FAMILIES Speak: I Said He Could Come Home — Can I Change My Mind?

It’s human to make decisions that we later regret. Especially when addiction is present in our Loved Ones, fear and deep concern can often color our decision-making process. To see more clearly, we can take a step (or two) back and look at the situation through a new lens.

I’m used to considering my Loved One’s needs first, but where do I fit into the equation? What are my own needs right now and what/where are my boundaries? What can I live with and what can’t I? What are my core values and am I respecting them? Can I change my mind if I realize I’ve made a decision that might be unlivable for me? If you originally told your Loved One they could come home, but now you think that was a mistake and you need to let them know you’ve changed your mind, consider planning ahead: have a plan for what you’ll say, be ready to remove yourself if things get very tense or even dangerous.

Module 2 on safety is an essential one to watch. Module 4 on how to talk to your Loved One will also be very helpful here. Module 7 on navigating and regulating difficult emotions, is full of precious guidance.

And here is the episode Kenny mentions having listened to multiple times, that you might also appreciate: How Do You Negotiate When Your Loved One is Coming Home?

Our Families Speak series features a wonderful team of people navigating life with an addicted loved one. They are all members of Allies in Recovery, an online platform providing training, guidance, support and resources to families ready to shift the dynamic with their loved one struggling with substance use.

With grace, compassion, humility and deep generosity, the Families Speak team shares openly with Coming Up for Air listeners. We can thus benefit from their experience, their process, and the work they do with group facilitator and psychotherapist, Kayla Solomon.

Visit Allies in Recovery to learn about our membership options, read our blog posts, meet our team, and much more!