Struggle Care

Today’s topic is exciting: toxic masculinity, which might be better termed “functional masculinity.” I’m joined by Alex Frankel, who grew up in San Francisco clearly understanding that the definition of hotness was dictated by beautiful people in popular magazines. During his entire childhood, he felt trapped in his fat body and hated how he looked. He finally realized that being hot was more than perfect abs and bulging biceps but more of an attitude. Alex is now a successful plus-size model, and he’s a body-acceptance advocate and role model for fat guys all around the world. He created the Hot Fat Guy Club to dispel the myths around diet, culture, fatphobia, and other fat people stereotypes. His goal was to create a welcoming community where people are celebrated and not shamed for their body types. Why do I love this topic? It’s because men are not often talked about in the body positivity movement. Join us for a new perspective from a Hot Fat Guy! Show Highlights:● An overview of Dr. Ronald Levant’s Seven Tenets of Traditional Masculine Ideology● Where the problem of masculinity originates because of deeply entrenched patriarchy, traditional masculine values, programming, and gender policing● Fascinating trends in how young boys and girls segregate themselves until puberty hits● Why Alex believes a lack of empathy and respect for other human beings are core issues with today’s masculinity● How we are taught the power differential by society around relationships and rejection● How programmed traditional masculinity can be dormant until it flares up later in life● The link between church and religious propaganda and traditional masculinity● Why men have been programmed by traditional masculinity around vulnerability and feeling shame in showing emotions● Three things to note around weaponized vulnerability, emotional safety, and caring feelings● An example about the inability to express or understand emotionsResources and Links:Connect with Alex Frankel and the Hot Fat Guy Club: TikTok and InstagramMentioned in this episode: Therapy Chat podcast and The Tough Standard: The Hard Truths About Masculinity and Violence by Ronald F. Levant and Shana PryorConnect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and FacebookGet KC’s book, How to Keep House While DrowningWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today, we are covering an important topic today, but maybe not in the way you expect. I’m joined by Rachel Mulholland (aka Shug CM), a therapist whom I met on TikTok because of her incredible content around sex education for children. Today’s focus is on how our lives as adults are impacted if we don’t get comprehensive sex education as children. Join us for the conversation!Show Highlights: How KC’s story from her teenage years illustrates the gaps that most people have in their education about sex and the fact that sex ed is NOT a one-time conversation How “purity culture” is impacting teenagers in certain places in the US in damaging ways How even most comprehensive sex ed doesn’t address the pleasurable side of sex–and (for females) that the pleasure doesn’t have to come from another person How sexual predators take advantage of the lack of information in sex ed from SAFE places Why parents have real fear about talking to their kids about sex ed The effects of NOT educating kids that sex and pleasure don’t always go together Rachel’s Four Pillars of Safe Sex: confirmation, communication, lubrication, and enthusiastic participation Why parents should be aware when their kids are ready to hear and learn–and begin at the most basic level appropriate for their age How to answer those first little-kid questions around, “Where do babies come from?” Why curiosity is a foundational part of body talk for kids–not just around sexuality How parents can work through their own feelings around sex ed with their children Why Rachel’s next project is a book about body talk Resources:Connect with Rachel: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and Website (coming soon!)Recommended by Rachel: How Do You Make A Baby by Anna FiskeConnect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You have probably heard me say, “You can’t save the rainforest if you are depressed.” The truth is that eco-shame and eco-perfectionism can get in the way of our taking steps toward better functioning. If you have ever felt guilty for not being “eco-friendly enough,” this episode is for you! Rebecca Gray is an environmental epidemiologist. With her master’s degree in public health, she studies disease, the patterns of disease, and health at population levels within communities and countries. She also studies how factors in the environment impact health by causing and promoting disease. Rebecca works with government agencies like the EPA and CDC to develop water guidelines to keep pollutants out of the water supply. Show Highlights: How Rebecca has experienced forms of eco-shame in her profession How some people push the environmental movement in ways that are able-ist The trap we fall into to “embody the archetype” of the space we occupy How social media plays into the eco-perfectionism pressure we feel Why functionality matters more than the morality of what we do in care tasks, eating, the environment, etc.  Rebecca’s view of today’s environmental movement Why we should ask ourselves how an eco-behavior affects our health and well being What really does need to happen to prevent climate change How our capitalistic society colors what we can do to be eco-friendly How differing narratives make us feel pressured to make individual changes and collective changes to “save the world” How to identify what we need to function well, fill in gaps with eco-friendly behaviors, and learn how to conserve our energy How to take a more reasonable–and less stressful–view of sustainability swaps Actions that have the least impact and the most impact on environmentalism Rebecca’s advice about letting ourselves off the hook for the decisions we make Links & Resources:Connect with Rebecca: LinkedIn Connect with KC: TikTok and InstagramGet KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Lesley Cook, a psychologist specializing in ADHD and neurodivergence, delves into the complexities of rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD). She clarifies how RSD manifests differently in individuals and its connection to emotional pain and personal experiences. The conversation highlights the need for understanding and compassion regarding RSD, challenging stigma and advocating for growth strategies. Listeners gain insights into the emotional intricacies of RSD and the importance of supportive communication in fostering personal development.

Cassandra Aarssen, a professional organizer and founder of Clutterbug, shares her journey from 'super slob' to organization expert. She introduces four unique organizing styles inspired by bugs: Butterflies, Bees, Crickets, and Ladybugs, each with distinct preferences for tidiness. Cas offers practical tips for families and kids on maintaining order, emphasizing the importance of creating personalized systems that suit one’s habits. Discover how to balance organization with everyday life while tackling perfectionism and clutter challenges!

We’re bringing back one of our most insightful and impactful episodes! In our very first episode, you heard my conversation with Dr. Lesley Cook about executive functioning. She had so much wisdom to share that I couldn’t wait to have her back—this time, to explore the topic of self-compassion.Is it possible to have too much self-compassion? How do we find the balance between being kind to ourselves while still striving for progress? Dr. Lesley shares her expertise, breaking down the complexities of self-compassion and how it plays a crucial role in our personal growth.About Our Guest:Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist specializing in ADHD and neurodivergence. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia, where she works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families.Show Highlights:✅ Finding the balance between self-compassion and personal growth✅ Understanding self-compassion through Dr. Kristin Neff’s work✅ The role of shame and how it connects to self-compassion✅ Strategies for shifting from shame to self-compassion✅ How self-compassion can become a learned behavior we pass down to our childrenLink and Resources: Connect with Dr. Lesley: TikTok and InstagramConnect with KC: TikTok and InstagramGet KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Exciting news unfolds as the host transitions to a twice-a-month release schedule, paving the way for new creative projects. Listeners get a sneak peek into a compelling new book about relationship boundaries and accountability. A shift towards writing a cookbook featuring easy meals adds to the creative mix, alongside a venture into fiction with a fantasy romance novel. The discussion also emphasizes the importance of compassion and reframing perspective in navigating challenging relationships.

Rev. Lizzie, an Episcopal priest and author well-known for her focus on queer affirmation, shares insights from her new book. She discusses the transformative nature of joy in faith and the importance of unpacking inherited beliefs about sin and self-worth. Lizzie delves into the complexities of spirituality and personal identity, advocating for a more loving interpretation of Christianity. Additionally, she reads a poignant excerpt about her own birthing experience, highlighting God’s unconditional love amidst societal judgments.

Dana Miranda, author of *You Don't Need a Budget*, offers a fresh take on personal finance, challenging the stigma around debt. She argues for a more nuanced understanding of money, emphasizing that budgeting isn't the only answer to financial struggles. Miranda discusses the concept of 'Healthy Rich' and promotes debt as a strategic tool, especially for the wealthy. She also suggests alternatives to traditional financial advice, advocating for inclusivity and accessible resources in financial education.

Today’s episode is about surviving abuse, and I’m joined by Lisa Phillips, an abuse survivor. She shares her horrifying experience of surviving abuse at the hands of Jeffrey Epstein, along with so many other young girls. Lisa hosts a podcast called From Now On, where she dives headfirst into stories of abuse and recovery. Join us.Show Highlights: Lisa’s experience with Jeffrey Epstein when she was a young model in NYC Understanding the scope of sex trafficking and sexual predators Common questions survivors ask themselves: “Am I the crazy one? How could I not have known? How could I have been so stupid?” Red flags, boundaries, predators, and “the switch” Look out for “love bombers”! The irony of sharing a history of sexual abuse with a partner (“They want to abuse you in the same way you were abused.”) It’s hard to leave a relationship if you are trauma-bonded to that partner. Abuse makes you more at risk of being abused again. Lisa’s podcast guests, their stories, and universal experiences of abuse Talking to our kids about evil people and “bad guys” The main danger is NOT from strangers. Resources and Links:Connect with Lisa Phillips: Instagram, From Now On Podcast, Podcast Instagram, Podcast TikTok, and From Now On YouTubeConnect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and FacebookGet KC’s book, How to Keep House While DrowningWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices