SuperPsyched with Dr. Adam Dorsay

Trauma sucks. And, to varying degrees, we’ve all experienced it. Research shows that its effects can impact and disturb developmental phases of life. Studies of transgenerational trauma show that trauma can even have negative consequences for future generations of people who aren't even born yet. What is trauma? How does it impact our lives? What can we learn from its impact? And how can we heal trauma and perhaps become even stronger afterward? Fortunately, I know just the guy to ask! Dr. Frank Anderson (https://www.frankandersonmd.com/) is a Harvard educated physician who is known across the globe for his brilliant contributions to the study and treatment of trauma and PTSD. He is one of the most important teachers and contributors to the development of Internal Family Systems, a state-of-the-art treatment for trauma, eating disorders, and many other conditions. He is also the author of a book I loved called Transcending Trauma. I am not alone in my love for this book or Frank’s work. Luminaries like Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk said, “This is a wonderful book that should be read by anyone who wants to lay down the burdens of past trauma and those who seek to accompany them on this journey.” As you will hear, Frank is a total delight, full of levity, brilliance, and kindness.  He walks the talk and he has benefited personally from the same therapy he provides as have countless numbers of people. So, listen in as Frank and I have an info-packed, fun—yes, fun—and unfiltered conversation about Transcending Trauma. Transcending Trauma book link: https://amzn.to/43Clrf2 This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).

Sigmund Freud once said, “Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.” Whether or not you agree, love and work are certainly a big deal. On any given day, much of what crosses our minds falls under the headings of love and/or work. And that’s why I’m so excited to speak with my guest, Eric Barker (https://www.bakadesuyo.com/), who is a thought leader and an expert on the topics of love and work. Eric consumes vast quantities of research, interviews top thinkers in various fields, and writes beautifully about his findings. He has over 300,000 regular subscribers to his Barking Up the Wrong Tree newsletter largely dedicated to answering: what does it take to succeed in love and work? His second book drops this week, and it is called Plays Well with Others: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Relationships is (Mostly) Wrong.  Like all of Eric’s work, his new book is thought-provoking and well-researched. I’ve been a fan of Eric’s for years; I love his books and newsletter as do prominent thought leaders like Daniel Pink and David Epstein. Eric puts conventional wisdom to the test but employing science and answers questions like: Does love really conquer all? Can you judge a book by its cover? Is a friend in need truly a friend indeed? (And what does that actually mean?) So, listen in as Eric and I examine, what it takes to connect, be a good friend, to love well, and to play well with others. Book Link: https://amzn.to/3qLHXDC This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).

Last September, I read a brilliant piece in TIME Magazine by an inspired high school sophomore. The title was It’s Time For Boys To Talk About Emotional Health. I read it with my teenage sons, and it resonated deeply. It certainly makes sense that the article hit because, while children can take instruction and feedback from grownups, research suggests that there are instances when they listen more deeply to the voices of their peers. In over 100 episodes of SuperPsyched, all my guests have been adults. I decided it was time to change that when I invited the brilliant author of that article, 16-year-old Zach Gottlieb (https://talkwithzachofficial.com/), to join me. As you’ll hear, Zach took action to assist his peers with his phone: he created a flourishing Instagram community and a website—both called Talk With Zach. Through these efforts, Zach is actively helping teens engage other teens and talk about real things, taking the stigma out of mental health, and providing relief by sharing various useful resources to teenagers who feel overwhelmed. I seriously wish Zach and Talk With Zach was around when I was in high school! So, listen in, as Zach and I talk about what is happening today with teens and ways we can all help out. TIME article: https://time.com/6094333/boys-emotional-health/

Puzzles have a long history and are loved by millions of people worldwide. The New York Times crossword alone attracts 20 million people daily. And puzzles come in multiple forms: jigsaws, mazes, manipulable objects like Rubik’s Cubes, and even puzzles that require teams like escape rooms and scavenger hunts. Why do we love puzzles? Can they make us smarter? If so, how? Can they improve our mental or physical well-being? And might there even be a case for them making us better people? These and so many other questions will be answered by my most delightful guest, journalist, lecturer, and, my friend, New York Times best-selling author, AJ Jacobs (https://ajjacobs.com/)! AJ captured my attention nearly 20 years ago when I read his first major book, The Know-it-All, in which he put himself through one of his many self-imposed challenges.  That time he read the entire 33,000-page Encyclopedia Britannica in one year and wrote about his insights. Subsequently, as a human guinea pig, he has put himself through many experiments including one in which he lived according to the rules of the bible outlined in The Year of Living Biblically.  As a result of these experiments, he has become one of the most curious, open-minded, and creative thinkers I have ever met. What’s more, he has the gift being able to write intellectually stimulating and simultaneously hilarious material!  His latest book just dropped and is called The Puzzler: One Man's Quest to Solve the Most Baffling Puzzles Ever, from Crosswords to Jigsaws to the Meaning of Life. I absolutely loved it!  In it, AJ went deep into more than a dozen different types of puzzles learning their history, and writing about the challenges and insights he encountered. AJ has been consistently lauded by literary critics, thought leaders, comedians, and people from all walks of life. Gretchen Rubin, the author of The Happiness Project, described her experience reading the book in words that resonated with me, saying “Even though I’ve never attempted the New York Times crossword puzzle or solved the Rubik’s Cube, I couldn’t put down The Puzzler.” This is AJ's second visit to the SuperPsyched podcast, and I am over-the-moon delighted to host him and for you, my listener, to be the beneficiary of this extraordinary man’s heart and brain. So, listen in as AJ and I have a lively conversation about becoming smarter and, possibly, better people through puzzling. Get The Puzzler here: https://amzn.to/45YXy2S This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).

I'm going to guess that, like me, you have written out some resolutions or aspirations at some point. Perhaps it was New Year’s or a birthday and it related to exercise, diet, or some other area of importance to you.  And that, like me, you had fun writing those resolutions—especially imagining how incredible life looked in your mind’s eye as you imagined the benefits of those realities coming to life. And, I'm going to take another guess that like me, you have experienced disappointment or worse when, despite the great intentions of the resolutions, at least one of them failed to hold. What gets in the way of us claiming our best lives? And what can we do to increase the chances of making our lives consistent with our aspirations? Fortunately, I know just the person to ask!  Dr. Michelle Segar (https://michellesegar.com/) is an award-winning, NIH-funded researcher at the University of Michigan with almost thirty years studying how to create sustainable changes in healthy behaviors that can survive in the real world. Her research is widely recognized as relevant and pragmatic. She is also the author of two great books on psychology and performance, including her latest, The Joy Choice: How to Finally Achieve Lasting Changes in Eating and Exercise.  In a user-friendly and relatable way, she unpacks the stumbling blocks that most of us experience as we aim for better habits as well as the science on how we can make positive and sustainable changes in our lives. So, join Michelle and me as we talk about how to finally achieve the lasting changes we deeply desire. Book Link: https://amzn.to/42Boy5N This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).

A common theme that shows up on SuperPsyched relates to the importance of naming things. When we don’t have a name for a stressor, it tends to be even more distressing. You may have even heard me say that you need to “name it to tame it.” And that is why I am pleased that there is a working name for an anxiety that has perplexed many people living in the modern world in the face of climate change.  I’m talking about what is called “eco-anxiety.” Many of us feel overwhelmed by eco-anxiety and understandably ask, what can we do? Thankfully, I know just the person to ask!  Heather White is an attorney by training who has taught at Georgetown University Law Center but who now devotes her efforts to a non-profit organization she founded called One Green Thing (https://www.onegreenthing.org/).  She wrote a book, also called One Green Thing, with a foreword by Erin Brockovich that I thought was superb.  Heather suggests that each of us—like members of an orchestra playing our unique instruments—can do something to reduce climate change based upon our unique strengths and personality styles.  There’s even a questionnaire on her website that will help you identify your skills and personality relative to climate change, and what you can do to help.  Doing so may reduce anxiety and help the planet now and for future generations. And, as always, the content on SuperPsyched is for informational purposes only and not intended to diagnose or provide any kind of healthcare treatment. For that, please consult your doctor. So, listen in as Heather and I talk about eco-anxiety and one green thing each of us can do. Link to Heather's book One Green Thing: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0785291296/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_JPCCTK1Z7058YZY2HD5S?linkCode=ml2&tag=superpsyche0b-20 This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay). Greta Thunberg TEDx Talk: https://tinyurl.com/mr2n5c46

One way to ensure that we are living, and I mean truly living, during this lifetime, is to live an examined life. By that, I mean living consciously with the humility to examine what’s going on, how we’re living, the choices we’re making, and the unconscious drivers that may lead us down the wrong roads. A good method to deal with this, of course, is through psychotherapy. I am so grateful for my years that I have invested in examining my own life, and for the benefits I’ve received from this service I also provide. One of my favorite stories of engaging therapy comes from a highly esteemed colleague, Lori Gottlieb (https://lorigottlieb.com/). Lori is one of the most well-known therapists in the world today.  She has a thriving psychotherapy practice in Los Angeles, she’s the author of multiple books including one with over a million copies sold, her TED talk is magnificent and has millions of views, she writes a column in the Atlantic, and her podcast, Dear Therapists, with Guy Winch, is top-notch. And, like all of us, she is human. She has had her own existential crises during which she recognized she needed her own therapy, a process she details extensively in her brilliant book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. This is a book that has received spectacular praise and is packed with wisdom, goodness, and it is so unputdownable that I have listened to its audio version twice. It provides profound psychological truths and, in captivating story form, shows the internal struggles we all experience when we are thinking about starting our own psychotherapy. To add a layer of richness, Lori courageously describes her own process of being in psychotherapy and from the vantage point of a highly seasoned therapist. What gets in the way of us seeking our own therapy? What gets in the way of us asking for what we want? What are some of the pain points as we grow even as we attain some of the results we have been seeking? These and so many other questions are answered in this captivating interview. So, listen in as Lori and discuss that nagging feeling of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. Book Link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1328662055/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_VX9HB1AJP89MHM1ERNG9?linkCode=ml2&tag=superpsyche0b-20 This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).

From 1 to 10, how would you rate yourself as an influencer? Would you like to improve your strength in this area? And, imagine the people in your life who have been positive influencers. How do you hold them in your mind? What qualities do they have in common? Whether or not you think you are an influencer, you are. And whether or not you think you are influenced by others, you are as well. And, fortunately, when it comes to influence, we can all improve our skills at exerting it and noticing how we are influenced. One of the best people on the planet with whom to discuss this important topic is my new friend, Dr. Zoe Chance (https://www.zoechance.com/). Zoe is one of the most powerful and likable people I’ve ever met.  She is a researcher and a professor of the most popular course taught at Yale School of Management on the topic of influence. She is also the author of a book I absolutely loved and have recommended extensively called Influence is Your Superpower: The Science of Winning Hearts, Sparking Change, and Making Good Things Happen.  I am not alone in my love of Zoe’s work and scores of luminaries like Adam Grant and Daniel Pink have endorsed this brilliant book that I believe will make you smile as you get smarter.   Zoe’s work is not about influencing through manipulation or blindsiding people.  Rather, it is about helping people access their authentic truths and reaching their goals through kindness and collaboration. So, listen in, as Zoe and I have a lively talk about how to rock your superpower of influence. Link to her book: https://amzn.to/43Soq2P This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).

Parenting is a tough gig. We love and adore our children and, yet, there are so many aspects of their lives over which we don’t have control.  Our instinct is to want to protect them from the impacts of failures and their bad choices -- all while keeping them physically and mentally and healthy. We intellectually know that protecting our children too much isn’t good for them, either. So, how do we navigate these conflicting imperatives? Two of the best books I have recently enjoyed on parenting come from the brilliant woman interviewed in this episode. Jessica Lahey (https://www.jessicalahey.com/) is the author of The Addiction Inoculation and the Gift of Failure.  The New York Times Book Review, Publisher’s Weekly and many well-regarded thought leaders hold her work in the highest regard and for good reason: she has identified and provided user-friendly solutions for much of what challenges modern children and parents daily. So, listen in as Jess unpacks the parenting tips everyone needs! Addiction Inoculation: Gift of Failure: https://amzn.to/3X0CS6I This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).

Imagine that you've just come back from running your first half marathon. Imagine further that you’re not a natural runner and that the half marathon took you months of preparation.  You feel excited to share the news on social media when, lo-and-behold, you see a post of a friend that reads, “I just finished my 3rd Iron Man Triathlon.” You think, “Damn.  I ran 13.1 miles, and my friend swam a few miles, biked 100, and then ran 26.2… and for the third time.” Suddenly, you feel bad about something that had felt so good just minutes before.  You’ve engaged in social comparison, and that’s something all humans do. How can we enjoy who we are, what we do, and so much of what life has to offer when our brains go into social comparison and make us feel worse? Fortunately, I know just the guy to ask.  Dr. Ronald Siegel (https://drronsiegel.com/) is a professor at Harvard Medical School, a psychologist, and best-selling author who just wrote a must-read book called The Extraordinary Gift of Being Ordinary: Finding Happiness Right Where You Are.  Ron explains how our brains can both harm us or serve us and how to regain control over the default programming in very user-friendly ways.  The book has been widely loved by luminaries in the field of psychology and readers of all walks of life. So, listen in as Ron unpacks how to override the brain’s tendency toward social comparison. Ron's Book: https://amzn.to/3N1CT5D This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).