Welcome to episode 30 of the Sexology Podcast, my guest today is Dr. Lanae St. John. In this episode, we discussed why it’s important to talk to teens about sex and the importance for parents to create a safe space for their teens. Lanae St. John, DHS, ACS, is board certified sexologist, sexuality educator, and writer. She received her Doctorate in Human Sexuality from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, where she focused on Child and Adolescent Sexuality. She develops curriculum, teaches classes, and works with clients to normalize conversations about sexuality between parents and children.   In this episode, you will hear:   How Lanae became interested in child adolescent sexuality Why it’s important to talk to teens about sex How it’s not always sufficient just to rely on schools for sex education The need for clarity and correct information in sex education Ways in which parents can discuss consent with their teens How parents can help facilitate the coming out process for homosexual teens The importance for parents to create a safe space for their teens How parents support their teens if they are engaging in risky sexual behaviour The importance for teens to not fear the reactions of their parents when discussing these issues   Resources http://www.themamasutra.net MamaSutra@me.com https://youtu.be/oQbei5JGiT8 https://www.ted.com/talks/al_vernacchio_sex_needs_a_new_metaphor_here_s_one http://www.uua.org/re/owl  Phone: +1 (909) 295-2623  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 29 of the Sexology Podcast, my guest today is Deborah Tolman who speaks to me about her research on adolescent sexuality, the double standards that exist between boys and girls around sexuality and recommendations for parents to help their teenage girls through these challenges.   Deborah L. Tolman is a developmental psychologist and the co-founder of SPARK: Sexualization Protest: Action, Resistance, Knowledge. She is the author of Dilemmas of Desire: Teenage Girls Talk about Sexuality, which was awarded the 2003 Distinguished Book Award from the Association for Women in Psychology. Deborah received her Ed.D from Harvard University in 1992. She is also the former director of the Center for Research on Gender and Sexuality, and professor of human sexuality studies at San Francisco State University. Before relocating to San Francisco, she was a senior research scientist and the director of the Gender and Sexuality Project at the Center for Research on Women at Wellesley College.   Deborah is currently a professor of social welfare and psychology at the Hunter College School of Social Work and the Graduate Center of CUNY. Her research on adolescent sexuality, gender development, gender equity and research methods has been funded by grants from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, the Department of Health and Human Services, the Ford Foundation, and the Spencer Foundation.   In October 2010, Deborah co-founded SPARK (Sexualization Protest: Action, Resistance, Knowledge), an intergenerational "girl-fueled" movement building organization (with Lyn Mikel Brown) dedicated to challenging the sexualization of girls by engaging girls to be activists and working with partner organizations around the country. SPARK links academia to activism and demonstrates an alternative to the divisive "wave metaphor" regarding feminism.   In this episode, you will hear:   Details on her research on adolescent sexuality The importance of differentiating teens and young adults in the research How the results and language terminology differ between teens and young adults The pressures teen girls and young women face around slut shaming The double standards that exist between boys and girls around sexuality How young women and teens are pressuring themselves to achieve “the perfect image”   The negative connotations that exist when trying to open up feelings around sexuality The implications eating disorders can have on self-image and sexuality Recommendations for parents to help their teenage girls through these challenges   Resources http://sexgenlab.org https://www.facebook.com/sexgenlab http://www.sparkmovement.orgAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 28 of the Sexology Podcast, my guest today is Dana Nelson who is an American psychologist and counselor living and practicing in Lyon, France (Rhône-Alpes region). In this episode Dana talks about how she became involved in working with inter-cultural relationships, how a person’s cultural background can play into their expectation around sex and the underlying reasons we’re attracted to people from different cultures.   Dana Nelson is an American psychologist and psychotherapist, originally from Northern Virginia, who now lives and practices in Lyon, France. She completed her masters degree and PhD in Clinical Psychology from Penn State University, and worked for a number of years in community mental health as well as university counselling center settings prior to moving to France in 2014. While in graduate school in rural central Pennsylvania (one of the least likely place to meet a Frenchman, you would think!), Dana met her current partner, a French international student working on his PhD in engineering at that time. After 3 years together in the US, they both graduated, and he moved back to France for a job. Then, after 2 years of being in a super long-distance relationship from Pennsylvania to France, Dana decided to embark on her first-ever experience of living abroad and moved to France to join him. They now live together in Lyon, and Dana opened her private practice there last year, where she works with English-speaking expats, intercultural couples, international students, and others living abroad. Dana's most recent adventure has been starting a podcast of her own, called Mindful Expat, which focuses on issues of emotional wellbeing and resilience for expats, intercultural couples, and others living abroad.      In this episode, you will hear:   How Dana became involved in working with inter-cultural relationships The underlying reasons we’re attracted to people from different cultures How modern technology has allowed us to have relationships with people all over the world Sexual experiences; how inter-cultural couples rate their experiences compared to couples of the same culture The need for honest and open communication when in an inter-cultural relationship How a person’s cultural background can play into their expectation around sex Learning to be respectful and understanding of a person’s cultural background when in an inter-cultural relationship The importance of seeing things from your partners perspective Seeing and understanding your partner as their true authentic selves   Resources http://www.dananelsoncounseling.com/mindful-expat-podcast/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 27 of the Sexology Podcast, in the run up to the release of season 7 of Game of Thrones, my guest today is Tamara Powell, LMHC who speaks to me about why as sex therapist she thinks Game of Thrones stands out from other TV shows, the attraction we have to the powerful roles women have in the show and why we are fascinated with sexual war.   Tamara is the owner of Arya Therapy Services, the now global phenomenon in holistic health and healing. She is also the founder Tales from a Trapezoid dedicated to the more raw and edgier side of life, working with those who may often feel like a trapezoid in a world full of circles.   Most recently, she launched her own podcast Undressing The Spirit, where through stories and interviews, she takes listeners behind the veil of counseling into erotic, relational, and spiritual diversity, uncovering how to accomplish mankind’s greatest challenge – finding purpose and passion no matter the worldview or proclivity.  In this episode, you will hear: Why Tamara thinks Game of Thrones stands out from other TV shows How it reminds her of Nancy Friday’s seminal work in the 70’s & 80’s The attraction we have to the powerful roles women have in Game of Thrones Why we are fascinated with sexual war How the show can give you ideas for your own fantasies with your partner Misconceptions about why Game of Thrones is sexually appealing Why the forbidden is attracting and exciting How people are too quick to relate the show to pornography The way women’s sexual desires are represented through characters such as Daenerys Targaryen The sexual power dynamics that exist in the show For more great content please check out https://oasis2care.com   Resources https://aryatherapy.com https://aryatherapy.com/about-the-podcast (Undressing The Spirit Podcast) https://talesfromatrapezoid.com https://www.facebook.com/talesfromatrapezoid http://www.hbo.com/game-of-thrones https://www.amazon.co.uk/Books-Nancy-Friday/s?ie=UTF8&page=1&rh=n%3A266239%2Cp_27%3ANancy%20FridayAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 26 of the Sexology Podcast, today my guest is , who speaks to me about the psychological effects that BDSM behaviours can have, the similarities between BDSM and Tantra and the roles that submissive and dominant play in BDSM.  Amanda Pasciucco, LMFT is a marriage & family therapy provider who practices in West Hartford, CT. She is also the author of "Playtime: Not Just for Children" and she is known as "The Sex Doctor." In addition to her expertise in the field of sexuality, her specialties include couples counseling, eating disorders, alternative relationship styles, anxiety, depression, and ADHD. By mutually establishing goals with clients, Amanda uses coaching and therapy to overcoming current struggles and barriers. Amanda believes that everyone out there has the potential to have an amazing life: personally, socially, relationally, and sexually. She will help make you healthier and happier by assessing your emotional, physical, spiritual, and intellectual life experiences and equip you with the tools to accomplish your goals! In this episode, you will hear: The definition of BDSM – bondage & discipline, dominance & submission and sadism & masochism The psychological effects that BDSM behaviours can have How there is a lot of trust within BDSM The deep level of communication that exists within BDSM Common behaviours that Amanda see’s The similarities between BDSM and Tantra The misconceptions created by Fifty Shades of Grey Ways in which our culture can create feelings of shame in this area Recommendations for the first ways you can start to get involved in BDSM The roles that submissive and dominant play in BDSM The need for negotiation, compromise and understanding when engaging with BDSM How to bring up your interest in BDSM with your partner Why Amanda wrote her book “Playtime: A Guide To Sexual Conquests For Women” Resources https://sexandmagic.com https://www.amazon.com/Playtime-Children-Guide-Sexual-Conquests-ebook/dp/B06X9WM66S/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 25 of the Sexology Podcast, today my guest is Jessa Zimmerman, who outlines some of the most common mistakes couples make in the bedroom! Jessa Zimmerman is a licensed mental health counselor and a nationally certified sex therapist. She works in private in downtown Seattle and specializes in working with couples struggling with issues of sex and intimacy. Jessa earned a Masters in Psychology from LIOS Graduate College of Saybrook University, working through a program that emphasized family systems theory and experiential learning. Upon completion of that degree, she earned a Certificate in Sex Therapy from the University of Michigan. Combining those credentials with many hours of supervision and client work, she earned her certification as a sex therapist through the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT). She has pursued advanced training in approaches to couples therapy, including Crucible™ Couples Therapy and Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT). Jessa has developed an online quiz that helps couples get a sense of the health of their relationship across several parameters. One of those measures is sexual avoidance. She is currently writing a book on the topic of the avoidance cycle and how couples can address the issues that cause them to avoid sex so that they can share a fulfilling sex life.     In this episode, you will hear:   Why she created her quiz; how healthy is your sex life? Healthy aspects of sexuality Jess see’s in couples How couples can slowly lose interest in sex and need new fantasies The pressure of running out of new ideas for sex Deepening your relationship to help increase intimacy The need to be open and able to communicate with your partner about these issues Overcoming unresolved sexual issues that can spill into a relationship Contributing factors that lead to sexual avoidance How porn is sexual entertainment, not education   The need to keep educated about sexual issues Ways in which you can begin to overcome sexual avoidance Developing healthy habits for your sex life   Resources http://www.jesszimmerman.com http://seattlecouplescounselor.com/sex-quiz/ https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Getting-Paul-Joannides-Psy-D/dp/1885535457Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 24 of the Sexology Podcast, today my guest is Dr. Carmen Roman, who speaks to me about she got into the line of work of celibacy, how people live without sex and the unintended consequences of not being sexual.  Dr Roman is a psychotherapist with 25 years of experience working in both Mexico and 5+ years in California. She is known for her ability to create a safe place to help you to explore your deepest feelings and tap into your inner wisdom or get resources to cope with emotional trauma. Using Gestalt Therapy and transpersonal psychology, she will support you to live with awareness and responsibility to create the transformation you are longing for. Her clients are psychologists, counselors, religious leaders, and people in the entertainment industry. Based on Gestalt therapy she helps clients to live with awareness, responsibility and in the here-and-now. Aided by the transpersonal psychology she addresses issues of spirituality, the use of meditation and paranormal experiences. She is a specialist in creative expression in therapy at master’s and PhD levels. All those credentials are a toolbox to her as she tailors them to your needs. She uses the science of psychology as needed in every case. Her focus is your transformation and the improvement in your relationships. In this episode, you will hear:   How Dr. Roman became involved in this work Details on her workshop on celibacy which she has ran for the last 15 years The relation between sexual abuse and celibacy Issues surrounding male values over female values How celibacy means only to be unmarried and not to withdraw from sex How religious interpretations of celibacy have changed over the centuries Ways in which in priests or people of faith deal with celibacy Her thoughts on sexual abuse that has happened within religious organisations The need to not put priests or other religious people outside of scrutiny when dealing with sexual abuse The unintended consequences of not being sexual   Resources http://www.carmenroman.net http://www.carmenroman.net/emotions-in-harmony-podcast.htmlAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 23 of the Sexology Podcast, today my guest is Katherine M. Hertlein, Ph.D., who speaks to me about how the internet has impacted our sex lives, defining compulsivity in relation to pornography and how social media can hinder our real life social skills.  Katherine M. Hertlein, Ph.D., is a Professor and Program Director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Program at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. She received her master’s in marriage and family therapy from Purdue University Calumet and her doctorate in human development with a specialization in marriage and family therapy from Virginia Tech. She is a globally recognized researcher studying sexuality, technology, and its effects on couples. As she examines the role of technology in couple and family life, Hertlein has developed the first multi-theoretical model on this issue. In addition to technology and relationships, Hertlein’s other areas of expertise include infidelity, sexuality, high-risk sexual behavior, child and adolescent therapy, and cyber issues in couple and family therapy. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist, an American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy Approved Supervisor, and a PREPARE/ENRICH Certified Counselor. Hertlein has co-authored 8 books, including Handbook for the Clinical Treatment of Infidelity, The Therapist’s Notebook for Family Healthcare, Handbook for the Treatment of Infidelity, Systemic Sex Therapy, and A Clinician’s Guide to Systemic Sex Therapy, the last revision of which won the 2017 AASECT Book Award. She has published more than 60 articles in the notable journals in her field, contributed over 40 chapters to books, and serves on the editorial boards for several academic journals. She was recently appointed as the Editor-in-Chief of the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy. Hertlein has also won several awards for her teaching, mentorship, and work in the field of sexuality research, including the Integrated Approaches to Sex Therapy Award through AASECT.  In this episode, you will hear:   How the internet has impacted our sex lives The impact of pornography on self-esteem How too much consumption of pornography can lead to a higher and higher need for stimulative images / videos The side effects of watching too much porn; erectile dysfunction Defining compulsivity in relation to pornography How the internet has impacted people’s sexual behaviour and infidelity The need for more people to show their vulnerability How we have our “edited versions” of ourselves on social media Sexting; what it is and the benefits and risks that come with it How social media can hinder our real life social skills   Resources https://www.unlv.edu/news/expert/katherine-m-hertlein http://oasis2care.com/ katherine.hertlein@unlv.edu https://www.amazon.com/Systemic-Sex-Therapy-Katherine-Hertlein/dp/0415738245  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 22 of the Sexology Podcast, today my guest is Joe Zarate-Sanderlin. In this episode, we talk about the psychology behind sexual fetishes.  