The Emotionally Healthy Leader Podcast

Movements with longevity are sustained through shared, easily understood language. This most often comes through the development of axioms - short, memorable phrases that capture the essence of truth in simple ways. Reflecting on the last two decades of leading Emotionally Healthy Discipleship, I've been able to identify at least 10 core axioms (probably more like 25!) that have stood the test of time. In many ways, they are a "cliff-notes" introduction to an emotionally healthy church culture. In today's podcast, I share the first 5 timeless axioms that have shaped the culture of what we call Emotionally Healthy Leadership. (ie. "Jesus may be in your heart, but grandpa is in your bones." If you are a leader, these axioms are extremely helpful to use with your teams as simple ways to build a healthy team and church culture. I pray you will memorize them, ponder them, and make space to allow the biblical truth to penetrate you.

According to the World Christian Encyclopedia, the fastest growing stream of the church is the Pentecostal/Charismatic movement. In terms of overall numbers, it represents 644 million Christians world wide. This is 8.3% of the world population. By 2050, it will reach over 1 billion people. Unbelievable! We need the power of God, gifts of the Holy Spirit, signs and wonders for the global mission of the church. Much of my personal spiritual and leadership journey was formed in the charismatic movement. We regularly experienced the outpouring of God's power in our church. It was electric. And yet I was still proud, defensive, distant, not present, unable to connect relationally, conflict avoidant, unaware internally, and unloving. This disconnect is what led to the birth of Emotionally Healthy Discipleship. In today's episode, I unpack 5 key contributions of Emotionally Healthy Discipleship that allow us to walk in the healthy, long-term release of God’s power. 

For leaders, one of the most frustrating parts of decision-making is this... It....takes....time. Sure, sometimes quick decisions are necessary. But most consequential decisions (that shape the future of your life, church, and ministry) require the ability to slow down and wait. Usually for longer than is comfortable for you. In order to let your judgments (discernments) come from deep within, you cannot in any way be pressed or hurried. You must wait. To be clear, waiting does not mean you are doing nothing.  You are doing the most important something there is. In today's podcast, I share more about what God is actually developing in you in times of waiting. Then I take time to address several questions listeners have submitted.

Decision-making is primarily about discernment. It's the ability to make decisions that align with God's will for your life and ministry. The truth is - discernment is an art. It takes practice, attention, and a lifetime to develop. But if there is one core practice that is the foundation of discernment, it is learning to pay attention to the movement of God in your own soul through consolations and desolations. "Consolations and desolations" are terms offered by Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits over 500 years ago to describe the inner feelings that move you toward God and the ones that take you away from God.   Leaders who are able to slow down and pay attention to the inner work of God will not only be effective, they will be able to lead from joy, rest, and freedom.

One of the primary tasks of spiritual leadership is the ability to make prayerful, wise decisions. Yet many leaders find it difficult to invest the time and space necessary for sharp discernment. The result is that our decisions become dull, lacking precision and power. Over time, flippant decision-making inflicts tremendous consequences on us and those we lead. In the first episode of this new podcast series, we discuss the importance of boundaries to keep us surrendered to God’s purposes. Why? Because any time God calls us to a specific work, the devil tempts us to live beyond our boundaries. This happens in every season of our life! When we discern and yield to the gravity of God's purpose, life flourishes. This is the first step to becoming leaders who make sharp decisions.

Years ago, we were doing some strategic planning at the church I had founded in Queens, NY. We were reflecting on what contributed to our growth over a 26 year period. A single word kept reappearing on the whiteboard - "BASEMENT" How did we disciple so many quality leaders, many of whom are still leading today? Hint: it wasn't what happened on the stage. It was what happened in the basement. Matthew 28 tells us to "make disciples of all nations". But many leaders today feel a pressure to make their discipleship strategies big and public rather than small and hidden. Jesus modeled a different way of making disciples. In fact, he flipped the entire thing upside down. In today's podcast, I share with you why real discipleship starts in the basement.

Eight years after planting New Life Fellowship Church in Queens, I was exhausted. The pressure of preaching and teaching weekly messages, along with the rest of my leadership responsibilities, left me depleted. Although our ministry was growing, I often felt like I was gaining the world but losing my own soul.   What I lacked, and what so many of us still lack today, is a way to teach and preach for Jesus that properly flows out of a deep inner life with him. What I discovered is that there is a way to engage in this weighty work of speaking for Jesus that is light and easy rather than heavy and hard, that strengthens rather than diminishes our relationship with him, and that is marked by joy and spaciousness rather than anxiety and pressure.

Affliction. It's a topic that nobody wants to talk about (including me). But as it relates to TRUE LEADERSHIP, it is a costly mistake to avoid our afflictions. Why? Because this is how God matures us into spiritual mothers and fathers of the faith. By "affliction," I'm referring to any kind of hurt, loss, betrayal, broken relationship, abandonment, or disorienting circumstance. While these are obviously things we don't want, they are also unavoidable. Many of us run from our afflictions, seeing them as obstacles to our life and leadership. We distract, jump over, sidestep, and ignore. But Jesus called us to take up our cross and follow him. And when you're on the cross, you can't just jump off! The good news is that God doesn't abandon us in our hardships. In fact – if we're willing to PAY ATTENTION, God uses our afflictions to develop us into the type of leaders worth following. Take a listen to today's podcast episode.

One of the greatest threats to leading with joy is giving into the temptation of overcommitment. When our lives are crowded, cluttered, and cramped, it is difficult to hear God and live in loving union with Him. The irony is, we can "fit in" regular practices of Sabbath and silence while still being driven by an overscheduled life. But how do we resist this temptation? Silence, solitude, and sabbath must become our practices. AND spaciousness must become our mindset. In order to live spacious lives, we must avoid the critical traps that keep us settling for an overcommitted life. What would it feel like to live with breathing room? How would it feel to limit your "Yes" and claim more margin in your schedule? What if you could build in time for extended thinking, praying, and being? On today's podcast, I identify several traps that keep you from the gift of spaciousness and offer wisdom that will help you live with a renewed sense of joy.

Many leaders today "know" the importance of a slowed-down spirituality. So why do so many continue to feel overloaded and over scheduled, often working 3 jobs, taking on new side hustles, and remain driven by the fear of missing out? Why can't we stop overcommitting? Listen, I know this struggle firsthand. And I've found that it goes deeper than knowing intellectually and theologically the right thing to do. On today's podcast, I tackle this question head-on in two parts: How do you break free from the roots of overcommitment inside yourself? How do you help others break free from overcommitment as you lead them? This is an important one. I pray that as you listen, you begin to experience a newfound freedom in Christ.