Sexology

Welcome to episode 243 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Dr. Kate Balestrieri to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss revenge porn, safety measures we might be able to take to protect ourselves, looking at the psychological profile of people leaking sexual images and the importance of parents to talk to their kids about this issue.    Dr. Kate Balestrieri, Psy.D., CSAT-S, is a Licensed Psychologist (Clinical and Forensic) in CA, FL and IL. She is a Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist – Supervisor, and PACT II trained couples’ therapist. Dr. Balestrieri earned her Doctorate of Clinical Psychology from the Illinois School of Professional Psychology, Chicago, and completed her Post-Doctoral Fellowship though the Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine with a concentration in Forensic Psychology. In over 14 years of clinical experience, she has conducted clinical and forensic evaluations, provided expert witness testimony in court, and been a treatment provider in clinical, forensic, and correctional settings.     The Founder of Modern Intimacy and Co-Founder of Triune Therapy Group, Dr. Balestrieri is a passionate advocate for mental health, relational and sexual health and wellness. In her private practice, Dr. Balestrieri works with adults, individuals and couples, primarily around treating trauma, substance abuse and addiction, intimacy disorders (sex/love addiction and sexual dysfunction), eating disorders and body image issues, bipolar disorder, Posttraumatic Stress disorder, depression, and anxiety. She also conducts comprehensive personality assessments, differential diagnosis evaluations, and screenings for the presence of alcohol/drug addiction, compulsive relationship behavior, and other psychosexual evaluations.     Throughout her work, Dr. Balestrieri focuses on helping people build resilience and recovery from what ails them to move from a position of pain or discomfort to one of thriving, holistically in their lives. In that effort, Dr. Balestrieri works with individuals astutely to help mitigate anger management concerns, establish healthy boundaries, build effective communication strategies, and improve relationship patterns.    In this episode, you will hear:     How Dr. Kate became interested in the sexuality field   Looking around the issues that lead to revenge porn   How can we protect ourselves from revenge porn?  Communicating with your partner about what happens to photos, videos etc  Looking at the psychological profile of people leaking sexual images   How many victims of revenge porn don’t come forward and report it   Is narcissism a character trait of someone leaking images?  Safety measures we might be able to take, E.G using secure apps  Looking at how authorities around the world are putting in legislation to deal with revenge porn   The importance of parents to talk to their kids about this issue   Understanding the consequences of leaking sexual images     Find Dr. Kate Balestrieri Online  https://www.modernintimacy.com     Expanding Imagination Checklist  https://oasis2care.com/erotic-awakening/    Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 242 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Diane Gleim to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss whether it's bad to watch porn, the emergence of ethical porn, how many people fantasize about sex with multiple people, and the relationship between porn and masturbation.    Diane Gleim is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Supervisor practicing in northern California. Her clients include anyone with a sexual concern: individuals and couples ages 18-80 and beyond, and the LGBTQ+, kinky, and poly populations. She treats the many diverse issues related to sexual identity, sexual expression, sexual behavior, and sexual relationships.     In addition to her private practice, Diane’s work also includes training mental health professionals on a variety of topics related to sex and therapy and writing the blog Underneath the Sheets on Psychology Today’s website. She has been voted Sonoma County’s Best Sex Therapist for 4 years. Finally, Diane has appeared in various media including podcasts, her local media publications, and in Mel Magazine, The Buzz by Pure Romance, Quartz, and CNN.com.    In this episode, you will hear:     Looking at the definition of porn   The ambiguous areas of porn   Analyzing the “suspension of disbelief”   How can we create piece of mind for ourselves when consuming porn?   Looking at the emergence of ethical porn   The contributing factors behind people reacting negatively to porn   Understanding it’s ok to like different types of porn   How many people fantasize about sex with multiple people   Communicating your porn consumption to your partner   The relationship between porn and masturbation   Why robust arguments in a relationship can be healthy long term         Find Diane Gleim Online  https://www.dianegleimmft.com     Expanding Imagination Checklist  https://oasis2care.com/erotic-awakening/    Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 241 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss the relationship between pleasure and pornography, how our erotic template fits into porn and analyzing the negative connotations that usually come with porn.    Alan McKee is a Professor in Digital and Social Media in the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences at UTS. He is an expert on entertainment and healthy sexual development. He has published on healthy sexual development, and entertainment education for healthy sexuality in journals including the New Media and Society, Archives of Sexual Behavior, the International Journal of Sexual Health, the Journal of Sex Research and Sex Education.    Katerina Litsou is a senior research assistant and a doctoral researcher at the University of Southampton. She has a bachelor of psychology and a master of sexology. Her current research focuses on female sexuality and the use of pornography.    In this episode, you will hear:     How Alan & Katerina became interested in this field  How porn can be a feminist political act   Looking at the data from various studies on porn  How is porn defined in the research?  Analyzing the negative connotations that usually come with porn   The relationship between healthy masturbation and porn   The importance of transparency and consent   Looking at the correlation between pleasure and porn   How many women feel porn isn’t politically correct   Looking at how our erotic template fits into porn   Analyzing the pros and cons of amateur porn         Find Alan McKee Online  https://twitter.com/profalanmckee     Find Katerina Litsou Online  https://twitter.com/kleechou     Expanding Imagination Checklist  https://oasis2care.com/free-erotica     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 240 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Majo Molfino to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss how Majo decided to write Break the Good Girl Myth, the most challenging myths for sex and sexuality and learning to understand your past and move forward.    Majo Molfino guides women toward more power and meaning through her unique blend of storytelling, design, psychology, and mindfulness. Her work can be seen through her podcast (which features women such as Sophia Amoruso and Byron Katie and has over one million downloads), her book (which helps women shed the good girl myths the patriarchy has imposed upon them), and her leadership program IGNITE.     She also has a Master’s in learning, design, and technology from Stanford University and a bachelor’s degree in psychology with a minor in cultural studies from McGill University.    In this episode, you will hear:     How Majo decided to write Break the Good Girl Myth   How these myths get in the way of having the relationships they want   Looking at the five good girl myths   The most challenging myths for sex and sexuality   Analyzing the myth of harmonies and boundaries   The importance of giving our partners sexual feedback   How 50% of women are not talking about the pain they experience during sex  Learning to be comfortable making mistakes and see what shows up   Looking at the short-term benefits of the good girl myths   Learning to understand your past and move forward       Find Majo Molfino Online   https://goodgirlmyth.com     Dating Anxiety Checklist  https://oasis2care.com/dating-anxiety    Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 239 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Erica Lemke-Pembroke to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss Erica’s journey to getting to her place of confidence, the importance of self-love and self-respect and how you can build your confidence to feel sexier.    Erica Lemke-Pembroke, MA, is a certified life coach, licensed, specialty-certified New Life Story ® wellness coach and sexual confidence coach. Erica has a master's degree in community counseling with a concentration in marriage and family therapy. She also holds a bachelor's degree in kinesiology and a certificate in gerontology. Her desire to work with clients from a holistic perspective has been a driving force throughout her life. Guiding others to connect with themselves: body, mind and soul came from a lifetime of creating this within herself.      Erica became certified as a life coach through Coach Training Alliance, and deepened her studies with a license, specialty-certification as a Mentor Coach and New Life Story ® Wellness Coach. This furthered her studies in neuroscience, strategic coaching and positive psychology. Combining these disciplines with her passion for keeping one's sensuality and sexuality integral to the whole person, Erica continues her mission to helping women become their most sexually confident selves.     Erica is a Californian currently living in Utah. She enjoys intimate conversations about sex, everything outdoors, dancing every single day, creating Haiku poetry and spending quality time with friends and family.    In this episode, you will hear:     A look at Erica’s journey to getting to her place of confidence   The pressure we feel to look a certain way to be sexy   How sexy is more about how you feel than how you look   How you can build your confidence to feel more sexier  Signs to look for if you’re struggling with low confidence   The importance of self-love and self-respect   How does a lack of confidence show up in the bedroom?      Find Erica Lemke-Pembroke Online   https://feelsexyagain.com     Dating Anxiety Checklist  https://oasis2care.com/dating-anxiety    Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 238 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Guy Blaise to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss the cultural differences between dating in the US and France, looking at the issue of unsolicited dick picks and why paying more attention to your partner will get you better sex.      Guy Blaise is an author and Frenchman currently living in America. He lived in Eastern France and Paris, where he witnessed the dating experiences of the strong women in his family and listened closely to the advice his grandmother routinely gave them about love.     After two decades of living in America and struck by the differences between two cultures’ approaches to romance and sex, Guy started writing books offering his insights and started The French Perspective blog.     In this episode, you will hear:     The biggest differences between dating in the USA and France   Analyzing the cultural differences between dating in the USA and France   How we are living in a “Plenty of Fish / Tinder” culture of dating   The social attitudes of men in the USA compared to France   Looking at the issue of unsolicited dick picks   The difference of how American women deal with dicks compared with women in France  How unsolicited dick picks can be red flags for not being good at consent   Looking at the differences between the way French men make love to women compared with American men   Why paying more attention to your partner will get you better sex   Understanding that sex doesn’t start and end in the bedroom   Knowing that no relationship is perfect and requires constant work to keep sex great   The importance of women taking agency of what they want         Find Guy Blaise Online   www.thefrenchperspective.com    Dating Anxiety Checklist  https://oasis2care.com/dating-anxiety    Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 237 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Dr. Marissa Tunis to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss ways in which we can get closure from a breakup, analyzing what gaslighting is and how we can stop the cycle of repeating the same mistakes when it comes to relationships.    Dr. Marissa Tunis is a licensed psychologist, dating coach, and founder of Datefully, dating coaching based in psychology.  She is based in Los Angeles and sees clients across the country who are struggling with heartbreaks, dating anxiety and relationship issues.      She hosts a weekly live-streamed digital talk show on the Meet Me app, Live with Dr. Marissa, which addresses the topics of love, dating and mental health.      In this episode, you will hear:     How Dr. Marissa became interested in this line of work   Ways in which we can get closure from a breakup  How we can learn to heal after a very bitter breakup   How long should we wait after a breakup to start dating again?  Learning to take time for yourself after a breakup   The way in which a bitter breakup can lead to trauma   Analyzing what gaslighting is  The negative ripple effects that come from gaslighting   How many people don’t even know they are gaslighting   The importance of trusting your own judgments and gut feeling   Why do we keep making the same mistakes?  How we can stop the cycle of repeating the same mistakes         Find Dr. Marissa Tunis Online   https://www.datefully.com     Dating Anxiety Checklist  https://oasis2care.com/dating-anxiety    Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio     Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 236 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to welcome Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers back to the podcast. In this episode, we discuss her new book, Shameless Parenting, look at the issue of sexual shame, and give recommendations on how to talk to your kids about sex.      Dr. Tina is a vibrant thought leader around issues of sexuality, intimacy, and spirituality. Her life’s work is centered around rooting out the causes of sexual shame and providing tools that disarm and demystify all the negative messages that we receive in American culture and so often in religious circles. She regularly speaks at events, conferences, intimacy retreats, churches, and universities around the country.     Dr. Tina is a sex therapist, former professor of Marriage and Family Therapy at Seattle Pacific University, founder of the Northwest Institute on Intimacy, AASECT-certified supervisor, mother, wife, and author. She is currently doing work on her next book, which is intended to help parents raise their children free of sexual shame and appropriately teach them about healthy sexuality over each stage of their development.    In this episode, you will hear:     Why Dr. Tina wrote her new book, Shameless Parenting  Where does our sexual shame come from?   How our sexuality is fluid and changes over time   Learning the best ways to talk to your kids about sex   How if don’t talk to them about sex, they will pick up other values and info about sex from online, social media, etc.   What age is appropriate for kids to start being curious about sex?   The difference between self-soothing and masturbating   Teaching the values of privacy around sex to our kids   Recommendations on how to talk to your kids about sex       Find Dr. Tina Online   https://www.tinaschermersellers.com     Talking to Your Child About Sex: A Checklist for Parents  https://oasis2care.com/checklist-for-parents/     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 235 of the Sexology Podcast! Today is a solo episode where I talk about the issues of delayed ejaculation.     In this episode, you will hear:     The challenges overall of erectile functioning   Looking at the time it takes for men on average to ejaculate   Contributing causes to delayed ejaculation   How side effects from medication can affect this issue   The role guilt and shame can play around delayed ejaculation  How we can internalize negative experiences   How masturbation can affect delayed ejaculation  Looking at the frequency of masturbation   Being honest and authentic with your partner  Opening up about your sexual desires and fantasies to your partner   Overcoming any issues of shame and embarrassment   Incorporating sex toys into your sex life   How you can maintain erections during penetrative sex         Sexology Podcast  https://sexologypodcast.com     Tips for Lifelong Erectile Health  https://oasis2care.com/hard-penis-checklist/     Bedroom To Fizzle   https://sexologypodcast.com/bedroomfizzletosizzle     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Welcome to episode 234 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m delighted to welcome Kristopher Lovestone to the podcast. In this episode, Kristopher talks to me about his book, Conscious Cock: The Empowered Sexuality Manual For Men, the role porn plays in distorting our view on penis size and expectations and why women are more interested in men being good lovers than just having a big penis.     The “Einstein of relationships”, Kristopher Lovestone is an ingenious certified sex educator who is breaking new ground in sex education for men and couples.  After surviving six divorces during his childhood he went on to rewrite the rules of the relationship game so that people can actually win.     His ingenious & practical approach transforms people’s ability to get what they really want in their long-term relationship.  Through state-of-the-art communication tools, cutting-edge sex & intimacy education and innovative relational strategies, he empowers people to exit relationship exhaustion & cultivate the intimacy of their dreams with their partner.     His techniques have yielded him a wildly successful 15-year marriage that gets hotter every year, and you can find his teachings in his book, Conscious Cock: The Empowered Sexuality Manual For Men.    In this episode, you will hear:     What we can learn from Kristopher’s book - Conscious Cock: The Empowered Sexuality Manual for Men  Why men are still invested in penis size  How many women are more interested in men being good lovers than just having a big penis   The role porn plays in distorting our view on penis size and expectations   Why good foreplay is more important than penis size  Ways in which you can improve your foreplay   How less can be more when it comes to sex   Understanding that having a big penis doesn’t automatically mean you’re good in bed  Looking at orgasms without ejaculation   Learning to last longer in bed for more fulfilling sex        Kristopher Lovestone  https://www.consciouscock.com/   Tips for Lifelong Erectile Health  https://oasis2care.com/hard-penis-checklist/     Bedroom To Fizzle   https://sexologypodcast.com/bedroomfizzletosizzle     Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy