn't in the cool group. There were times that I might have been targeted. Kids might say something, but for the most part I got along with everyone. There were probably one or two people that I didn't. When bullies go after someone and they target their victim, a lot of times it's about the bully, it's not about the victim. The victims will often look at themselves and go, what's wrong with me. What's so bad about me that they pick on me? And they will often internalize it. In working with adolesents who have been bullied, to a really high level, they turn that anger inward. Many times they will get into cutting themselves and self-harm and these really deep down negative thoughts about themselves. That's the real danger with bullies is that mental impact that they make. Maybe they give you a wedgie or they put you in a head-lock or punch you or something. That kind of stuff, the bruises go away, but the mental scarring of that is what is the real dangerous part with bullies. It's to help victims understand that it's not about you as the victim, it's about them. And don't internalize that negativity about yourself. That's what often happens with victims.