Deep Penetration | Gay and Bisexual Dating Advice with Daniel Morales

So, why does heart break hurt so bad? Well, there is actually a physiological reason. Have you ever heard of something called "broken heart syndrome?" Well, it’s a real thing! In medical terms, it is called Takotsubo cardiomyopathy (coined by Japanese researchers in 1990 because the shape of the heart represented a fishing pot). The condition is characterized by temporary weakening of the heart muscle that can cause symptoms similar to a heart attack. There are several medical studies that analyze and research the effects of heart break:   Studies have shown that heartbreak can trigger a stress response within the body that increases cortisol levels, the hormone responsible for inflammation and weakened immunity   Studies have shown that heartbreak can lead to a multitude of different symptoms such as  disrupted sleep cycles, change in appetite, fatigue, brain fog, anxiety, depression, etc.    I want to clarify, Takotsubo cardiomyopathy is an extreme response to emotional distress, therefore, it is not the common physiological response and primarily effects people who are elderly. That being said, all the other symptoms I mentioned previously are common if you have or are currently experiencing a heart break.   So, what do you do? How do you get rid of this pain?  Self-Care: As much as this has become a "trend," it is absolutely necessary when healing a broken heart. Just like you mend a broken arm with care and patience, that is how you mend a broken heart. Allow yourself to grieve and cry it out, but designate time for that. The rest of the time should be used towards productive activities that bring meaning to your life and provide a healthy distraction. When we allow too much downtime after a heartbreak, we allow our minds to run rampant which is what they are designed to do! That's how it keeps us alive. Pick activities that make you FEEL good. Even if you don’t feel good in the beginning, know that it will eventually feel good because it did once before.    Support System: Surround yourself with people who care about you and are able to view the situation objectively. Yes, it's nice to have someone in your corner that defends you to the ends of the earth, however, that can also be a very triggering dynamic. What you experienced is difficult, and having someone you are close to tell you things like, "you deserve better," or "you'll fine someone better," or "that's their loss," only scratches the surface and can be very dismissive although it is well intentioned.    Practice Mindfulness Techniques: Try things such as meditation, yoga, or breath work to help combat the anxiety and depression.   Be Patient: I understand the urge to heal, but you cant rush healing. That’s called coping. Understand that the journey through heartbreak is a subjective experience. Everyone heals at a different rate and that’s okay! Practice self-love, forgiveness, and patience throughout the process. The average person, if you are investing the time and effort into healing and moving on, feels a shift between the 3-4 month mark.  Chapters: Intro 00:01 Historical gay love stories 02:35 The physiological reason your heart breaks 05:00 Heartbreak analogy 07:52 Native American parable 09:48 Recommendations on how to heal from heartbreak 11:10 Want to connect with me? INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/coach_dannymorales TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@coachdannymorales WEBSITE: https://www.thecoachdanny.com EMAIL: danny@thecoachdanny.com  LINKTREE: https://linktr.ee/thecoachdanny FREE GIFTS: Overcoming Infidelity: https://www.click.thecoachdanny.com/overcoming-infidelity-capture Queer Dating 101: https://www.click.thecoachdanny.com/mens-dating-gift COACHING: One-Hour: https://www.click.thecoachdanny.com/1h-coaching-order 30min: https://www.click.thecoachdanny.com/30min-coaching-order

Over the years, I have spoken with countless men and discussed this topic and the 4 points I brought up above tend to be the most common reasons. Let's break them down:   Masculinity: For many of us, being effeminate was frowned upon by the masculine influences in our life (dad, grandpa, teacher, pastor, friends, etc.) Culturally speaking, many of were classically conditioned to place masculinity on a pedestal and to view feminine energy as negative. Allow me to clarify, I don’t mean feminine energy in women, I'm talking about in men. So, it can be second nature to be attracted to more straight presenting men. A majority of the men I have spoken to about this are "straight" presenting themselves.   Dominance: A lot of men, including myself, have fantasized about a BDSM scenario. The classic tug of war between dominance & submission. Justin Lehmiller (PhD) surveyed over 4,000 men for his book 'Tell Me What You Want' & discovered that a majority of LGBTQ+ individuals fantasized more about BDSM than "straight men." Why is this relevant? He further explains that straight men play the dominant role in a majority of the porn scenes having to do with BDSM which further contributes to the "straight fetish."   Validation: As I mentioned in my story above, I was made fun of a lot by guys when I was growing up and I discovered for myself that the driving force behind my "fantasy" was to regain some power in my life. I wanted to take back the power those guys had taken from me at a young age in order to feel "desired" or "wanted" by straight men. I wanted to be part of "the boys." I never truly realized how much this effected me growing up.   Acceptance: This touches upon the "last pick" aspect of childhood. I remember growing up I was always last to be picked for the sports teams or games because of how I was perceived by the straight guys. Granted, when I was going to elementary school, we weren't discussing sexual orientation, therefore, I just remember wanting to be accepted by a group of guys that DIDN'T want to accept me and went out of their way to reject me every chance they could. I even remember an instance where a close friend of mine at the time, was presented with the option of sticking with me or being accepted by the group of guys. Needless to say, he chose the herd. I was deeply wounded by this experience which further fueled my desire to be accepted, however, looking back as an adult… I don’t blame him. Chapters: Intro 00:01 What does perfection actually mean? 01:47 What about straight men do I find attractive? Unpacking the reason behind the fantasy by looking at my past 03:30 The 4 primary points that are brought up when talking about a "straight man" fantasy 10:00 The need for validation 12:38 The need for acceptance 15:48 Want to connect with me? INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/coach_dannymorales TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@coachdannymorales WEBSITE: https://www.thecoachdanny.com EMAIL: danny@thecoachdanny.com  LINKTREE: https://linktr.ee/thecoachdanny FREE GIFTS: Overcoming Infidelity: https://www.click.thecoachdanny.com/overcoming-infidelity-capture Queer Dating 101: https://www.click.thecoachdanny.com/mens-dating-gift COACHING: One-Hour: https://www.click.thecoachdanny.com/1h-coaching-order 30min: https://www.click.thecoachdanny.com/30min-coaching-order

To understand where a persons expectations come from, you have to understand their story. I often times find that a lot of people have unrealistic expectations: I want him to make me happy. I want someone who’s always there for me. I want a best friend, lover, therapist, bank, mentor, partner, etc. I want to always feel desired. I don’t ever want to be bored in my relationship. Although these things are great and to some degree, necessary to make a relationship work… to expect someone to fulfill all of these things, all at once, all at the same time is unrealistic. In fact, if these expectations seem normal to you and we were having a 1:1 session, I would ask you this: When is the last time someone fulfilled those needs and met those expectations?  Do you have high expectations for yourself?  When is the last time you feel you truly succeeded in something?  When is the last time you felt truly happy in a relationship? The reason I ask these questions is because unrealistic or unattainable expectations begin within yourself. Your own personal view of yourself and the standards you have created for yourself sets the bar. What’s the problem with that? You rarely achieve your own expectations because you are constantly moving the finish line or readjusting the bar. Therefore, you desensitize yourself to the feeling of achievement or success.    How is this processed? As a failure.    In my years of being a coach, I find that people who set the bar incredibly high fail to meet that standard or achieve their own personal goals, therefore, if someone else fails to meet those expectations as well… they are not alone in that failure. It’s a twisted form of validation that further reinforces their actions and doesn’t require them to challenge the narrative they have come to believe over the years. Their identity is protected, they are justified, and it’s an issue with the other person… not them.    So, if you have been on the receiving end of someone who expects too much from you, understand this: expectations that others place on you, if they are unattainable or unrealistic, they are projections of their own individual failures that they then place on you. Why? To not feel alone in their failure. If you also fail at meeting their expectations, they can justify for themselves why they have also failed.    I like to break it down to two types of expectations:   Fear Based Expectations Confidence Based Expectations   We all experience heartbreak and disappointment at some point in our lives and depending on how we handle that experience, it results in us adopting defense mechanisms. You are probably thinking of the common defense mechanisms or the ones most people think of: aggression (verbal, emotional, or physical), avoidance (silent treatment, emotional disconnect, detachment), etc. A lot of people unknowingly create expectations and utilize them as a defense. Chapters: Intro 00:01 If you want to understand where expectations come from, you have to understand the story behind it 01:35 Important questions to ask yourself 0:3:30 The two types of expectations you should know 07:40 Stop masking your insecurities with confidence 10:30 Confidence based expectations lead to the healthiest relationships 12:55 Want to connect with me? INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/coach_dannymorales TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@coachdannymorales WEBSITE: https://www.thecoachdanny.com EMAIL: danny@thecoachdanny.com  LINKTREE: https://linktr.ee/thecoachdanny FREE GIFTS: Overcoming Infidelity: https://www.click.thecoachdanny.com/overcoming-infidelity-capture Queer Dating 101: https://www.click.thecoachdanny.com/mens-dating-gift COACHING: One-Hour: https://www.click.thecoachdanny.com/1h-coaching-order 30min: https://www.click.thecoachdanny.com/30min-coaching-order

Resources: 🎁 FREE GIFT | https://stan.store/MensLoveCoach 🎙️Spotify | ⁠⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/deep-penetration 📱TikTok | ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@coachdannymorales ⁠⁠❤️Insta | ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/coach_dannymorales/⁠⁠ 💻Website | ⁠⁠https://www.thecoachdanny.com⁠ 📧 Email | dannymoralescoaching@gmail.com Episode Description: Welcome to the "Deep Penetration Podcast," join me for a candid conversation about internalized homophobia, its impact, and the path to self-acceptance for Gay & Bisexual men. Before delving in, let me introduce myself! I'm Danny and I help Gay and Bisexual men with dating, self-esteem building, and relationships. In this episode, discover how societal pressures and personal experiences can contribute to feelings of shame and self-doubt, and learn why embracing your authentic self is key to finding purpose and belonging. In this episode, I open up about my own struggles with internalized homophobia and offer insights on recognizing its signs: 1. Negative Self-Talk: Criticizing yourself for your sexual orientation. 2. Avoidance of LGBTQ+ Spaces: Stepping away from supportive communities due to fear of judgment. 3. Hiding or Denying Sexual Orientation: Concealing your identity to avoid discrimination. 4. Seeking Approval: Craving validation from others, even those who hold homophobic beliefs. 5. Overcompensation: Suppressing aspects of your identity to conform to societal norms. Discover how internalized homophobia develops and explore actionable steps to overcome it: 1. Self-awareness: Unravel the beliefs and behaviors shaped by societal expectations. 2. Seek Support: Surround yourself with accepting individuals who uplift and validate your identity. 3. Coaching or Therapy: Utilize professional guidance to process and heal from internalized shame. 4. Education: Learn about LGBTQ+ history and culture to foster pride and belonging. 5. Challenge Negative Beliefs: Question stereotypes and embrace diverse perspectives to reshape your mindset. 6. Practice Self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and acknowledge the validity of your identity. 7. Take Action: Support others within the LGBTQ+ community to find purpose and fulfillment. Embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment with me as your guide. Subscribe and share this episode to spread awareness and support for those navigating similar struggles. Remember, you are not alone, and your journey toward self-acceptance is valid and worthy of celebration. Time Stamps: 00:00 Introduction 02:55 What is Internalized Homophobia? 4:13 Signs You Could be Dealing with Internalized Homophobia 06:28 My Personal Experience with Internalized Homophobia 09:22 How Internalized Homophobia Starts 16:22 How I Overcame Internalized Homophobia

Resources: 🎁 FREE GIFT | https://stan.store/MensLoveCoach 🎙️Spotify | ⁠⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/deep-penetration 📱TikTok | ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@coachdannymorales ⁠⁠❤️Insta | ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/coach_dannymorales/⁠⁠ 💻Website | ⁠⁠https://www.thecoachdanny.com⁠ 📧 Email | dannymoralescoaching@gmail.com Episode Description: Are you tired of the dating game feeling like a chore? Join me as I share insights and strategies to navigate the world of dating and relationships tailored for Gay & Bisexual men. Before we dive in, let me introduce myself! I'm Danny, a love and self-esteem coach dedicated to helping men with dating, relationships, and self-esteem building. Check out the links in the description to learn more and grab some freebies! In this episode, I break down how to escape the cycle of frustrating dating experiences: 1. Intentional Dating: Discover what you're truly looking for and communicate it clearly. Danny shares tips on setting boundaries, values, and expectations upfront to align with your dating goals. 2. Handling Ghosting & Mindset Reframing: Learn how to cope with ghosting and shift your mindset to maintain a positive outlook on dating despite setbacks. 3. Identifying Red Flags: Danny highlights common red flags to watch out for in potential partners, helping you avoid toxic relationships and wasted time. 4. Spotting Green Flags: Explore the positive signs of a healthy relationship, including effective communication, mutual respect, shared values, and emotional intelligence. Don't let past dating disappointments hold you back. Tune in to equip yourself with the tools and mindset for dating success. Subscribe and share this episode with your friends to spread the love! Time Stamps: 00:00 Introduction 01:31 What We're Going to Cover 02:39 Part I: How to Date Intentionally 10:10 Ghosting in the Gay Community 14:24 Part II: Dating Red Flags 18:16 Part III: Dating Green Flags

Resources: 🎁 FREE GIFT | https://stan.store/MensLoveCoach 🎙️Spotify | ⁠⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/deep-penetration 📱TikTok | ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@coachdannymorales ⁠⁠❤️Insta | ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/coach_dannymorales/⁠⁠ 💻Website | ⁠⁠https://www.thecoachdanny.com⁠ 📧 Email | dannymoralescoaching@gmail.com Episode Description: Are you wondering why you're still single? Join me as I share insights and tips on navigating the world of dating and relationships, specifically tailored for Gay & Bisexual men. Before we dive in, let me introduce myself. I'm Danny, a love and self-esteem coach dedicated to helping Gay and Bisexual men with dating, building self-esteem, and relationships. If you're ready to find love or explore your dating journey, I've got resources and support for you. Check the links in the description! Let's uncover the reasons why you might still be single: Reason #1: Mindset Many people dive into dating without considering their mindset. Ask yourself: Why am I putting myself out there? Understanding your motivation is crucial. A positive mindset rooted in genuine connection sets the stage for a fulfilling dating experience. Reason #2: Using the Wrong Resources Apps like Grindr might offer convenience, but they're not designed for meaningful connections. Consider alternatives like Hinge or exploring LGBTQ+ events and communities for authentic connections. Reason #3: Lack of Time Being "too busy" can hinder your dating life. Prioritize self-care, manage your time effectively, set boundaries, and focus on quality interactions to make room for relationships. Ready to find love? Tune in for practical advice and insights on intentional dating. Don't forget to subscribe and share this episode with friends! Time Stamps: 00:00 Introduction 02:30 Reason #1: Mindset 05:40 What you need to prepare yourself for dating 07:40 Reason #2: Using the wrong resources 12:17 Reason #3: Lack of time 13:00 3 reasons you "don't have time" 16:50 How to make your time for dating and relationships

Resources: 🎁 FREE GIFT | https://stan.store/MensLoveCoach 🎙️Spotify | ⁠⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/deep-penetration 📱TikTok | ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@coachdannymorales ⁠⁠❤️Insta | ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/coach_dannymorales/⁠⁠ 💻Website | ⁠⁠https://www.thecoachdanny.com⁠ 📧 Email | dannymoralescoaching@gmail.com Episode Description: Are you facing the daunting question of whether to pursue an open relationship? It's a complex decision that can rock the foundation of any partnership. Join me as we explore the intricacies of this topic, tailored especially for Gay & Bisexual men. Before we dive in, let me introduce myself. I'm Danny, a love and self-esteem coach dedicated to helping men navigate the complexities of relationships, dating, and building self-esteem. If you're grappling with this issue, I've got resources and support for you. Check the links in the description! Now, let's tackle this together. If you're considering an open relationship but unsure how to proceed, here's a roadmap: 1. Self-Reflection: Understand your feelings, boundaries, and concerns before discussing them with your partner. 2. Communication: Have an open, non-judgmental conversation about desires, fears, and expectations. 3. Establish Boundaries: Define clear guidelines for the open relationship to ensure mutual comfort and well-being. 4. Regular Check-Ins: Maintain open communication and reevaluate the arrangement periodically to address any issues that arise. 5. Seek Support: Reach out to professionals or peers for guidance and support as you navigate this journey. If the idea of an open relationship doesn't align with your values, here's how to handle it: 1. Express Boundaries: Clearly communicate your discomfort with the idea and listen empathetically to your partner's perspective. 2. Evaluate Comfort Level: Reflect on potential compromises while honoring your own boundaries and values. 3. Seek Support: Find neutral support to help navigate your feelings and decision-making process objectively. 4. Consider Separation: If reconciliation isn't possible, approach an amicable separation with compassion and respect for each other's feelings. Remember, whether you choose to explore an open relationship or not, your well-being and happiness are paramount. Subscribe and share this episode for more insights and support! Time Stamps: 00:00 Introduction (Yes, I want an open relationship) 03:10 Step #1: Self-Reflection & Understanding 04:00 Step #2: Open & Honest Communication 06:18 Step #3: Establishing Boundaries 07:47 Step #4: Regular Check-Ins & Re-Evaluation 09:41 Step #5: Seek Support (No, I don't want an open relationship) If you are the partner who wants the open relationship, here are some tips: 13:43 Step #1: Express your Feelings Honestly 14:36 Step #2: Listen with Empathy 15:43 Step #3: Explore Compromises and Alternatives 17:19 Step #4: Respect Your Partners Boundaries 18:07 Step #5: Consider Your Relationship Compatibility If you are the partner who does NOT want an open relationship, here are some tips: 19:17 Step #1: Communicate Your Boundaries Clearly 19:53 Step #2: Listen to Your Partners Perspective 20:24 Step #3: Explore Compromises 21:39 Step #4: Lean on Your Support System 22:27 Step #5: Consider an Amicable Separation

Resources: 🎁 FREE GIFT | https://stan.store/MensLoveCoach 🎙️Spotify | ⁠⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/deep-penetration 📱TikTok | ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@coachdannymorales ⁠⁠❤️Insta | ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/coach_dannymorales/⁠⁠ 💻Website | ⁠⁠https://www.thecoachdanny.com⁠ 📧 Email | dannymoralescoaching@gmail.com Episode Description: Welcome to the "Deep Penetration Podcast!" I'm Danny, a love and self-esteem coach specializing in supporting Gay & Bisexual men with dating, self-esteem building, & relationships. If you suspect your partner might be cheating, you're not alone. In this episode, we'll delve into 5 key signs to look out for and what to do if you're facing this tough situation. 1. Trust Your Gut: That nagging feeling? Don't ignore it. Your intuition is powerful. Learn how to address it directly and compassionately. 2. Behavior Changes: Is your partner acting differently? Pay attention to subtle shifts and gather evidence before confronting them. 3. Intimacy Issues: Lack of physical or emotional connection can signal trouble. Approach the topic with empathy and understanding. 4. Secrecy & Defensiveness: Guarded behavior? It's time to have an open, honest conversation about transparency. 5. Outside Intuition: Have friends or family raised concerns? Take their observations seriously and consider them alongside your own instincts. Navigating suspicions of infidelity can be an emotional rollercoaster, but remember, you're not alone. Reach out for support and remember your worth, regardless of your relationship status. Don't forget to subscribe, share, and check the links in the description for more resources and support. Time Stamps: 00:00 Introduction 02:30 First sign your partner might be cheating & how to handle it (gut instinct) 05:47 Second sign your partner might be cheating & how to handle it (change in behavior) 08:25 Third sign your partner might be cheating & how to handle it (lack of intimacy) 11:10 Fourth sign your partner might be cheating & how to handle it (secrecy & defensiveness) 12:47 Fifth sign your partner might be cheating and how to handle it (intuition from others)

Why is it that men who have been sexually abused don't feel like they have a voice? If you are a victim of sexual abuse, did the same of the experience cause you to avoid it all together? Did you feel weak or ashamed because men are not supposed to be sexually abused? Today, Danny welcomes you to have a conversation about ASA (Adult Sexual Abuse) amongst Gay & Bisexual men in the LGBTQ community. For many of you that have experienced this, the experience itself likely fueled avoidance, self-destructive behaviors, or the inability to sustain a fulfilling relationship. In this episode, you will learn about sexual abuse amongst Gay & Bisexual men, Danny's personal story, how to begin unpacking it, and some resources for you to use if you are in fact, a victim of ASA. In the episode, you will learn: Danny's ASA (Adult Sexual Abuse) Story The need for therapy to unpack buried traumas The 3 misconceptions about Gay & Bisexual men Lessons Danny learned after the experience Resources for anyone that has been sexually abused What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:36 Information for the Sexual Abuse Hotline 04:03 My sexual abuse story 15:12 Therapy is necessary to unpack deep rooted trauma 17:15 Acknowledging that you are a victim is the first step to healing 21:00 There is a lack of resources for men who are victims of ASA (Adult Sexual Abuse) 23:00 Using pornography as sexual education is dangerous 25:30 What I wish I had known back then Resources: FREE GIFT | ⁠https://stan.store/QueerLoveCoach⁠ YouTube | ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@thecoachdanny⁠ TikTok | ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@coachdannymorales⁠ Insta | ⁠https://www.instagram.com/coach_dannymorales/⁠ Website: ⁠https://www.thecoachdanny.com⁠ Email: dannymoralescoaching@gmail.com Sexual Abuse Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

How come it seems SO difficult to find healthy and long-lasting love in the LGBTQ+ community? Have you ever wondered what the steps are to finding that "dream" relationship? What it would feel like to have an incredible date that never ends? Today, Danny welcomes you to have a conversation about dating in the LGBTQ community. For many of you, the experience itself has been a negative one due to a multitude of different reasons (lack of commitment, self-esteem issues, casual mindset, hookup culture etc.) In this episode, you will learn to tackle your own personal beliefs around dating and how it can impact your dating life. You will learn about Danny's "5 Dating Rules" that will help you change your mindset and approach dating with more intentionality. Have you ever stopped and asked yourself, "what would it feel like to find someone that is serious about building a life together?" If you have, what self-reflection have you done to unpack your thoughts and feelings around dating and how that could be impacting your ability to attract the right guy. This episode will provide you with some tangible steps you can take! In the episode, you will learn: Understanding confirmation bias and how it impacts your dating life The 5 rules of dating as a Gay or Bisexual Man Confronting your beliefs about dating in order to shift your mindset What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 02:30 Dating quotes from previous clients 04:40 If your going to be successful in dating, you have to change your perspective 05:50 First dating rule: reflect on your positive dating experiences 08:10 Understanding confirmation bias 09:33 Second dating rule: re-evaluate your type 14:15 Third dating rule: update your dating profile 16:36 Fourth dating rule: commit to a minimum of three dates 18:00 Fifth dating rule: Commit to the process, not the outcome Resources: FREE GIFT | ⁠https://stan.store/QueerLoveCoach⁠ YouTube | ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@thecoachdanny⁠ TikTok | ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@coachdannymorales⁠ Insta | ⁠https://www.instagram.com/coach_dannymorales/⁠ Website: ⁠https://www.thecoachdanny.com⁠ Email: dannymoralescoaching@gmail.com