The Michelle Chalfant Show — Life from the Adult Chair

We all have different ways that we connect and bond with others, and in psychology, we call this “attachment style.” For example, some of us are anxious in our bonds, always making sure the relationship is ok. Others of us pull away when we feel we are getting too close with someone else. Our attachment style is HIGHLY influenced by our childhood and how we bonded with our caregivers growing up, and it’s so important to understanding how we interact in our adult relationships! In this episode, I interview the incredible Silvy Khoucasian, a relationship coach and attachment style expert, about the different attachment styles and how we bond in relationships. Understanding your attachment style can be one of the most helpful tools for understanding how you show up in relationships and seeing the patterns that you might otherwise be tempted to blame on your partner.   Listen to discover: What attachment theory is and why it matters The four attachment styles How the different attachment styles interact with each other How your attachment style creates patterns in your relationships today How to set boundaries for each attachment style Repairing shame and moving forward in relationships   It was such a joy having Silvy on the show as she breaks down attachment theory in a simple, easy-to-understand way. As Silvy reminds us, our attachment style is not our fault, and it’s important to be gentle with ourselves as we learn and heal these patterns. Everyone is deserving of love and capable of having secure, healthy relationships no matter their attachment style — but it’s up to us to do the work! I hope this episode helps you on your journey towards healthier relationships.   “Along that journey, it’s important to start reflecting on, ‘What are some ways I can start to bring healthier behaviors into the picture?’ or at least, ‘How can I communicate the tendencies that push people away or block connection?’” - Silvy Khoucasian   “It doesn’t matter who we pair with as long as both people are willing to see their unhealthy behaviors...it takes both people being really honest about those things.” - Silvy Khoucasian   “Starting to pay attention to whether our boundaries are serving us or if they’re actually getting in the way of the kinds of relationships we want can be really helpful and can be paired with certain attachment styles really well.” - Silvy Khoucasian   “As you do the thing that’s going to help you heal it, it’s going to be uncomfortable.” - Silvy Khoucasian   “You have to know yourself, then you have to be able to tell your partner who you are and what you need. We react instead of expressing, ‘Hey, this is what I need.’” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources Silvy Khoucasian on Instagram @SilvyKhoucasian Boundaries Offering https://bryanreves.com/boundaries-silvy/ The Adult Chair Workshop - New York https://theadultchair.com/new-york/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/ The Adult Chair Membership - Free Month of July! https://theadultchair.com/membership/ Use code FREEMEMBER   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

As we reach the last week of June and find ourselves halfway through 2020, I’m having a hard time finding words for this year. It has felt like a year of nonstop chaos, with so many challenges at the global and personal level. We are all feeling triggered everywhere we turn and overwhelmed by a range of emotions. You might be wondering if it’s even possible to live from your healthy Adult Chair during times like these, and I’m here to tell you that it IS possible. These are the times when we need The Adult Chair the most. It is when our healthiest selves are challenged that we truly develop the skills and practices that keep us in peace and balance regardless of outside circumstances. In this episode, I give you tons of practical tips to help you navigate times of chaos from your Adult Chair. This includes how to tell when you’ve slipped into the Adolescent, how to get back into your Adult and how I’m using The Adult Chair model to get through 2020.   Listen to discover: The key signs that you’re in the Adolescent Chair How to get into your Adult Chair What anxiety is and how to clear the mind when it’s running constantly How to feel emotions, clear your energy and stay grounded What triggers are and how they can be helpful Practical tips to get through hard times from a healthy place   When I say The Adult Chair model is here to help you live a life of balance no matter what is going on in the world (or your life), I mean it! It’s not just a zen state that you can find when all is good. It’s a practical model to help you get through even the most chaotic of times. I know it is helping me! I really believe that we are in a season of transformation right now. Our world is changing, and it’s bringing us along with it. And while transformation is always painful, we are uncovering truths that have been hidden for far too long and making progress that is long overdue. Through The Adult Chair model, not only can you stay balanced during stressful times, but you can also step into your own journey of transformation and join the world as it changes for the better.   “When we’re faced with fear, we have a tendency to slide out of the Adult Chair, the seat of the authentic part of who we are, and we get pulled by our ego into our Adolescent Chair. This is the seat of unconsciousness.” - Michelle Chalfant   “We want to make sure we’re living in this place [of presence] before we step out into the world or make a statement.” - Michelle Chalfant   "Anxiety is the physical manifestation of unfelt emotions." - Michelle Chalfant   “I can’t expect the world to change to make me feel better. [I have] to change and make [myself] feel better, and I say the same thing to you.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources The Adult Chair Workshop - New York https://theadultchair.com/new-york/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Charleston https://theadultchair.com/charleston/ Insight Timer https://insighttimer.com/   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

As humans, we all want to avoid pain and suffering...but what if pain can be a gateway to our healing? What if experiencing sadness actually increases our ability to feel joy? In this episode, I’m chatting with the incredible Ruthie Lindsey as she shares her journey through tragedy and chronic pain to hope and healing. After being nearly killed in a car accident in high school, Ruthie experienced chronic physical pain as a result of a spinal cord injury while also walking through the death of her father and other personal tragedies. It would have been easy to simply numb out to survive, but Ruthie made the conscious choice to seek goodness and beauty despite the pain, and in doing so, opened up a world of hope and healing.    Listen to discover: Ruthie’s journey from numbing her pain to learning to live fully in spite of pain Why the mind/body connection is so important The connection between physical healing and emotional healing The importance of inner child work in unlearning destructive stories and beliefs Ruthie’s journey of coming home to Self and waking up to consciousness — and how you can go on this journey for yourself    We all have a choice to either numb our pain or to live fully and lean into healing. As Ruthie shares her story, I know you will be inspired and enlightened on what it truly means to heal, and I hope she will be a mirror of love and hope to all who are on their own journeys of healing.   "When you numb the hard and painful things, you numb everything. You can't pick and choose." - Ruthie Lindsey   "I feel like for me, so much of my healing work has been this unlearning, has been this remembering, has been this unwinding of the stories that we learn from the culture and patriarchy and church and family telling us these things about ourselves and that who we are is what we do." - Ruthie Lindsey   "You can't [heal] for someone else. Only you can do that for you. But when we do that, we can go out and be mirrors of love, hope and healing and divinity that's within everyone." - Ruthie Lindsey   "We're handed down these beliefs about who we are without discernment." - Michelle Chalfant   Resources Ruthie Lindsey Website http://www.ruthielindsey.com/ Ruthie Lindsey Book https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/198210791X Ruthie Lindsey Instagram http://instagram.com/ruthielindsey Ruthie Lindsey Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/ruthielindseyspeaker Ruthie Lindsey Twitter https://twitter.com/lindseyruthie Onsite https://www.onsiteworkshops.com/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/nashville/   More Adult Chair  The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop - New York and Charleston https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Why do you do what you do? That question is probably more difficult to answer than most of us think...not only because we often don’t know ourselves well, but also because the majority of our behaviors and actions come from programming in the unconscious mind. Sometimes, this programming happened when we were so young that we can’t even recall it; in fact, most of our beliefs form before the age of five! But the good news is that no matter our programming, we CAN change our minds, rewire our thoughts and beliefs, and as a result, transform the way we act and live. In this episode, I interview the brilliant Marisa Peer, a therapist, behavioral specialist, author and speaker who helps people completely transform their lives by changing their minds. The founder of Rapid Transformational Therapy, an innovative method rooted in hypnotism, Marisa helps clients uncover their unconscious beliefs and transform them at the source. Marisa is an expert on the inner workings of the mind, and she walks us through the process for coding in new healthy beliefs and breaking unhealthy patterns. She also shares really practical and simple ways we can begin to change our mind, even without therapy or hypnotism.   Listen to discover: How the mind works and how limiting beliefs are formed, even without us knowing it’s happening Why and how we can literally change our minds The four-step process of shifting beliefs: investigating, interpreting, interrupting and installing new ones The three root causes of depression and how to transform it The power of our words and how to use language that transforms the mind (it needs to be practical, present and repeatable) Why the phrase “I am enough” is the KEY to transforming just about anything in your life   This episode is so RICH with content that I can’t even begin to summarize it here...you just have to listen! Marisa also leaves us with some beautiful information about her international “I am enough” movement, so you can take what you learn and put it into action right away.   “If you unconsciously created it, you can consciously let go of it.” - Marisa Peer   “The mind doesn’t have a choice to act on the words you say, but you have a choice to say better words.” - Marisa Peer   “How you feel about anything comes down to the picture you make in your head and the words that you construct.” - Marisa Peer   “When you hurt a child or don’t meet their needs, they don’t stop loving you — they stop loving themselves.”  - Marisa Peer   “The common denominator of all our issues stems from ‘I’m not enough.” - Marisa Peer   Resources Marisa Peer Website (free resources) https://marisapeer.com/ Rapid Transformational Therapy (for therapists) https://rtt.com/ I Am Enough (course) https://iamenough.com/ Marisa Peer Instagram https://www.instagram.com/marisapeertherapy/ Marisa Peer YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGb0bBp7bTQBHLlyAfNV-Fg Marisa Peer Facebook https://www.facebook.com/marisa.peer.therapy/ Marisa Peer Twitter https://twitter.com/marisapeer The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/nashville/ The Adult Chair Membership (June Theme: Self-Worth) https://theadultchair.com/membership/   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Workshop - New York and Charleston https://theadultchair.com/events/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

With everything going on the world the last few months, fear has been on all of our minds recently. Though this fear is very real, it’s also related to events happening outside of ourselves...events we can’t fully control. But we also all have deeper emotional fears that aren’t related to what is going on in the world and are more constant: fear of vulnerability, fear of rejection, fear of being trapped, etc. They come from inside us, and they hold us back from living the life we really want to live. What if you could train yourself to face your fears and become more than you ever thought possible in life?  Today’s guest, Michelle Poler, asked herself that same question and embarked on a life-changing experiment where she faced a new fear every day for 100 days. Her project went viral, and she now travels the world speaking and writing about how to walk through fear and tap into your fullest potential.  In this episode, she shares her incredible journey, what she learned through her experiment and her tips for overcoming fear in everyday life.   Listen to discover: Why our fears limit us and keep us from becoming who we’re meant to be How to practice courage and build confidence How to face the unknown and embrace change Reframing failure and choosing to see opportunity instead Finding the best, even in the worst-case scenario   When we feel fear in our bodies, most of us take that as a sign to stop what we’re doing or run in the other direction. But when we push through that fear, we discover a world of potential, dreams and opportunities.  Michelle’s story and perspective on life is SO inspiring, and I know you will walk away from this episode with fresh energy to say “no” to fear and “yes” to life!   “When you radically accept what’s happening, you open new doors.” - Michelle Poler “Don’t ask yourself, ‘What’s the worst thing that could happen?’ Ask yourself ‘What’s the best thing that could happen?’” - Michelle Poler “The real enemy of success is not failure; it’s comfort.” - Michelle Poler   Resources Michelle Poler Website https://www.michellepoler.com/ Michelle Poler Instagram http://instagram.com/hellofears Michelle Poler Book https://www.amazon.com/Hello-Fears-Crush-Comfort-Become/dp/1492688894 The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/nashville/ The Adult Chair Membership (June Theme: Self-Worth) https://theadultchair.com/membership/ Care/Of https://takecareof.com/ 50% off with code ADULT50   More Adult Chair  The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville, New York and Charleston https://theadultchair.com/events/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

Boundaries are one of those things that I think we can never talk too much about! Though this is a simple topic, boundaries are difficult for most of us — but they’re completely life-changing when we learn to practice them well. So, it’s time to talk about boundaries again, and in this episode, I’m giving you a boundaries crash course! If you’ve been listening for a while, this will be a great refresher on the topic of boundaries…and if you’re brand new to the show, this is the perfect place to start in learning this critical skill. A boundary is simply teaching others how to treat us. Setting them can feel scary at first, but it’s our job to care for ourselves by honoring our boundaries. Otherwise, we are betraying ourselves and putting the beliefs and values of others before ours…and that never leads to peace and happiness in life.   Listen to discover: The first step to knowing your boundaries How to communicate “bullet point” boundaries How to get more comfortable with boundaries as a codependent and how to distinguish weak boundaries from loving action When to speak up and when to remove yourself (both a version of boundaries) Why we can’t expect others to know our boundaries   Remember, a boundary can be as simple as “I feel _____ when you do _____.” This is a great formula for getting started with boundaries! Most of us didn't have health boundaries modeled growing up, and most of us struggle with setting them. Give yourself some grace! This is not about beating yourself up but about practicing boundaries until they get easier with time — and you get healthier as a result.   “Before setting a boundary, you have to know who you are and what your beliefs, values, morals and needs are.” - Michelle Chalfant   “A boundary may have no words. It may be removing yourself.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources A Guided Meditation for Setting Boundaries https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/a-guided-meditation-for-setting-boundaries/ Episode #184: Boundaries, Empowerment and Finding Truth https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/184/ Episode #175: Setting Healthy Boundaries https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/175-setting-healthy-boundaries/   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville, New York and Charleston https://theadultchair.com/events/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

“Empath” is one of those words that has become a buzzword over the last few years, and it has us empaths who have felt different our whole lives yelling, “Finally!” At last, the world is beginning to understand that certain people are wired in a way that makes them highly in tune with their environment and the emotions around them. Where empaths might have been called too sensitive in the past, we’re now acknowledging the unique gifts that empaths bring to the table — from having huge amounts of empathy to deeply caring for others. But being an empath also comes with its own unique set of challenges. Because we’re so affected by what is going on around us, we can often find ourselves overwhelmed, exhausted or just feeling “off.” Self-care is SO critical for empaths to stay healthy and centered. In this episode, I’m interviewing the incredible Dr. Judith Orloff, a brilliant psychiatrist and healer, who has written a number of books on how to survive and thrive as an empath. She shares a wealth of wisdom on how to know if you’re an empath, common traps empaths fall into and practical tips to live empowered as an empath.   Listen to discover: Why empaths often have a hard time blocking out the world around them Why empaths are often drawn to relationships with narcissists Avoiding the addiction and anger trap (often a side effect of overwhelm) The side effects of chronic sensory overload and how to recognize them Practical tips for self-care and getting back into balance as an empath If you’ve felt different, sensitive or intuitive your whole life, I think this episode will really resonate with you. Empaths are kind, loving, beautiful individuals who can truly thrive when we learn to be just as kind and loving to ourselves.   “Empaths don’t have the same kind of filters that other people have in terms of emotional or physical filters, so when something intense is going on in the world or your life, you may have a tendency to be overwhelmed by this.” - Dr. Judith Orloff   “Many empaths are having problems during this time because they’re not embodied anymore. They’re in their minds and they’re in panic, fear and suffering is in the mind. So if you bring it back to the body and heart, which is healing energy, you can recalibrate yourself.” - Dr. Judith Orloff   “An empowered empath is someone who can stay centered and loving without absorbing all the energy.” - Dr. Judith Orloff   Resources  Judith Orloff Website https://drjudithorloff.com/  Judith Orloff Book: “The Empath’s Survival Guide” https://www.amazon.com/Empaths-Survival-Guide-Strategies-Sensitive Judith Orloff Book: “Thriving As An Empath” https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1683642910 Judith Orloff Empath Support Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/929510143757438/   Inner Child Resource https://theadultchair.com/innerchild/  Empath Meditation for Cleansing and Clearing Your Energy https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/empath-meditation-for-cleansing-and-clearing-your-energy/   More Adult Chair  The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville, New York and Charleston https://theadultchair.com/events/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com   

Most of us long for deeply connected relationships — it’s a core part of our wiring as humans! But even when we’re in a relationship, many of us don’t know how to create the connection we crave. We might spend time with those we love, talk frequently and even get along with each other easily, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we know how to really let ourselves be known and how to really see and hear each other. In today’s episode, I want to give you some practices and tips you can use to more deeply connect with your partner — or really any significant person in your life. Real intimacy happens when we learn to share our reality and inner world, ask for what we need and stop trying to fix ourselves or our partners. I’m sharing some of the habits my husband and I use to stay connected in our marriage, some of the road blocks all couples run up against and how healing your own wounding can help you become stronger in relationships.   Listen to discover: How sharing your inner world changes your relationship (and how to make this a habit) The art of active listening and mirroring Cultivating safety and making each other feel seen and heard How your childhood wounding affects your relationships as an adult Why triggers in a relationship can be a gift Effective communication and the importance of weekly check-ins   There is magic when we learn to really communicate with our partners and let ourselves be fully known and fully loved. I hope the practical tools in this episode help you start building rituals of connection into your life today and every day!   “Your childhood wounding and your partner’s childhood wounding are magnetic...They are here to help you to see it, feel it, know it and heal it.” - Michelle Chalfant   “Don’t go into stories about what you think your partner is doing and why they’re doing it. You really want to spend time asking questions and sharing your reality.” - Michelle Chalfant   “When you’re sharing and being witnessed, you’re having the experience of being seen and heard.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources Episode #146: Healthy Relationships https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/146-healthy-relationships/ 14 Days To Peace & Balance Journaling Prompts https://theadultchair.com/14days Cultivating Inner Peace Meditation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PKAxhVgOu0   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair https://theadultchair.com The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/ The Adult Chair Workshop - Nashville https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Workshop - New York https://theadultchair.com/events/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com 

As we discuss the rise of domestic abuse during the COVID-19 crisis and the pervasiveness of this issue around the world, I wanted to shed some light on another group of survivors: the children of domestic abuse. Whether a child is directly abused or witnesses the abuse of their father or mother, abuse during childhood can have lasting traumatic effects and shape our view of relationships and the self in unhealthy ways. On today’s episode, we have another brave and beautiful woman, MaryBeth, who has agreed to share her story of growing up in an abusive household. She regularly witnessed her father verbally, physically, emotionally and spiritually abusing her mother while also verbally and spiritually abusing her and her siblings. She shares the way that growing up in that environment impacted her life, even as an adult, as well as her hopeful journey of healing and transformation. Many adults in abusive relationships cite the children as the reason they stay together. I hope hearing MaryBeth’s experience as a child witnessing domestic abuse will offer a new perspective and bring awareness to the way abuse affects families for generations.   In this episode, MaryBeth shares: Her powerful story of witnessing and experiencing abuse for most of her childhood, adolescence and young adulthood The impacts of abuse on her life and her journey of healing The way children take abuse on and can personally feel at fault How childhood abuse can skew a child's sense of what’s normal in relationships Spiritual abuse and the role religion can play in abuse How to break the lineage of abuse The importance of grace and forgiveness for yourself and others   I know you will be so encouraged by MaryBeth's courageous journey of healing, how Adult Chair work has played an instrumental role in her transformation and her arrival at a place of hope and forgiveness. Her story is such an inspirational reminder that we CAN heal, one step at a time, and that there is power in telling our stories, seeing and speaking the truth and offering grace to ourselves and even those who hurt us. If you are in an abusive situation right now, remember that your children are soaking in everything they are seeing. This becomes their model of relationship; we're teaching them what's normal. For those staying for the kids, please consider getting out for the kids. If you are recovering from an abusive childhood, know that healing is possible. There are dozens of resources on The Adult Chair website, including podcasts, meditations, courses and more that can help you in your journey of healing. If you are in danger, please tell someone.  The Adult Chair community (closed Facebook group linked below) is always here for emotional support.   