SuperPsyched with Dr. Adam Dorsay

Anyone familiar with my work knows I care a lot about friendship and relationships. As it turns out, one of the biggest predictors of our health is the quality of our relationships and our sense of community. Sadly, for many of us, our sense of community is on the low end these days. Historically, we tended to grow up in a community, years later, settle down in that community, and then had generations of our offspring in that same community. These days, many of us are living far away from where we grew up, and it’s not uncommon to have moved several times in between. All of that movement paired with the busyness of modern life can place a strain on relationships and community. Since community is so important to our happiness and overall health, how can we create it? Fortunately, I know just the guy to ask! Jon Levy (https://www.jonlevytlb.com/) is a behavioral scientist specializing in human connection, trust, and influence. He is the author of the New York Times Best Seller You’re Invited: The Art & Science of Connection, Trust and Belonging. It is a book I enjoyed so much, I listened to it twice. He’s also the founder of Influencers, the secret dining experience and private community of over 2,500 industry leaders including Nobel laureates, Olympians, celebrities, executives, royalty, and more. As you will hear, I loved geeking out with Jon about community, why it’s important, and how to create it. We also hit on various scientific studies that impact how we live, and life hacks to increase the likelihood of living better. So, listen in as Jon and I talk about creating communities to improve the quality and possibly the length of our lives. Book link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0063030977/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_5YMFWKZS2NJZQBAXPXW7?linkCode=ml2&tag=superpsyche0b-20 This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).

Baseball legend Yogi Berra had some of the all-time best quotes. Although he has been gone for nearly a decade, Yogi-isms are plentiful and are still thrown around for their hilarity and brilliance. One of his quotes relates perfectly to this episode: “You can observe a lot just by watching.” Bartenders tend to observe a broad range of human experiences. They see people living fast, loud, full of celebrations, fights, and all kinds of regrettable decisions. They also see a side of our human experience featuring heartache, people questioning life’s meaning, and experiencing many shades of depression. And that’s why I have wanted to interview a bartender to get a unique weigh-in on psychology. My opportunity presented itself when I was on a hiking trail in Colorado and bumped into Zeke. Zeke is a 19-year veteran bartender and his lighthearted, friendly, and philosophical vibe felt perfect for an episode that I’m confident you’ll love. So, listen in as Zeke and I have a lively talk about bartender wisdom.

If I asked you what leads to success, what would you say? I imagine most of us think about schooling, work experience, and the quality of our social networks. But there are other things that really matter here. Research reveals a huge predictor of success is empathy, and that is the subject of this episode. As you will hear, empathy has an abundance of positive outcomes that improve our work lives, personal lives, and our overall health. Yet, sadly, there is an ongoing empathy crisis today and research is showing that the skill of empathy is dwindling in the face of social media and the overwhelming abundance of information today. Thankfully, help is here! Dr. Michelle Borba (https://micheleborba.com/) has been described by CNN as “[The] go-to parent expert,” and by the Today Show as “The Mommy Whisperer.” She’s the author of several books including, UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World. I loved her book as have numerous luminaries, thought leaders, and book reviewers at the highest levels. I am so grateful that you will have the pleasure of learning about empathy with Michele as she outlines why empathy matters and how to cultivate this game changing skill. Book Link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1501110071/ref=cm_sw_r_as_gl_api_gl_i_H4NEBPETY29PRGZGGJVH?linkCode=ml2&tag=superpsyche0b-20 This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).

A large percentage of the population is under-employed but wants to be a part of the workforce. I’m talking about people who have disabilities of all kinds. Although in some parts of the world there are discrimination laws aimed at protecting them, many are overlooked even though they would be perfectly qualified to be a part of the workforce they are trying to enter. What can be done? I know just the guy to ask and you’ll get to hear from him shortly! Dr. Gil Winch (https://gilwinch.com/) is an organizational consultant and the founder of CY, an outsourcing services call center and for-profit business staffed and managed primarily by previously unemployed, severely disabled people and other marginalized populations. He’s also the author of a great new book called Winning with Underdogs, due in September. So, listen in as Gil and I talk about winning with underdogs by hiring people who might be overlooked, but shouldn’t be. Book Link: https://amzn.to/3J59x5q This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).

Summer is here and Season Two of SuperPsyched is a rap! I will be taking a brief break and, in all likelihood, return in late July or early August. To cap season two, I thought I would give a tip of the hat to one of the greatest TV shows in recent history: This Is Us. As a psychologist, I was taken by the show because so much of a human experience was captured in just six seasons. Please note: if you haven't seen the show, there are no spoilers here. All you will hear is a psychological analysis of this superb show as well as why you should consider watching it! Later this summer, I will be excited to begin Season Three and I promise some great episodes coming your way!

A few months ago, my family and I plus about 20,000 other people went to see a live comedy event. What made it so unusual was that none of the 20,000 of us had our smart devices available. Instead, those devices were locked away in magnetic pouches required by the venue. The result? We, and everyone we talked to, agreed that the tech-free show was a superior experience. Simply put, we connected better with the comedian—who we had paid to see—and felt less distracted by cameras and the lights of the smart devices we had not paid to see. On the drive home I decided to get in touch with the CEO of the company to have a conversation about the psychology behind the product. That CEO, who is named Graham Dugoni, was happy to meet and gave a great interview as you’ll hear. His company called Yondr (https://www.overyondr.com/) has been gaining popularity at live events with both the attendees and artists. It’s even being used successfully at schools to the benefit of teachers and students. Yondr’s motto, “Be here now,” is on-point and may even be a tip of the hat to the brilliant thinking of Ram Dass. Graham is very philosophical and thoughtful and we talk about how he came up with the idea for Yondr as well as the costs that unwanted technology has had on our attention spans. So, listen in as Graham and I have a lively conversation about our attention and how to temporarily shut down unwanted technology.

The human brain is the most complex structure known in the entire universe. Yet, despite its incredible power, its capacity declines with the passage of time. What can we do to keep our brains in tip-top shape as we age? Fortunately, there’s a lot we can do! And a lot of it is quite simple, as you will hear in this interview with a true expert, Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne.  Susan is a professor of psychology at University of Massachusetts, Boston. She is one of the pioneers in the study of adult aging and the author of multiple psychology textbooks used in colleges and graduate schools around the globe.  Susan shares methods for keeping our brains in shape using various approaches, including our diet, exercise, games, and even how to orient our thoughts. So, join Susan and me as we talk about user-friendly ways to keep your brain healthy and strong.

Research indicates that the biggest predictor of happiness—at least for most of us—is the quality of our relationships. And yet, so much of how we’re wired can get in the way of good relationships. Things like pride and stubbornness. When we lean on those, we may erroneously conclude that we should be harsh and teach our partner a lesson. Spoiler alert: you'll hear from the expert on this episode that harshness is never a good idea even though it may feel right or even vindicating. So, since these skills are not taught in schools, how do we go beyond our knee-jerk responses and thrive as a couple? Fortunately, I know just the guy to ask! Terry Real (https://terryreal.com/) is an internationally known psychotherapist and a best-selling author who has written some of the most important books contributing to the field of individual and couples psychotherapy. His latest book is called Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship. Consistent with his incredible work, Terry brilliantly cuts to the core of how our brains work and shows how we can better use those brains in our relationships. Lori Gottlieb, Esther Perel, and even Bruce Springsteen (who wrote the foreword) love this book and I believe you will too.  And I’m confident you’ll be captivated listening to Terry who is a superior storyteller and the embodiment of kindness, wisdom, and strength. So, listen in as Terry and I talk about how to get past the stumbling blocks and how to find our way back to US. Book Link: https://amzn.to/3N2RjCD This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).

Have you ever had such a great conversation that you simply had to have more time? Silly question, I know! We've all had that. One of mine recently was with my guest Lori Gottlieb during her superb interview for episode 104 about 8 weeks ago. After we spoke, I said, “There’s so much more I’d like to ask you!” Fortunately, she was game, so later that same afternoon, we recorded this episode! As you’ll hear, she shares about how she and her colleague, Guy Winch, created their stellar podcast, Dear Therapists, as well as more about her well-cultivated thoughts on therapy. And, a brief refresher on Lori: she has a thriving psychotherapy practice in Los Angeles. She’s authored multiple books including, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, which has sold over one million copies. In addition, her TED talk is magnificent and has millions of views. And she has a TV show in the works! I can’t say enough about Lori, and I hope you’ll listen to both episodes. You’ll see why she has been such an international sensation. So, listen in on a bit more from a psychotherapy thought leader, Lori Gottlieb, on this PS edition! Book Link: https://amzn.to/3P2OJiG This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).

Heartbreak is a painful part of life. When we’re in it, it can be all-consuming, exhausting, and overwhelming. And to be sure, the skill to attend to it is not typically taught in school. But what is heartbreak and how does it affect us? Why does the heart actually hurt when we’re in it? And what can be done to fix a heart that’s broken? Fortunately, I know just the guy to ask, and his name happens to be Guy! Dr. Guy Winch (https://www.guywinch.com/) is an internationally renowned psychologist, the author of multiple superb TED talks, and the co-host of a podcast called Dear Therapists with his brilliant colleague and fellow SuperPsyched guest, Lori Gottlieb. He’s also the bestselling author of several books, including How to Fix a Broken Heart. I loved this book as have thought leaders like Esther Perel, who said the book was, "Well researched and deeply practical. How to Fix a Broken Heart provides the validation, comfort, and hope anyone who is heartbroken desperately needs." So, listen in as Guy and I talk about How to Fix a Broken Heart. Book link: https://amzn.to/3X5rA19 This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay).