2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Check out the newest podcast from YMH Studios "Not A Damn Chance"! Hosted by pro skateboarder Neen Williams and Michelin-starred chef Phillip Frankland Lee SPONSORS: - Get started at https://factormeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50% off plus FREE shipping on your first box. - Make friends and grab some merch at https://www.drinkporosos.com/ This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Bert is on a retreat in Istanbul so Tom Segura is joined by the brilliantly bizarre Harland Williams for an unhinged episode packed with supposedly true stories, bootyholes, and too many farts. Harland kicks things off by reminiscing about fingering calamari and the first time someone touched his arse—with a thermometer. Tom shares the traumatic moment he had to show a friend his infamously hairy sphincter... and yes, he ends up showing Harland too. Surprisingly, the conversation spirals into absurd territory with erotic drawings, smut searches, fart-catching attempts, a Dominican dick flash, and a deep dive into Enny’s alleged fondness for buttholes. Harland doesn’t disappoint either—he reacts to fart videos, tells a story about dating Madonna, and looks forward to tanning with Tom. The two also talk about creativity, recreational drugs, Harland's distrust of nicotine pouches, the anthems of both Canada and Texas, plus playing doctor, and horseshoes with neck pillows. Oh, and Harland names his favorite dictator. Stick around to find out if Harland ends up eating Tom. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 290 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:02:55 - Arses & Calamari Rings 00:14:34 - So Much Hair 00:26:10 - What's Going On With Canada? 00:31:24 - Measurements, Buzzes, & Vices 00:41:37 - Favorite Dictator 00:51:49 - Dating Madonna 00:55:46 - Clip: Baddie Farts 00:56:49 - Play Back The Tape 00:58:13 - Clip: Fart In One 00:59:29 - Tanning & Tour Dates 01:05:45 - Gas, Gashes, & Gruesome Videos 01:11:48 - Harland Wants To Eat Tom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SPONSORS: - Grab your tickets at https://NASCAR.com/tickets. If you can’t make it, grab a beer and your friends, find your seat on the couch, and gear up for some of the best racing in the world at Charlotte Motor speedway. Tune in to the Coca Cola 600 this Sunday at 6:00 PM Eastern - Brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/bears to get 10% off your first month - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears. - Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at https://mintmobile.com/BEARS. This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer go deep on Tom’s new Netflix series Bad Thoughts — a disturbing, hilarious, and brilliantly unhinged ride that Charo absolutely hated. The Bears talk about favorite sketches, behind-the-scenes moments, bloopers, and why Bert is both joking and not joking about not being cast. They dive into the art of acting, working with writers, and getting lost in characters — plus Bert’s dream roles if he had been invited. Also: Tom's Italian guy character, hair insecurity, Kevin James dying his beard, and Tom's preference for a show that doesn't look like a comedy. Elsewhere, Bert shares his Post Malone + Jelly Roll solo mission, NASCAR plans, and recent attempts at eating clean and not drinking again. There’s debate over royal titles, Meghan Markle, Prince William, and a killer impression of the royal family worrying about baby skin tone. Plus: Bert’s mail opening trauma, how he weighs himself, cauliflower pizza, bar takeovers, and why Tom might actually like who he is. It’s full sketch comedy breakdown meets chaotic Bear therapy—don’t miss it. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 289 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:20 - Tom Talks Bad Thoughts 00:13:50 - Cinematography & Awkward Sex Scenes 00:21:45 - Casting Choices & Putting Friends In Movies 00:33:23 - Tom's Acting, Bert's "Sobriety", & NASCAR 00:40:20 - The Royals & Meghan Markle 00:55:01 - Bills 01:03:01 - Big Boys 01:09:31 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join two comedian pals as they dive into hilarious banter and spontaneous discussions. They share their wild stories, highlight the joys and challenges of engaging with their audience, and invite special guests for lively interactions. Expect plenty of laughter and playful exchanges that showcase their dynamic friendship. It's a delightful mix of humor and heartfelt moments!

Join N.O.R.E, the charismatic rapper and Drink Champs host, alongside Jason Kelce, a Super Bowl champion and former NFL star, as they tackle the hilarious challenges of a 5K run. They dive into the quirks of fitness culture, share outrageous drinking stories, and engage in playful banter about memorable nicknames in sports. The trio also reflects on the journey of personal growth through running and hip-hop, weaving together tales of camaraderie and the sometimes ridiculous side of competition. It's a laugh-out-loud conversation you won't want to miss!

Tom Segura chats with MrBallen, a former Navy SEAL turned YouTube sensation known for his dark storytelling. They dive into chilling true crime mysteries, including the haunting Yuba County Five case, and share the harrowing realities of oil rig dangers. MrBallen reflects on his unique journey from the military to crafting engaging narratives that deeply resonate with audiences. The duo also explores fascinating topics like habitable exoplanets and conspiracies surrounding space travel, blending humor with captivating tales that will keep you on the edge of your seat.

Join funnyman Thomas Lennon, known for his roles in "Reno 911!" and "Night at the Museum," as he gets candid with Bert Kreischer. They swap wild stories about real-life confrontations and the absurdity of Amazon reviews for "Mein Kampf." The duo dives into the unique all-female Blue Origin space flight and debate which celebrities should be launched into orbit next. Lennon shares his experience working with Christopher Nolan and the highlights of navigating fame, alongside hilarious anecdotes about claustrophobia and surreal spelunking experiences.

Bert and Tim recover from a wild night at a gay bar while IV drips infuse them with humor. They discuss Instagram FOMO and the magic of home-cooked meals by minority women. There's a quirky obsession with a chola influencer and a hilarious cocktail created during their takeover. The duo delves into the amusing nature of compliments, the appeal of the Kelce brothers, and even the audacity of 'sampling your own sauce.' Expect laughter, cultural reflections, and outrageous stories throughout!

Get ready for laughs as the Bears dive into unexpected p*rn genres and debate the art of 'homie head.' Bert shares a wild story about choke slamming two dudes on live TV, while the duo prepares for a hilarious gay bar takeover. They discuss the quirks of international women and the sexiest accents, all sprinkled with humorous tales from wrestling events. The conversation dances through arranged marriages, the dynamics of gay culture, and a quirky take on creating a retirement community. Pack a towel; it’s about to get sweaty!

Kyle Dunnigan, a witty comedian and impressionist recognized for his antics on 'Kill Tony', joins the conversation, sharing his eccentric dating history, particularly his preference for taller partners. The duo hilariously navigates the complexities of modern dating through personal anecdotes and some unforgettable impressions of figures like Caitlyn Jenner and Bill Maher. They also delve into their experiences of bombing at private gigs and the absurdities of live performances, creating a perfect blend of humor and relatability.

Joey Diaz joins the conversation, sharing hilarious tales from his recent hospital visit and the unexpected challenges of blue balls. The hosts reminisce about their journey in comedy, including early days with Rogan and the evolving comedy scene in L.A. They dive into the importance of slowing down, the pressures of touring, and the significance of parking spots in city life. With laughter and vulnerability, they reflect on balancing fame, family, and health issues, proving that humor remains key even in tough times.