Therapy Works

For this week’s episode of Agony Aunties, we’re answering a question from someone struggling after a recent breakup and full of fear of relapsing into a previous nervous breakdown. If we go through a really challenging ordeal post breakup, it would make sense that we’d be afraid of how we will be in the future, if another breakup occurs. What’s important to note is that we’re all different people now than we were before. And so, how you’ll process a future challenge isn’t the same way you’ve handled a past challenge. With that being said, we’d also like to acknowledge grief as a natural process, which often involves the full spectrum of emotions. For future challenges, we recommend practicing self-care in many forms, such as seeking therapy, journaling, and spending time with loved ones who provide positive reflections of ourselves. We’ll talk about all of this and more in this week’s episode. Thank you for submitting your questions, and for giving us a chance to help provide some advice. If you have a question, please DM me at @juliasamuelmbe or email jsamuelpod@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As we’re preparing for Season 6 of the Therapy Works podcast, I wanted to share a special episode here where I spoke with Rahul Jandial, famous Neuroscientist, speaker, author, and friend. Rahul is a dual-trained neurosurgeon and neurobiologist, and the author of “This is Why You Dream” which is what we spend most of our time discussing. We get in depth about how dreams reflect our waking life, the interconnectedness of dreams, creativity, and the human brain. Rahul shares insights on the science of dreaming, its effects on problem-solving and creativity, and the impact of dreams across various stages of life including the significance of erotic dreams and nightmares. The conversation also touches on the exploration of the dreaming brain's activities, the interpretation of dreams, and the profound relationship between dreaming and death. This conversation was so delightful to have. Being able to talk for so long about the importance of dreaming was utterly fascinating for me, and I hope you find it fascinating as well. Apologies for the audio quality, as we faced considerable technical difficulties. If you’re interested in the topic of dreaming, I know you’re going to love Rahul’s new book “This is Why You Dream,” which you can find here:- https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/454635/this-is-why-you-dream-by-jandial-rahul/9781529909449This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/therapyworks today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp.com/therapyworks. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this week’s Agony Aunties episode, we were asked how to handle mood swings. And to answer that, as usual in these episodes, we have a few different angles to approach. The first thing we suggest is to bring awareness to the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems within us, and to ground our approach towards mood regulation in the physical. If our bodies and nervous systems are dysregulated, we can experience a range of affective states, both positive and negative, and so finding ways to regulate ourselves first - be it through rest, diet, or exercise - is one approach to settle the body and to manage these mood swings. We also recommend a sense of self-compassion here, as there are negative connotations to mood swings, and we hope that you don’t adopt any self-blaming language while trying to regulate your nervous system, but to approach your needs with a sense of softness and care. And, as always, we thank you for your questions here and for your prompts to these conversations. We really enjoy exploring these topics with you, so do please keep sending in your questions, and we’ll do our best to answer as many of them as we can. Please email your questions to jsamuelpod@gmail.com or DM Julia on her Instagram @juliasamuelmbe. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

As we just wrapped up Season 5, and we’re ramping up for Season 6, I’d like to share with you a bonus episode with you all this week. Emily speaks to Josephine Hughes, who shares her deeply personal experience as the mother of two transgender daughters. She discusses the initial shock and adjustment period after her daughters came out, the challenges they faced, and the broader societal reactions. Josephine emphasises the importance of parental support and understanding through this transformative journey. She also touches on the misconceptions and struggles associated with transgender identity and how it affects both the individual and their family. Through her narrative, Josephine provides insight and guidance to other parents navigating similar experiences, advocating for acceptance and informed support.Resources:Josephine’s Podcast - https://gloriouslyunready.comAnd here’s the handout she mentioned in the episode:- https://gloriouslyunready.com/transgender/DISCLAIMER: We are psychotherapists and are not in the position to provide medical advice. If you require support for you or your children, please find more advice here: https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/sex-relationships/gender-identity/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode of Agony Aunties, a new therapist asks how she can help her clients develop more self-esteem. And while the three of us practice differently with our clients, what we all agree on is the importance of exploring the client’s relationship with their self-esteem. Where does that struggle with come from? Adding some context to the moments of struggles with self-esteem, especially through practices of mindfulness and journaling, can be helpful for us to notice when our esteem is suffering, and - moreso - when these challenging thoughts arise, we can also choose to not overly identify with them.We’ll talk about this and more in this week’s episode. I hope you find it helpful. If you have any questions you’d like us to answer, please do send them over, as we love taking on your suggestions and seeing what the three of us come up with. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Caitlin Moran, a prize-winning columnist and bestselling author, joins the conversation with her witty insights on gender and society. She reveals the joy and power of words in overcoming struggles. Caitlin addresses the crisis of masculinity, shedding light on the emotional suppression men face due to societal expectations. She explores how feminism has unintentionally highlighted men's emotional challenges, advocating for open discussions about vulnerability. With her characteristic humor, Caitlin emphasizes the need for compassion and fresh dialogues around masculinity.

For this week’s episode of Agony Aunties, a listener asks an important question: how can they be happy when someone in their family is deeply depressed? And so, to answer this, we’re not going to discuss what the listener can do to fix their family member’s problems, even though that might be the urge that arises in us instantly. Instead, we’ll talk about ideas of codependency, and highlight the importance of not anchoring our emotional wellbeing on the state of other’s. Finding ways to take care of ourselves is very important, so that we can be better resourced. We’re not going to help our depressed family member by getting depressed as well, and it can be very easy to catch the emotions of others. So,  please make sure that you’re finding ways to find your own happiness as well.Resources mentioned:Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) - https://www.thecalmzone.netMind - https://www.mind.org.ukSamaritans - https://www.samaritans.org/Papyrus - https://www.papyrus-uk.org Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode of Therapy Works, Heather shares the deeply emotional and challenging journey of raising her daughter, Lizzie, who has profound and multiple learning disabilities. Heather's story is one of love, loss, resilience, and the constant navigation of a life profoundly different from what she once envisioned. Through her journey with Lizzie, Heather illuminates the deep, often unspoken realities faced by families navigating similar paths.Key Points Discussed: Living with Profound Disabilities: Heather describes Lizzie's condition, underscoring the daily realities of caring for someone who is entirely dependent on others for their needs, coupled with the significant intellectual disabilities that shape their interactions with the world. Grief and Acceptance: The conversation delves into the grief that accompanies the loss of the life Heather expected for Lizzie and herself, and how acceptance and acknowledgment of this grief have been crucial for moving forward. Finding Meaning and Coping: Heather reflects on how acknowledging Lizzie's condition and the accompanying challenges have allowed her to find meaning, cope better, and thus provide better care. Community and Representation: Highlighting the importance of representation and community support, Heather discusses the value of connecting with others who understand their family's experience and the ongoing battle for visibility and understanding in a broader societal context. This episode stands as a powerful testament to the complexities of love, the weight of unfulfilled expectations, and the strength found in community and understanding. Heather's insights offer invaluable perspectives for anyone seeking to understand the nuances of caring for a loved one with profound disabilities.Read Heather's letter to Lizzie: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QjCGIa85aS_8jBUQUbKCdi1F0aakf1RkwvIIZQQavH4/edit?usp=sharing Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode of Agony Aunties, we’re answering a viewer who is struggling with their 10-year-old daughter's dislike for their new partner. We’ll talk about how to empathise with the complexity of the situation, and we’ll offer some insights and advice on handling such family dynamics. The daughter’s resistance might stem from feelings of loss and change rather than a genuine dislike for the new partner. Another important point is to ensure continued one-on-one time with the daughter, to maintain open and non-judgmental communication, and to slowly integrate the new partner without forcing acceptance. It’s important to allowing the daughter to express her feelings and fears about the new family dynamic, and for the parent to with manage their expectations for the transition period. Growth is non-linear, after all.And on that note, if you’re interested in more discussions about blended family dynamics, here’s the podcast Emily mentioned - https://open.spotify.com/show/2olc42wsIsoLyGuqrAYQnsIf you have any questions for the Agony Aunties then please do email them to jsamuelpod@gmail.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s episode of the Therapy Works podcast, Dr. Rachel Clarke shares her journey through the peaks of the COVID-19 pandemic, her transition from journalism to palliative care medicine, and her ongoing advocacy for better end-of-life care. Reflecting on the paradox of human existence—the intertwining of love, death, and the essence of being—she discusses the daily challenges within the NHS, the psychological cost of providing care in an overburdened system, and the deeply personal impact of her father's passing.Key Points Discussed: Navigating NHS Challenges: Rachel details the struggle of providing compassionate care during Covid and emphasises the psychological toll it had on her and the healthcare professionals she knows. Personal Growth Through Adversity: She reflects on her path from philosophy to medicine, highlighting how facing death and vulnerability has shaped her perspective on life and her practice in palliative care. For someone that’s confronted by death so often, hearing Rachel’s perspective on death, and outlook on life, is enlightening. The Power of Human Connection: Rachel shares insights on the significance of sincerity and presence in the face of mortality, underscoring the importance of embracing life's dualities. When we are on our deathbeds, we don’t regret not sending more emails or earning more money. What matters to us most is the connections we have. Legacy and Advocacy: Through her books and involvement in healthcare debates, she advocates for systemic change, particularly in palliative care, driven by her experiences and the profound lessons learned from the dying. This episode underscores the importance of compassion, resilience, and the pursuit of meaning amidst life's greatest challenges. If you’d like to know more about Dr Rachel Clarke’s experience, you can find her book “Breath taking” on Amazon - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Breathtaking-UKs-human-story-Covid/dp/0349144567/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices