Her Best Self: Freedom from Disordered Eating, Body Obsession & Perfectionism

Sis, if you've been waiting to feel ready before starting your eating disorder recovery journey, this episode is for you. The truth is, you'll never feel completely ready—and that's exactly why you need to start now. In this powerful episode, I'm sharing why waiting for perfect conditions is just another way the eating disorder keeps you trapped, the personal story of how my own eating disorder began (and why I waited years to start recovering), and the faith step that changed everything for me. Plus, we're celebrating a HUGE milestone: 100,000 podcast downloads! Thank you for being part of this community of brave women choosing freedom over fear. As we head into 2026, don't let another year pass while you're still stuck. This could be the moment everything changes—if you're willing to start before you're ready. 🎯 IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL DISCOVER: ✨ Why you'll never feel "ready" to start recovery (and why that's okay) ✨ The moment my eating disorder began at age 13 in a dance studio—and the rejection that changed everything ✨ What a "faith step" really means and how it differs from feeling confident ✨ The brutal truth about waiting for the "right time"—and how many New Years have already passed ✨ Scripture-based wisdom (Proverbs 3:5-6) on trusting God's path even when you can't see the full journey ✨ How starting creates momentum—even when you're terrified ✨ Two ways to get support on your recovery journey right now ✨ Why inspiration without action keeps you stuck (and what to do instead) 💡 KEY TAKEAWAYS "You will never feel ready. And that's exactly why you need to start now." Starting creates momentum. You don't need to see the whole path—you just need to take the next step. Recovery doesn't wait for readiness. I didn't wait to feel ready to develop an eating disorder. Why should recovery be different? Faith steps > Perfect conditions. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Start walking, and THEN the path becomes clear. The eating disorder lies to you. It tells you to wait until after the holidays, after you lose weight, after you feel more in control. Those "afters" never come. Another year will pass regardless. You can end 2025 exactly where you are now, or you can look back at THIS moment as when everything changed. Inspiration without action is just noise. That stirring in your heart? That's God inviting you into something greater. But you have to respond. 🙏 FEATURED SCRIPTURE Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Notice it doesn't say, "Wait until the path is straight and THEN start walking." It says submit to Him, start walking, and THEN the path becomes straight. 📖 MY STORY: THE DANCE STUDIO At thirteen years old, I was a competitive figure skater who lived for the ice and the studio. During dance conditioning, the instructor called out, "Get in line by size!" Everyone shuffled around, sizing each other up. I stood there frozen, unsure where I belonged. When I took a step, I heard: "Not here." Not mean. Just matter-of-fact. But in that moment, everything changed. The joy I felt became fear. Every mirror became an assessment. Within weeks, I started making excuses and eventually stopped going altogether. That's when I began changing what I ate. Trying to shrink myself to fit into a line where I thought I belonged. That was the beginning of my eating disorder. I didn't wait to feel ready for that. But recovery? I waited for YEARS thinking I needed to feel ready first. 🎉 CELEBRATING 100K DOWNLOADS! We just hit 100,000 downloads on the Her Best Self Podcast! This milestone isn't just about numbers—it's about YOU. Every brave woman who presses play and says yes to healing. Every person who keeps showing up even when it's hard. And here's the full-circle moment: I started this podcast before I felt ready. I had no idea it would reach 100,000 downloads. I had no guarantee anyone would listen. But I did it scared. I did it imperfect. I did it before I had it all figured out. And look where we are now. The same is possible for YOUR recovery journey. ❤️ 💪 READY TO TAKE ACTION? If you're feeling that stirring in your heart—that little voice saying "maybe it's time"—I want to invite you into something: OPTION 1: The Recovery Collective (Group Support) A small, intimate group of brave women who meet every other week to: Share recovery wins and struggles Gain accountability and support Receive coaching in a sacred space Show up as the messy, imperfect, beautiful work-in-progress you are Investment: $97/month Learn More: www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  OPTION 2: 1:1 Private Coaching Personalized support where we dive deep into: YOUR specific struggles and food rules YOUR unique triggers A customized path forward designed just for you Next Step: Fill out a client application at www.herbestself.co  What You Need to Do RIGHT NOW: 👉 Go to www.herbestself.co  and fill out a client application That's it. Just fill it out. You don't have to commit to anything yet. You don't have to have all the answers. You just have to take that first step. 🔥 CHALLENGE FOR THIS WEEK What would your life look like a year from now if you started today? Write it down. Imagine it. Feel it. Then ask yourself: What's the very next step I can take RIGHT NOW? Don't wait another year. Don't let another 365 days pass with you trapped in this same place. Start before you're ready. 📱 CONNECT WITH LINDSEY Website: www.herbestself.co  Recovery Collective: www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  Facebook Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com  Instagram: @thelindseynichol Email: info@lindseynichol.com 🎧 SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW If this episode empowered or blessed you, I'd be honored if you: ⭐ Leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen 📲 Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear this message 💌 Join our email list at herbestself.co for exclusive content and updates Your rating and review helps more women find the show and start their journey to freedom! About the Host Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom. If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

That voice inside your head—the one that tells you you're not good enough, that you need to be perfect, that you're a failure if you rest—she's keeping you stuck. And it's time to silence her. In this episode, we're diving deep into the seven inner critics that are holding you hostage in quasi-recovery. These voices? They're the reason you can't move forward. They're the reason you feel trapped in the exhausting cycle of trying and failing, restricting and controlling, never feeling like you're doing it right. But here's the truth: 80% of your thoughts are negative, and 95% of them are repetitive. No wonder you feel stuck. No wonder you lack motivation. No wonder you believe the lies that you'll always be this way. The good news? You can change your thoughts. And when you change your thoughts, you change your entire life. In this episode, you'll discover: What your inner critic is and how it developed in early childhood The 7 types of inner critics: Perfectionist, Inner Controller, Taskmaster, Destroyer, Underminer, Molder/People Pleaser, and Guilt Tripper Which inner critic is running the show in YOUR mind (and how to identify it) Why your inner critic isn't wrong—it's just a part of you that needs more love How to reframe your negative thoughts and shift your perspective A powerful reflection exercise to help you silence your mean girl once and for all If you're tired of feeling controlled by that voice in your head, if you're ready to stop believing the lies, and if you're done staying stuck in quasi-recovery—this episode is for you. It's time to be the boss of you. Not your eating disorder. Not your inner critic. You. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "It's not who you are that holds you back, sis. It's who you think you're not." 💛 "Your inner critic is just that part of you that needs more love, more compassion. You're the boss, not your eating disorder." 💛 "When you change the way that you think, you change your entire life. When you can change your mind, you can recover from your eating disorder." 💛 "80% of our thoughts are negative and 95% of our thoughts on the daily are repetitive. No wonder why you lack motivation. No wonder why you think you're always gonna be here." 💛 "You are the boss of you. You are not a quitter. You are creating a new version of you." THE 7 INNER CRITICS EXPLAINED 1. THE PERFECTIONIST Sets unrealistic standards and makes you feel inadequate when you don't achieve them. Your self-worth depends on achievement, and mistakes feel catastrophic. 2. THE INNER CONTROLLER Tries to control impulsive behaviors around eating, drinking, or spending. When you slip up, this voice shames you: "You should have known better. You have no willpower." 3. THE TASKMASTER Pushes you to keep going without rest. Fears you'll become "lazy" if you stop. Makes you believe you have to exercise every day or you're unworthy. 4. THE DESTROYER Makes direct attacks on who you are as a person. Tells you you're worthless, broken, a waste of space. This one breeds depression and keeps you trapped. 5. THE UNDERMINER Keeps you small and afraid to take risks. Paralyzes you from believing freedom is possible. Says, "Why try when you're gonna fail anyway?" 6. THE MOLDER (People Pleaser) Makes you adapt and mold yourself to fit in with others. You cut calories, follow rules, stay in your lane—all to be liked and accepted by everyone else. 7. THE GUILT TRIPPER Keeps a record of all your wrongs and never lets you move forward. Reminds you of past failures and says, "This is just who you are. This is your karma." REFLECTION EXERCISE (5-10 MINUTES) As you listen to this episode, I want you to identify which inner critic(s) show up most frequently for you. Then, spend 5-10 minutes reflecting: ✨ What are the constant nagging thoughts she says to you? ✨ What is the voice inside your mind constantly telling you? ✨ How are these thoughts simply not true? ✨ What data do you have to prove your mind could be lying? Now, act as your own BFF, your own ally, your own coach: If your thought is: "I'll never recover" → Shift it: "I'm healing and learning. I'm not there yet, but I'm going there." If your thought is: "This is just too hard" → Shift it: "The more I practice doing the opposite action, the easier it gets." If your thought is: "I always go back to unhealthy patterns" → Ask: "What are some different actions I can take right now so that doesn't happen? How can I show up for my true self?" RESEARCH MENTIONED 📊 According to the National Science Foundation: You think approximately 60,000 thoughts per day 80% of those thoughts are negative 95% of those thoughts are repetitive This is why you feel stuck. But you can change this pattern starting today. RESOURCES + SUPPORT Ready to silence your inner critic with personalized support? 💛 Work With Me 1:1 - I provide deep accountability, connection, and personalized coaching to help you navigate your inner critics, shift your perspective, and find freedom from food and body. If you're exhausted from these voices running your life, let's work together. 👉 Apply for coaching: Visit www.herbestself.co  and fill out a client application 💛 Join Our Private Community - Connect with other women in recovery who understand what you're going through. Find support, hope, and healing. www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  👉 Hope and Healing for Eating Disorder Recovery Facebook Group www.herbestselfsociety.com  Connect with Lindsey Nichol: Website: www.herbestself.co Apply for Coaching: www.herbestself.co Instagram: @thelindseynichol  Facebook Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com  Share This Episode: Know someone who desperately needs to hear this? I'd love for you to share this one. +If this shifted something in you, please: Leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts Share on social media and tag @thelindseynichol Screenshot your favorite quote and post it Subscribe & Review: If this episode resonated with you—please subscribe to Her Best Self wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Your reviews help other women who are tired of perfectionism and living trapped in their mind and body find this show and realize they're not alone. Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear the truth! About the Host Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom. If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

What if rest isn't laziness—it's wisdom? What if slowing down isn't a setback—it's the most revolutionary thing you can do in recovery? In this episode, we're diving into the concept of "wintering"—the intentional act of stepping back, slowing down, and allowing yourself to rest and recharge, just like nature does.  If you're in eating disorder recovery, this might feel like an absolute riot. Because your ED has convinced you that rest is weakness, that comfort must be earned, and that slowing down means you're flawed. But sis, it's time to dismantle those lies. Winter is the season of recovery. It's preparation time. It's when the earth takes what it needs so that spring can even happen. And you? You're allowed to do the same. In this episode, you'll discover: What "wintering" really means and why it's essential for recovery Why the eating disorder makes you feel bad about comfort (and why that's a lie) How to reframe rest as "cozy" instead of "lazy" Why your body knows exactly what it needs—and how to start listening The beautiful truth about finding your own spark in the gray season How winter's silence gives you the choice to finally hear yourself If you've been running on empty, pushing through exhaustion, or feeling guilty every time you slow down—this episode is your permission slip. Rest is not laziness. Rest is natural. And you deserve it. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "You are allowed comfort. You are allowed to wrap yourself in a soft blanket. To eat warm, nourishing food. To sleep in. To say no. To take up space without earning it." 💛 "What if wintering isn't lazy—it's cozy? What if it's not weakness—it's wisdom? What if rest isn't a setback—it's natural?" 💛 "If plants and the earth are resting, so can you. The trees aren't apologizing for losing their leaves. The ground isn't hustling through winter. Nature understands that rest is not optional; it's essential." 💛 "Winter is the slow-down, the search for self. It's the pause that says, 'Who am I when I'm not running? Who am I when I stop proving? Who am I when I just... am?'" 💛 "This is not laziness. This is survival. This is healing. This is how you prepare for your spring." IN THIS EPISODE, WE EXPLORE: ✨ The concept of "wintering" and why it matters in eating disorder recovery ✨ How the ED voice makes rest feel impossible—and how to challenge it ✨ Why comfort is not something you have to earn ✨ The difference between "cozy" and "lazy" (spoiler: rest is natural, not flawed) ✨ How your body already knows what it needs—you just have to listen ✨ Why winter's gray helps you see your own color and spark ✨ The gift of silence and choosing to listen to yourself ✨ How to give yourself permission to rest without guilt or shame Ready to Get Support for the New Year Ahead? You don't have to winter alone. Recovery Collective: Group support program with 2x monthly coaching calls and community chat~ www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  One-on-One Coaching: Personalized support to help you discover your true identity and walk in freedom. Learn more and apply at www.herbestself.co Connect with Lindsey Nichol: Website: www.herbestself.co Apply for Coaching: www.herbestself.co Instagram: @thelindseynichol  Facebook Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com  Share This Episode: Know someone who desperately needs to rest and give herself grace but refuses to "winter"? I'd love for you to share this one. +If this shifted something in you, please: Leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts Share on social media and tag @thelindseynichol Screenshot your favorite quote and post it Subscribe & Review: If this episode resonated with you—please subscribe to Her Best Self wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Your reviews help other women who are tired of perfectionism and living trapped in their mind and body find this show and realize they're not alone. Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear the truth! About the Host Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom. If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Sis, this season can be all the chaos. It's time you be present with yourself, take a step back, allow yourself rest, peace, and grace. Friend, you owe you. This episode is DIFFERENT. This isn't just host Lindsey Nichol talking - it's Lindsey GUIDING you through 3 calming meditations specifically designed for your recovery journey. Save this episode. Bookmark it. Come back to it whenever you need it. This time of year, anyone can feel overwhelmed by holiday chaos. But for someone with an eating disorder, the anxiety can be crippling. Pre-meal panic. Body image triggers. Overwhelming thoughts that feel impossible to quiet. Lindsey has walked this path. She knows how overwhelming those thoughts and feelings get, especially during the holidays. That's why she created these simple, powerful meditations to be your companion whenever you need to: Calm pre-meal anxiety before eating with family Ground yourself during a body image crisis Show yourself compassion on the hardest days Whether you're struggling with pre-meal anxiety, having a hard day with your body image, or just need a moment to ground yourself - press play on this episode. Come back to this episode when you're feeling overwhelmed, when you're feeling not enough, and when that anxiety feels like it's on overdrive. The 3 Guided Meditations: Meditation #1: Pre-Meal Calming Meditation (For Anxiety Before Eating) When to use this: Before lunch or dinner when anxiety feels highest When sitting down with family for meals When you feel panic rising about food choices When the ED voice is loudest before eating What Lindsey guides you through: Finding comfortable seated position Gentle breathing to become present Noticing thoughts like clouds passing in the sky Hand-on-heart, hand-on-belly grounding Affirmations: "I give my body permission to be nourished" "I choose to feed my body with compassion" "Food is my medicine. This is a good thing" "This is one step in my recovery journey" Breathing mantras: "I am stronger than the eating disorder voice" "I have the wisdom to nourish my body" "I am more than my body" Duration: ~5 minutes Key truth: These quiet moments of connection with yourself are powerful. This helps you separate from the ED voice and reconnect with your TRUE self. Meditation #2: Body Image Grounding Meditation (For Body Hate Days) When to use this: When you're having a hard body image day When "feeling fat" is overwhelming When critical thoughts about your body won't stop When you need to reconnect with gratitude for your body Important reminder: "Feeling fat" isn't actually a feeling - it's often your body's way of telling you something else is going on emotionally. What Lindsey guides you through: Comfortable position (seated or lying down) Noticing where your body contacts the ground (grounding) Body scan from feet to head with gentle awareness: Feet: Connecting to the ground, wiggling toes Legs: Getting stronger, supporting you Core/Stomach: Your true strength, your center (not to be micromanaged) Chest: Rising and falling with each breath Arms/Hands: Tools to express love, create amazing things Head: Houses thoughts AND dreams, desires, wishes Acknowledging judgmental thoughts without judgment Thanking your body for what it allows you to do Self-hug + gratitude: "Thank you for allowing me to walk, breathe, be grounded" Key practice: When critical thoughts arise, simply say "I notice I'm having a judgmental thought," then return to observing with curiosity. Duration: ~7 minutes Key truth: Your body is not your enemy. It's not up for negotiation. It's your HOME - where you live. Meditation #3: Self-Compassion Meditation (For Suffering + Hard Moments) When to use this: When you're feeling overwhelmed When you don't honor or love yourself When you don't know where to turn next When you need to be as kind to yourself as you'd be to a friend What Lindsey guides you through: Thinking of a recent challenge in recovery Noticing emotions and physical sensations Hand over heart, feeling steady heartbeat Affirmations: "This is a moment of suffering" "Suffering will pass - it's part of life and recovery" "I can be kind to myself in this process" Imagining a friend facing the same challenges Asking: "What would I say to them? How would I support them?" Offering yourself that same grace: "I'm doing the best I can" "Recovery takes time" "I'm worthy of patience and understanding" Key practice: You deserve the same kindness you'd offer your friend, mom, or sister. Duration: ~5 minutes Key truth: Your ED voice may be loud this season, but it doesn't have to control you or your actions. Key Reminders Throughout: Thoughts Are Like Clouds: They can come in (like your breath) and flow out (like your exhale) without you grabbing onto them. Your Truth: These thoughts can pass like clouds in the sky You are MORE than these thoughts This voice is NOT your truth You can choose recovery in this exact moment Your worth will NEVER be determined by food or weight You are SAFE here For Beginners: This isn't about doing it perfectly. It's about giving yourself permission and the gift of being present and compassionate. How to Use This Episode: Save it. Bookmark it. Add it to a playlist. Press play: Before meals when anxiety rises During body image struggles On overwhelmingly hard days Whenever you need grounding Come back often: These meditations get easier with regular practice. Each time you return to this episode, you're strengthening your recovery toolkit. Pause anytime: Lindsey guides you through, then gives you space to practice on your own. Feel free to pause and extend any meditation as long as you need. Powerful Truths from This Episode: "Since your body, it is worthy of nourishment" "These thoughts are like clouds passing in the sky - they can come in and go out without you grabbing onto them" "Your body is not your enemy. It's your home. It's where you live" "Feeling fat isn't actually a feeling - it's often your body's way of telling you something else is going on emotionally" "Your core is your true strength, your center - it's not to be micromanaged" "You deserve the same kindness you would offer to your friend" "Your eating disorder voice may be loud, but it doesn't have to control you" "Recovery isn't about perfection - it's about progress" "These quiet moments of connection are so powerful" Why These Meditations Work: They're Specific to ED Recovery: Not generic mindfulness - these address pre-meal panic, body image, and self-compassion specific to eating disorder struggles. They're Quick: 5-7 minutes each. You can do them anywhere, anytime. They're Guided: Lindsey walks you through every step. No meditation experience needed. They're Repeatable: Come back to this episode again and again. Build these into your recovery routine. They Separate You From the ED Voice: These practices help you recognize that the ED thoughts are NOT you - they're just thoughts passing through. Your Recovery Toolbox: These meditations are TOOLS in your recovery toolbox. Use them whenever you need extra support. Before meals → Meditation #1 Body image crisis → Meditation #2 Hard day/overwhelm → Meditation #3 Remember: You are stronger than you know. You don't have to do this alone. Ready for More Support? If you're looking for an extra hand guiding you along the way from somebody who has been there, who has recovered - not just a therapist, but a COACH who has recovered - Lindsey offers: Recovery Collective Group support with other women on the recovery journey. Community that understands: www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  One-on-One Recovery Coaching Personalized guidance from someone who's walked this path and found freedom. Learn more and apply at www.herbestself.co Connect with Lindsey Nichol: Website: www.herbestself.co Apply for Coaching: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/13WDpvmQNoVvAytBdqM72FIp1AqXMfSFrqzQVvBWrwHY/edit  Email: info@lindseynickel.com Facebook Community: Her Best Self Society - www.herbestselfsociety.com  Instagram: @thelindseynichol How to Support This Show: If you found value in today's episode: Leave a review on Apple Podcasts (this helps us reach more women!) Share this episode with someone who needs these meditations Save/bookmark this episode to come back to Join the Her Best Self Facebook community Your reviews truly help us keep showing up week after week with recovery truth and awareness. Share This Episode: Know someone struggling with pre-meal anxiety or body image? Send them this episode. It's a gift they can use again and again. How to share: "Press play on this when you're anxious before meals" "Saved this meditation episode for you" "This helped me calm down - thought you might need it too" Remember, Friend: You are stronger than you know. You do not have to do this alone. Recovery isn't about perfection - it's about progress. And that means showing up for yourself one moment, one breath at a time. About the Host Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom. If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Sister, friend, we've got to celebrate all that you're accomplishing in eating disorder recovery. And one of those accomplishments? Maybe you're listening to today's show and starting to recognize this is a problem in your life. Celebrate that win. Your life has been measured around LESS. Less food, less weight, less energy. You're more successful by being less, running on less, weighing less, consuming less. But today, we're celebrating victories that have nothing to do with the scale. Host Lindsey Nichol shares 11 recovery wins to celebrate that measure MORE goodness in your life - not lack, not weighing less, not being less. Because girlfriend, you're gaining so much more than the weight you're terrified to gain. This process of recovery, of letting yourself BE (not letting yourself go, but surrendering to who you truly are inside) - that's what we're celebrating today. Stop measuring your worth by a number. Start celebrating these wins. The 11 Recovery Wins to Celebrate: Win #1: When You Eat MORE Celebrate: That snack. Adding nuts to your oatmeal. Adding something versus restricting. Truth: When you eat more, you think bigger. Your mind uses fuel to function. Action: Add one extra thing today - more protein, more than coffee for breakfast, something. Win #2: When You Challenge THAT Thought The thought: "You shouldn't have had that. Now you have to wait until dinner. You need to run an extra hour." Celebrate: When you sit that thought down and tell it to shut up. Truth: "Not today. I'm not running 45 minutes because I had carbs. I'm taking a walk and nourishing my body." Win #3: When You Face a Fear Food Not: Going from nothing to 50 donuts (that's not what we're doing). Celebrate: Integrating something that's been a struggle. Breaking a rigid rule. Examples: Having cashews at dinner when you only "allowed" almonds at breakfast. Two tablespoons of peanut butter instead of one. Action: Try something outside your normal rigid routine. Eat at a different time. Try a new snack. Get conscious with your eating. Win #4: When You Get Intuitive and Reflect Celebrate: Journaling. Getting present with your feelings. Truth: "Today sucks. I don't want to gain weight. I'm feeling heavy. I'm not sure I'm all in. I'm going to let these feelings in, sit with them, and move on." Remember: We cannot heal what we cannot feel. Win #5: When You Exercise for Enjoyment (Or Don't Exercise at All) Celebrate: Moving your body for FUN, not punishment. Examples: Taking a walk just to reflect. Going to yoga to try something new. Skipping exercise to REST. Truth: No one said you weren't allowed. Grant yourself permission. Win #6: When You Want STRENGTH Over Skinny The shift: Wanting to feel STRONGER versus wanting to be skinnier. Celebrate: When you're putting yourself first, nourishing your body, starting to believe in the process. Truth: You're going to feel liberated, clearer minded, STRONGER. That's winning. Win #7: When You Go Out to Dinner Without Anxiety Not overnight: You don't go from making excuses to avoid restaurants to enjoying dinner stress-free immediately. Celebrate: When you can be PRESENT in the moment. When you hear the nasty thoughts and say "Not for these 45 minutes." Win: Saying yes to events instead of isolating. Win #8: When You Get OFF the Scale The game changer: No longer allowing the scale to define your worthiness. Truth: Not looking at the number to define what you can eat today or what you have to restrict tomorrow. Celebrate: If you're not weighing yourself every second and you're starting to lay that down - that's MASSIVE. Win #9: When You Notice More Energy and Better Sleep Celebrate: Having more brain function. Getting clearer, more sound sleep. Truth: Your body's not running on SILENCE anymore. Things underneath are working properly because you're nourishing yourself. Notice: Different energy spikes after eating. Give yourself props for this. Win #10: When You Let Go of Shame and Guilt After Meals Celebrate: "I gave myself permission to eat something I normally don't eat. I'm on this pathway to recovery. I know I'm fearful, but I'm creating a healthier place for me." Action: Set down the shame. Ask yourself: "What do I need to do right now to not let this consume me?" Win: That's MASSIVE. Celebrate that victory. Win #11: When You Get SUPPORT and Commit The biggest win: Acknowledging you need help and support. Truth: You weren't meant to do this alone. You just weren't. Question: Wouldn't you want help from somebody who's been there? Wouldn't you want to fast-track the process instead of struggling longer? Key Takeaways: ✨ Your life has been measured by LESS - recovery is measured by MORE ✨ Eating disorders become a game - the more successful at restriction, the more achievement we feel ✨ We need to measure with a NEW measuring stick - small victories ✨ When you eat more, you think bigger - your mind needs fuel ✨ Challenge the thought - sit it down and tell it to shut up ✨ We cannot heal what we cannot feel - sit in the discomfort ✨ Want STRENGTH over SKINNY - that's the breaking point toward triumph ✨ Getting off the scale is where the game changes ✨ Recovery takes time - celebrate the small wins in the messy middle ✨ Every single thing against negative behaviors needs to be PRAISED Powerful Quotes: "Your life is measured around success of LACK. Your life is measured off of having less" "Eating disorders become a game - the more successful we are at restriction and manipulation, the more personal achievement we have" "We are not measuring lack. We are measuring the small wins creating more goodness in our life" "You are gaining so much more than weight that you're terrified to gain" "When you eat more, you think bigger" "We cannot heal what we cannot feel" "Celebrate wanting to feel STRONGER versus wanting to be skinnier" "Recovery takes time. Sometimes you live in this messy middle place where it feels hard, it feels mundane" "Your success is a series of small victories and small wins" "The first and greatest victory is to conquer you" - Plato "Today is your opportunity to create the tomorrow that you want" Why Celebrating Small Wins Matters: The Perfectionist Trap: Living in black and white thinking makes it hard to find wins because we measure against an unrealistic stick. But counting each win grants compassion and grace to create momentum. The Messy Middle: Recovery isn't linear. You slip backwards, move forwards, slip backwards again. You throw your hands up and wonder "Was I really that miserable before?" THIS is where measuring small victories matters most. The Scale Obsession: When you've been chained, obsessed, and addicted to taking personal worth inventory over the scale, it's hard to measure differently. But we MUST celebrate victories that have nothing to do with that number. The Truth: Every single thing you do against negative behaviors keeping you stuck is something that needs to be PRAISED. This creates the momentum you need to keep going. If You're Not There Yet: Listen: If you're thinking "I want to celebrate recovery wins but I'm not in recovery yet" - STOP. Celebrate THIS: You're listening to this podcast. You're not here by accident. You're not searching for the new craze diet. You're here because you know something is going on. You're tired of this struggle. Praise that. Hold that close to your heart. You were brought here for a reason. The reason? It has more to do than just experiencing freedom from food controlling your life. When you start finding your purpose because you have more brain capacity, because you're nourishing yourself, because you're finally LIVING - that's where life lives. That's where you're supposed to be. Ready to Stop Doing This Alone? You weren't meant to do recovery by yourself. Wouldn't you want help and support from somebody who's been there? Wouldn't you want to fast-track the process instead of struggling longer? Recovery Collective Group support program with accountability outside of yourself. Bi-weekly coaching calls, supportive community, and the focus and action you need to get from one place to the other. One-on-One Recovery Coaching Personalized support to help you celebrate these wins and create more of them. We literally walk over the bridge together - from where you are to where you want to be. Why it matters: Accountability is a MUST. Recovery coaching is an extra layer to your care team that's going to get you THRIVING. Learn more and apply at www.herbestself.co Connect with Lindsey Nichol: Website: www.herbestself.co Apply for Support: www.herbestself.co Facebook Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com  Instagram: @thelindseynichol Your Challenge: Pick ONE of these 11 wins and celebrate it today. Then come share it in the Her Best Self Facebook community. We want to celebrate WITH you. Remember: Simple, still moments bring the most peace, clarity, and confirmation for your success. Your success is a series of small victories and small wins. Share This Episode: Know someone who needs to celebrate recovery wins beyond the scale? Send them this episode. If this touched your heart today, please: Leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts Share on social media and tag @thelindseynichol Screenshot your favorite win and post it Join the Facebook community and celebrate your wins with us Remember, Friend: "The first and greatest victory is to conquer you." - Plato Start believing in YOU. Start believing this is possible for you. Look around and believe you're worthy of it - because you are. Celebrate your small wins that have absolutely nothing to do with the measurement of a scale. Subscribe & Review: If this episode resonated with you—please subscribe to Her Best Self wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Your reviews help other women who are tired of perfectionism and living trapped in their mind and body find this show and realize they're not alone. Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear the truth! About the Host Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom. If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Girlfriend, if you want freedom from your eating disorder in the new year, you can't keep identifying AS the eating disorder. In this powerful new episode, host Lindsey Nichol gets vulnerable about being defined by labels - the number on the clothing tag, the OSFED diagnosis that made her feel "not sick enough," then the anorexia diagnosis that felt like she'd "earned" being officially sick. She shares the moment she realized the energy it took to be everyone's label was debilitating - and how everything changed when she stopped identifying as disordered and started living from her TRUE identity. Here's the truth: If you are defined by your labels, you're also confined by your labels. And no label - no matter how authoritative, no diagnosis, no number, no title - can contain the full perspective and constellation of who you might become. You are NOT your eating disorder. You are NOT your diagnosis. You are NOT the number on the tag. You are a saint. An heir. A daughter of the Most High. Royalty. This episode will shift how you see yourself and give you a tangible exercise to discover your true identity as we head into a new year. What You'll Learn: The Label Trap Arianna Huffington's truth: No label can contain who you might become How the ED voice defines you by WHAT you have/do, never WHO you are Why being defined by labels means you're also confused by them Lindsey's Vulnerable Label Story Obsessed with the number on clothing tags OSFED diagnosis: feeling "not sick enough" Anorexia diagnosis: feeling "officially sick" The shift: When being someone else's label became debilitating Realizing she wasn't designed to be a label - she was designed to be HER The Labels Keeping You Stuck "Anorexic," "bulimic," "the girl with the eating disorder" "The fit one," "the vegan," "the one on a diet" "Perfectionist," "people pleaser," "the sick one" Even "recovered" can become a trap Research: 80% of New Year's resolutions fail because they're rooted in outcomes, not identity Who God Says You REALLY Are Fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) Chosen - royal priesthood, holy nation (1 Peter 2:9) Deeply loved - nothing can separate you (Romans 8:38-39) A new creation - old is gone, new is here (2 Corinthians 5:17) An heir - daughter of the King, royalty (Galatians 4:7) The New Year Identity Shift Most resolutions fail because they're about WHAT you want to do Identity-based change is more powerful than outcome-based goals You can't identify as "the girl with the eating disorder" and expect to live free When you change your identity, your behavior follows Stop identifying as disordered, start identifying as WHO GOD SAYS YOU ARE Your Tangible Exercise: Step 1: Write down FALSE labels you've been carrying (Anorexic, bulimic, the number on the tag, not good enough, the sick one, etc.) Step 2: Cross them ALL out (These are NOT your identity - they're lies that cannot contain who you might become) Step 3: Write down WHO GOD SAYS YOU ARE I am fearfully and wonderfully made I am chosen I am deeply loved I am a new creation I am an heir I am a daughter of the Most High I am royalty I am a saint I am NOT my eating disorder I am created for freedom Step 4: Read these truths OUT LOUD (Let your ears hear what God says about you) Step 5: Live from THIS identity (Not from labels, not from diagnosis, not from what people call you) Key Takeaways: ✨ If you're defined by your labels, you're also confused by your labels ✨ No label can contain who you might become ✨ The ED voice tells you WHAT you have/do, never WHO you are ✨ You are NOT: your eating disorder, your diagnosis, your size, your past ✨ You ARE: a saint, an heir, a daughter of the Most High, royalty ✨ 80% of New Year's resolutions fail - identity-based change is what works ✨ Stop identifying as disordered, start identifying as who God says you are ✨ When you change your identity, your behavior follows Powerful Quotes: "No label, no matter how authoritative - one given to you by a doctor or a boss - no title, no dollar sign can ever contain the full perspective and constellation of who you might become." - Arianna Huffington "If you are defined by your labels, you're also confused by your labels" "The eating disorder voice loved defining me by WHAT I had and WHAT I did. But it never told me WHO I was" "The energy it took to remain someone else's label was absolutely debilitating" "I wasn't designed to be a label. I was designed to be ME" "You weren't designed to be 'anorexic.' You were designed to be a daughter of the Most High" "If you keep identifying as 'the girl with the eating disorder,' you will keep living like the girl with the eating disorder" "You are NOT your eating disorder. You are a saint, an heir, a daughter of the Most High, royalty" "When you're rooted in THAT identity - when that becomes your foundation - everything changes" "You can't keep identifying AS the eating disorder and expect to live free" "No label can contain the full perspective and constellation of who you might become" Ready to Get Support for the New Year Ahead? You don't have to root yourself in the right identity alone. Recovery Collective: Group support program with bi-weekly coaching calls and community chat~ www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  One-on-One Coaching: Personalized support to help you discover your true identity and walk in freedom Learn more and apply at www.herbestself.co Connect with Lindsey Nichol: Website: www.herbestself.co Apply for Coaching: www.herbestself.co Instagram: @thelindseynichol  Facebook Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com  Share This Episode: Know someone who's been identifying as their eating disorder? Send them this episode. If this shifted something in you, please: Leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts Share on social media and tag @thelindseynichol Screenshot your favorite quote and post it Do the identity exercise and share your breakthrough Remember, Sis: You are NOT your eating disorder. You are NOT your diagnosis. You are NOT a number or a label. You are a saint. An heir. A daughter of the Most High. Royalty. That's your TRUE identity. Now go live like it. You really can move from perfection to purpose. Let's break the chains together. Subscribe & Review: If this episode resonated with you—please subscribe to Her Best Self wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Your reviews help other women who are tired of perfectionism and living trapped in their mind and body find this show and realize they're not alone. Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear the truth! About the Host Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom. If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Hey girlfriend, happy day after Thanksgiving. Maybe yesterday was really hard for you. Maybe you broke a boundary. Maybe you're beating yourself up right now. Maybe you barely survived Thanksgiving dinner and you're exhausted. You made it through. You're here. And today, we're going to talk about gratitude anyway. In this special mini episode, host Lindsey Nichol gets vulnerable about a season when she couldn't feel grateful for anything - when she was so trapped in her eating disorder that gratitude felt impossible. She shares what she's genuinely, deeply thankful for this season, and invites you to find your own gratitude too - even in the mess, even in the middle of the struggle. Because here's the truth: Gratitude doesn't require perfection. It doesn't require having it all together. It doesn't require that yesterday went well. Gratitude just requires being willing to look for the light, even in the hard. Plus: A special Black Friday opportunity to invest in yourself and your recovery (because the best investment you'll ever make is in your own healing). This is a quick dose of hope, vulnerability, and possibility for the day after Thanksgiving. You survived yesterday. Now let's find the gratitude together. In This Mini Episode, You'll Hear: If Yesterday Was Hard Maybe you broke a boundary at Thanksgiving dinner Maybe you're beating yourself up today Maybe you barely survived and you're exhausted You made it through - and that matters Today we're talking about gratitude anyway When Gratitude Felt Impossible Lindsey's vulnerable truth: there was a season she couldn't FEEL gratitude Not that she wasn't grateful - she literally couldn't access the feeling Trapped in the eating disorder, consumed, numb, disconnected Sitting at Thanksgiving tables saying generic things but not feeling it Just surviving, just getting through, counting and calculating If that's where you are today - Lindsey sees you, she's been you Recovery gave her gratitude back - the ability to not just say it but FEEL it That's possible for you too What Lindsey Is Thankful For This Season: #1: Her Clients and Listeners (YOU) This community of women fighting for their freedom Doing the hard things, showing up even when it's scary Women in one-on-one coaching keeping promises to themselves Women in Recovery Collective supporting each other Messages saying "this episode came at the exact right time" You inspire her every single day You remind her why she does this work You remind her that recovery is possible Thank you for trusting her with your stories #2: Recovery Is a Journey That it's not linear Constantly evolving, growing, teaching Used to think recovery meant "fixed" - arriving at perfection But recovery taught her it's not about arriving, it's the JOURNEY Learning and growing and evolving Becoming more of who she's meant to be, one choice at a time Grateful she gets to keep learning and discovering Grateful she gets to mess up and extend herself grace Recovery isn't a destination - it's a way of life Choosing yourself every day #3: Keeping Promises  This might sound small, but it's everything For so long, she broke every promise to herself Every broken promise reinforced she couldn't trust herself Recovery taught her that keeping promises builds self-trust Proves to herself she's worthy of showing up for Now she keeps her promises - not perfectly, but consistently That has changed everything She can look in the mirror and know when she says she'll do something, she does it That's freedom. That's recovery. Your Gratitude Invitation What are YOU thankful for this season? It might feel hard, especially if yesterday was rough But look for it anyway - gratitude doesn't require perfection Maybe you're thankful you made it through Thanksgiving (even if messy) Maybe you're thankful for one person who showed up for you Maybe you're thankful you're still here, still fighting, still trying Maybe you're thankful for your body (even if you don't love it) because it's carrying you Maybe you're thankful that recovery is possible, even if you're not there yet Find it. Write it down. Speak it out loud. Let yourself feel it. Gratitude is a practice - the more we practice, the more we can access it Black Friday Investment Opportunity Today is Black Friday - you're getting a million emails about sales But Lindsey wants to offer something different: investing in YOURSELF The best investment you'll ever make is in your own healing Two special opportunities available today through Sunday Special Black Friday Offers (Through Sunday Only): Option 1: Recovery Collective - $47/month What You Get: Live group coaching calls every other week (one hour each) Texting chat community for support between calls Connection with other women who GET IT Accountability, tools, and strategies for your recovery journey This is for you if: You need community and support You want guidance but aren't ready for one-on-one yet You're tired of doing this alone You want connection with women who understand Join here: www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  Option 2: One-on-One Personalized Coaching - $500 OFF What You Get: Weekly coaching sessions customized for YOU Someone walking beside you every single week A plan specifically for YOUR challenges, triggers, and recovery path Personalized, intensive support to get from where you are to where you want to be This is for you if: You're ready for customized, personalized support You want someone in your corner weekly You need a plan made specifically for you You're done doing this alone How to Claim Either Offer: Go to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application. These offers are ONLY available through Sunday. Limited spots available. If you're thinking: "This is my sign" - it is "I can't do this alone anymore" - you don't have to "I'm ready to invest in myself" - Lindsey is here for you Black Friday isn't just about buying things. It's about investing in what matters. And YOU matter. Your recovery matters. Your freedom matters. Key Takeaways: ✨ You made it through Thanksgiving - even if it was hard, you're here ✨ Gratitude doesn't require perfection or having it all together ✨ There was a season Lindsey couldn't FEEL gratitude - she was too numb, too consumed ✨ Recovery gave her the ability to feel gratitude again - that's possible for you too ✨ Lindsey is grateful for: her clients/listeners, recovery as a journey, keeping promises to herself ✨ You can find gratitude even in the struggle - even if it's small ✨ Recovery isn't a destination, it's a journey - constantly evolving and growing ✨ Keeping promises to yourself builds self-trust and proves you're worth showing up for ✨ The best investment you'll ever make is in your own healing ✨ Black Friday offers available through Sunday: Recovery Collective $47/month or $500 off 1-on-1 Powerful Quotes from This Episode: "Maybe yesterday was really hard for you. Maybe you broke a boundary. Maybe you're beating yourself up. You made it through. You're here." "Gratitude doesn't require perfection. It doesn't require having it all together. It doesn't require that yesterday went well" "Gratitude just requires being willing to look for the light, even in the hard" "There was a season of my life when I couldn't feel grateful for anything. I literally couldn't FEEL it" "I was so consumed, so numb, so disconnected from myself that I couldn't access those feelings" "Recovery gave me my gratitude back. It gave me the ability to not just say I'm thankful, but to actually FEEL it" "You inspire me every single day. You remind me why I do this work" "Recovery isn't a destination. It's a way of life. It's choosing yourself every day" "Keeping promises to myself is how I build trust with myself" "That's freedom, girlfriend. That's recovery" "Gratitude is a practice. The more we practice it, the more we can access it" "The best investment you'll ever make is in your own healing" "Black Friday isn't just about buying things. It's about investing in what matters" "YOU matter. Your recovery matters. Your freedom matters" Gratitude Practice for You: Your Invitation: Write down 3 things you're thankful for this season. Prompts if You're Struggling: What's one thing that went RIGHT yesterday (even if small)? Who is one person in your corner? What's one thing your body did for you yesterday? What's one step you've taken in recovery (no matter how small)? What's one hope you have for your future? What's one thing you can appreciate about yourself today? Remember: It doesn't have to be big It doesn't have to be perfect It can be messy It can be hard to find That's okay - you're practicing The Practice: Write it down (in your Tarjay journal!) Speak it out loud Let yourself feel it, even for just a moment Come back to it when things get hard Questions to Reflect On: About Yesterday: How do you feel about how Thanksgiving went? Are you beating yourself up about something? What's one thing you can give yourself grace for? Did you make it through? (If yes, that counts!) About Gratitude: When was the last time you felt genuine gratitude? What made that moment different? What's blocking you from feeling grateful today? Can you practice looking for light even in the hard? About Your Recovery: Are you doing this alone or do you have support? What would change if you had community? What would change if you had personalized guidance? What's holding you back from investing in yourself? About Black Friday: What are you investing in today? What if you invested in YOUR healing instead of just "stuff"? What would it mean to prioritize yourself? Is this your sign to finally get support? Who This Episode Is For: This mini episode is for you if: Yesterday (Thanksgiving) was really hard You're beating yourself up today You barely survived Thanksgiving dinner You feel exhausted and triggered You can't feel gratitude right now You're numb and disconnected You made it through but don't feel proud You want to find gratitude but don't know how You need a reminder that you're not alone You're considering getting support but haven't yet You've been doing this alone and you're tired You're ready to invest in yourself You need community or personalized guidance You want to make next Thanksgiving different Why This Episode Matters: Timing: Released the day after Thanksgiving when: You're exhausted from surviving yesterday You might be triggered or beating yourself up You're looking for hope and encouragement You're in the mindset of investment (Black Friday) You're thinking about what you want to be different next year Message: You don't have to be perfect to practice gratitude. You don't have to have a "good" Thanksgiving to find things to be thankful for. And you don't have to do recovery alone. Opportunity: Special Black Friday offers make this the PERFECT time to invest in yourself and get the support you need so next year is different. Ready to Invest in Your Recovery? Don't Wait Until Next Thanksgiving to Get Support You just survived another Thanksgiving trapped in the eating disorder. You made it through, but was it how you want to live? Next year can be different. But only if you get support NOW. Two Options Available Through Sunday: Recovery Collective - $47/month Group support, bi-weekly calls, texting community. You're not alone anymore. One-on-One Coaching - $500 OFF Personalized support, weekly sessions, custom plan for YOU. Finally get the guidance you need. Apply now at herbestself.co Offers end Sunday. Limited spots available. This is your sign. This is your moment. Invest in yourself. Connect with Lindsey Website: www.herbestself.co  Private Facebook Community: Her Best Self Society www.herbestselfsociety.com  1:1 Client Applications: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms . Subscribe & Review: If this episode resonated with you—please subscribe to Her Best Self wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Your reviews help other women who are tired of perfectionism and living trapped in their mind and body find this show and realize they're not alone. Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear the truth! About the Host Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom. If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Your family doesn't understand your eating disorder. They make comments about your food. They trigger you at every holiday gathering. You're walking on eggshells, feeling attacked, and wondering if recovery is even possible around them. Girlfriend, this episode is for you. Host Lindsey Nichol shares an incredibly vulnerable moment - her mom called crying after listening to the podcast for the first time, saying "I had no idea what I was doing during your recovery. I just knew I needed to help you." This emotional conversation revealed a profound truth: families don't understand because they're trying to understand while dealing with their own pain. In this powerful episode, Lindsey addresses both sides of the struggle - what to do when your family doesn't understand your eating disorder, AND what loved ones need to know about supporting someone in recovery. Because the truth is, hurt people hurt people. And your family's "attacks" might actually be their way of coping with fear, denial, and their own feelings of helplessness. Whether you're dreading Thanksgiving dinner, anxious about Christmas gatherings, or just trying to survive family events without being triggered - this episode gives you the boundaries, scripts, and strategies you need to protect your recovery while staying connected to the people you love. This is for you if you're struggling. This is for you if you're supporting someone. This is for all of us navigating the complexity of family, recovery, and the holidays. In This Episode, You'll Hear: Lindsey's Mom's Tearful Phone Call Her mom called crying after listening to the podcast for the first time "I had no idea what I was doing through your healing journey" "I just knew you were my only child and I wasn't gonna have it" How she educated herself about eating disorders but still felt lost "Most of the time I had no idea what to do next" The growth that's happened over the years in their relationship Why this conversation was so powerful and needed The Truth About Family Not Understanding When your family doesn't understand, it can be paralyzing Even though Lindsey's mom didn't understand HOW to support her, she loved her The message: Love doesn't always know how to show up correctly There is so much happening in your mind that family can't see The growth that happens over time as you work through recovery together Why This Matters for YOU You don't have to sit in this mess and let it become who you are This is just a speed bump in your journey If you're a parent struggling with what to do next, you don't have to have it all figured out It's important to get as educated as possible to support your loved one The importance of boundaries on BOTH sides during recovery The Reality: Your ED Affects Everyone This illness affects and hurts every person close to you Yes, it's isolating, but it echoes to everyone around you like dominoes You can be in your own feelings thinking it's not harming people, but it is If you don't have energy, you're snapping at your kids If you aren't nourishing yourself, you're not giving your best to others You may be triggered by family comments, but they're dealing with their own emotions too Why Your Family Seems Unsupportive Everyone in your life has their own way of coping with what you're struggling with If you're resisting recovery, your family might be resisting change too They may seem unsupportive or attacking, but this is THEIR way of handling and coping Lindsey's mom was terrified and avoiding judgment from others She told NO ONE - not even immediate family She took it on as self-blame: "What did I do wrong as a parent?" Your illness is NOT isolated - it's impacting everyone, even if it feels isolating to you The Walking on Eggshells Reality Lindsey's mom felt like she was walking on eggshells She never knew if she'd trigger Lindsey or push her in the opposite direction She never knew what mood Lindsey was in or what she'd eaten last When she asked questions, it was to gain understanding But Lindsey couldn't give that understanding because she was trying to figure it out herself There was positive intent 9 times out of 10 Even anger or denial often comes from positive intent The Phases of Denial Lindsey was in denial of the disorder Her mom was ALSO in denial that this could happen to her child Her mom was angry - all those feelings were valid and real Being in denial works in many ways on both sides You might not feel "sick enough" but that's not the point Even loved ones go through phases of denial before they can help Hurt People Hurt People This is how pain gets passed on generation after generation Lindsey doesn't want you to just break chains of ED She wants you to break chains FOR your loved ones and yourself Meet anger with kindness and understanding Be compassionate while honoring your path This is hard because we want to be left alone in the disorder Boundaries & Strategies You Can Set: Strategy #1: Use Your Voice Brené Brown says: "When we are busy pleasing and perfecting and performing, we end up saying yes a lot when we mean no." Use your voice Share with people closest to you where you are in your journey Share where you are in your struggle This was the hardest thing - Lindsey didn't share, she just dealt with her own stuff She wasn't ready to share when she was being probed Share if they're SAFE people (this is important) Ask them for support Ask them for what you need from them Why This Matters: If you're a people pleaser, this is hard. But if your support system is trying to fix or please you, they actually NEED something to do. Give them something to do that makes them feel like they're helping. Strategy #2: Have the Hard Conversations Let people in your circle know how they can show up for you in hard times Have those vulnerable moments Lindsey wishes she would have done this Hear them and remain open-minded Let them share their feelings too Strategy #3: Decide Your Boundaries & SHARE Them What to Say: "I know that you care about me, but comments about my food choices right now aren't helpful for my recovery journey" "I appreciate you and I know that you love me, but I'm working with a care team and professionals to help guide my journey and health forward" "I need to heal my relationship with my food, so I'm going to remove myself from any diet conversations or triggering discussions this holiday season because I don't want to absorb that. It's the opposite of what I'm trying to do" Strategy #4: Pre-Plan to Ease Overwhelm As you go into the holiday season with family gatherings and events: Have self-care practices in place Know your go-to's for triggering situations Sometimes this looks like an EXIT STRATEGY Lindsey's Example: Even YEARS after recovering from anorexia, she'd go to Thanksgiving wondering: Are people watching if Lindsay takes the roll? Are they watching if Lindsay has stuffing? If she only has a bite of pie vs. a slice, does that mean she's struggling again? She felt like people were watching her in a fish tank The Truth: That was HER stuff. Even if they ARE watching, you're strong in your decision-making. You're strong in your truth. You know you're for YOU. Strategy #5: Have an Exit Strategy If you're going to be around someone super triggering: Share your voice Speak your truth Be true to you Go with other people BUT if you get super triggered, know that's not going to help you hours or days after Have an EXIT STRATEGY ready It's okay to focus on recovery while participating in traditions Strategy #6: Reflect on Your Growth How am I different this Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year than last year? How has my mind grown? How has my heart grown? What are my dreams? The Reality: When you're stuck in the disorder, you can't have dreams because it robs you of thinking further along than the current moment. All you can think about is what you can eat next or can't. Strategy #7: Put Yourself Around Understanding People Take care of YOU. Spend time with people who understand where you are. But even if they DON'T understand - boundaries provide healthy structure. The Truth: You're a structure queen. Structure is essential in building anything that lasts and thrives. You've got to have healthy structure. Boundaries = valuing you + bettering you For Loved Ones & Supporters: If You're Supporting Someone With an ED: Your Boundaries Are Just As Important When Lindsey's mom was trying to help, fix, and do all the things - she wasn't taking care of HERSELF She wasn't honoring her own needs She was walking on eggshells worried something she said would set Lindsey off Setting boundaries isn't about pushing that person away That's actually ENABLING them by isolating them more into the disorder What to Say: "I feel like there is something going on with you. I want to support you. I'm seeing changes in you. I want to help you, and right now maybe I don't even know what that looks like, but I just want you to feel seen and loved by me. I want to hold your hand. When you need me - and we all will have that breakdown mode - I'm here." When They Pull Away: Sometimes when somebody pulls away, it means they need space to process. Lindsey's Truth: She knew what her mom was telling her was the truth because she loved and looked up to her. Part of her heart already KNEW. Part of her was searching for someone to say it. But she was feeling all these different feelings. Brain Dump Your Feelings Whether you're the one struggling OR the caretaker - brain dump all those feelings. That's part of healing. Remember: Hurt people hurt people. Key Takeaways: ✨ When your family doesn't understand, it's paralyzing - but love doesn't always know how to show up correctly ✨ Your eating disorder affects EVERYONE close to you, even if it feels isolating ✨ People that love you usually mean well - they're just not sure HOW to mean well ✨ Your family's "attacks" are often their way of coping with fear, denial, and helplessness ✨ Hurt people hurt people - pain gets passed on generation after generation ✨ Use your voice - share where you are with SAFE people and ask for what you need ✨ Boundaries value you and better you - they create space to heal ✨ Have an exit strategy for triggering holiday situations ✨ Pre-plan your self-care practices before family gatherings ✨ Setting boundaries isn't pushing family away - it's creating space you need to heal ✨ Your recovery journey deserves respect and protection ✨ If you're a supporter, your boundaries are just as important ✨ When someone pulls away, they often just need space to process Questions to Reflect On: About Your Family: Does your family understand what you're going through? Do you feel attacked or on defense around them? Have you shared where you are in your journey with safe people? What do you need from them that you haven't asked for? Are you resisting their help because you're not ready? About Your Boundaries: What boundaries do you need to set this holiday season? Have you shared those boundaries clearly? Do you have an exit strategy for triggering situations? What self-care practices do you have in place? Are you putting yourself around understanding people? About Your Growth: How are you different this year than last year? How has your mind grown? How has your heart grown? What are your dreams now? Can you think beyond the current moment? If You're a Supporter: Are you taking care of yourself while supporting your loved one? Are you setting your own boundaries? Are you walking on eggshells worried you'll set them off? Have you asked them what they need instead of assuming? Are you creating space for them to process? Ready to Navigate the Holidays With Support? Don't Face the Holidays Alone If you need support this season because you don't have that support person, or no one understands you, or you feel like no one does - Lindsey doesn't want you to go at this alone. Even with a healthy support system, you should work with somebody who's been there and gone through an eating disorder. Why It Matters: How do we teach our kids to ride a bike if we've never ridden a bike before? It's so important to work with a professional who understands right where you are. How to Get Support: Visit www.herbestself.co to fill out a client application and get on the books for the new year. You deserve to have a wonderful holiday. Focus on setting personal boundaries for yourself AND for your loved ones. Option 1: The Recovery Collective Join Lindsey's group coaching program where you'll get: Community support from women who understand Weekly guidance and tools Accountability for hard days Strategies for stomach triggers and body image struggles Option 2: One-on-One Personalized Coaching work directly with Lindsey for: Custom plan for YOUR triggers and challenges Weekly support and accountability Tools specific to your recovery journey Personal guidance through the hardest moments Learn more about both options at www.herbestself.co You don't have to navigate this alone. Let's walk through recovery together. Connect with Lindsey Website: www.herbestself.co  Private Facebook Community: Her Best Self Society www.herbestselfsociety.com  1:1 Client Applications: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms . Subscribe & Review: If this episode resonated with you—if you saw yourself in Lindsey's rejection story—please subscribe to Her Best Self wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Your reviews help other women who are tired of perfectionism and people-pleasing find this show and realize they're not alone. Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear the truth! About the Host Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom. If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Okay girlfriend, we're going there. We're talking about the thing nobody talks about when it comes to eating disorders: sex, intimacy, and what's happening (or NOT happening) in your bedroom. If you've noticed your sex drive has disappeared, you're avoiding intimacy with your partner, you can't be present during sex because you're too busy worrying about what your body looks like, or your relationship is suffering and you don't know why - this episode is for you. Host Lindsey Nichol gets incredibly vulnerable about her own experience with blocked intimacy during her eating disorder - how she was physically shut down, emotionally unavailable, and performing instead of experiencing. She shares the research-backed reasons why eating disorders completely sabotage intimacy (spoiler: your body is literally in survival mode), and gives you practical tools to address it. This isn't just about emotional connection - we're talking about SEX. Physical intimacy. The bedroom. Your relationship with your spouse or partner. Because your eating disorder isn't just stealing your relationship with food and your body. It's stealing your relationship with your partner too. In this episode, you'll learn: The 5 reasons why intimacy gets completely blocked when you have an eating disorder Why your libido has disappeared (hint: hormones, energy, survival mode) How body shame follows you into the bedroom Why you can't experience pleasure when you're disconnected from your body How to check your "intimacy temperature" and get honest about where you are Exactly what to say to your partner about what's going on Practical steps to start reconnecting This is real talk. This is vulnerable. This is the conversation we need to have. So grab your favorite Tarjay journal and let's get into it. Content Note: This episode discusses sexual intimacy and eating disorders openly. Best listened to in a private space. In This Episode, You'll Hear: Lindsey's Vulnerable Truth What intimacy looked like when she was in the thick of her eating disorder Being in a relationship while physically and emotionally shut down Not being present during sex - performing instead of experiencing Constantly worried about what her body looked like during intimacy Anxious thoughts: "Is my stomach flat enough? Can he feel certain parts? Should the lights be off? Should I keep my shirt on?" The realization: She wasn't experiencing intimacy, she was performing it The Research Nobody Talks About Women with eating disorders experience significantly higher rates of sexual dysfunction Lower libido, avoidance of intimacy, relationship dissatisfaction are common We suffer in silence, fake it, avoid it, make excuses And our relationships suffer while we pretend everything is fine The Question We're Answering Why is intimacy blocked when you struggle with an eating disorder? And what can you actually DO about it? The 5 Reasons Why Intimacy Gets Blocked: Reason #1: Your Body is Literally Shutting Down When you restrict food, your body goes into survival mode Sex, reproduction, intimacy are NOT essential for survival Your hormones tank: estrogen, progesterone, testosterone plummet Your libido disappears completely You lose your period (amenorrhea) Your energy is non-existent Research shows women with anorexia and bulimia have significantly disrupted hormone levels All of these hormones impact sexual desire and function If you have zero sex drive, if intimacy feels like a chore, if you're exhausted - your body is saying "I don't have resources for this" Your body is trying to keep you alive, not reproduce Reason #2: You're Disconnected From Your Body When you spend every day hating, criticizing, punishing your body - you disconnect You dissociate from physical sensations The problem: You can't experience pleasure in a body you're not connected to Intimacy requires being IN your body, feeling sensations, being present But when you're trapped in your head analyzing what you look like - you're performing, not experiencing Research: Women with eating disorders report significantly higher body image concerns during sexual activity This directly correlates with lower sexual satisfaction and avoidance behaviors You can't enjoy intimacy when you're worried about appearance the entire time Reason #3: The Shame is Paralyzing Body shame doesn't stay in the mirror - it follows you into the bedroom When you feel disgusting in your own skin, how are you supposed to let someone see it? Touch it? The shame is so heavy that many women avoid intimacy altogether Making excuses, shutting down, pulling away Being vulnerable and exposed when you feel shame about your body is terrifying Intimacy requires vulnerability - shame blocks that completely Reason #4: You're Emotionally Unavailable When you're consumed by an eating disorder, there's no room for anything else Your entire mental and emotional bandwidth is taken up by food thoughts, body checking, planning, restricting, compensating You don't have capacity to show up emotionally for your partner Can't connect, can't be present, can't be intimate beyond the physical act Intimacy requires emotional availability When your eating disorder is screaming 24/7, you're not available - you're surviving Reason #5: Control Issues Prevent Vulnerability Eating disorders are about CONTROL Intimacy requires letting GO of control, being vulnerable, surrendering If you can't let go of control long enough to eat without anxiety, how can you surrender during intimacy? The same rigidity and need for control with food shows up in the bedroom It blocks true intimacy completely The Impact on Your Relationship: What This Means: Distance and disconnection in your relationship Your partner might feel rejected, confused, helpless They might think you're not attracted to them anymore They might think they did something wrong You feel guilty, broken, like you're failing at one more thing "I can't do anything right - not food, not my body, and now not my relationship" The Truth You Need to Hear: This is not a personal failure. This is a SYMPTOM of your eating disorder. Just like: Restriction is a symptom Body checking is a symptom Blocked intimacy is a symptom The Hope: Research shows that as women recover from eating disorders, sexual function, desire, and satisfaction improve SIGNIFICANTLY. Recovery doesn't just give you food freedom - it gives you intimacy freedom too. If your relationship is suffering, recovery is the answer. Not just for food. Not just for your body. But for your relationship too. What You Can Do About It (6 Action Steps): Step 1: Check Your Intimacy Temperature Get honest with yourself. On a scale of 1-10, where is your intimacy RIGHT NOW? Not where you think it should be. Not where it used to be. Where is it TODAY? Ask yourself: Am I avoiding intimacy? Am I going through the motions? Am I anxious the entire time? Am I emotionally checked out? Is my libido non-existent? Am I making excuses to avoid it? Get real about what's actually happening. You can't change what you won't acknowledge. Step 2: Recognize This is an ED Symptom Stop blaming yourself. Stop thinking you're broken or wrong or failing. This blocked intimacy is a SYMPTOM of your eating disorder. Your body is depleted. Your hormones are disrupted. You're disconnected. You're consumed. This isn't about: Not loving your partner enough Being inadequate Being broken Personal failure This is about your eating disorder stealing one MORE thing from you. Name it for what it is: An eating disorder symptom. Step 3: Bring It Into the Light - Talk to Your Partner This is the scariest step, but it's the most important. You have to talk to your spouse or partner about what's going on. When to Have This Conversation: NOT in the moment NOT during intimacy In a calm, safe space where you can be honest What to Say (Script): "Hey, I need to talk to you about something that's been hard for me. I've been struggling with my relationship with food and my body, and it's affecting our intimacy. I want you to know it has nothing to do with you or how I feel about you. My body is depleted, my hormones are off, and I'm having a hard time being present. I'm working on it, but I need you to know what's going on." You Don't Need: All the answers A complete plan To have everything figured out You Just Need: To be honest about what's happening To help them understand it's not about them To let them in instead of shutting them out Step 4: Start Small With Reconnection You don't have to fix everything overnight. Start somewhere small. Ideas: Physical touch that's NOT sexual - holding hands, cuddling, hugging Reconnecting with non-sexual physical intimacy first Being honest when you're not in the mood instead of forcing it or avoiding it Working on being present - staying in your body during intimacy instead of in your head Taking pressure off yourself and your partner Just start. Somewhere. Anywhere. Step 5: Work on Body Acceptance You don't have to LOVE your body to be intimate. But you do have to accept that your body is allowed to: Exist Be touched Experience pleasure Take up space This is work: Therapy work Coaching work Recovery work Daily practice work The more you work on accepting your body (not loving it, just ACCEPTING it), the more available you'll be for intimacy. Step 6: Prioritize Your Recovery If you want intimacy back in your relationship, you MUST prioritize recovery. Because the eating disorder is the blocker. What This Looks Like: Get support (coach, therapist, dietitian) Join a community Do the work of nourishing your body Work through the shame Address the control issues Heal the disconnection Recovery gives you: Food freedom Body peace Your relationship back Intimacy freedom Key Takeaways: ✨ Your ED isn't just stealing food freedom - it's stealing intimacy too ✨ Blocked intimacy is a SYMPTOM, not a personal failure ✨ Your body is in survival mode - sex is not a priority when you're starving ✨ You can't experience pleasure in a body you're disconnected from ✨ Body shame follows you into the bedroom and paralyzes intimacy ✨ You're emotionally unavailable because the ED consumes all your bandwidth ✨ Control issues with food show up as control issues with intimacy ✨ Research shows recovery improves sexual function, desire, and satisfaction ✨ You need to talk to your partner - bring it into the light ✨ Start small: reconnect with non-sexual touch first ✨ Body acceptance (not love) opens the door to intimacy ✨ Recovery gives you your relationship back Powerful Quotes from This Episode: "Let me just be really honest with you. When I was in the thick of my eating disorder, intimacy was one of the first things to go" "I wasn't experiencing intimacy. I was performing it. And I was anxious the entire time" "Research shows that women with eating disorders experience significantly higher rates of sexual dysfunction, lower libido, avoidance of intimacy, and relationship dissatisfaction" "But we don't talk about it. We suffer in silence. We fake it. We avoid it. We make excuses" "When you're restricting food, your body goes into survival mode. And guess what's not essential for survival? Sex. Reproduction. Intimacy" "You can't experience pleasure in a body you're not connected to" "Intimacy requires you to be IN your body. But when you're trapped in your head analyzing what you look like - you're performing" "Body shame doesn't stay in the mirror. It follows you into the bedroom" "When you're consumed by an eating disorder, there's no room for anything else" "Eating disorders are about control. And intimacy requires letting go of control" "This is not a personal failure. This is a symptom of your eating disorder" "Recovery doesn't just give you food freedom - it gives you intimacy freedom too" "If your relationship is suffering, recovery is the answer" "You can't change what you won't acknowledge" "Stop blaming yourself. This blocked intimacy is a SYMPTOM" "You don't have to have all the answers. You just have to be honest about what's happening" "You don't have to love your body to be intimate. But you do have to accept it" "Your eating disorder has stolen enough from you. Don't let it steal your intimacy too" Research-Backed Information: Sexual Dysfunction & Eating Disorders: Women with eating disorders experience significantly higher rates of sexual dysfunction Lower libido is common across all ED types Avoidance of intimacy and relationship dissatisfaction are prevalent Hormone Disruption: Women with anorexia and bulimia have significantly disrupted hormone levels Estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone all tank during restriction These hormones directly impact sexual desire and function Amenorrhea (loss of period) is common and signals reproductive system shutdown Body Image During Sex: Women with EDs report significantly higher body image concerns during sexual activity Body image concerns during sex directly correlate with lower sexual satisfaction This creates avoidance behaviors and performance anxiety Recovery Improves Everything: As women recover from eating disorders, sexual function improves Desire returns as hormones regulate Satisfaction increases as body acceptance grows Recovery restores intimacy capacity Questions to Reflect On: About Your Intimacy: On a scale of 1-10, where is your intimacy right now? Are you avoiding intimacy? How often? Are you going through the motions or truly present? What are you thinking about during intimacy? (Your body? His reaction? What you look like?) When did intimacy start feeling like a chore instead of connection? About Your Body: Do you insist on lights off? Shirt on? Certain positions only? Are you disconnected from physical sensations during sex? Can you feel pleasure or are you too in your head? What body parts are you most self-conscious about during intimacy? About Your Partner: Have you talked to them about what's going on? Do they know you're struggling with an eating disorder? Do they understand why intimacy has changed? Are you making excuses or being honest? About Your Recovery: Is blocked intimacy motivation for you to prioritize recovery? What would it mean to get intimacy back in your relationship? Are you willing to do the work to heal this area too? What's one small step you can take today? Who This Episode Is For: This episode is essential listening if you: Have noticed your sex drive has completely disappeared Avoid intimacy with your partner or spouse Go through the motions but aren't present during sex Can't stop thinking about what your body looks like during intimacy Insist on lights off, shirt on, or specific positions to hide your body Feel anxious or panicked about being intimate Make excuses to avoid sex Feel guilty about avoiding your partner Feel broken or like you're failing at your relationship Have a partner who feels rejected or confused Want to understand WHY this is happening Need practical tools to start reconnecting Are married or in a long-term relationship Are ready to bring this into the light and talk about it Want your relationship back Need to know recovery can restore intimacy The Conversation Starter (What to Say): The Script: "Hey, I need to talk to you about something that's been hard for me. I've been struggling with my relationship with food and my body, and it's affecting our intimacy. I want you to know it has nothing to do with you or how I feel about you. My body is depleted, my hormones are off, and I'm having a hard time being present. I'm working on it, but I need you to know what's going on." Why This Works: Acknowledges there's a problem Takes responsibility without self-blame Reassures your partner it's not about them Explains the physical reality (hormones, depletion) Shows you're working on it Opens the door for support What Happens Next: They might have questions They might be relieved you're talking about it They might not fully understand (and that's okay) The important thing is you brought it into the light Important Truths About Intimacy & EDs: Your Libido Disappearing is NOT Your Fault: It's biology. Your body is in survival mode. Sex is not essential for survival. Your hormones are disrupted. This is a symptom. You're Not Broken: Your body is responding exactly as it should to starvation and restriction. This is protective, not defective. Your Partner Isn't the Problem: Even if you're attracted to them, your body can't prioritize sexual function right now. This isn't about attraction. Shame is the Enemy: The shame you feel about your body during intimacy is what's blocking connection. The body itself isn't the problem - the shame is. Recovery Restores Everything: This isn't permanent. As you nourish your body, your hormones will regulate. Your libido will return. Your ability to be present will come back. Intimacy can be restored. You Deserve Intimacy: Even with an eating disorder, you deserve connection, pleasure, and intimacy. But you have to do the recovery work to get there. Ready for Support? Work with Lindsey One-on-One: If you're ready to prioritize your recovery - not just for food freedom, but for your relationship too - Lindsey offers personalized recovery coaching where you work through: The food piece The body image piece The relationship piece The intimacy piece ALL of it Your relationship deserves you showing up fully. Your partner deserves you being present. YOU deserve to experience intimacy without shame, anxiety, or the ED blocking it. Recovery gives you that. And Lindsey is here to help you get there. Ready for Support? Option 1: The Recovery Collective Join Lindsey's group coaching program where you'll get: Community support from women who understand Weekly guidance and tools Accountability for hard days Strategies for stomach triggers and body image struggles Option 2: One-on-One Personalized Coaching work directly with Lindsey for: Custom plan for YOUR triggers and challenges Weekly support and accountability Tools specific to your recovery journey Personal guidance through the hardest moments Learn more about both options at www.herbestself.co You don't have to navigate this alone. Let's walk through recovery together. Connect with Lindsey Website: www.herbestself.co  Private Facebook Community: Her Best Self Society www.herbestselfsociety.com  1:1 Client Applications: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms . Subscribe & Review: If this episode resonated with you—if you saw yourself in Lindsey's rejection story—please subscribe to Her Best Self wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Your reviews help other women who are tired of perfectionism and people-pleasing find this show and realize they're not alone. Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear the truth! About the Host Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom. If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Girlfriend, if you're struggling with self-worth, feeling like you'll never measure up, or can't separate yourself from your eating disorder - this episode is for you. Host Lindsey Nichol shares an incredibly vulnerable and inspiring episode about finding worth from within and discovering your true identity beyond the eating disorder. After a powerful moment during yoga listening to Lauren Daigle's "You Say," Lindsey was reminded of a truth that changed everything: You are not your eating disorder. Your true, authentic self lives underneath all of that. In this encouraging episode, Lindsey walks you through: Why eating disorders consume our identity over time How to separate yourself from the disorder The trap of measuring your worth by external things (weight, appearance, achievements, others' opinions) A beautiful self-compassion exercise you can do right now when you feel unworthy How to cultivate self-acceptance and kindness toward yourself The difference between your false identity (the ED) and your true identity (who you really are) This isn't just inspiration - this is an invitation to remember who you are beyond the eating disorder. To find worth from within. To practice self-compassion on the hard days. And to stop settling for a false version of yourself. If you're having a down day or need encouragement, grab your favorite Tarjay journal and let's sit together. You are worthy just because you are. In This Episode, You'll Hear: The Yoga Moment: Lauren Daigle's "You Say" How Lindsey was practicing yoga with Christian music When Lauren Daigle's song "You Say" came on and brought all the feels The powerful lyrics about fighting voices that say "I'm not enough" How the song speaks about finding worth and identity The theme of surrender: laying failures and victories at God's feet Why Lindsey encourages everyone (Christian or not) to listen to this song The Worth Trap: Measuring Yourself by External Things How people struggling with eating disorders tie worth to external factors The trap: worth measured by weight, appearance, achievements, what others think Why this gives temporary relief but not lasting joy How it leaves you feeling you'll never measure up or be enough The cycle of seeking external validation that never satisfies Identity Consumed: You Are Not Your Eating Disorder The truth: Eating disorders consume our identity over time In order to truly heal, we must separate ourselves from the disorder Your true, authentic, best self is NOT the voice on repeat in your mind That voice saying you're not enough, you'll never measure up, you're weak - that's the ED, not you Your real self, your warrior self, your champion self lives underneath The false identity vs. the true identity Finding Worth From Within (And Above) Your identity must be rooted in who you are at your core Your journey to internal worth is filtered by false identity right now Your true, authentic identity lives underneath all of that You're worthy just because you ARE - you cannot earn it For those with faith: trusting that God has you right where you are For everyone: your worth is inherent, not earned Creating Awareness: The Identity Shift How to become aware that you are not your eating disorder Observing the difference between your thoughts and the ED's thoughts Getting in community with people who support and build you up Listening to music that reminds you of truth Investing in yourself and seeking support (coaching, therapy, community) The importance of separating yourself from the disorder voice The Self-Compassion Research Kristin Neff: world-leading expert on self-compassion Research on self-compassion's impact on positive mental health What self-compassion means: treating yourself with love and understanding Even when life is full of pain and failure, choosing kind words over criticism Choosing to stop judging yourself and start honoring yourself Leaning into believing there is more for you Mindful Awareness Practice Eating disorders are framed around exaggerated, negative beliefs The ability to observe negative thoughts with clarity and openness Learning that feelings and thoughts aren't truths - they're just feelings and thoughts It's okay to not feel enough in this moment - that doesn't mean you aren't enough This moment doesn't define your forever The land of "not knowing what to do next" is temporary The Self-Compassion Exercise: Hand Over Heart A guided practice you can do right now (or come back to) Think of your biggest challenge - the thing you're most terrified of Place your hand over your heart Feel the warmth, the touch, the beat Acknowledge: You're human. You're here. You have purpose. You're worthy just because Let the heaviness of the challenge be there - don't fight it Breathe in, breathe out the heaviness Talk to yourself with compassion: "This is just a season" Validate the hard: "This moment is so hard. This day is so much. I'm scared" Let the feeling sit, then breathe it out - it's temporary Offer kindness as you would to your best friend or daughter "I can do hard things. I can embrace the journey. Maybe this is exactly where I need to be" The Truth About Your Worth You're not designed for everyone to like you You're not designed for everyone to find you worthy You're not designed to pull up a chair to everybody's table There is a radical need for YOUR uniqueness in this world When external factors weigh on you, it's a trap giving temporary relief Stop signing up for it. Stop settling for this version of life This isn't your authentic self. You're designed for more Healing means choosing YOU daily What You're Worth You're worth finding what makes you tick You're worth finding what foods you enjoy again You're worth stepping into the unknown with grace You're worth knowing, loving, and living Don't spend one more day believing you're unworthy ALL of you is worth it Key Takeaways: ✨ You are not your eating disorder - your true self lives underneath the disorder ✨ Eating disorders consume identity over time - healing requires separating yourself from the disorder ✨ Worth measured by external things is a trap - weight, appearance, achievements, others' opinions don't define you ✨ You're worthy just because you ARE - you cannot earn worth, it's inherent ✨ The voice on repeat is not YOU - that critical voice is the eating disorder, not your true self ✨ Self-compassion is research-backed - Kristin Neff's work shows its impact on mental health ✨ Feelings and thoughts aren't truths - they're temporary, not facts ✨ It's okay to not feel enough right now - this moment doesn't mean you aren't enough ✨ Your true identity lives underneath - beyond the false identity of the eating disorder ✨ Healing means choosing you daily - and that's okay, that's the work ✨ You're designed for more - there's a radical need for your uniqueness in this world Powerful Quotes from This Episode: From Lauren Daigle's "You Say": "I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I'm not enough" "Every single lie that tells me that I will never measure up" "You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing" "You say I am strong when I think I am weak" "You say I am held when I am falling short" "In you I find my worth, in you I find my identity" From Lindsey: "Eating disorders consume our identity, and in order to truly heal from them, we have to separate ourselves from the disorder" "You are so trapped in the eating disorder that your worth is tied to your weight, your appearance, what other people think about you, your achievements" "This trap gives you temporary relief and temporary control, but it's not lasting joy" "Your identity has to become so rooted in who you actually are at your core" "Your true, authentic identity lives underneath all of that" "You're worthy just because you are. You cannot earn it" "You are not the eating disorder. You observe" "The voice on repeat in your mind saying you're not enough - that's not your true self" "This is just a season. This is how I want you to talk to you" "This moment is so hard. This day is so much. I'm scared to death. Let that feeling sit there, then breathe it out" "It is just a temporary emotion" "When you challenge and change what's inside of you, everything changes around you" "You are not designed for everyone to like you. You are not designed for everyone to find you worthy" "There is a radical need for your uniqueness in this world" "This is just a trap that is giving you temporary relief. Stop signing up for it" "This isn't your authentic self. You're designed for more" "Healing just means that you're choosing you, and yes you're gonna have to do that on the daily" "You are worth finding. You're worth loving. You're worth living" "Your true and authentic self lies underneath it. We're gonna go on a quest to find out more about her" The Self-Compassion Exercise (Step-by-Step): Step 1: Identify Your Biggest Challenge Think about your biggest challenge right now - the one thing you're most terrified of. Maybe it's weight gain, taking the next step, letting go of control, being honest, or something else. Name it. Step 2: Place Your Hand Over Your Heart If you're able (not driving or operating machinery), place your hand over your heart. Feel: The warmth of your hand The touch against your chest The beat - the thump of your heart Your humanness. You're here. You're alive. Step 3: Acknowledge Your Worth Say to yourself: "I'm human" "I'm here" "I have purpose" "I'm worthy just because" Step 4: Let the Heaviness Be Acknowledge that the challenge feels super heavy. That's not wrong. That's not bad. It just IS. Allow it to be there. Allow the feeling of heaviness. Let it wash over you. Step 5: Breathe Breathe in deeply. Then breathe out the heaviness. This is just a season. Step 6: Talk to Yourself with Compassion Say these words to yourself: "This is just a season when I'm feeling not enough" "This is just a season when I'm feeling stuck" "This moment is so hard. This day is so much" "I'm scared to death" (name the specific fear) "I feel miserable and alone" Let that feeling sit there. Don't push it away. Step 7: Breathe It Out Breathe in. Exhale it out. It is just a temporary emotion. This moment is not permanent. Step 8: Practice Self-Compassion Tell yourself: "This is okay. This is just a season" "This is teaching me about my worth" "This is an experience, an experiment, an observation" "I am learning through this process" "So many people struggle with this - I'm not alone" "I'm human" Step 9: Offer Kindness As though you're speaking to your best friend or your daughter: "I can do hard things" "I can learn to embrace the journey" "I can lean into fear" "Maybe this is exactly where I need to be right now" Step 10: Remember the Truth When you challenge and change what's inside of you, everything changes around you. The Kristin Neff Self-Compassion Research: Who is Kristin Neff? Recognized worldwide as a leading expert on self-compassion and its impact on positive mental health and psychology. What is Self-Compassion? Treating yourself with love and understanding Even in circumstances full of pain and failure Choosing careful words over criticisms Choosing to stop judging yourself Leaning into honoring, nourishing, believing there is more for you Why It Matters in Recovery: Ties into mindful thoughts and awareness Helps you observe negative thoughts and emotions with clarity and openness Teaches you that feelings and thoughts aren't truths - they're just feelings and thoughts Helps separate the eating disorder thoughts from your true thoughts The Connection: Eating disorders are framed around exaggerated, glamorized negative beliefs. Self-compassion creates the space to observe these beliefs without identifying with them. Questions to Reflect On: About Your Identity: Can you separate yourself from your eating disorder? What does your "true self" look like underneath the disorder? When did the eating disorder start consuming your identity? Who are you beyond the eating disorder voice? About Your Worth: What external things are you using to measure your worth? (weight, appearance, achievements, others' opinions) Have these ever given you lasting satisfaction? Can you accept that you're worthy just because you ARE? What would change if you believed you couldn't earn or lose your worth? About Self-Compassion: How do you talk to yourself when things are hard? Would you talk to your best friend or daughter the way you talk to yourself? Can you offer yourself kindness even when life doesn't make sense? What would it feel like to treat yourself with love and understanding? About Your Uniqueness: What makes you uniquely YOU? What did you enjoy before the eating disorder consumed your identity? When's the last time you laughed or did something purely for joy? When's the last time you did something because you enjoyed it, not out of fear or obligation? The Big Questions: What is your biggest challenge right now? What are you most terrified of? What's one thing you can do today to choose yourself? Ready for Support? Option 1: The Recovery Collective Join Lindsey's group coaching program where you'll get: Community support from women who understand Weekly guidance and tools Accountability for hard days Strategies for stomach triggers and body image struggles Option 2: One-on-One Personalized Coaching work directly with Lindsey for: Custom plan for YOUR triggers and challenges Weekly support and accountability Tools specific to your recovery journey Personal guidance through the hardest moments Learn more about both options at www.herbestself.co You don't have to navigate stomach hate alone. Let's walk through this together. Connect with Lindsey Website: www.herbestself.co  Private Facebook Community: Her Best Self Society www.herbestselfsociety.com  1:1 Client Applications: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms . Subscribe & Review: If this episode resonated with you—if you saw yourself in Lindsey's rejection story—please subscribe to Her Best Self wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Your reviews help other women who are tired of perfectionism and people-pleasing find this show and realize they're not alone. Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear that her rejection story can become her redemption story. About the Host Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom. If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.