If you need help, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: https://www.thehotline.org/ 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) Deaf or hard of hearing, use TTY 1-800-787-3224 If unable to speak, text LOVEIS to 22522   If you are in an emergency situation, please call 911.   "It's like you're in a warzone, and you're always looking at your back. We were always trying to prevent, anticipate what he might be upset about. But it didn't matter. It was never good enough." - MaryBeth, childhood domestic abuse survivor   "I didn't even know I was a child of abuse. Why would anything be wrong, because I was the one who was wrong. I was the one that was the mistake. I was the one causing his frustration."  - MaryBeth, childhood domestic abuse survivor   "You break that lineage of abuse when you speak up and say, 'No, I'm done!'" - Michelle Chalfant   "If you're in a domestic abuse situation, your children are growing up thinking, 'This is normal.'" - Michelle Chalfant   Resources National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org/help/  Inner Child Resource https://theadultchair.com/innerchild/  The Adult Chair Private Facebook Group (safe place to connect, get emotional support and share your story)  https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ The Adult Chair https://theadultchair.com    Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com   

Studies show that since the start of the COVID-19 quarantine, domestic abuse is up by 30 to 40 percent worldwide. Abusers are using the global crisis to increase their sense of power and control, and women are trapped at home with abusive partners, making them more vulnerable to frequent abuse. This is something that enrages me and that I’m so passionate about shedding light on. Domestic abuse isn’t just a quarantine issue. Far too many women (and men) suffer abuse from their partners daily, and I felt compelled to do something to bring awareness to this topic. I reached out to our Adult Chair community and asked if any survivors would be willing to share their stories of abuse and triumph — and in this episode, I am interviewing two incredibly brave and strong women who are sharing how they escaped and rebuilt their lives after abuse.   In this episode, the women share: Their stories of abuse and the insidious pattern of how their abusers slowly whittled down their self-esteem How verbal abuse can turn into physical abuse Their turning point, when they realized it was time to leave How they left, even without a place to go (it IS possible, and there is help for you!) The triumph and increased sense of self after they escaped Advice for others currently trapped in abusive relationships   This episode is powerful, raw and real, and I’m incredibly grateful to these women for sharing their very important stories. The thing about abuse is that it puts you in a fog where all your energy is going towards survival. Each woman I interviewed shared about her “turning point” moment where she moved from being on the defense into a place of being on the offense, shifting from just trying to survive to consciously figuring out how to get out.  I can’t imagine being quarantined with an abuser, but I pray this will be a turning point for many. I hope this episode shows you you’re not alone and gives you the hope and encouragement you need to know that you CAN leave and you can find a beautiful, empowered, triumphant life after abuse. If you are in danger, please tell someone.  The Adult Chair community (closed Facebook group linked below) is always here for emotional support.   If you need help, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: https://www.thehotline.org/ 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) Deaf or hard of hearing, use TTY 1-800-787-3224 If unable to speak, text LOVEIS to 22522   If you are in an emergency situation, please call 911.   “I stopped at a payphone at a convenience store a block away from the police station. I called the police, it’s almost midnight, and I told them ‘I can’t go home.’” - Kathleen, domestic abuse survivor   “I didn’t have anything, but I had the determination to get out of it.” - Lea, domestic abuse survivor   “I would look in the mirror, and being a faith-based person, I would say to myself ‘God did not have you be born for this.’” - Kathleen   “There are others out there not only that have walked in those shoes, but are willing to help you reach those resources.” - Lea   “Pay attention to how your partner makes you feel. If it feels bad, pay attention...if someone’s making you feel less than or talking down to you, it’s not ok.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org/help/  A Guided Meditation on Worthiness https://theadultchair.com/portfolio_page/a-guided-meditation-on-worthiness/ Episode #139 Cultivate Self-Worth https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/139-cultivate-self-worth/   The Adult Chair Private Facebook Group (safe place to connect, get emotional support and share your story)  https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ The Adult Chair https://theadultchair.com    Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com