In this episode, Mark hands the mic to Ashley Stahl, a former counterterrorism professional turned career coach. In this feed drop from Ashley’s You Turn podcast, Ashley interviews Chris Voss, the lead international kidnapping investigator for the FBI, author of Never Split the Difference, and CEO of the Black Swan Group. Today, Mark hands the mic to Ashley Stahl, a former counterterrorism professional turned career coach. In this feed drop from Ashley’s You Turn podcast, Ashley interviews Chris Voss, the lead international kidnapping investigator for the FBI, author of Never Split the Difference, and CEO of the Black Swan Group. In this masterclass on negotiation, Chris and Ashley cover salary negotiation tactics, how to use empathy to get what you want, negotiation psychology, and so much more. Key Takeaways: Never go first. Chris says the secret to gaining the upper hand in negotiations is giving the other side the illusion of control. That’s why the smartest and best negotiators let the other side go first. He who speaks first loses, since you're giving the other side a lot of information right off the bat, and you’re not learning anything you can use in your favor. If you’re asked a question first, respond, but don’t answer the question right away. Pivot as much as possible back to the other person and make them divulge first. There are no bad teams, only bad leaders. Chris says that if his people are responding to him poorly, then he’s failing as a leader, and he needs to make some changes. The more work-focused a leader gets, the more the work product suffers. If a leader isn’t happy with the job somebody's doing, they’re likely treating that person as a commodity and not as a human being. Make sure you’re spending enough time nurturing and encouraging your people and finding out who they are. Empathy means understanding, not caring. Empathy has become a synonym for caring about the other side. But Chris says empathy is really about completely understanding where the other side is coming from. If you need to like, agree with, or sympathize with someone to exercise empathy, then what happens if you don’t like them? What happens if you don't agree with them? You can't exercise empathy if those are necessary requirements. But if you don't need any of those things, you can exercise empathy with any human being on the planet. Seek first to understand, then be understood. In any negotiation, this is the fastest sequence to get your way. You don’t have to agree that the other person’s perspective is true, fair, or even reasonable. All you have to do is reflect their perspective back to them, so that they feel like you understand them. Focus on fixing losses vs. accomplishing gains. The reasons why we won't do something are more important in our decision-making than the reasons we will...

Mark speaks with Jessica Buchanan, a humanitarian worker and activist who was kidnapped and held hostage for 93 days in Somalia. Today, Jessica works to help women foster their authentic self-expression through the development of their own manifestos. Key Takeaways: Finding strength in the unthinkable. As a teacher from Ohio, Jessica never thought such an extraordinary event could ever happen to her. But her experience taught her that not only was she not immune to having bad things happen to her, but she also learned she’s a whole lot tougher than she ever gave herself credit for. She says that she can now look back on her story as a reminder of her inner strength in moments of imposter syndrome. Trust your gut. The night before her kidnapping, Jessica’s intuition was screaming at her not to travel to southern Somalia as she was instructed to do for work. In fact, she tried to cancel the work engagement twice, but was pressured by her colleague to go. The whole night before her kidnapping, she had nightmares that she was being kidnapped by pirates. She says her decision to go anyway was the biggest self-abandonment moment of her life. She has since vowed to always go with her gut, no matter what. Finding humor in a hopeless place. Jessica says she relied on her “warped sense of humor” to keep her hopeful and strong over the course of her 93-day kidnapping. At one point, when her captors locked the keys inside all 3 getaway vehicles, she turned to her co-hostage and said, “It's official, we’ve been kidnapped by the world's dumbest pirates.” Humor is a hope-builder. Surviving survival is not a linear process. Jessica says that surviving her survival has been two steps forward and 10 steps back. Whether you’ve experienced large or small traumas, you just don't know what's going to trigger you from day to day, so be gentle with yourself. When life gives you lemons... Jessica made use of her 93 days in captivity examining every memory she could remember from her life. During this healing process, she reflected, analyzed, and deeply forgave others and herself. (This is actually very similar to an ancient practice called “recapitulation” from...