Joe ZaRAte-SANderlin is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist seeing clients in private practice in San Francisco, California. He has been active in the open relationship and BDSM communities in New York, Boston, and San Francisco for nearly 20 years.  He earned his Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology at Pacifica Graduate Institute in Montecito, California. Pacifica highlights the need for therapists to do their own inner work. As a part of this, Joe has examined the role of the unconscious dark side of the personality, often called The Shadow, in his own life and in the lives of his clients. As a part of his training as a therapist, he worked under the supervision of Dossie Easton, co-author of The Ethical Slut, The Topping Book, and The Bottoming Book. For two and half years, he primarily saw clients in open relationships and BDSM relationships under Dossie’s guidance. In addition to working with Dossie, Joe was a counselor in a Catholic elementary school for three years and he volunteered at a low-few non-profit therapy clinic in San Francisco for four years. His interest in alternative sexuality includes helping normalize some activities that can carry a stigma while recognizing that those activities can sometimes become disordered and cause stress. He has focused on unpacking the shame that many people feel regarding their sexuality. He is also interested in the historical and cultural aspects of relationships and sexuality and he is passionate about challenging the bias toward hetero- and mono- normative relationships and toward binary views of gender. Since he became licensed in 2013, he has continues his focus on working with clients in the LGBT, open relationship, and BDSM communities. He is a member of both Gaylesta and Bay Area Open Minds, two San Francisco Bay Area based organizations that promote and support therapists working with LGBT, open relationship, BDSM, and alternative sexuality communities. He was recently named to the Bay Area Open Minds board as social coordinator. Joe has conducted trainings for other therapists on couples therapy, BDSM, open relationships, and talking to clients about about sex as well as guest lectured about couples therapy on the master’s level. He is in the early stages of writing a book about the role of attachment in open relationships.   In this episode, you will hear:   What sexual fetishes are How sexual fetishes can be healthy for people The more common fetishes Joe see’s in his practice How there could be many more people with fetishes than we realize The role society plays around this issue How people with fetishes can still be aroused without fetishes Ways in which people develop fetishes How shame and guilt plays a big role in fetishes Creating safe spaces for people to be able to talk about fetishes Ways in which to support someone in y our life who has a fetish The need for good communication and engagement   Resources http://www.jzsmft.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 21 of the Sexology Podcast, today my guest is Renelle E. Nelson who is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. She has been providing therapy for over 11 years. In this episode, she talks about what it means to have a low libido, how it’s not a one-person problem but a couple’s problem and recommendations for couples dealing with this issue.  Renelle hails from the state of Milwaukee, Wisconsin and got indulged in the profession of Marriage and Family Therapy in Grad School. Renelle was able to attain the first-hand knowledge of the silenced suffering and agony of women specifically due to lack of education and self-awareness, while working at A Woman’s Touch Sexuality Resource Center. These experiences led her to transition her passion of working for the betterment of women and others into a profession as an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist.   Over the years, Renelle has worked exclusively with a large number of men and women and families who are in need of assistance, guidance, and counseling. Renelle has been able to work in tandem with a great number of her clients and has been able to successfully find the plausible solutions of their problems related family and sex life. Renelle is a self-proclaimed self-pleasuring advocate who is always on the lookout for opportunities to spread the knowledge regarding the many benefits and advantages of self-pleasuring, and self- love with the world. Renelle has spoken at a numerous renowned speaking events on topics regarding self-pleasuring and depression concerned to oppressed sexual life and problems. Renelle is also an owner of Kaleidoscope Services LLC which is a platform specifically made for the purpose of enhancing common individual knowledge regarding these sexual aspects of life and their connection with the issues related to anxiety and depression. Renelle primary objective is to use her remarkable skills and natural talents to enhance, educate, and excite the people life in and out of the bedroom.   In this episode, you will hear:   What it means to have a low libido The definitions of a low libido and what is defined as normal Why you shouldn’t compare your sex drive to what it was like when you were younger Struggles with desire How it’s not a one-person problem but a couple’s problem The need for good communication around this issue Unresolved issues around anger How high levels of stress can affect your sex life The controlling power dynamic How the ideas of being defective can produce feelings of shame The effects of getting sexual information from pornography The difference from having a low libido and being a-sexual Utilizing sexual novelties Recommendations for couples dealing with this issue   Resources https://kaleidoscopeservicesllc.org https://www.facebook.com/kaleidoscopeservicesAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy