Her Best Self: Freedom from Disordered Eating, Body Obsession & Perfectionism

There's ONE word that's absolutely destroying your progress in recovery. One word that's keeping you stuck, paralyzed, and living in a constant state of shame and disappointment. That word? Should. And sis, you need to stop shoulding all over yourself. Like, right now. Today. Because every time you tell yourself what you "should" be doing, what you "should" have accomplished by now, where you "should" be in your recovery—you're not motivating yourself. You're actually making it HARDER to take action. In this episode, I'm breaking down the science behind why "should" keeps you stuck, where all these "shoulds" come from in the first place, and giving you 5 powerful reframes you can start using TODAY to break free from the shame cycle and actually move forward. In this episode, you'll discover: The ONE word you need to stop using if you want to become the best version of yourself Where your "shoulds" come from (diet culture, perfectionism, family expectations, trauma, comparison) The science: Why "should" is the language of obligation, not empowerment Research from Stanford showing how "should" keeps your brain stuck in self-criticism instead of problem-solving How "shoulding" shows up specifically in eating disorder recovery Lindsey's personal story: "I should be over this by now" (like a bad boyfriend from 3 months ago) 5 powerful reframes to replace your "shoulds" with choice and compassion Why you're not behind, not failing, and not broken The edge: How to stop using "should" as an excuse to stay stuck A tangible homework assignment to catch yourself "shoulding" and reframe it If you've ever thought "I should eat this," "I should start today," "I should be further along," or "I should be over this by now"—this episode is your wake-up call. Stop shoulding. Start choosing. Become who you're BECOMING, not who you "should" be. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "Every time you tell yourself what you 'should' be doing, what you 'should' have accomplished by now, where you 'should' be in your recovery—you're not motivating yourself. You're actually making it HARDER to take action." 💛 "Your 'shoulds' didn't just appear out of nowhere. They were planted. They were taught. They were absorbed from every message you've ever received about who you're supposed to be." 💛 "These 'shoulds' create this distortion in your mind that where you currently are is SO far behind where you 'should' be. And so you live in this constant state of not enough." 💛 "'Should' is the language of obligation, not empowerment. It's the language of shame, not choice." 💛 "When we focus on what we 'should' be doing but aren't, our brain gets stuck in a loop of self-criticism rather than problem-solving. We're so focused on the gap that we can't actually take action to close it." 💛 "'Should' keeps you stuck focusing on what you AREN'T doing rather than what you ARE doing or COULD do." 💛 "I remember thinking, 'I should be over this by now. It's been YEARS. This is like a bad boyfriend I dated for three months—why am I still thinking about him?' And I felt so much shame." 💛 "I asked a different question: 'But should I? Should I be "over" something that was part of my life for so long? Should I expect perfection from myself?' And the answer? No." 💛 "You are not behind. You are not failing. You are not broken. You're healing. And healing doesn't follow a script." 💛 "If you're constantly 'shoulding' yourself but not taking action, you're using 'should' as an excuse to stay stuck." 💛 "Stop talking about what you 'should' do and start choosing what you WILL do." 💛 "The words you use shape the life you live. And if you're constantly shoulding yourself, you're living in a prison of obligation and shame." THE SCIENCE: WHY "SHOULD" KEEPS YOU STUCK Dr. Albert Ellis, founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, identified "should statements" as one of the core irrational beliefs that lead to emotional disturbance. He called it "shoulding" and "musturbation"—the belief that things MUST or SHOULD be a certain way. When reality doesn't match that "should," we experience anxiety, depression, guilt, and shame. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology study: People who use obligatory language like "should," "must," and "have to" experience higher levels of stress and lower levels of intrinsic motivation compared to people who use choice-based language like "choose to," "want to," or "could." Stanford University research: When we focus on what we "should" be doing but aren't, our brain gets stuck in a loop of self-criticism rather than problem-solving. We're so focused on the gap between where we are and where we "should" be that we can't actually take action to close that gap. The bottom line: "Should" keeps you stuck focusing on what you AREN'T doing rather than what you ARE doing or COULD do. WHERE YOUR "SHOULDS" COME FROM Your "shoulds" were planted, taught, and absorbed from: ❌ Diet culture - You should be smaller, eat clean, have willpower, look like her ❌ Perfectionism - You should have this figured out, be recovered already, do this better ❌ Family expectations - You should make everyone proud, not cause problems, be strong ❌ Past trauma - You should have prevented it, known better, be over it by now ❌ Comparison - You should be as far along as she is, making more progress, be different These create a distortion that where you currently are is SO far behind where you "should" be. And that's exhausting—and it's keeping you stuck. HOW "SHOULDING" SHOWS UP IN ED RECOVERY "I should eat this." → Implies obligation, not choice. Strips away agency. Builds resentment, not trust. "I should start today." → Implies you're behind, late, already failed before you begin. Starts with shame instead of hope. "I should be further along by now." → Assumes there's a timeline you're supposed to be on. Ignores YOUR unique journey. "I should be able to eat normally." → Rooted in comparison and unrealistic expectations. Ignores the reality of YOUR story. "I should be over this by now." → The killer. Creates shame for being human and healing at your own pace. LINDSEY'S PERSONAL STORY Years into recovery, Lindsey still had moments where the eating disorder voice crept back in. One day she thought: "I should be over this by now. It's been YEARS. This is like a bad boyfriend I dated for three months—why am I still thinking about him?" She felt intense shame. What's wrong with me? Why am I not fully healed? But then she stopped and asked a different question: "But should I?" Should I be "over" something that was part of my life for so long? Should I expect perfection? Should I shame myself for being human? The answer? No. The reframe: "I'm healing at my own pace. And that's exactly what I need to be doing." Just like that, the shame lifted. The pressure lifted. And she could actually move forward instead of staying stuck in self-judgment. THE 5 POWERFUL REFRAMES REFRAME #1: ❌ Instead of: "I should eat this." ✅ Say: "I choose to nourish my body with this." or "I'm giving my body what it needs." Why it works: Choice language = empowerment. You're not obligated. You're making a conscious decision. REFRAME #2: ❌ Instead of: "I should start today." ✅ Say: "I'm ready to begin today." or "Today is a great day to take the next step." Why it works: Removes the shame of being "behind" and replaces it with readiness and hope. REFRAME #3: ❌ Instead of: "I should be further along by now." ✅ Say: "I'm exactly where I need to be in my journey." or "I'm making progress, even if it doesn't look like I thought it would." Why it works: Honors your unique timeline and removes comparison. Progress isn't linear. REFRAME #4: ❌ Instead of: "I should be able to eat normally." ✅ Say: "I'm learning to eat in a way that honors my body." or "I'm building a new relationship with food, and that takes time." Why it works: Removes unrealistic expectations and replaces them with patience and self-compassion. REFRAME #5: ❌ Instead of: "I should be over this by now." ✅ Say: "I'm healing at my own pace, and that's exactly what I need." or "Recovery is a journey, not a destination. I'm on my way." Why it works: Gives you permission to be human. To heal in YOUR time. To stop rushing the process. THE COMPASSIONATE TRUTH You are not behind. You are not failing. You are not broken. You're healing. And healing doesn't follow a script. It doesn't follow a timeline. It doesn't look the same for everyone. When you stop "shoulding" yourself, you create space for what's actually true: ✅ You're doing the best you can with what you have right now ✅ You're allowed to be imperfect ✅ You're allowed to take your time ✅ You're allowed to choose yourself without shame When you replace "should" with choice, compassion, and truth—you unlock the ability to actually MOVE FORWARD instead of staying stuck in self-judgment. THE EDGE: STOP USING "SHOULD" AS AN EXCUSE If you're constantly "shoulding" yourself but not taking action, you're using "should" as an excuse to stay stuck. "I should start recovery" becomes a way to avoid actually starting "I should eat better" becomes a way to avoid actually nourishing yourself "I should be further along" becomes a way to avoid doing the work to GET further along The challenge: Stop talking about what you "should" do and start choosing what you WILL do. Not because you have to. Not because you're obligated. But because you WANT freedom. Because you're READY to heal. Because you CHOOSE yourself. YOUR HOMEWORK: CATCH & REFRAME Catch yourself "shoulding" three times today. Just three. When you do, pause and ask yourself: Where did this "should" come from? Is it true? Or is it just an expectation I'm putting on myself? What would I say instead if I spoke to myself with compassion? Then reframe it using one of the five reframes above (or create your own). Write it down. Say it out loud. Let your brain hear a different story. Because the words you use shape the life you live. READY TO BUILD BELIEF WITH SUPPORT? WORK WITH LINDSEY 💛 JOIN OUR EMAIL COMMUNITY Get multiple weeks of encouragement, tools, and support delivered straight to your inbox. 👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and get on our email list 💛 WORK WITH A RECOVERY COACH If you're looking for someone to help you along your path to freedom, I have coaches on my team (or myself) who would love to support you. We'll help you incorporate these BELIEF steps in tangible ways—like tools in a toolbox—that are gonna get you living your very best life. 👉 Fill out a client application https://docs.google.com/forms/d/13WDpvmQNoVvAytBdqM72FIp1AqXMfSFrqzQVvBWrwHY/edit  💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE Join my group coaching community where women come together to build belief, support each other, and do the deep work of recovery. www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING If you're ready for deep, transformational work and personalized support to build unshakeable belief in your recovery—let's partner together. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Let me be real with you: You won't experience healing if you don't lean in. And you won't lean in if you don't believe it's possible. This is the hardest thing about eating disorder recovery. Not the meal plan. Not the weight restoration. Not even the challenging of thoughts. It's the BELIEF. The belief that recovery from this terrible, horrifying, very no good, unfortunate eating disorder that has taken over your life is actually possible for YOU. Maybe you listen to this podcast and think, "Great, Lindsey. I love that this is inspirational, but I'm just not sure I'm fully bought in to the possibility that I can experience freedom. That I could actually change." If that's you, this episode is your game-changer + it's a ⭐ Fan Favorite that we knew we wanted to re-share with you this week. Recently, I had conversations with women who asked me, "Lindsey, I love what you do, but how do you help these women create that belief that this is possible for them?" And I said, "That IS the hardest thing. It's believing that this is possible." So today, I'm giving you a proven framework—a tangible acronym that spells out BELIEF—to help you overcome the limiting beliefs that are keeping you stuck and preventing you from your very best life. In this episode, you'll discover: Why so many women stay stuck in the destructive cycle (hint: they don't believe freedom is possible) The truth: Belief CAN be created, and it's a crucial step in the healing process The BELIEF Framework: 6 proven steps to create unwavering faith in your recovery B - Begin Small: Why trying to change everything at once keeps you stuck E - Embrace Support: The game-changing power of working with someone specialized in ED recovery L - Learn and Learn Again: How educating yourself builds reassurance and hope I - Imagine Your Future: The science behind visualization and why your brain can't tell the difference E - Establish Positive Practices: How to challenge negative thoughts and speak kinder to yourself F - Focus on Why: Why your "why" is greater than your "now" The powerful William James quote: "Belief creates actual fact" Why recovery is scientifically and clinically possible (yes, even for you) How to answer the question: "Can I believe there is something greater on the other side of all this?" If you want to recover, if you want freedom so badly, if you're tired of running in circles, if you're exhausted from your unhealthy relationship with food and exercise—this episode will show you how to build the belief you need to finally break free. Because if I can do it, then so can you, friend. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "You won't experience healing if you don't lean in. And the possibility of it being possible is dependent upon your belief." 💛 "If you choose to stay in that fixed mindset of 'I doubt myself, I will always be this way, there's no room for any of that freedom for me,' then that is where you will stay. But belief can be created." 💛 "A lot of women will stay stuck in this destructive cycle because they just don't believe that freedom's possible for them." 💛 "We are bounce back creatures. Anything is possible for us. But the possibility of it being possible is dependent upon your belief." 💛 "It doesn't matter which direction you go, as long as you continue to look forward and you continue to build forward." 💛 "Well, if she can do it, why can't I?" 💛 "Understanding that recovery is scientifically and clinically possible—this is gonna build that reassurance for you and give your brain some safety that leads to hope with belief." 💛 "It does not matter if you've done something before or if you have visualized something before—if you can visualize it, you can become it. If you can visualize it, you can be it." 💛 "Trust that your why is greater than your now. Trust that your why is bigger than your present reality." 💛 "Belief creates actual fact." - William James, Father of American Psychology 💛 "Can I believe that there is something grander, that there is something greater on the other side of all this? Can I believe that there is something more for me than this? And if your answer's yes, you already have the belief you need right now to create the life that you want." THE BELIEF FRAMEWORK: 6 PROVEN STEPS This acronym will help you build the belief you need to recover. Grab a piece of paper and jot this down—or come back to this section whenever doubt creeps in. THE POWERFUL TRUTH: BELIEF CREATES ACTUAL FACT William James, the father of American psychology, stated: "Belief creates actual fact." So when the enemy tries to steal your joy this week—when the enemy tries to bring you doubt and discouragement, when the enemy tries to have you staring at your step count, giving yourself shame thoughts, looking at your mirror and telling your body that you hate yourself—I want you to lean in. Remember these core fundamentals to step into belief: B - Begin Small E - Embrace Support L - Learn and Learn Again I - Imagine Freedom E - Establish Positive Practices F - Focus on Why You have the power to believe in the process. Trust that you might not know all the answers, but you're striving to figure them out along the way. READY TO BUILD BELIEF WITH SUPPORT? WORK WITH LINDSEY 💛 JOIN OUR EMAIL COMMUNITY Get multiple weeks of encouragement, tools, and support delivered straight to your inbox. 👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and get on our email list 💛 WORK WITH A RECOVERY COACH If you're looking for someone to help you along your path to freedom, I have coaches on my team (or myself) who would love to support you. We'll help you incorporate these BELIEF steps in tangible ways—like tools in a toolbox—that are gonna get you living your very best life. 👉 Fill out a client application https://docs.google.com/forms/d/13WDpvmQNoVvAytBdqM72FIp1AqXMfSFrqzQVvBWrwHY/edit  💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE Join my group coaching community where women come together to build belief, support each other, and do the deep work of recovery. www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING If you're ready for deep, transformational work and personalized support to build unshakeable belief in your recovery—let's partner together. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Today is a very special episode. For the first time ever, I'm bringing on a guest. And not just any guest—my husband, Kevin. If you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you know I talk a lot about my recovery journey, the tools, the strategies, the mindset shifts. But what I don't talk about as much is the man behind the scenes. The man who supports me. The man who holds down the fort so I can record this podcast, run my business, and continue to show up for you every single week. Kevin is that man. He's the anchor. And it's time for you to meet him. Here's the truth: Recovery doesn't just affect the person struggling. It affects the whole family. And the support of a partner can make or break the journey. Kevin met me shortly after my recovery, but he's watched me navigate ups and downs with body image and restrictive behaviors throughout our marriage. He's a law enforcement officer, lifts heavy weights, is in tip-top shape, and constantly pushes himself to the limit. He's an alpha personality—strong, driven, disciplined. And he's also a man of God, a father to our two boys, and the most supportive partner I could ever ask for. But supporting someone in eating disorder recovery didn't come naturally to him. He had to learn. And today, he's sharing what he learned—for the men listening, and for the women who want their husbands or partners to understand what real support looks like. In this episode, you'll hear: How Kevin met me shortly after recovery and realized it's an ongoing journey, not a one-and-done Why his instinct to "fix" me actually created distance instead of intimacy The words he thought were supportive that actually made me feel dismissed What he did that made me feel the MOST safe and supported How he learned not to react in passion or frustration, but to actively listen instead Why asking "What do you need right now to feel safe?" changed everything How Kevin had to recognize that what HE needs for his body is very different from what I need The learning curve of being an alpha male married to someone in ED recovery What it really looks like to be "the man behind the biz" (spoiler: it's cooking, cleaning, and holding down the fort) Kevin's 5 practical takeaways for men supporting their wives through ED recovery or body image struggles A sneak peek at future episodes where Kevin will come back to share more of his perspective If you're a woman in recovery, send this episode to your husband or partner. If you're a man listening, thank you for being here. Thank you for wanting to support your wife. This episode is for you. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "Your wife doesn't need you to fix her. She needs you to support her. And those are two very different things." - Lindsey 💛 "You don't have to understand everything she's going through to support her. You don't have to have all the answers. But you do have to be willing to listen. And I mean really listen—without trying to fix it, without pressuring her, without making unnecessary comments." - Kevin 💛 "Early on, my instinct was to say things like, 'You're fine. You look great. Just go eat more.' And I thought I was being supportive. But what I didn't realize was that those kinds of comments actually created more distance between us." - Kevin 💛 "That disconnect—it affected intimacy. Not just physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy too." - Lindsey 💛 "I had to learn that sometimes the most supportive thing I can do is just listen. Ask questions. Ask what you need to feel safe. And then do that." - Kevin 💛 "When you asked what I needed instead of assuming, I felt seen. I felt heard. I felt like you were on my team." - Lindsey 💛 "I can't take away the struggle. I can't make the eating disorder voice go away. But I can support you in climbing out of the struggle. I can listen. I can be present. I can remind you who you are." - Kevin 💛 "You don't have to sit in the struggle with her. But you can support her in climbing out. You can be her safe place." - Kevin 💛 "I had to grant you permission to have a different relationship with your body than I have with mine. Your recovery doesn't look like my fitness journey. And that's okay." - Kevin 💛 "Supporting your wife's recovery—or supporting her business, her calling, her purpose—sometimes looks like doing the dishes or making dinner or getting the kids to bed so she can have space to breathe. It's not glamorous. But it matters." - Kevin 💛 "Your job is just to be the anchor." - Kevin MEET KEVIN NICHOL Kevin is: A law enforcement officer A fitness enthusiast who lifts heavy and pushes himself to the limit An alpha personality—strong, driven, disciplined A man of God A father to two boys Lindsey's husband and "the man behind the biz" The anchor who holds down the fort so Lindsey can do this work Kevin met Lindsey shortly after her initial recovery, but quickly realized that recovery is ongoing. He's watched her navigate ups and downs with body image and restrictive behaviors throughout their marriage, and he's learned how to support her without trying to fix her. KEVIN'S 5 PRACTICAL TAKEAWAYS FOR MEN If you're a man whose wife is struggling with an eating disorder, body image issues, or disordered eating, here's what Kevin wants you to know: #1: DON'T TRY TO FIX HER Your job isn't to solve the problem. Your job is to support her while she does the hard work of recovery. That means listening. Asking what she needs. Being present. #2: WATCH YOUR WORDS Don't say things like: "You're fine" "Just eat more" "You look great, stop worrying" Those comments, even though they're well-intentioned, can make her feel dismissed. Instead, ask: "What do you need from me right now?" #3: RECOGNIZE THAT WHAT YOU NEED FOR YOUR BODY IS DIFFERENT FROM WHAT SHE NEEDS If you're into fitness or discipline or pushing your limits, that's great. But don't project that onto her. Grant her permission to have a different relationship with her body. Your fitness journey is not her recovery journey. And that's okay. #4: BE HER SAFE PLACE When she's spiraling, when she's struggling, when the eating disorder voice is loud—be the one who reminds her of the truth. Remind her: She's loved She's more than enough Her value isn't tied to her body She is who God created her to be #5: DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY Her struggle isn't about you. It's not because you're not enough or because you're doing something wrong. This is her battle. But you can be her ally. WHAT KEVIN DID THAT MADE LINDSEY FEEL SAFE Kevin shares that the most supportive thing he learned to do was: ✅ Not reacting in passion or frustration - Even when he didn't understand why Lindsey was struggling, he learned not to react from confusion or frustration because it only made things worse. ✅ Actively listening - Instead of trying to fix or dismiss, he learned to ask, "What do you need right now to feel safe?" ✅ Taking action based on her needs - Sometimes that meant: Cooking dinner so Lindsey didn't have to make food decisions Picking the restaurant so she didn't spiral in anxiety Reminding her of her truth and worth Simply sitting with her without trying to solve anything The result? Lindsey felt seen. Heard. Supported. Like Kevin was on her team. THE ALPHA MALE LEARNING CURVE As someone who lifts heavy weights, is disciplined with fitness, and pushes his body to the limit, Kevin had to learn an important lesson: What HE needs for his body is very different from what Lindsey needs. In the beginning, Kevin would talk about his workouts, his macros, his goals—not realizing it could be triggering for Lindsey. Because for him, fitness and discipline are about strength and performance. But for Lindsey, those topics were tied to control, restriction, and shame. Kevin had to learn: To be mindful of how he talked about fitness and discipline To grant Lindsey permission to have a different relationship with her body than he has with his That her recovery doesn't look like his fitness journey—and that's okay Lindsey says: "That was one of the most loving things you did for me. You gave me permission to be different. To need different things. To heal in my own way." THE MAN BEHIND THE BIZ Kevin doesn't get a lot of recognition, but he's the anchor. He's the one who makes it possible for Lindsey to do this work. What that looks like practically: Cooking meals Cleaning the house Taking care of the boys so Lindsey can record the podcast Getting the kids to bed so Lindsey can do yoga or self-care Holding down the fort so Lindsey can show up for her clients and her calling Kevin says: "Supporting your wife's recovery—or supporting her business, her calling, her purpose—sometimes looks like doing the dishes or making dinner or getting the kids to bed so she can have space to breathe. It's not glamorous. But it matters." And it matters SO much. WHAT'S NEXT: KEVIN IS COMING BACK This is the first of what we hope will be many episodes with Kevin. Future topics might include: What NOT to Say to Your Wife About Food or Body How to Be Her Safe Place When She's Spiraling Navigating Intimacy When She's Struggling with Body Image The Man's Perspective on Recovery: What You're Really Feeling (And How to Handle It) If you're a woman listening: Send this episode to your husband or partner. Share it. Tag us on Instagram. Let's open up this conversation. If you're a man listening: Thank you for being here. Thank you for wanting to support your wife. We're going to keep creating content that helps you do that. NEED SUPPORT IN YOUR RECOVERY? WORK WITH LINDSEY 💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE This is my group coaching community where women come together to heal, support each other, and do the deep work of recovery. You'll have access to me, monthly coaching calls, and a sisterhood that gets you. www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING If you're ready for deep, transformational work, if you want someone in your corner who's going to hold you accountable and remind you who you are—let's work together. 👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application. And if you're a man listening and you want to reach out? You can do that too. I'd love to hear from you. I'd love to support you in supporting her. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Let me start this one hot and spicy for you: Counting calories isn't the answer because food isn't the problem. That's right. Food is not the problem. Especially when you've had an unhealthy obsession with calorie counting and diet culture. It's actually about control. And we give calories all the glory when in reality, choosing food based on calories doesn't even equate to the essential nutrients and vitamins that we need to thrive. Calories are simply a unit of energy. Energy that you need, sis, to function, to live, to be your best. Energy that you need to play with your kids, go out with your friends, dress up cute for a date night, do your job, clean your house, take that walk. But restrictive diets and disordered relationships with food cause this obsession with control and counting calories. And while we continue to be chained to numbers and the fixation of numbers, we're missing out on LIFE. Maybe you don't count calories, but you count other things—steps, fat grams, your weight on the scale. It's time to hang it up. It's time to stop. But I'm not just gonna ask you to stop cold turkey because we all know how that typically goes. In this episode, I'm giving you six practical steps you can take TODAY to stop counting calories so you can start counting moments that matter in your life. In this episode, you'll discover: Why food isn't the problem (control is) and what you're really searching for The shocking truth about calorie tracking apps (73% of MyFitnessPal users reported it contributed to disordered eating!) 6 actionable steps to stop counting calories for good How to transform your thinking around calories (they're energy, not the enemy) What triggers to eliminate from your life RIGHT NOW How to face the fear and challenge yourself in restaurants and at home What to count INSTEAD of calories (hint: Episode 56 has 30 ideas!) Why honoring your hunger is the key to freedom The powerful statement that will shift everything: "100 more calories won't change your life, but the decision to avoid them will" If you're obsessively counting calories, tracking your food, or constantly calculating like a mathematician how many calories you have left for the day—this episode is for you. Let's stop counting calories and start counting moments that matter. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "Counting calories isn't the answer because food isn't the problem. Food is not the problem. It's actually control." 💛 "Calories are simply a unit of energy. Energy that you need to function, to live, to be your best." 💛 "Your body wasn't created to be restricted from the very thing that it needs to survive and thrive at its best." 💛 "Every single time you're thinking about restricting your calories, I want you to put on this thought: 'I'm making the choice right now to restrict my energy.' How does that feel?" 💛 "In 2018, researchers reviewed the effects of the MyFitnessPal calorie tracker, and 73% of users reported that the app contributed to disordered eating behaviors and eating disorders. Yet we're still using these things expecting different results." 💛 "Your brain is searching for control. It just wants some safety in an unsafe world." 💛 "You will actually start to forget calorie counts over time. I remember feeling like I could be on The Price is Right, but instead of knowing the price of food, I could tell you the calorie counts of food." 💛 "Calories won't kill you, but your eating disorder will." 💛 "100 more calories won't change your life, but the decision to avoid them—the decision to stay chained in the illness, the decision to not fight back, the decision to continue counting meaningless numbers as if they somehow measure the weight of your worth—that will alter your life every time." 💛 "You're allowed to take up space. You're allowed to be who you are created to be. And counting calories is not gonna be the answer for you." THE REAL ISSUE: IT'S NOT FOOD, IT'S CONTROL Food isn't the problem. Control is. Counting calories is about control, rigid routines, and the desire to provide assurance when we're feeling like we aren't assured. When we're needing security. When we're wanting comfort. When we just need something to cope with, something to have structure around. It gives you peace, but it's FALSE. It's a false sense of control. The counting started small, right? You wanted to track what you were eating, maybe to lose some weight. And it became an obsession. Now you know probably how many calories are in everything. You're tracking on paper, on an app, on your phone. This fear to control your weight, maintain your weight, or avoid gaining weight is what's leading you. But this is led by distorted standards of diet culture and worldly labels or traumas you've faced in your life. And sis, it has to stop. THE 6 STEPS TO STOP COUNTING CALORIES FOR GOOD STEP #1: ACKNOWLEDGE WHY YOU'RE COUNTING IN THE FIRST PLACE Counting calories has taken over your life. It didn't start out like that, but it became an obsession. I want you to acknowledge: Why it's there in the first place What you're searching for when you're counting What knowing that number is actually giving you Is what it's giving you a good outcome? Or is it just leading to more shame? Typically, this is all about control. Control when we're feeling like we aren't assured. When we're needing security. When we're wanting comfort. When we just need something to cope with. You're measuring yourself against a false standard, against a unit of energy. How crazy is that? STEP #2: TRANSFORM YOUR THINKING AROUND CALORIES Calories are actually units of energy. But don't you want MORE energy? I mean, aren't you tired of being tired? Energy isn't good or bad. It's just energy. When you think of energy, do you view it as bad the way you view calories? Do you want less of it? No, right? You've tied negative meaning to calories and only given yourself permission to restrict them. But see, your body wasn't created to be restricted from the very thing it needs to survive and thrive at its best. Just like we need water every day to hydrate, we need food and calories to keep up with our day, to be energized. I want you to start reframing the way you're thinking about calories. Every single time you're thinking about restricting your calories, I want you to put on this thought: "I'm making the choice right now to restrict my energy." How does that feel? I don't know about you, but I can use all the energy I can get. Energy to take my kids to school, energy to show up on the podcast, energy to do all the things that life has for me. I don't need less of it. I need MORE of it. Sis, so do you. Stop thinking about calories as if they're bad. They're not bad. They're a form of energy that's gonna allow you to do life. STEP #3: GET RID OF THE TRACKERS Get rid of: ❌ The notebooks ❌ The watches ❌ The apps ❌ All the social accounts ❌ The food scales ❌ The scale scales ❌ Take off the labels Why put yourself in temptation's path? Practical tips: Have someone in your house or someone close to you go grocery shopping for you Challenge yourself if you're at the store to shorten your shopping time and select only items you cannot check labels of Make it a game: Nothing goes in your basket that you've looked at the label for Select only items that you don't know the calorie content of The research is CLEAR: In 2018, researchers reviewed the effects of the MyFitnessPal calorie tracker. 73% of users reported that the app contributed to disordered eating behaviors and eating disorders. Yet we're still using these things expecting different results. Sit with that one today, sis. STEP #4: FACE THE FEAR It's time to challenge yourself: ✅ Go to a restaurant and avoid looking at the menu ahead of time ✅ Order something you can't get the calorie count for ✅ Have someone else going with you order something for you ✅ When you're home during the week, have someone else prepare your meals if possible Face the fear. Challenge yourself. Lean into it. STEP #5: COUNT SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD Your brain is searching for control. It just wants some safety in an unsafe world. And your body is already a self-regulating machine. Your metabolism is gonna naturally heal itself. So count something else instead. Check out Episode 56: Calorie Counting Isn't Cute—30 Things to Count Instead of Calories, Macros, and Fat Grams. You're really going to enjoy that one. STEP #6: HONOR YOUR JOURNEY AND WHERE YOU ARE IN IT Honor your hunger. Your TRUE hunger. Stopping the desire to count every single morsel of food doesn't happen overnight. It takes time. But it can and it WILL happen if you keep showing up for you. Try this practice: STOP, PAUSE, PRAY (or say a mantra). STOP, PAUSE, FEEL. Sit with yourself: Why do I wanna count this thing? What am I making this mean by counting it? Grant yourself grace and permission to NOT count Is the world gonna end tomorrow because you decided not to count your calories today? You will actually start to forget calorie counts over time. I remember in my eating disorder feeling like I could be on The Price is Right, but instead of knowing the price of food, I could tell you the calorie counts of food. That is what I used to gauge whether or not I was allowed to give myself permission to eat it. Stop. Stop the madness. You have permission. THE POWERFUL TRUTH YOU NEED TO HEAR Calories won't kill you, but your eating disorder will. And I heard this amazing statement (I don't know who it came from, but it was bomb): "100 more calories won't change your life, but the decision to avoid them—the decision to stay chained in the illness, the decision to not fight back, the decision to continue counting meaningless numbers as if they somehow measure the weight of your worth—that will alter your life every time." I feel it to my core today. If you're listening and you're counting calories, it's time to stop. It's time to stop giving calories a place of power in your life. It's time to stop idolizing the fear of gaining weight. It's time to stop limiting your every single day by judging the back of a label. You're allowed to take up space. You're allowed to be who you are created to be. Counting calories is not gonna be the answer for you. Just like counting your weight on the scale is never gonna work. Because food isn't the problem and neither is that number on the scale. The problem is that you have been chained to believe that big is bad and skinny is in. The truth is that calories are just a unit of energy and we need to stop glorifying them. YOUR ACTION STEPS TODAY Acknowledge why you're counting and what you're searching for Transform your thinking around calories (they're energy, not the enemy) Get rid of the trackers - apps, notebooks, watches, scales Face the fear - challenge yourself at restaurants and at home Count something else instead (listen to Episode 56 for 30 ideas!) Honor your journey while you honor your hunger   💛READY TO PARTNER WITH ME? THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE This is my group coaching community where women just like you come together to heal, support each other, and do the deep work of recovery. You'll have access to me, monthly coaching calls, and a sisterhood that gets it. That gets you. www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING If you're ready for deep, transformational work, if you want someone in your corner who's going to hold you accountable and remind you who you are when the eating disorder tries to convince you otherwise—let's work together. I'm taking applications right now. 👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application. Let's make 2026 the year you invest in yourself—whether that's through these books, through coaching, or both. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

I'm a huge believer in reading—not just consuming content on social media but actually sitting down with a book and letting the words sink deep into your soul. Over the years, there have been specific books that have absolutely transformed my life and my recovery journey. Books that challenged me. Books that comforted me. Books that made me think differently about myself, my identity, and my purpose. And today? I'm sharing my six must-read book recommendations for 2026. These are books that I believe will help you in your eating disorder recovery journey—whether you're just starting out, you're in the thick of it, or you're on the other side working to stay free. In this episode, you'll discover: Why reading matters in your recovery (and why it's different from scrolling social media) 6 game-changing books that will give you momentum in 2026 How to tackle limiting beliefs and trust that recovery is figureoutable Why you don't need everyone's approval to live your life (and recover) How to understand who you are at your core—beyond the eating disorder's lies The power of shame resilience and why shame doesn't get to win A raw, honest fiction novel that mirrors the struggle and hope of recovery How to live in the beautiful tension of "now and not yet" on your journey Grab a pen, grab your phone, take notes. Because sis, these books? They're game-changers. Let's fill your mind with truth, hope, and wisdom—so there's less room for the eating disorder's lies. THE 6 MUST-READ BOOKS FOR ED RECOVERY IN 2026 📖 BOOK #1: Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo What it's about: This book is all about tackling problems, obstacles, and challenges with the mindset that no matter what you're facing—yes, even eating disorder recovery—you can figure it out. Why you need it: Marie teaches you how to reframe limiting beliefs, take action even when you're scared, and trust that you have everything you need inside of you to solve any problem. Perfect for you if: You feel stuck, like recovery is too hard or too complicated. This book will remind you that you are more capable than you think. Everything—yes, everything—is figureoutable. Including your freedom. 📖 BOOK #2: The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga What it's about: Based on the teachings of Alfred Adler, this book is presented as a dialogue between a philosopher and a young man about living free from the need for approval. Why you need it: It teaches you that you don't need everyone's approval to live your life. It challenges the people-pleasing, the need for external validation, and the fear of judgment that so many of us carry—especially those of us with eating disorders. Perfect for you if: You struggle with people-pleasing or feeling like you need permission to recover. This book will help you understand that you can choose freedom over approval. You can choose yourself over what everyone else thinks. And that's where real recovery lives. 📖 BOOK #3: Human Design by Jenna Zoe What it's about: Human Design is a system that helps you understand how you're uniquely wired as an individual. Why you need it: This book helps you discover who you are at your core—not who the eating disorder says you are, not who society says you should be, but who you were designed to be. Perfect for you if: You need permission to stop trying to fit into a mold that was never meant for you. When you start to see yourself through the lens of your unique design and personality, it helps you embrace your strengths, your natural way of being, and how you operate in the world. Recovery is about coming home to yourself. And this book? It's like a roadmap back. 📖 BOOK #4: I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't) by Brené Brown What it's about: This book is all about shame resilience—understanding how shame works, how it keeps us stuck, and most importantly, how to build resilience against it. Why you need it: If there's one thing that fuels an eating disorder, it's shame. Shame about your body. Shame about your eating. Shame about not being "good enough" or "perfect enough." Brené teaches you that shame loses its power when we talk about it, when we share our stories, when we realize we're not alone. Perfect for you if: You've ever felt like you're the only one struggling, like there's something uniquely broken about you. This book will remind you that you're not alone. And that shame? It doesn't get to win. 📖 BOOK #5: Slip by Mallary Tarplay What it's about: This is a novel—fiction—about a woman struggling with bulimia and the journey she goes through to find recovery. It's raw, it's honest, and it doesn't sugarcoat the hard parts. Why you need it: Sometimes we need to see ourselves in a story. Sometimes we need to read about someone else's journey to remind us that recovery is possible. That it's worth it. That we're not alone in the fight. Perfect for you if: You want a book that feels like a mirror—one that reflects the struggle but also the hope. This book shows the beauty of healing, the messiness of recovery, and the hope that exists even in the darkest moments. 📖 BOOK #6: Now and Not Yet by Ruth Chou Simons What it's about: This book is all about living in the tension of the "already but not yet." The idea that you are already loved, already worthy, already enough—but you're also still becoming. Still growing. Still on the journey. Why you need it: Recovery isn't linear. You're not "there" yet, but you're also not back where you started. You're in the middle. You're in the messy, beautiful, uncomfortable middle. Perfect for you if: You need a book that speaks hope, grace, and truth over your recovery journey. This book will remind you that God is with you in the now AND the not yet. That you don't have to have it all figured out to be worthy. That you can rest in the process. That you can trust that you're becoming exactly who you were meant to be—even if you're not there yet. THE FULL MUST-READ LIST FOR 2026 Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga Human Design by Jenna Zoe I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't) by Brené Brown Slip by Mallary Tarplay Now and Not Yet by Ruth Chou Simons Pick one. Pick all six. Just start reading. Because the more you fill your mind with truth, hope, and wisdom, the less room there is for the eating disorder's lies. KEY QUOTE FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "I'm a huge believer in reading—not just consuming content on social media, but actually sitting down with a book and letting the words sink deep into your soul." 💛 "The more you fill your mind with truth, hope, and wisdom, the less room there is for the eating disorder's lies." 💛 "Recovery is about coming home to yourself. And this book? It's like a roadmap back." 💛 "Shame loses its power when we talk about it, when we share our stories, when we realize we're not alone." 💛 "You are already loved, already worthy, already enough—but you're also still becoming. Still growing. Still on the journey." NEED MORE THAN BOOKS? WORK WITH ME IN 2026 💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE This is my group coaching community where women just like you come together to heal, support each other, and do the deep work of recovery. You'll have access to me, monthly coaching calls, and a sisterhood that gets it. That gets you. www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING If you're ready for deep, transformational work, if you want someone in your corner who's going to hold you accountable and remind you who you are when the eating disorder tries to convince you otherwise—let's work together. I'm taking applications right now. 👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application. Let's make 2026 the year you invest in yourself—whether that's through these books, through coaching, or both. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

We're already mid-January. Goals have been set. Maybe you wrote down "recover this year" or "heal my relationship with food" or "finally find freedom." But here's what I need you to hear: Setting the goal isn't the problem. How you're approaching it is. I was listening to a Tony Robbins podcast recently, and he said something that stopped me in my tracks: The reason why people don't get the results they're after is because they approach it all wrong. Most people start with the strategy—looking for the perfect plan, the magic formula, the one thing that's going to solve everything. And when that strategy doesn't work, they think they failed. But the truth is, the strategy was never the problem. It's that they started in the wrong place. This is SO true in eating disorder recovery. People come to me all the time asking, "Lindsey, what's THE strategy? What did YOU do to recover? Just tell me the steps and I'll do it." And here's what I have to tell them: There are multiple ways of getting to recovery. No one way is THE way. And anyone who tells you there is only one way? Run from them. In this episode, I'm introducing you to the 3B Framework—Being, Belief, and Blueprint—the exact approach I use with my private clients that actually gets lasting results. Because sis, the strategy isn't the first step. It's actually the LAST step. And that's why you've been stuck. In this episode, you'll discover: Why starting with strategy is keeping you stuck in the recovery cycle The 3B Framework: Being, Belief, and Blueprint (and why the order matters) Why anyone promising "one proven way" to recover is lying to you The real reason my clients see lasting transformation (it's not the meal plan) My personal figure skating story and how old beliefs kept me trapped for years The moment at the ice rink that showed me I was finally free Why the patterns and behaviors won't change long-lasting if the soul work isn't met How to identify the story you've been telling yourself that's keeping you stuck Practical homework to excavate your core beliefs and rewrite your narrative If you keep doing what you've always done, you're going to keep getting what you've always gotten. And I'm guessing you're tired of being stuck. So let's change the approach. Let's do this differently. Let's actually get you FREE. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "Setting the goal isn't the problem. How you're approaching it is." 💛 "There are multiple ways of getting to recovery. No one way is THE way. And anyone who tells you there is only one way? Run from them." 💛 "The reason why my clients see results? It's because we don't start with the strategy. We start with something much deeper." 💛 "The blueprint won't matter if your being and your belief are still stuck in the old ways of thinking. We have to conquer those pieces first." 💛 "The strategy isn't the first bite of the salad, sis. It's actually the Being and the Belief. We have to unravel the WHY behind why we believe what we believe." 💛 "You can have the best meal plan. You can have the best treatment team. You can have all the tools and resources and support in the world. But if you don't change your BEING—if you don't shift your BELIEF—you're going to keep sabotaging yourself." 💛 "The smell of the rink was the same. But my belief and my identity weren't trapped in the sport anymore. I was healed." 💛 "There's a reason why we hang on to the eating disorder for so long. For me, it was because I didn't see myself as anything but that version of myself. But sis, it's time to believe bigger." 💛 "The patterns and behaviors won't change long-lasting if the internal work isn't met." THE 3B FRAMEWORK EXPLAINED This is the exact framework I use with my private coaching clients—and it's why they see actual, lasting transformation instead of just temporary fixes. STEP 1: BEING (Your Current State) This is where you are RIGHT NOW. What is the state of your current being? What is the urgency of your situation? What is your mental, emotional, and physical state when you come to me? Are you in crisis? Are you stuck in quasi-recovery? Are you white-knuckling your way through life pretending you're fine when you're actually dying inside? We start here. Because if you don't get honest about where you are, you can't get to where you want to go. Most people skip this step entirely. They want to jump straight to the strategy. But that's like asking for directions to a destination without telling me where you're starting from or what vehicle you're driving. STEP 2: BELIEF (Your Core Story) This is the story you've been telling yourself. What are the core beliefs driving your behaviors? What narrative have you been living in for months, years, maybe even decades? What do you believe about yourself, your body, your worth, your identity? Are you believing that you're only worthy if you're small? That food is the enemy? That control equals safety? That you'll never recover? That this is just who you are? This is where we do the soul work. The deep work. Because sis, the patterns and behaviors won't change long-lasting if the internal work isn't met. These beliefs are running the show. And until you identify them, challenge them, and replace them with truth, you're going to stay stuck. There's a reason why we hang on to the eating disorder for so long. We have to unravel the WHY behind why we believe what we believe. STEP 3: BLUEPRINT (Your Strategy) This is the action plan. The "how do we get you there?" part. But here's the key: The blueprint won't matter if your being and your belief are still stuck in the old ways of thinking. We have to conquer Steps 1 and 2 first. Otherwise, you're just putting a band-aid on a wound that needs surgery. You can have the best meal plan. You can have the best treatment team. You can have all the tools and resources and support in the world. But if you haven't changed your BEING and shifted your BELIEF, you're going to keep sabotaging yourself. You're going to keep "cheating" on your meal plan. You're going to keep restricting in secret. You're going to keep pretending you're recovering while you're really just maintaining your eating disorder with a smile on your face. Once we've addressed your being and your belief, THEN we can create a blueprint. Then we can map out the tools, the action steps, the meal plans, the support systems, the practices that will actually work for YOU. But not before. Because the blueprint is useless without the foundation. MY FIGURE SKATING STORY: WHEN BELIEF KEPT ME TRAPPED Over winter break, I took my boys ice skating. And the moment I walked into that rink, I was hit with a wave of memories. The smell of the ice. The cold, crisp air. The must from the hockey players and public skaters. I closed my eyes for a second, and it all came rushing back. For so long after my recovery, skating was triggering for me. Because my entire identity as a figure skater was wrapped up in perfectionism and performance. Being the smallest was the best. Looking perfect was the goal. Technique over joy. Approval over freedom. Those beliefs protected me during that season of my life. They gave me structure. They gave me control. They gave me a sense of worth when I felt worthless everywhere else. But they also trapped me. They kept me stuck in an eating disorder that nearly killed me. So for years, I avoided skating. Because I didn't know who I was without those beliefs. I didn't know if I could step onto the ice without falling back into that version of myself. But this time? This time was different. My oldest asked me to do a sit spin. And I thought, "Why not?" So I did it. And you know what? I nailed it. The muscle memory was still there. My body remembered. But something else was different. I was different. I wasn't focused on what others thought. I wasn't worried about my technique. I wasn't performing for approval. I was just... doing it. For fun. For the first time in my life, I was skating for JOY, not perfection. It felt like freedom. It felt playful. No strings attached. No perfection required. Just me being a mom, showing my kids that their mom was once someone cool. And honestly? Feeling pretty cool in that moment. And that's when it hit me: The smell of the rink was the same. But my belief and my identity weren't trapped in the sport anymore. I was healed. WHY BELIEF IS THE GAME-CHANGER That moment on the ice showed me something so important: You can have all the skills. You can have all the muscle memory. You can have all the strategy in the world. But if your BELIEF about yourself hasn't changed, you'll always go back to the old patterns. This is why so many of my clients come to me looking for the strategy, but they realize pretty quickly that they need something deeper. They need to look at their BEING. They need to examine their BELIEF. Because the best strategy in the world won't work unless you're prepared to execute it. And you can't execute it if you're still operating from the old story. RUN FROM THESE "ONE WAY" LIES Run from anyone who says: ❌ A meal plan is the ONLY way to recover ❌ Intuitive eating is the ONLY way to recover ❌ You MUST follow a specific protocol ❌ There's a "proven recovery formula" that works for everyone ❌ Specific techniques are the answer for all people Recovery isn't one-size-fits-all. It's not a linear path. It's not a checklist. It's deeply personal, deeply individual, and it requires way more than just a strategy. YOUR HOMEWORK: EXCAVATE YOUR BELIEFS Here's your one tangible action. Sit down with a journal and answer these questions: ✍️ What are 3 beliefs I have about myself, my body, or my eating disorder? ✍️ For each belief, ask: Is this true? Or is this my eating disorder talking? ✍️ What is the story I've been telling myself that's keeping me stuck in this old identity? And here's the big one: ✍️ Who would I be without this story? Who am I BECOMING? Get really honest with yourself. Excavate those beliefs. Challenge them. Question them. Because sis, the strategy isn't going to save you. Your willingness to do the deep internal work is what's going to set you free. Stop searching for the perfect strategy. Start looking at your being. Start examining your beliefs. Start doing the soul work. Because that's where transformation happens. READY TO WORK THE 3B FRAMEWORK? LET'S DO THIS TOGETHER If you're thinking, "Lindsey, I need help with this. I can't do this alone. I need someone to walk me through Being, Belief, and Blueprint"—I hear you. And I'm here for you. 💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE This is my group coaching community where we do this work together. We address your being, we challenge your beliefs, and we create blueprints that actually work. You'll have me, you'll have the community, and you'll have the support to actually make lasting change. www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING If you're ready for deep, transformational work, if you want someone in your corner who's going to help you uncover those core beliefs and rewrite your story—let's work together. This is where we go ALL in on your recovery with radical change. www.herbestself.co  👉 Head to the link above & fill out a client application. Let's stop playing games. Let's stop searching for the magic strategy. Let's do the real work. The deep work. The work that actually gets you free. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

When my therapist first told me to start journaling as part of my recovery practice, I literally laughed in her face. Journaling? Like... affirmations? I didn't believe that writing in a notebook would help me recover from my eating disorder. It seemed too simple. Too basic. Too... pointless. But sis, I was so wrong. Journaling didn't just help me recover. It actually saved my life. And if fear is keeping you stuck in restrictive behaviors right now—if you're terrified to recover because you're not sure who you'll be without your eating disorder—then you need to hear this. In this episode, I'm breaking down the 7 science-backed benefits of journaling that transformed my recovery and why this simple practice might be the missing piece in yours. We live in a culture of information overload—endless scrolling, constant content, comparison on every platform. But what if instead of consuming more, you need to process what's already in your mind? According to the National Institute of Health, 26% of adults suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder. Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. And yet, only 8% of the world population keeps a journal. It's time to go back to the basics. It's time to slow down. It's time to give your brain the space it needs to heal. In this episode, you'll discover: Why I laughed when my therapist suggested journaling (and why I was so wrong) The shocking statistics about mental health and why we need to process, not just consume 7 powerful benefits of journaling in eating disorder recovery (backed by science) How journaling reduces anxiety and depression while boosting your immune system Why getting thoughts OUT of your mind is critical for cognitive processing How writing promotes healing, acceptance, and actually changes your brain The way I used journaling to replace negative coping mechanisms with positive ones How journaling gives you reset, redirection, and compassion for your journey Why reflecting on your progress through old journals sparks hope and momentum Practical tips on how to start journaling TODAY (no fancy notebook required) If you've been stuck, if you've been overwhelmed by the thoughts in your mind, if you don't know where to go next—this episode is your permission to start simple. Start small. Start today. Journaling changed my life. And it can change yours too. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "When my therapist told me years ago to start journaling as part of a personal recovery practice, I believe I actually laughed in her face. I think I said, 'About what? Like affirmations?' I didn't even believe that journaling would help me recover from my eating disorder. But I was wrong." 💛 "It's time that we go back to the basics in order to heal our bodies. It's time that we stop just ingesting all of this content and information causing us to hate our lives, hate our bodies, draw closer to our disordered behaviors and sit miserable in comparison." 💛 "How do you expect to find freedom from an eating disorder or an unhealthy relationship with food if you're not getting any of that out of your mind? Journaling allows you to get out what is going in." 💛 "When you write down positive things over and over and over, it allows you to see patterns. It actually allows you to believe or to start believing what it is you're writing." 💛 "Maybe you need to get it out. Maybe you need to do exactly what I did: 'I hate this freaking snack right now. I hate that I have to sit here and eat it. I hate that I'm so scared to gain weight, and yet I'm doing the thing anyways because I know on the opposite side of this action one day I'm gonna wake up free.'" 💛 "How are you gonna remember the hard days if you don't get out the hard thing? How are you gonna remember the small wins that feel massive to you in the moment, five years from now, a month from now? Journaling helps you process." 💛 "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you." - Maya Angelou THE SHOCKING STATISTICS YOU NEED TO KNOW 📊 Only 8% of the world population keeps a journal 📊 Only 22% of people have journaled in their lifetime 📊 26% of adults 18+ suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder (that's 1 in 4 adults) 📊 Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness 📊 Half of Americans will experience a mental illness in their lifetime 📊 4.5 million kids live with anxiety disorders The takeaway? We need to slow down as a culture. Instead of this flux of information overload, we need to give our brains time to PROCESS. We need grace to weed through all the things, filter out all the things, and process our thoughts and feelings about our lives—much less about our bodies and our relationship with food. THE 7 SCIENCE-BACKED BENEFITS OF JOURNALING IN ED RECOVERY BENEFIT #1: Reduces Anxiety and Depression, Increases Optimism Journaling boosts your immune system and researchers have shown improved organ function simply from journaling. Yes, ORGAN FUNCTION. Your body heals when you give your mind space to process. BENEFIT #2: Increased Cognitive Processing Journaling allows you to get OUT what is going IN. All the voices telling you you're not good enough, not small enough—all those beliefs you've been telling yourself over and over. How do you expect to find freedom if you're not getting any of that out of your mind? BENEFIT #3: Promotes Healing and Acceptance Writing is tranquil. Writing is a healing practice. When you write, you read. This creates improved memory function. When you write down positive things over and over, it allows you to see patterns. It actually allows you to START BELIEVING what you're writing. BENEFIT #4: Calms the Brain and Body This leads to stress resilience, allowing you to leverage writing versus going to negative coping mechanisms. When I was in the worst of the worst with my anorexia, every single time I felt like I wanted to over-exercise or restrict food, I would replace that with journaling. Example: "Let me go get my snack, and then after my snack, I'm gonna sit down and journal and get out the thoughts in my mind. Maybe I'll write: 'I hate this freaking snack right now. I hate that I have to sit here and eat it. I hate that I'm so scared to gain weight, and yet I'm doing the thing anyways because I know on the opposite side of this action one day I'm gonna wake up free.'" It allows your brain to be calm. It allows your body to be at peace. BENEFIT #5: Gives You Reset and Redirection Journaling creates space and distance from the things you're thinking about, and it allows you time to reframe, reset, and redirect. As you're writing, you're thinking about what you're writing. And if you don't spend time thinking about what you're thinking about, how are you gonna make a change? How are you gonna show up differently? BENEFIT #6: Practice Compassion and Gratitude When you're listing what you have overcome, what you've accomplished, what you're grateful for—this actually helps give you hope during the hard. It helps you process all that you have done. How are you gonna remember the small wins that feel massive to you in the moment, five years from now, a month from now? Journaling helps you process. BENEFIT #7: Helps You Reflect and Recover You can go back and read your journal. You can go back and read your journey. On the hard days, you can go back to the inspirational things and say, "You know what? Today might feel hard. Today might suck. But last week, look at this win I had." That gives you motivation, momentum, and it sparks your ability to want to keep going. It shows your progress. WHAT JOURNALING DOES FOR YOUR BRAIN Journaling allows you to develop what is called a coherent narrative. This simply means you can take the experiences and events in your life and look at them almost as a third party. This is a very holistic practice. As you're getting these thoughts out on the page, as you're writing your story out, you can sit with it and say, "How would I view this if I was reading this as a novel? Or if this was a page from my friend's notebook?" Instead of judging yourself in the journey, it allows you to develop a new and true voice. Journaling is about: ✨ Self-discovery ✨ Self-love ✨ Processing emotions ✨ Identifying your triggers and stressors ✨ Gaining confidence in yourself ✨ Self-monitoring and self-accountability HOW TO START JOURNALING TODAY Start small. Start today. Find a cute blank notebook (or just a plain one—it doesn't have to be fancy). Take 5 minutes today and in the days to come to sit with YOU. Journal prompts to get you started: ✍️ What are you thinking about right now? ✍️ What thoughts come up? ✍️ What fears come up? ✍️ What are your daily intentions today? ✍️ Talk to God. Release those negative feelings. ✍️ Write about your truths. Write about where you want to go. ✍️ Write some things you're grateful for. ✍️ Write about how hard it is right now. ✍️ Write a letter to someone—or to yourself (past self, future self). ✍️ Write your Best Self statement. Morning journaling: Sets your day and gives you positive intent before your eating disorder brain clouds it. You can say, "Today, this is what I'm planning to do. This is what's on the agenda. This is my positive intent to do the right thing before that voice inside my head tells me not to." Night journaling: Promotes more restful sleep and allows you to process all you've done. It even allows you to get out shame, unforgiveness, or negative feelings. There's no right way. That's the fun thing. Just start. A PERSONAL NOTE FROM LINDSEY I still have all of my journals from my years of recovery. And today it is quite amazing to look back and reflect and read my journals. I can actually remember the feelings of writing on the pages from 15+ years ago. I can look now at that girl who was desperate for freedom, that girl who didn't believe it was possible. And I can hold her just like I'm holding you, friend. Because I know what it's like to feel those feelings and I know what it's like to find freedom from that place. "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you." - Maya Angelou Start spending time with your mind. Start releasing what's in your mind out on paper. Because I promise that if you have been stuck, if you have been feeling like there are so many different things inside your mind and you're just not sure where to go next—the first step is to alleviate those thoughts. The first step is to rid your mind of all those thoughts. Get them out on paper. What's true? What's not true? What's keeping you stuck? What's keeping you in fear? I believe that journaling is one of the best things I did in my eating disorder recovery. And it can be one of the best things you do too. NEED MORE SUPPORT? WORK WITH ME 💛 ONE-ON-ONE PRIVATE RECOVERY COACHING I have only a few slots available, but I would love to work with you one-on-one. Recovery coaching allows us to work together, and I am in your ear. This is a place where you're gonna find love, support, and truth. I'm gonna hold your hand. I'm gonna show up. I'm gonna hold you accountable so that you can show up for YOU. If you've been struggling—giving yourself permission to recover, giving yourself permission to eat, giving yourself permission to let go of those unhealthy beliefs and behaviors—and you feel like you should know what to do but you don't know what to do at the same time... I've been there. And I wish I had a coach during my recovery process. That's why I do what I do. 👉 Go to LindseyNichol.com and fill out a client application. ~ Looking for inspiration on what to journal? 💛 Head to our private Facebook community: Hope and Healing for Eating Disorder Recovery at www.herbestselfsociety.com  💛 Check out the Her Best Self Statement in the featured area for some journaling inspiration! Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Let me guess. It's a new year, and you're supposed to feel motivated. Excited. Ready for a fresh start. But instead? You just feel tired. Tired of being tired. Tired of trying. Tired of feeling like you're starting over AGAIN with your eating disorder recovery. Everywhere you look, you're being bombarded with "new year, new you" messages. Detoxes. Transformation challenges. Fresh starts. Clean slates. And if you're in ED recovery, you know exactly what that pressure feels like—and how triggering it is. Here's what I need you to hear: A calendar flipping to January 1st doesn't magically fix anything. But there IS one emotion that will actually get you out of ED hell. And it's probably not what you think. In this raw, no-BS episode, I'm getting provocative, confrontational, and real with you about the power of frustration—and why being absolutely sick and tired of yourself and your eating disorder might be the best thing that could happen to your recovery. This isn't your typical "be kind to yourself" recovery talk. This is me calling you out with love, getting you MAD, and helping you channel that anger into the fuel you need to actually change. In this episode, you'll discover: Why "new year, new you" is toxic garbage (especially in ED recovery) The ONE emotion that will actually get you out of ED hell (hint: it's frustration) Why feeling "sick of yourself" isn't weakness—it's readiness My personal story of how I had to get ANGRY with myself to finally stop playing games with recovery What your eating disorder has actually taken from you over the years (and how many more years you're going to let it take) 3 powerful action steps to channel your frustration: plate-throwing, journaling prompts, and the anger letter The raw, unfiltered reality of what recovery actually takes (no sugarcoating) Why you need to stop negotiating with your ED and start getting pissed off enough to do something different If you're done playing victim to your own story. If you're sick of half-assing your recovery. If you're ready to get FRUSTRATED enough to finally take action—this episode is for you. Let's go. 🔥 KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "It won't be a new year that brings anything new or better into your life. It will be YOU. And specifically, it will be you getting so absolutely frustrated, so fed up, so DONE with spending one more day entrenched in ED-ville that you finally say, 'Enough.'" 💛 "That frustration? That's not weakness. That's readiness. Frustration is your body and your soul screaming at you, 'WE ARE DONE WITH THIS.'" 💛 "I got sick of myself. Sick of my own BS. Sick of wasting time pretending I was recovering when I was really just maintaining my eating disorder with a smile on my face. I had to get angry to change." 💛 "What has the eating disorder taken from you? Not just this year. But over the YEARS. How many holidays has it ruined? How many relationships has it cost you? How much energy have you wasted? How many dreams have you put on hold?" 💛 "The eating disorder will take as much as you let it. And it will keep taking until you decide you're not giving it anything else." 💛 "You don't need a new year to change your life. You need to get so sick of yourself and your eating disorder that you finally decide enough is enough." 💛 "Recovery is not a 'new year, new you' situation. It's not a 30-day challenge. It's not a quick fix. It's not pretty. It's not Instagram-worthy. And it's definitely not easy." THE TRUTH ABOUT "NEW YEAR, NEW YOU" Let's call it what it is: the "new year, new you" message is toxic garbage. Especially in diet culture. Especially for women. And ESPECIALLY for women in eating disorder recovery. Right now, you're being sold the lie that January 1st is some magical portal where everything changes. You're seeing: Detox teas Meal plans Fitness challenges Before-and-after pictures "Fresh start" messaging everywhere For someone in recovery? That's a minefield. The eating disorder LOVES a fresh start. It loves rules. It loves restrictions. It loves the promise of control disguised as "health" and "wellness." But here's the truth: It won't be a new year that brings change. It will be YOU getting so frustrated that you refuse to spend one more day living like this. WHY FRUSTRATION IS YOUR FUEL ( NOT A PROBLEM) You're frustrated that: You're still here, still struggling, still stuck Another year has passed and you're not where you thought you'd be Recovery feels so hard You're missing out on life because you're too wrapped up in food, body, and control Here's what you need to hear: That frustration is not weakness. That's READINESS. Frustration is your body and soul screaming, "WE ARE DONE WITH THIS." It's the part of you that knows you were made for more. It's the part that's sick of the lies, sick of the exhaustion, sick of playing small. When you tap into that frustration—when you really let yourself FEEL how angry you are about what this eating disorder has taken from you—that becomes your fuel. That becomes the fire that drives you to actually change. MY STORY: THE MOMENT I GOT ANGRY ENOUGH TO CHANGE I was in treatment. I had a treatment team. I had a meal plan. My goal for that year was to gain 40 pounds. FORTY. And I knew that. I agreed to it. I said I was all in. But I was lying. To them. To myself. To God. I was pushing off meals. I was "cheating" on my treatment team. I was still counting calories in my head even though I knew better. I was doing the bare minimum and calling it recovery. I was playing the game without actually playing to win. And one day, I just caught myself. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "Who even are you? What are you doing? You KNOW what you need to do. You KNOW what recovery requires. And you're still choosing this?" I got angry. Not at my body. Not at food. At MYSELF. At my junk. At my excuses. At my half-hearted effort. I got sick of myself. Sick of my own BS. Sick of wasting time pretending I was recovering when I was really just maintaining my eating disorder with a smile on my face. THAT was the turning point. Not a new year. Not a motivational quote. Just me, getting so absolutely fed up that I finally decided to stop playing games. I had to get angry to change. And sis, so do you. WHAT HAS YOUR EATING DISORDER TAKEN FROM YOU? It's time to get uncomfortable. I need you to actually sit with this. I need you to get honest. I need you to get FRUSTRATED. What has the eating disorder taken from you over the YEARS? ❌ How many holidays has it ruined? ❌ How many family gatherings did you obsess over food instead of enjoying people? ❌ How many birthdays did you skip because you couldn't handle the cake? ❌ How many vacations did you ruin because you were too busy calculating, controlling, restricting? ❌ How many relationships has it cost you? ❌ How many friendships have you lost because you isolated yourself? ❌ How many moments with your kids did you miss because you were too exhausted, too distracted, too consumed? ❌ How much MONEY have you spent? (Diet programs, gym memberships, doctors, treatment, trying to "fix" yourself) ❌ How much ENERGY have you wasted? (Hours thinking about food, obsessing over your body, planning meals, beating yourself up) ❌ How many DREAMS have you put on hold? (The career, the trip, the LIFE you wanted—all sitting on the back burner) And how many more years are you going to let it take? 3 POWERFUL EXERCISES TO CHANNEL YOUR FRUSTRATION Don't just sit in the frustration. USE it. Channel it. Let it fuel you into action. EXERCISE 1: The Plate-Throwing Exercise (Optional but Therapeutic) If you need a physical release—go to a thrift store. Buy some cheap plates. Take them somewhere safe (garage, backyard). And throw them. Smash them. Let out every ounce of anger you have at this eating disorder. Let out every bit of frustration at yourself for staying stuck. (Be safe. Wear shoes. Don't hurt yourself. But let yourself FEEL the rage.) EXERCISE 2: The "What ED Has Taken" Journal Prompts Get a journal and answer these: ✍️ How many holidays has my eating disorder ruined? ✍️ How many relationships has it cost me? ✍️ How many moments with my kids/family/friends have I missed? ✍️ How much money have I spent trying to fix this while refusing to fully commit? ✍️ How much energy have I wasted obsessing over food and my body? ✍️ What dreams have I put on hold because the ED convinced me I wasn't ready? ✍️ What does my life look like in 5 years if I stay here? ✍️ What does my life look like in 5 years if I ACTUALLY recover? Write it all out. Don't hold back. Let yourself see the cost. Let yourself get MAD. EXERCISE 3: The Anger Letter Write a letter to your eating disorder. Tell it exactly what you think. Tell it what it's stolen from you. Tell it that you're done. That you're not doing this anymore. That you're taking your life back. Then? Burn it. Rip it up. Throw it away. Symbolically release it. THE RAW REALITY: WHAT RECOVERY ACTUALLY TAKES Hope is beautiful. But you also need to know what this is going to require. Recovery is NOT: ❌ A "new year, new you" situation ❌ A 30-day challenge ❌ A quick fix ❌ Pretty or Instagram-worthy ❌ Easy Here's what recovery ACTUALLY takes: ✅ Showing up when you don't feel like it ✅ Eating the meal even when the ED voice is screaming at you not to ✅ Sitting with discomfort without numbing it ✅ Asking for help when you'd rather isolate ✅ Being honest with your treatment team even when you're ashamed ✅ Gaining weight if that's what your body needs (yes, I said it) ✅ Letting go of control, perfectionism, and the idea you can do this halfway ✅ CONSISTENCY—day after day after day, even when it's boring or hard ✅ Getting so frustrated that you stop negotiating with the ED, stop bargaining, stop playing games The eating disorder will take as much as you let it. It will keep taking until YOU decide you're not giving it anything else. READY TO STOP PLAYING GAMES? WORK WITH ME IN 2026 If you're sitting here thinking, "Yes, Lindsey, I'm done. I'm so done. I need help and I need it now"—then take action TODAY. 💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE My group coaching community where you'll get the support, accountability, and sisterhood you need to actually do this. No more doing it alone. No more pretending you've got it figured out. Just real women doing real recovery work together. Join us here: www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING If you're ready to go ALL in, if you need deep transformational support, if you want someone in your corner who's going to call you out on your BS and remind you who you are when the ED gets loud—let's work together. I'm not here to coddle you. I'm here to help you get FREE. 👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application. Let's make 2026 the year you stop playing games and start actually recovering. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Can I be real with you for a second? 2025 was blah. Not bad. Not terrible. Just... blah. Some wonderful moments. Some not-so-wonderful moments. A lot of ordinary, messy, in-between moments that felt really uncomfortable for someone like me who's used to pushing, achieving, and making things happen. Sound familiar? Because that's exactly what recovery from disordered eating feels like too, doesn't it? Some days are good. Some days are hard. Most days are just... blah. You're not in crisis, but you're also not experiencing the freedom you're aching for. You're just stuck in the gray. But here's what I'm learning as I step into 2026: I don't need perfect. I need to become. In this episode, I'm getting raw and honest about my word for 2026—becoming—and why it terrifies me and excites me all at the same time. I'm sharing how my 2025 word "leadership" showed up in ways I never expected (including firing staff, getting burned by a coach, and learning what NOT to be as a leader). And I'm challenging you to find your own word for 2026. Because sis, having a word of the year in eating disorder recovery? It's a game-changer. In this episode, you'll discover: Why 2025 felt "blah" for me (and why that's okay) How my word "leadership" in 2025 taught me hard lessons I didn't see coming What "becoming" means for me in 2026—and why it's the scariest and most freeing word I could choose Why becoming is about transitioning from structure to being okay in the gray How a word of the year gives you a North Star in recovery when you feel lost Why your identity isn't lost in the eating disorder—it's buried (and recovery is the process of becoming your true self) Practical questions to help YOU choose your word for 2026 Why your word doesn't have to be perfect to be powerful If you're ready to stop waiting for perfect and start leaning into who you're becoming—even if you don't have all the answers yet—this episode is for you. Let's make 2026 the year of becoming. Together. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "2025 wasn't a bad year. It wasn't a terrible year. But it also wasn't this explosive, breakthrough, 'oh my gosh, everything is amazing' kind of year either. It was just... blah." 💛 "That's exactly what recovery from disordered eating feels like too. Some days are good. Some days are hard. Most days are just... blah. You're not in crisis, but you're also not experiencing the freedom you're aching for. You're just stuck in the gray." 💛 "I don't need the perfect word. I need the right word. The word that's going to challenge me, stretch me, and call me into who I'm becoming." 💛 "Becoming means becoming more aligned and grounded in my purpose—knowing what's for me and what isn't. It means becoming a more present mom and wife, not just existing in the same space as my family but actually being there with them." 💛 "Becoming also means transitioning from so much structure and control to becoming someone who is okay in the gray. Someone who doesn't need to have it all figured out to move forward. And let me tell you, that is terrifying. But it's also freeing." 💛 "Your identity isn't lost in the eating disorder, sis. It's buried. And recovery is the process of becoming your true and best self—an identity that isn't based on weight or image or what other people think of you." 💛 "You don't have to have it all figured out. You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to know exactly who you're becoming or what that looks like. You just have to keep showing up." WHAT "BECOMING" MEANS FOR 2026 In this episode, I share what my word "becoming" means for me personally: ✨ Becoming more aligned and grounded in my purpose – knowing what's for me and what isn't ✨ Becoming a more present mom and wife – not just existing in the same space but actually being there ✨ Becoming more honest with myself around people-pleasing – finally laying down the boundaries I've been too scared to set ✨ Becoming the businesswoman who is ready to embrace the next season and all the favor God has for me ✨ Transitioning from structure to being okay in the gray – someone who doesn't need to have it all figured out to move forward The truth? This terrifies me. But it's also freeing. And that's exactly why it's the right word. WHY A WORD OF THE YEAR MATTERS IN RECOVERY Having a word of the year in eating disorder recovery is powerful for three reasons: 1. It gives you a North Star. When you're in the thick of recovery, when the eating disorder is loud, when you feel lost or stuck—your word can ground you. It reminds you of who you're becoming and why you're doing this hard work. 2. It shifts your identity. The eating disorder has convinced you that your identity is tied to your weight, your body, your food rules, your control. But your word? It reminds you that you are becoming someone deeper. Someone truer. Someone who isn't defined by the lies the ED has been feeding you. 3. It gives you permission to be in process. Recovery isn't linear. It's messy. It's uncomfortable. It's full of blah days and setbacks. But when you have a word like "becoming," you remember that you don't have to be perfect. You just have to keep becoming. HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR WORD FOR 2026 Ready to find your word? Here's what I want you to do: Sit down with a journal. Get quiet. Get honest. And ask yourself: ✍️ What do I need more of this year? ✍️ What am I ready to let go of? ✍️ Who am I becoming in my recovery? ✍️ What is God calling me into? ✍️ What would freedom feel like for me? Your word might be something like: Brave Trust Nourish Grace Enough Present Surrender It might be a word you've never thought of before. But when you land on it, you'll know. You'll feel it. Then: Write it down. Put it somewhere you can see it every single day. Let it be your reminder when the eating disorder gets loud. Let it be your anchor when recovery feels impossible. LESSONS FROM 2025: LEADERSHIP In this episode, I share the raw truth about how my 2025 word "leadership" showed up: I had to make the really hard decision to fire some of my support staff and go back to running my business solo I invested a large amount of money in a business coach who didn't deliver and didn't keep her commitment—and I was left feeling burned and frustrated But that experience taught me what NOT to be as a leader and who I wanted to attract into my life and business It eventually led me to an incredible coach and mentor who has been exactly what I needed Leadership meant I had to lead myself first—push forward without second-guessing, stop questioning myself, and just trust The lesson? Leaders keep going. Even when it's hard. Even when it's uncomfortable. Even when they want to quit. READY TO STEP INTO WHO YOU'RE BECOMING IN 2026? If you're thinking, "Lindsey, I love this. I want to choose a word. I want to step into who I'm becoming. But I don't know how to do this alone"—I get it. And you don't have to do this alone. WORK WITH ME IN 2026 💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE My group coaching community where women just like you come together to do the deep work of recovery. You'll have support, accountability, and a sisterhood that gets you. We meet monthly for coaching calls, and you'll have access to a community that will remind you who you're becoming when you forget. www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING If you're ready to go all in, if you're ready for deep transformational work, if you're ready to step into the fullness of who you're becoming—let's work together. I'll walk beside you, hold you accountable, and help you dismantle the eating disorder once and for all. I'm taking applications right now for 2026. 👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application. Let's make 2026 the year of becoming. Together. A NOTE FROM LINDSEY You don't have to have it all figured out. You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to know exactly who you're becoming or what that looks like. You just have to keep showing up. Keep choosing yourself. Keep leaning into the uncomfortable, messy, gray space of recovery. Because that's where the magic happens, sis. That's where transformation lives. That's where you become who you were always meant to be. So here's to 2026. Here's to becoming. Here's to choosing yourself. And here's to stepping into the freedom that's been waiting for you all along. I love you, girl. I believe in you. And I can't wait to see who you're becoming this year. 💛 Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Can you believe we're at the end of 2025? What a year it's been. As we close out this incredible year, I wanted to take a moment to celebrate YOU—and reflect on the five episodes that resonated most deeply with this community. These are the most downloaded, most loved, and most life-changing episodes of the entire year. If you've been part of this journey all year long, this episode is your reminder of just how far you've come. And if you're new here? Welcome. This is your crash course in the content that has sparked the most transformation, healing, and freedom for women in eating disorder recovery. Today, I'm counting down the top five episodes of 2025—from number five all the way to the #1 most downloaded episode of the year. Each one of these episodes represents a breakthrough. A shift. A moment where you chose yourself and your recovery over the eating disorder's lies. My hope for this episode? That it reminds you of the tools you already have, inspires you to keep forging forward, and lights a fire in you as we head into 2026. In this episode, you'll hear about: The #5 episode that helped you connect your emotions to your eating disorder thoughts The #4 episode that called out what's keeping you stuck (and gave you permission to stop) The #3 episode that showed former athletes how to use their competitive edge for recovery, not restriction The #2 episode that gave you a 3-step framework to end all-or-nothing thinking forever And the #1 MOST DOWNLOADED episode of 2025—the one that helped you move beyond the mirror and overcome body image distortion Plus, I'm sharing how you can take the next step in your recovery as we head into 2026—because listening is powerful, but implementation is where the magic happens. Let's dive in, sis. This one's for you. 💛   KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "These five episodes represent transformation. Growth. Breaking free from the lies. And stepping into your truth." 💛 "Listening to episodes is amazing. But implementation? That's where the magic happens." 💛 "You are not stuck. You are not broken. And freedom is not just possible for you—it's already yours. You just have to choose it." 💛 "The same drive that made you an incredible athlete is the same drive that's going to set you free." 💛 "Recovery is not about perfection. It's about progress." 💛 "The mirror is not the enemy. Your perception is." READY TO MAKE 2026 YOUR YEAR OF FREEDOM? If you're sitting here thinking, "Lindsey, I've listened to all these episodes, but I still feel stuck. I still need more support. I still can't do this alone"—I hear you. And I want you to know that you don't have to do this alone. As we head into 2026, I want to invite you to take the next step in your recovery. You deserve more than just consuming content. You deserve personalized support. You deserve a coach who's going to walk beside you, hold you accountable, and remind you who you are when the eating disorder tries to convince you otherwise. WORK WITH ME IN 2026 💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE My group coaching community where women just like you come together to heal, support each other, and do the deep work of recovery in a safe, sacred space. You get access to me, to the community, to monthly coaching calls, and to a sisterhood that gets it. That gets YOU. www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  💛 THE FREEDOM FORMULA EXPERIENCE (1:1 Personalized Coaching) My signature 1:1 coaching program for the woman who's ready to go all in. Who's ready for deep, transformational work. Who's ready to dismantle the eating disorder once and for all and step into the fullness of who she was created to be. I'm taking applications right now for 2026. If you're hearing this and something in your spirit is saying, "Yes, this is my time. This is my year"—I want you to listen to that voice. 👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application. Let's talk about what support looks like for you. Let's make 2026 the year you finally break free. EPISODES MENTIONED 📍 Episode 212: What Is Body Dysmorphic Disorder? 6 Powerful Tips to Overcome Body Image Distortion So That You Can Move Beyond the Mirror 📍 Episode 228: The Recovery Mindset Shift That Ends All-or-Nothing Food & Body Thinking Forever + The 3 Step Framework to Implement it Just for You! 📍 Episode 223: Former Athletes & Eating Disorders ~ Why Freedom Feels Impossible (Until Now) + Your Competitive Edge Solution 📍 Episode 210: STOP Doing These 10 Things if You Feel Stuck & Chained to Disordered Patterns ~ Part 1 📍 Episode 190: Did You Know 92% of Eating Disorder Thoughts Are Hidden Emotions? Here Is the Scientific Truth Behind 'Feeling Fat' + 2 Tools to Help You Silence the Voice LOVED THIS EPISODE? If this year-end recap resonated with you: ⭐ Rate and review Her Best Self on Apple Podcasts—it helps more women find freedom 💬 Share this episode with someone who needs to hear these top 5 episodes 📲 Tag me on Instagram with which episode was YOUR favorite this year! A NOTE FROM LINDSEY Thank you so much for being here this year. Thank you for trusting me with your story, your struggle, and your journey. Thank you for showing up, even when it's hard. As we close out 2025, I want you to remember this: You are not stuck. You are not broken. And freedom is not just possible for you—it's already yours. You just have to choose it. So here's to 2026. Here's to choosing yourself. Here's to showing up. Here's to doing the work. And here's to stepping into the freedom that's been waiting for you all along. I love you, sis. I believe in you. And I can't wait to see what God does in your life this year. Until next time, keep forging forward. You've got this. 💛 📧 Email Lindsey: info@lindseynichol.com  🌐 Apply for Recovery Coaching: www.herbestself.co  💕 Join the Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com  Limited spots available for January coaching - only 2 slots remaining Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.