Mark speaks with Jane McGonigal, game designer and author of the new book, Imaginable: How to See the Future Coming and Feel Ready for Anything, Even Things that Seem Impossible Today. After she created a game to help herself recover from a debilitating concussion in 2009, Jane was inspired to build a more positive and collaborative world through the use of modern technology. Jane believes that games can generate a higher collective intelligence that can be put toward a better quality of human life. Key Takeaways: Translate gaming into real life. To maximize the positive skills learned from gaming, the critical questions to ask yourself (or your kids) is this: “What have you gotten better at since you started playing this game?” If the gamer can answer this question, they’ll have a much better chance that the game will produce a positive impact on their identity in the real world (vs. a pathological gaming addiction or means of escapism). Don’t spend all your time playing one game. Jane suggests exposing yourself to new games so you’re always growing. In fact, in aging seniors, there's less risk of cognitive decline and fewer symptoms of dementia for people who expose themselves to games that they've never played before. Gamers adapt better to change. fMRI studies show that gamers are able to process, make sense of, and respond effectively to multiple streams of information much faster. Their brains are already coming up with new strategies before they have conscious recognition that something has changed, which is a crucial skill to develop for the fast-paced VUCA world. Playing games can help people prepare for the future. Back in 2010, Jane ran a future simulation game asking people to imagine their response to a pandemic set 10 years in the future. When she followed up with the simulation participants after the 2020 pandemic, they reported feeling...

Mark speaks with Daniel Amen, a double board-certified psychiatrist and twelve-time New York Times best-selling author. The founder of Amen Clinics, Dr. Amen’s goal is to “end mental illness by creating a revolution in brain health.” Dr. Amen has helped millions of people improve their brain health and their lives. Today, Commander Divine speaks with Daniel Amen, a double board-certified psychiatrist and twelve-time New York Times best-selling author. The founder of Amen Clinics, Dr. Amen’s goal is to “end mental illness by creating a revolution in brain health.” In this episode, Dr. Amen discusses the link between brain type and personality, the ideal supplementation for brain health, how obesity affects your brain, and more. Key Takeaways: Obesity is literally dumbing us down. Studies have shown that as your weight increases, the actual physical size and function of your brain goes down. Being overweight decreases blood flow, ages your brain, increases inflammation, stores toxins, and changes your hormones. And with 72% of Americans overweight and 42% of them obese, it's the biggest source of brain drain we’re currently facing. Brain scans allow us to diagnose more accurately. Most psychiatrists will talk to you, look for symptom clusters, and then diagnose and treat you - but this process could be much more effective with biological data. Dr. Amen believes that psychiatrists don’t have to fly blind, and that new technology like SPECT brain scans can help us diagnose and treat mental conditions more effectively. The 3 pillars of brain health. Dr. Amen says that boosting your brain health comes down to three specific strategies: 1) brain envy – you must passionately care about your brain and pay attention to it, 2) avoid anything that hurts your brain, and 3) regularly engage in habits that boost your brain’s health. The lowest-hanging fruit for brain health. Dr. Amen says that if he could get all his patients to eat better, 30% of them would be better in a month. In terms of brain health interventions, nutrition definitely comes first. The best happiness supplement. Dr. Amen’s favorite happiness supplement is saffron. He makes a product called Happy Saffron, which includes saffron, zinc and curcumin – and 24 randomized controlled trials showed it to be equally effective to antidepressants to boost mood, with virtually no side effects. What NOT to do for brain health. Dr. Amen says to avoid processed foods,...

Mark sits down with Melanie Sliwka, Certified Unbeatable Mind Coach. For the past 12 years, Melanie has trained and worked with Navy SEALs, thought leaders, and top-performing executives. Join Mark and Melanie for a candid conversation about mental health, suicide, the unique mental health challenges of veterans, and how we can take our well-being into our own hands. Today, Commander Divine sits down with Melanie Sliwka, Certified Unbeatable Mind Coach, to discuss one of the most pressing issues of our time: mental health. This important episode covers a lot of ground, from the state of veterans’ mental health to the best techniques to take our well-being into our own hands. Key Takeaways: Always remember to PBTA. Due to childhood trauma and other traumatic life events, most of us are operating in a constant hyper aroused state. (And for veterans, combat stress can exacerbate underlying trauma that already existed.) The acronym Pause, Breathe, Think and Act can be a literal life-saver to bring the body out of “fight or flight” and back into “rest and digest” mode. Who’s your swim buddy? If you’re having trouble managing your own internal dialogue and thinking processes, it’s important to reach out to a positive person you can trust. Think about it right now: who is your go-to swim buddy when shit gets really bad? And how can you be someone else’s swim buddy? Pharmaceutical drugs are a short-term solution. The rate of suicide among those who are taking SSRIs vs interventions through other nonpharmaceutical means is 2:1. While antidepressants can be great for short-term mental health interventions, it’s important to include nonpharmaceutical interventions for long-term well-being. Get re-balanced with the basics. The big four practices for physiological rebalancing are: breath training, proper nutrition, exercise, and sleep. For 20 minutes every morning, try box breathing: inhale for five counts, hold your breath for five counts, exhale for five counts, and hold your exhaled breath for five counts. This is a completely free anti-stress medicine that you can do anytime, anywhere. Balancing the physiological system then leads to psychological space, which enables you to make better decisions across all areas of your life. The 3 best healing modalities for vets. Mark recommends electrostimulation (especially for TBI), EMDR therapy, and psychedelics. Electrostimulation works at the brain level, EMDR therapy works in the heart, and psychedelic assisted therapy works at the heart and the psycho-spiritual level. There’s no one thing that works for every person. Everyone should try multiple things on their healing journey. The most important thing is for healing to be multi-dimensional.

Today, Commander Divine speaks with Perianne Boring, founder and president of the Chamber of Digital Commerce, the world's largest trade association representing the blockchain industry. Perianne’s mission is to advocate and educate the public and lawmakers about the future of blockchain. In this episode, Perianne busts some of the biggest myths about the cryptocurrency space, including Russian sanctions, environmental impact, and more.  Key Takeaways: Myth #1: Bitcoin is bad for the environment. It currently takes 189 terawatts to mine Bitcoin.This is about .1% of the world's energy production. And, over 60% of the energy going to mine Bitcoin is coming from sustainable sources. (We’re also starting to see use cases where crypto mining can actually help stabilize the energy grid.) The energy used to mine Bitcoin is a small fraction of the emissions that are created to mine gold, power our financial sector and support our military sector. Myth #2: Russia is using crypto to evade sanctions. There's a current narrative that says Russians are flocking to crypto to evade sanctions. But there is no evidence of that, and there is nothing that would lead us to believe that that would ever be the case in the future. Since Russia entered Crimea in 2014, they've been working to sanction-proof their economy and diversify out of US dollar reserves.  Crypto was not a part of their like sanction-proofing strategy at all. Even if they wanted to start using crypto for illicit finance, law enforcement has significant tools to track and trace the flow of cryptocurrencies, due to the open-source nature of blockchains. Even the Treasury's Financial Crimes Enforcement Network put out a statement saying that we are not seeing crypto used for sanctions evasion.  Myth #3: Crypto is used for money laundering. .05% of crypto transaction volume has been linked to illicit activity. The open-source data shows us that illicit finance using crypto is not common. And it's also decreasing as a percentage and a portion of the markets. Myth #4: Crypto is going to be shut down by the government. Perianne believes we’ve already won the regulatory battles. It’s already been decided that we're going to allow this technology to thrive in the United States. There are absolutely no efforts, indications, or even a legal path forward to flat out ban cryptocurrency. The conversations that are happening on the regulatory front are negotiations between the industry and the regulators on what regulatory frameworks look like. There certainly will be winners and losers in those conversations, but those are winners and losers between different companies and platforms in the space, not the technology itself. The case for this technology has been made, and we're seeing that play out on the global stage right now.  Myth #5: It’s too late to invest in Bitcoin. It’s not too late to get in if you want to. We are still in incredibly early days, and there's a lot of opportunity. (This is not investment advice. Just Perianne’s own opinion!) We are living in a currency experiment. For most of human history, we’ve used objects of scarcity as money – salt, stones, shells. After that, we used a gold standard for thousands of years. It wasn't until the 1980s that all industrialized nations moved to a fiat system. This is the first time in world economic history that all industrialized nations are using a currency that is only backed by the full faith and credit of the government.  Our current economic inflation and collapse is the aftermath of this shift. Perianne believes we're coming back to our original principles of having a sound monetary system, and that Bitcoin could potentially be the path to get there. Bitcoin is the new gold. Bitcoin is a store of value, which means it’s playing the role gold has played in portfolios for many decades. The Fed Chairman himself, Jerome Powell,...

Today, Commander Divine speaks with Beena Sharma, international consultant and president of the Vertical Development Academy. Beena has worked for more than two decades in the area of whole-system, large-scale change. In this episode, Beena discusses polarity thinking, how language affects our reality, and the difference between horizontal and vertical development. Key Takeaways: We are entering the age of vertical development. Vertical development fosters essential growth of new perspectives and gives leaders a greater ability to handle the complex problems of our changing world. Fortunately, we can now measure how an individual grows through these stages of maturity thanks to assessments like the ones provided by the Vertical Development Academy. We need both horizontal and vertical development. While horizontal development gives you more knowledge, information, skills, credentials, and certificates, it doesn't fundamentally change any assumptions you have about yourself. It doesn't challenge any beliefs you have about how the world works. Vertical development, on the other hand, recognizes that you have certain beliefs, and that you’re invested in and identify with certain assumptions. And then these get challenged over time because of life experiences. How can a MAP assessment help? The MAP (Maturity Profile) assessment analyzes our developmental anatomy. It shows us how language reflects development, how we express our meaning-making, and what we see in the world through language.  This then reveals what we are aware of, what we're not aware of, and the hidden beliefs and assumptions that we hold. By challenging those beliefs and assumptions, we can open up to new perspectives. Our new psychological development models mirror ancient spiritual traditions. Traditionally, the Eastern spiritual and wisdom traditions have talked about unitive consciousness. And now, we have a model that mirrors the stages of consciousness for psycho-emotional development, which is a fascinating and valuable parallel.  The paradox of polarities. Polarities are tensions or interdependent values that we struggle with. Sometimes, we pick one value over the other thinking one is better than the other. But as we grow, we realize that it's not this or that; it's both. It's like inhaling and exhaling; we have to both inhale and exhale to live and breathe. You would never be able to pick one, because you need both to survive. So, not all problems are problems that can be solved. Sometimes it’s not about solving a problem; it's just about harmonizing, integrating, and managing both sides of the spectrum. Don’t let labels box you in. In early stages of development, we like to orient ourselves by boxing ourselves in and labeling ourselves as a “type” (i.e. “I’m a thinking type” or “I’m a feeling type”). This is helpful to a point. But as we grow, we continue to define ourselves in more expansive ways, until we eventually arrive at the style of no style. This is where you’re not bound by anything and you can be anything, because you realize that your conditioning has been keeping you in a box. This happens systematically and progressively, and it can sound like a tall order. But it’s the process. We all have the potential for unity consciousness. The idea of seeing others as the enemy is a very early stage idea. Many of us grow through that and recognize that it’s a limited way of viewing the world. And so our circle of embrace expands. While this might never happen for some people due to life circumstances and a lack of inner and outer resources, it has the potential to grow in every human being. In fact, it’s our birthright.

Today, Commander Divine speaks with Gary John Bishop, humanist, podcaster and author of the new book, Love Unfu*ked. A hilarious Scotsman with a brilliant mind, Gary esposes a unique brand of no-nonsense urban philosophy. In this episode, Gary discusses the nature of relationships, how to just be as opposed to being a victim, and recognizing that you are your behavior rather than your thoughts. Key Takeaways: Our relationships are our best and most potent opportunity to gain self awareness. They grind to the surface everything we think we can get away with, including the shadow or “junk” parts of ourselves that we feel like we’ve already handled. Instead of defending your junk when it comes up in your relationship, see it as a lesson to understand and explore. Don’t try to “control” your anger. This only leads to a buildup of repressed emotions that will eventually explode. Instead, realize and accept that anger is a natural human expression, and find a way to express it in a healthy way that works for you. The turning point in personal development is taking responsibility for how you show up in the world. This requires great introspection and awareness of the nature of your own thoughts and the energy you put out in the world. You create your external world based on what’s going on inside you. And the energy you get back is always a direct reflection of what you’re putting out, so choose wisely!  Don’t be a triumphant victim. A triumphant victim is someone who has overcome a terrible event, but still holds onto great anger about it. This only perpetuates their victimhood; it is only their resentment that keeps them stuck. When you just let go and let people off the hook for how things turned out, you finally free yourself from being the victim for good. Sometimes, fixing isn’t the answer. When people come to us for advice, our first reaction is usually to try to fix or change the problem. But sometimes, all the person needs to sort themselves out is silence and space to say whatever they need to say. When you give somebody the freedom to just be themselves, it creates a lot of space.

Today, Commander Divine speaks with Simon Drew, a multi-talented philosopher, poet, pianist, podcaster, and didgeridoo player. In his latest book, The Poet and the Sage, Simon digs deep into philosophy, mysticism, and metaphor. In this episode, Simon discusses his creative process, how philosophy and art are intertwined, and how to achieve enlightenment by playing the didgeridoo. Key Takeaways: Life is about asking better questions. Simon believes that life is a game with an objective, but it’s up to us to ask the right questions to know what that objective is and how to seek it out. It’s crucial to strengthen our questioning ability and face life with the degree of seriousness it deserves… and then being willing to hear the answers when we ask the questions. Not everybody is built as an artist. Simon says that inspiration typically hits him just a few minutes before he starts his writing routine, and it almost always comes to him easily and naturally. He says that the artistic experience is something that many people just don’t necessarily have access to – not because some people are superior and others are inferior, but because not everybody is built as an artist. Different art forms play different roles. Simon plays music, writes poetry, and hosts a podcast because all of these mediums allow for completely different forms of expression. One format may get across to people in different ways that aren’t possible with another medium. Practice “Po.” Simon talked about a beautiful principle called “po,” which means to sit with a question once it’s posited, rather than trying to answer it immediately. Simon hopes that when people read poetry, they will sit with the question in the poem and allow it space to seep into the mind, body, and soul… and see what happens. Between two worlds. The stoic definition of wisdom is “a knowledge of things human and divine.” Since we are strange beings stretched between the heights and the depths, Simon asks: How much could you truly contribute in life if you became highly skilled at living between those two worlds?

Today, Commander Divine speaks with Chris Duffin, health and fitness entrepreneur, author of The Eagle & the Dragon, and founder of Kabuki Strength. In this episode, Chris shares about growing up homeless as a child, his philosophy on fitness, and how he hopes to help people build resilience across every area of their lives. Key Takeaways: Weightlifting teaches you about life. Weightlifting can teach so many applicable lessons, but we often miss the connection. For example, some high-powered businessmen may execute amazing deals and strategies in the office, but then start flailing when they get to the gym. All they have to do is apply their planning and management skills, set expectations, and follow through. The inverse applies for people who get amazing results in the gym, but lack discipline in their work and home lives. Strength training should be empowering. As a trainer, you should lead someone toward not needing you. The individual has the largest amount of power in overcoming pain and creating change in their body. The trainer’s job is to provide the right methodology, the right tools, and the right mindset. When people learn those three things, they can own everything. Focus on impact. When it comes to fitness, Chris focuses on efforts that are going to make the biggest impact. For example, the ability to manage and control spinal mechanics has the largest global impact on the body, which is why Chris decided to do a 1,000 pound squat and deadlift for 3 reps each. Chris takes the same high-impact approach in business as well. Case in point: the mechanics of the foot has the second largest global impact on the body, which is why Chris started Bearfoot, a minimalist shoe company. Chris’ Grand Goals. Chris has three main Grand Goals that he lives his life by: 1. Demonstrate. Chris walks the walk to show what you can accomplish with the principles he teaches. 2. Inspire. Go for it. Shoot for something that is just so crazy that nobody's ever done it. Chris revels in showing people that if you set your mind to it, you can pull off things that seem impossible (like 3 reps of 1,000 pounds). 3. Be charitable. Chris has done a lot of feats of strength that also tie back into charity fundraisers for causes he believes in. The future of fitness. Chris’ company Kabuki Strength makes purpose-built barbells to help athletes train more safely and efficiently. They currently produce groundbreaking equipment for 90% of the NFL and MLB teams, but they’re not stopping there. Chris hopes to create a complete ecosystem of education, training tools, and data as it relates to the technology and art of coaching. He hopes to reinvent the typical gym in the future and change the face of fitness, eventually scaling to integrate with clinical care.