Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved One's Recovery from Addiction & Mental Illness

It’s human to make decisions that we later regret. Especially when addiction is present in our Loved Ones, fear and deep concern can often color our decision-making process. To see more clearly, we can take a step (or two) back and look at the situation through a new lens.I’m used to considering my Loved One’s needs first, but where do I fit into the equation? What are my own needs right now and what/where are my boundaries? What can I live with and what can’t I? What are my core values and am I respecting them? Can I change my mind if I realize I’ve made a decision that might be unlivable for me? If you originally told your Loved One they could come home, but now you think that was a mistake and you need to let them know you’ve changed your mind, consider planning ahead: have a plan for what you’ll say, be ready to remove yourself if things get very tense or even dangerous.Module 2 on safety is an essential one to watch. Module 4 on how to talk to your Loved One will also be very helpful here. Module 7 on navigating and regulating difficult emotions, is full of precious guidance.And here is the episode Kenny mentions having listened to multiple times, that you might also appreciate: How Do You Negotiate When Your Loved One is Coming Home? Our Families Speak series features a wonderful team of people navigating life with an addicted loved one. They are all members of Allies in Recovery, an online platform providing training, guidance, support and resources to families ready to shift the dynamic with their loved one struggling with substance use.With grace, compassion, humility and deep generosity, the Families Speak team shares openly with Coming Up for Air listeners. We can thus benefit from their experience, their process, and the work they do with group facilitator and psychotherapist, Kayla Solomon.Visit Allies in Recovery to learn about our membership options, read our blog posts, meet our team, and much more!

There's a science to identifying the ripest moments for talking with your Loved One and knowing how to navigate them. Find out the opening lines that are sure to shut the conversation down before it even starts. Find out how to approach your Loved One in a way that keeps communication lines open. And finally, find out what you should have in your back pocket in case a ripe moment arises.A membership at Allies in Recovery gives you unlimited access to:· Support groups for connection & guidance· Our online learning platform to teach you through the CRAFT skillset step-by-step· A Q&A blog where you can ask questions and receive tailored guidance· And much more!Visit alliesinrecovery.net to explore membership options, read our blog, meet our team, and start your journey today.

When we face uncertainty, especially in relation to a Loved One struggling with substances, we tend to catastrophize, and challenging emotions like fear and helplessness can take over. As one mother puts it, "I jump on the zipline to nowhere." Each of our Families Speak co-hosts brings nuggets of wisdom and hard-earned strategy to this super-relevant conversation. Our Families Speak series features a wonderful team of people navigating life with an addicted loved one. They are all members of Allies in Recovery, an online platform providing training, guidance, support and resources to families ready to shift the dynamic with their loved one struggling with substance use.With grace, compassion, humility and deep generosity, the Families Speak team shares openly with Coming Up for Air listeners. We can thus benefit from their experience, their process, and the work they do with group facilitator and psychotherapist, Kayla Solomon.Visit ⁠alliesinrecovery.net⁠ to learn about our membership options, read our blog posts, meet our team, and much more!

Children are often present when a parent or other Loved One uses substances problematically. It can be complicated to know how much to say to them about the substance use, and they might not necessarily have the words to talk about it. Kayla and Isabel talk about ways to spare the children as much as possible, and even "use them" as leverage.Partner CRAFT is the podcast series by Allies in Recovery that focuses on applying the CRAFT method with a romantic partner (or ex-partner) who struggles with addiction. Co-hosts Kayla Solomon (psychotherapist, IMAGO counselor and Group Facilitator for Allies in Recovery) speaks with Isabel Cooney (Allies in Recovery team member, and ex-partner of an addicted Loved One) about the ways the CRAFT approach can be different when your loved one is your partner, rather than your child.A membership at Allies in Recovery gives you unlimited access to:Support groups for connection & guidanceOur online learning platform to teach you through the CRAFT skillset step-by-stepA Q & A blog where you can ask questions and receive tailored guidanceAnd much more!Visit Allies in Recovery to explore membership options, read our blog, meet our team, and start your journey today.

Two sisters continue to look at their present-day relationship with a Dad with problematic drinking and mental illness. How have they changed the way they respond now as young adults, when they see him drinking? What observations do they have of CRAFT in action? Kayla weighs in with some inspired guidance for the girls, going forward.The CRAFT method was designed for any family member to use with a Loved One suffering from addiction and/or mental health issues. Allies in Recovery guides you through the steps with videos, exercises, Q & A discussion blogs and live support groups. The toolkit you gain will benefit both you and your Loved One. Learn more here. 

An honest and deeply real account from two sisters. They were pre-teens when their parents split up and they started to see the signs their Dad had a serious drinking problem. Their mom began using CRAFT with him and the girls navigated as best they could. Fast forward 13 years: they're young adults, both living far away. How have they been affected and where are they today?The CRAFT method was designed for any family member to use with a Loved One suffering from addiction and/or mental health issues. Allies in Recovery guides you through the steps with videos, exercises, Q & A discussion blogs and live support groups. The toolkit you gain will benefit both you and your Loved One. Learn more here.

Kayla checks in with Annie Highwater, a regular contributor to our blog, about ways that CRAFT and Allies in Recovery's member site have changed her as a person.Is your Loved One struggling with addiction? Allies in Recovery’s online program can help. You’ll learn a powerful, evidence-based approach to improve your wellbeing and that of other family members. Allies in Recovery provides the strategy, words, and actions a family needs to successfully move their Loved One with addiction toward stopping substance misuse/addiction.   Allies in Recovery also teaches families to navigate the world of addiction and recovery, including working towards engaging a Loved One into care and treatment. The program trains families to be effective participants in the journey to wellness for a Loved One with addiction. Let's get you on the road to becoming an ally! Visit alliesinrecovery.netTo learn more about Annie Highwater, you can check her out on FB, listen to her podcast "The Unhooked Podcast", or check out her books, Unhooked and Unbroken.

When your Loved One has substance use and/or mental illness, communication can get sticky and prickly pretty quickly. Yet there's no world where we'll never need to have difficult conversations with our family members. CRAFT provides an incredibly effective toolbox for developing more easeful relationships. In this episode, our co-hosts—family members dealing with a Loved One's substance/mental health struggles—share how they've come to approach sensitive topics. The skillset they've learned from Allies in Recovery, and the dedicated way they have practiced using those skills, has helped them to recognize the best times to share a comment, the best tone/mindset to adopt when doing so, and what reasonable expectations are for these exchanges.Every human can benefit from this conversation which is overflowing with wisdom, humility and common sense approaches.Learn more about Allies in Recovery and how we can help you help your Loved One.

What goes around, comes around. Kenny, Bridget, and Elizabeth came to Allies in Recovery as family members looking for help with shifting the dynamic with an addicted Loved One. At the time, rather than recording episodes for the world, they were listening and learning, like you. Listen to them speak about their all-time favorite Coming Up for Air episodes and why they were so impactful.One Families Speak family member recently referred to Allies in Recovery as “the Bible of Healing Ourselves.” Visit alliesinrecovery.net today and see why.Here are the episodes referred to by our co-hosts:Handling Hard FeelingsDon't Let Perfectionism Get In the Way Progress, Not Perfection  Rupture & RepairIntention vs. Perception   How Do You Deal with Unknowns and Limited Contact? Interview with Linda Aber 1 Interview with Linda Aber 2 How Do You Negotiate When your LO is coming home? Reflective Listening, intentional dialogue & improving communication What are the challenges of Reflective Listening? How do you get past accumulated trauma? When Your Loved One is Homeless

Money is already such a huge issue for almost everyone, before you even add Substance Use Disorder (SUD) into the mix! Things get exponentially more complex when it's your loved one with addiction issues asking for money. Whether it's "just 20 dollars" or rent for an apartment, families often experience the feeling of being hostage to their fear for their loved one. Giving your loved one money can play into that dynamic. Our hosts share their stance re: money before finding CRAFT, and what changed (for the better!) once they were using the CRAFT toolkit that we teach at Allies in Recovery. A fascinating conversation that brings helpful perspectives for the sticky issue of money.