No Visible Bruises

Is Vladimir Putin a malignant narcissist? In this episode, I discuss how people become narcissists and how Putin’s childhood developed him into the man he is today. My heart goes out to the people of Ukraine and I wish nothing but the best for the country during this troubling time.    What You Will Learn In This Episode: Why people become narcissists and how childhood plays a big part What we can learn from Vladimir Putin’s personality to better understand people with a narcissistic personality The reasons why Vladimir Putin may be a malignant narcissist   Being the golden child in his family led Putin to seek a sense of worth from people at every stage of his life. I hope that what we can learn from Vladimir Putin’s personality helps us to better understand people with a narcissistic personality.   Resources: Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse  Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/   DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.    THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS PODCAST, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE PODCAST AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT

It’s so common to avoid intimacy once you discover that you are in a relationship with a narcissist, and no, it isn’t because you are frigid! In this episode, I will discuss how our nervous system reacts to intimacy with a narcissist and why your reaction will usually keep you safe.    What You Will Learn In This Episode: How your approach to sex is impacted by being in a relationship with a narcissist Why you will avoid intimacy to stay safe in your relationship Strategies to regain an intimate life after leaving a narcissist How to admit to avoiding intimacy   I’ll also discuss how to regain your intimacy once you’ve left a narcissistic relationship by being able to deconstruct the emotions you are feeling and using a negative reaction to create a positive outcome. We can’t change what has happened, but we can absolutely change how your body reacts to your past experiences.   Resources: Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse  Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/    

It’s common to think that your relationship is getting better when your partner starts showing empathy, but with a narcissist, they’re faking empathy to get what they want. So in this episode I’m going to show you how narcissists use empathy to manipulate the people around them and how you can ensure you don’t fall into the trap of thinking things are getting better. What You Will Learn In This Episode: The 3 layers of empathy How narcissists use fake empathy to get what they want The medical diagnosis of narcissism and why an official diagnosis can be an issue How to avoid falling into the trap of fake empathy To understand how narcissists use fake empathy, I explore the different types of empathy and how narcissists can manipulate you by taking advantage of the behavior they see in actual empaths. I hope this episode will help you identify some of the warning signs when dealing with narcissists. I’d love to hear your stories and situations in dealing with “empathic” narcissists, so please share your experiences with me by emailing hello@carolinestrawson.com Resources: Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse  Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

I have experienced what it’s like to go through a relationship with a narcissist who cheats on you, and getting out of that relationship isn’t as easy as you may think. In this episode, I’m going to discuss what my experience was, and the mindset I found myself in, that made leaving my narcissistic partner so difficult.    What You Will Learn In This Episode: My own personal experience with a narcissistic partner who is cheating How to deal with the shame, guilt and personal blame of a cheating partner Why you may find staying in the relationship more comfortable than leaving it Strategies to avoid blaming yourself and tips to a safe exit from the relationship How to find a safe community to help in your post-narcissist life   From making excuses for your partner's behaviour to blaming yourself for them cheating, it’s important to get yourself into a positive mindset so that you can leave your narcissistic partner as soon as possible. I hope my story can shed some light on what a lot of people go through when they find themselves being cheated on so that you can avoid making the same mistakes.   Resources: Divorce Became My Superpower: https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Became-Superpower-Caroline-Strawson/dp/1726255549 Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse  Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/  

It can feel familiar to be in a relationship with a narcissist and we sometimes need reminding that a relationship with a narcissist is an unsafe relationship. So in this episode, I will discuss the three common stages of healing after leaving a narcissist. From noticing that you are in a narcissistic relationship to having post-traumatic growth, I want to help you live a safe and comfortable life again.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: How to notice that you’re in an unsafe relationship Deciding when to leave a narcissistic relationship How to live a post-narcissistic life Why we may feel comfortable with a narcissist and how to break that pattern How to approach a normal relationship and why it may feel strange We will typically end up with narcissists because we’ve been in unhealthy relationships previously, so after breaking up with a narcissist we need to learn how to function in a healthy relationship. The 3 stages of healing that I share in this episode will help you feel comfortable in a “normal” relationship and will hopefully help you lead a better and more fulfilling life. Resources: Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse  Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

I have some BIG NEWS! I’m currently in the process of planning the relaunch of The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast and I want YOU to have a say in the future of the podcast. Your comments and emails have been so amazing over the last year and I want nothing more than to make sure you know how grateful I am for you. So listen in to hear how you can shape the podcast so that I know what topics you want me to cover, what guests I should bring on and most of all, how I can help you in your recovery. What You Will Learn In This Episode: The plan for this podcast and how thankful I am for YOU How you can influence and shape the future of this podcast Why safety is THE priority when discussing narcissistic trauma The ways you can get in touch with me so I can hopefully help you I want to give you the ability to mould the future of my podcast so that I can help you the most! I want to know what you’ve enjoyed so far and what content you’d love to hear in new episodes. If you’d be so kind as to leave me feedback on the podcast to give me an insight into what you’d like to hear in future episodes, I’d be so grateful. You can let me know what you want from the podcast by filling out this form here: https://form.jotform.com/220232614900341 Resources: Have your say on the future of this podcast: https://form.jotform.com/220232614900341 Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse  Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

In this episode, we will talk about depression and narcissistic abuse. Although there is some controversy around whether narcissistic abuse causes depression or not, once depression is identified in the victims of narcissistic abuse, that is not really relevant from a trauma-informed perspective. The focus should be on the origin of that depression and on the protector parts that show up. Today, I'll be sharing my experiences with depression during my marriage with my ex-husband, how I identified depression as a protector part for me and what it was trying to protect me from. What You Will Learn In This Episode: - How being diagnosed with postnatal depression affected me and the way I saw myself - What role my own stories of not feeling good enough had in my decision to stay in an abusive relationship - Why I now know that depression was acting as a protector part - The importance of getting curious about the origin of our protector parts In my case, it wasn't that my ex-husband abuse was making me feel depressed. The core wound that stepped up for me, my "depression protector part", was protecting me from what my system considered the bigger danger at the time. So my invitation for you is, instead of trying to minimise depression symptoms, to get curious about its origin and its root cause.  Resources: - Episode 079 15 Gaslighting Terms A Narcissist Will Use https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/079-15-gaslighting-terms-a-narcissist-will-use/id1527479270  - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse  - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

When we are in a narcissistic abusive relationship, we hear certain phrases so often that we normalise hearing them, but they actually erode our mental health. The narcissist is gaslighting us.  In this episode, we will go through 15 gaslighting phrases I heard during my marriage with a covert narcissist. We will explore the devastating effects these phrases have on our confidence, mental health and on our self-worth.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - Why gaslighting is a form of abuse, and what effects it can have on our mental health - The gaslighting phrases that can make us doubt our own sanity - Why most narcissists use these gaslighting phrases to protect themselves - What we can do to prevent being gaslighted by narcissist abusers Hearing any of these 15 phrases and their variations regularly in our relationship is a huge red flag, and it should be enough to make us curious about it. The first step is to seek help, whether from a professional, a counsellor or even an online group, and then understand that we are doing what we can with the tools we have, from the programming we had from birth. We should never forget that being in an abusive relationship is not our fault; we are in it for a reason. Once we understand that reason, we can start working on it and fix it.   Resources:  - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse  - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Something I get asked a lot on social media is, how do I know if I'm dating a narcissist again? The decision to start dating again after a separation is personal and it doesn't have a specific time to occur. However, after suffering narcissistic abuse, whether we are looking for Mr or Mrs Right, or Mr or Mrs Right Now, one thing is sure: we want to avoid dating a narcissist. In this episode, we will go through the 12 signs you should pay attention to to know if you are dating a narcissist.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - Beware of love bombing at the beginning of the relationship - What a strong entitlement attitude is really telling us - The things we can easily spot during a casual conversation about how narcissists talk and what they talk about - Being alert to manipulative attitudes and the consequences of not following their plans - What we can read from a strong lack of commitment and a constant tendency to break the rules - Why narcissists put others down all the time, why they are master gaslighters, and why they don't have long-term friendships It usually takes some time, at least six or seven dates, to spot a narcissist. However, we can have our eyes and ears open to these 12 signs, be aware of them and see if any of them rarely appears, appears often, or almost all the time. We must be patient and we don't need to go full-blown from the very beginning. If we've found the right person and the relationship is meant to be, then time is not really an issue.  Resources:  - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse  - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

One of the most challenging things I had to deal with during my relationship with my ex-husband was emotional eating. I'll share with you the situations that triggered my emotional eating protector parts, the effects that had on my self-image, self-esteem and mental health. We will also talk about why our body chooses emotional eating to protect us and how to deal with it.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - What exactly triggered my emotional eating protector parts  - What my emotional eating was protecting me from - Why emotional eating is so effective as a pain release mechanism - What is emotional eating distracting us from, and why we must get curious about it Once we start recognising we are not our protector parts, that we are blended into them and that they are there to distract us from feeling pain, we'll start seeing things differently. It will be easier to lift the shame and guilt that trigger our emotional eating protector parts. Then we can get curious about why we feel that guilt or shame and work on those issues. Resources:  - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse  - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/