Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

We're continuing our conversations on ADHD and family relationships on The ADHD Podcast with a discussion on teens. "But wait," you might be thinking, "I'm no teen... what do I need with this episode?" Just hang with us a bit.We're talking to the authors of Mindfulness and Self-Compassion for Teen ADHD, Drs. Karen Bluth and Mark Bertin, a book not written about teens and ADHD, but too them. It's one of the rare experiences that asks teens directly and personally to think about their ADHD, their relationship with others and their experience at school and work.A Teen ADHD Book for AllWe've read the book and agree: it's an approachable read, not lingering in the complexities of neuro-diversity, but not shying away from the way the brain works. The main focus, however, is around building a healthy social life, independence, good grades, all in a voice that lets the reader know they're not alone when they get frustrated or feel isolated along the way.The authors join us on the show to talk about the tools that help on the way, mindfulness and self-compassion. And this is where we come back around to you all, likely adults, likely not expecting to be introduced so favorably to a book on ADHD and teens. Well, as we hope you'll hear today, our guests are presenting a mindfulness and self-compassion practice as a tool for all of us, as "the engine for change" in our lives. We live with ADHD, we're parents of ADHD kids, our ADHD lives contain multitudes. Giving ourselves a compassionate pat on the back can go far in helping us approach the world with confidence and kindness to others.About Karen Bluth, Ph.D.Karen Bluth is on faculty in the department of psychiatry and a research fellow at Frank Porter Graham Child Development Institute at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, where she is founder of the Frank Porter Graham Program on Mindfulness and Self-Compassion for Families (https://selfcompassion.web.unc.edu). She is a certified instructor of Mindful Self-Compassion, an internationally acclaimed eight-week course created by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer; and is a codeveloper of Self-Compassion for Educators, a self-compassion program offered through Mindful Schools.Bluth is also cocreator of the curriculum Making Friends with Yourself: A Mindful Self-Compassion Program for Teens, the teen adaptation of Mindful Self-Compassion; and Embracing Your Life, the young adult adaptation. She is also author of The Self-Compassion Workbook for Teens and The Self-Compassionate Teen. As a mindfulness practitioner for more than forty years, a mindfulness teacher, and an educator with eighteen years of classroom teaching experience, Bluth frequently gives talks, conducts workshops, and teaches classes in self-compassion and mindfulness in educational and community settings. In addition, she trains teachers in Making Friends with Yourself internationally.About Mark Bertin, MDMark Bertin is a developmental pediatrician in private practice in Pleasantville, NY. He is author of How Children Thriveand Mindful Parenting for ADHD, which integrate mindfulness into the rest of evidence-based pediatric care; and a contributing author for Teaching Mindfulness Skills to Kids and Teens. He is on faculty at New York Medical College and The Windward Institute, on advisory boards for Common Sense Media and Reach Out and Read, and on the board of directors for APSARD (the American Professional Society of ADHD and Related Disorders). His blog covering topics in child development, mindfulness, and family is available through PsychologyToday.com, Mindful.org, and elsewhere. For information about his online mindfulness classes and other resources, visit https://developmentaldoctor.com. (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (05:15) - Support The ADHD Podcast • Become A Patron at patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (08:58) - Introducing Mark Bertin and Karen Bluth (16:52) - Starting a conversation about self-compassion (21:27) - Parental modeling of negative behavior (22:29) - Meditation and Mindfulness (26:44) - You are not your ADHD (28:58) - How do you expect teens to engage in the material? (32:21) - Teen emotions and ADHD 🎓 College Coaching for ADHD Students is Now Enrolling!Starting college with ADHD? Don’t go it alone. At Take Control ADHD, we offer two personalized coaching options to help students thrive both academically and emotionally. The Roadmap Planning Package includes two pre-semester strategy sessions to build custom calendars, break down big assignments, and create ADHD-friendly systems for success. For ongoing support, our Weekly Coaching Package offers one-on-one accountability throughout the semester to stay focused, flexible, and in control.Learn more and find the right fit at https://takecontroladhd.com/college. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We started our conversation with Dr. Norrine Russell with a plan in mind. We wanted to talk with her about the systems and processes she uses with her clients at Russell Coaching to support frustrated kids and families living with ADHD. She told us she'd be fine with that, but then said, "can I tell you what's on my mind?"What was on her mind is something on our minds, too. In our search for process perfection, we risk putting up walls for communication those we're trying to support. We're great at systems, too, but time and project management comes with a cost: we risk losing compassion and empathy, hardening ourselves to the things that give us the joy and support to move on. Thinking Fast and SlowIt's easy, living with ADHD, to imagine that thinking fast is the solution to distraction. If you think fast, after all, you might just finish a project before you're distracted by something else. Thinking slowly, on the other hand, gives your mind and body the time and space required to integrate new views, concepts, and experiences. The act of thinking about thinking is metacognition, and Dr. Russell gives us a series of terrific examples this week as we think through our experience overcoming stress and anxiety in the process of living with ADHD. And while we're at it, check out this story on CBS Sunday Morning, 'Helping Students Cope with the Pressure to Succeed' on our highest achievers and their ability to manufacture stress and anxiety to a damaging point.About Dr. Norrine RussellDr. Norrine Russell began Russell Coaching in 2009. Her passion for providing support to frustrated students and weary parents is fueled by her own experience of raising two complex children who are both neurologically atypical (her children’s diagnoses include autism, mood disorders, ADHD, giftedness, and learning differences). Dr. Russell knows firsthand the exhaustion parents face as they day in and day out seek solutions for their out-of-the-box children. She is committed to supporting the psychological well-being, education, and family life of all her clients.Dr. Russell has a Ph.D. from Bowling Green State University with a focus on psychology and education. She consults with and trains at both public and private schools across the Tampa Bay area. She has taught psychology and education courses at Sweet Briar College, University of Minnesota-Morris, and a number of other colleges. (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (09:49) - Welcome Dr. Norrine Russell (18:10) - Empathy and Compassion (28:33) - Thinking Fast and Slow (34:05) - Metacognition (47:00) - Manufacturing anxiety and stress 🎓 College Coaching for ADHD Students is Now Enrolling!Starting college with ADHD? Don’t go it alone. At Take Control ADHD, we offer two personalized coaching options to help students thrive both academically and emotionally. The Roadmap Planning Package includes two pre-semester strategy sessions to build custom calendars, break down big assignments, and create ADHD-friendly systems for success. For ongoing support, our Weekly Coaching Package offers one-on-one accountability throughout the semester to stay focused, flexible, and in control.Learn more and find the right fit at https://takecontroladhd.com/college. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Today on the show we're talking to the kids. Ok, not all the kids. We're starting with our kids, because they're ours, they live with ADHD, and they're pretty astute humans.There are some things they want the rest of us to know about their experience with ADHD that might just surprise you. What the Kids can Teach about ADHDThere are a few things that surprised us as we embarked on this journey to interview our kids about their experience with ADHD. First, they're usually ahead of us in their thinking. They've already done their own research, they understand modeling behavior and have started to pick up tips and tricks by simply observing other kids who have their skills on lock, and they aren't afraid to try new things. Like most of us, they don't appreciate being criticized, and they don't always understand the scrutiny. Most important, they can see when they're falling behind and they — again, like the rest of us — are frustrated. We talk about the study skills and habits that the kids most appreciate, and the support systems they prefer when trying to be productive at home. We share their enthusiasm for the systems and opportunities set up by their teachers and support staff at school, and how their social groups see their ADHD. Finally, we have a few words on medication to report. The bottom line, from the kids: "I wish people would be more understanding about my movement," and "Be gentle. I know how my brain works. I don't need you to tell me anymore. Just give me a little time to catch up."We did a little research after this exploration with the kids and found a stunning parallel of reports from others around ADHD communities. There seems to be no time better than right in the middle of our family series to sit back and listen. Links & NotesThriving with ADHD Workbook for Teens: Improve Focus, Get Organized, and Succeed (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (03:14) - Support the Show • Become a Patron! (05:09) - What the Kids Want You to Know 🎓 College Coaching for ADHD Students is Now Enrolling!Starting college with ADHD? Don’t go it alone. At Take Control ADHD, we offer two personalized coaching options to help students thrive both academically and emotionally. The Roadmap Planning Package includes two pre-semester strategy sessions to build custom calendars, break down big assignments, and create ADHD-friendly systems for success. For ongoing support, our Weekly Coaching Package offers one-on-one accountability throughout the semester to stay focused, flexible, and in control.Learn more and find the right fit at https://takecontroladhd.com/college. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Listeners share their strategies for managing ADHD in the family, including the use of alarms, planning routines, and meal planning. The hosts discuss the upcoming content and promote their website and Patreon page. They also provide tips for using alarms effectively, using launch pads for organization, maintaining a tidy home, and strategies for meal planning and grocery shopping.

As we kick off our twenty-third season of Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, we're looking at families. These are some of the closest relationships we have in our lives — we live with them, eat with them, play with them, sleep with them — but how does ADHD contribute to our family relationships? This week, Dr. Michelle Frank returns to introduce us to The Gottman Method. According to the website of the originators of the method, John and Julie Gottman, here's what we know about The Gottman Method: The Gottman Method is an approach to couples therapy that includes a thorough assessment of the couple’s relationship and integrates research-based interventions based on the Sound Relationship House Theory. The goals of Gottman Method Couples Therapy are to disarm conflicting verbal communication; increase intimacy, respect, and affection; remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy; and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship.When we spoke to Dr. Frank about couples and ADHD, she was ready to jump right in — she's a respected specialist in using Gottman Method Couples' Therapy and sees it as one path that happens to be uniquely suited to improving communication between partners who have some mix of ADHD between them. Building our Sound HouseDr. Frank introduces us to The Sound House theory and we meet the Four Horsemen (Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling). In this context, we look at what allows ADHD to throw our relationships out of balance and how to find realignment along the way. About Dr. Michelle FrankDr. Frank is a clinical psychologist specializing in providing diagnostic and treatment services to individuals with ADHD. Her work with clients is all about finding strengths-based approaches to learning how to live with ADHD. She works with college students, adults, and families and the book she co-authored with Sari Solden — A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD: Embrace Neurodiversity, Live Boldly, and Break Through Barriers — was released last summer. Learn more about Dr. Frank. (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (03:27) - Support the Show! • Patreon.com/theahdhpodcast (09:55) - What is the Gottman Method? (18:34) - The Sound Relationship House Theory (25:06) - The Four Horsemen (34:11) - ADHD is Out of Balance (43:56) - Balancing Planning in the Mixed ADHD Relationship (53:56) - Finding a Therapist the Works with ADHD 🎓 College Coaching for ADHD Students is Now Enrolling!Starting college with ADHD? Don’t go it alone. At Take Control ADHD, we offer two personalized coaching options to help students thrive both academically and emotionally. The Roadmap Planning Package includes two pre-semester strategy sessions to build custom calendars, break down big assignments, and create ADHD-friendly systems for success. For ongoing support, our Weekly Coaching Package offers one-on-one accountability throughout the semester to stay focused, flexible, and in control.Learn more and find the right fit at https://takecontroladhd.com/college. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

It’s the end of the road ... for this season. And to celebrate we’re taking a walk down memory lane for the shows that made the most impact on us, the guests that gave of their time to our community, and of course: Shocktato.Links & NotesThe Original Livestream Shocktato Incident. Let me just say this about that: I think my Shocktato is somehow damaged. There is no way a toy like this should be overclocked like it is. It made my back sweat… and back sweat is never child’s play. (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (03:04) - Support the Show • Become a Patron! (04:59) - A Bit on Seasons (08:13) - The Review! 🎓 College Coaching for ADHD Students is Now Enrolling!Starting college with ADHD? Don’t go it alone. At Take Control ADHD, we offer two personalized coaching options to help students thrive both academically and emotionally. The Roadmap Planning Package includes two pre-semester strategy sessions to build custom calendars, break down big assignments, and create ADHD-friendly systems for success. For ongoing support, our Weekly Coaching Package offers one-on-one accountability throughout the semester to stay focused, flexible, and in control.Learn more and find the right fit at https://takecontroladhd.com/college. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Friendships are already a challenge with ADHD. What happens when you're also living with social anxiety and rejection sensitivity? We pull apart a few important lessons on the show this week, not the least of which is the following: in all likelihood, people like you more than you think they do. Is that hard to hear? Then you need to listen to this week's show. Nikki brings an exercise and resource to help you breakdown the RSD we live with, and how to deal with the disappointment that comes when we make ourselves vulnerable to close friendships. Pete helps to catalog those friendships thanks to the work of a new book by Robin Dunbar. Check out the infographic here and listen in for more.Links & Notes5 Ways to Deal with Disappointment — Dr. Radha ModgilFriends: Understanding the Power of Our Most Important Relationships — by Robin Dunbar (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (04:19) - Support the Show • Become a Patron! (06:31) - The Dunbar Friendship Circle (11:16) - More is not always better (15:17) - The Social Anxiety Disorder Flag (21:23) - Learning about Friendships & Kids (27:29) - Dealing with Rejection (34:11) - A digression on Fun 🎓 College Coaching for ADHD Students is Now Enrolling!Starting college with ADHD? Don’t go it alone. At Take Control ADHD, we offer two personalized coaching options to help students thrive both academically and emotionally. The Roadmap Planning Package includes two pre-semester strategy sessions to build custom calendars, break down big assignments, and create ADHD-friendly systems for success. For ongoing support, our Weekly Coaching Package offers one-on-one accountability throughout the semester to stay focused, flexible, and in control.Learn more and find the right fit at https://takecontroladhd.com/college. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Is it common to struggle to develop friendships with ADHD? Let's just say, if you're struggling yourself, you're in good company. Struggles to manage time for friendships, develop close, meaningful ties, are made all the more difficult thanks to the bouquet of ADHD factors. This week on the show we’re thrilled to welcome back the fantastic Melissa Orlov. She’s a leading expert in how ADHD affects relationships. On top of that, she’s an award-winning author of books including The ADHD Effect on Marriage, and The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD. She’s founder of ADHD & Marriage where she writes regularly alongside a cast of incredible contributors and hosts a large community of adults learning about ADHD in their relationships.Links & NotesADHD & MarriageMelissa Orlov on Amazon (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (01:59) - Support the Show • Become a Patron (03:35) - Friendship and ADHD with Melissa Orlov (07:01) - Do you tell your friends about your ADHD? (12:39) - The Value of Friendships (15:51) - ADHD and Memory (20:58) - Dating (24:47) - Stories we tell ourselves (32:06) - Community Questions 🎓 College Coaching for ADHD Students is Now Enrolling!Starting college with ADHD? Don’t go it alone. At Take Control ADHD, we offer two personalized coaching options to help students thrive both academically and emotionally. The Roadmap Planning Package includes two pre-semester strategy sessions to build custom calendars, break down big assignments, and create ADHD-friendly systems for success. For ongoing support, our Weekly Coaching Package offers one-on-one accountability throughout the semester to stay focused, flexible, and in control.Learn more and find the right fit at https://takecontroladhd.com/college. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

We met Sonal Singh as she was managing the virtual green room and serving as host for our session at last year’s CHADD International Conference on ADHD. Our paths had never crossed, but as we started chatting we realized just how fascinating her path had been.She is India’s first certified ADHD coach. We think this is fascinating. What would you do if you were in her shoes, and you had the opportunity to teach all those in your sphere about neurodivergence and executive function and the entire spectrum of ADHD?Of course, Sonal is doing much of her work with an International audience from her home in Delhi and we certainly don’t want to set her up as an ADHD savior for an entire country! But, we think hearing of her experience in this place and time can give us an interesting insight into the development of ADHD awareness as a culture, and that’s worth discussing on the show next week.Links & NotesSonalSinghCoaching.comExceptional Minds on FacebookADHD Life Coaching on Instagram (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (04:07) - Introducing Sonal Singh (08:19) - ADHD Infrastructure and Support (14:54) - Navigating the Journey of ADHD Awareness (19:30) - Getting Therapeutic Support (22:18) - Training to Talk the Talk (23:29) - How do we measure changing perceptions? (27:27) - How does culture impact coaching? (34:06) - Demand to become coaches? 🎓 College Coaching for ADHD Students is Now Enrolling!Starting college with ADHD? Don’t go it alone. At Take Control ADHD, we offer two personalized coaching options to help students thrive both academically and emotionally. The Roadmap Planning Package includes two pre-semester strategy sessions to build custom calendars, break down big assignments, and create ADHD-friendly systems for success. For ongoing support, our Weekly Coaching Package offers one-on-one accountability throughout the semester to stay focused, flexible, and in control.Learn more and find the right fit at https://takecontroladhd.com/college. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Did you know focus requires focus? Yes, it sounds a touch nonsensical, but when you're living with ADHD, the act of focusing has a tendency to become unhinged. And unhinged focus can damage what you're otherwise out to find: productivity.This week on the show we're talking all about focus, the state of mind appropriate for best focus, and how you can take care of your mind and body so that when you need to find focus, it's there. Links & NotesSerene: The macOS App for Laser-FocusFreedom: Block Websites, Apps, and the Internet (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (03:30) - Support the Show • Become a Patron! (07:23) - Focus on Focus 🎓 College Coaching for ADHD Students is Now Enrolling!Starting college with ADHD? Don’t go it alone. At Take Control ADHD, we offer two personalized coaching options to help students thrive both academically and emotionally. The Roadmap Planning Package includes two pre-semester strategy sessions to build custom calendars, break down big assignments, and create ADHD-friendly systems for success. For ongoing support, our Weekly Coaching Package offers one-on-one accountability throughout the semester to stay focused, flexible, and in control.Learn more and find the right fit at https://takecontroladhd.com/college. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★