The GoodHard Story Podcast

Recently I received emails from two people in very different circumstances who were grappling with (essentially) the same question: Who is telling me the story of who I should be? Their messages struck me so deeply because, for the first half of my life, I asked other people to tell me that story. I desperately wanted to please people by giving them the power over who I was and what I should do. Then I was set free by, of all things, a massive stroke. My new physical limitations meant I was no longer capable of pleasing everyone, all the time. And neither are you, whether you live with disabilities or not. So let’s get real about it.  We simply cannot go any further into our conversation on identity formation without coming to terms with who we’re trying to please. My teammate Caroline Young is joining me on this week’s episode of The GoodHard Story Podcast to offer a glimmer of hope (and maybe a big deep breath) for all of us people-pleasers and perfectionists. Here’s what we get into: Discerning God’s conviction from man’s condemnation My honest opinion on perfect church attendance Acting out of guilt versus obedience Identifying the outside influences on our self-image If you want to prioritize pleasing God over pleasing people, this episode is for you! Show Notes: I Shall Not Want by Audrey Assaud - https://youtu.be/e5xEYgGr6ms Star for Jesus and Other Jobs I Quite by Kim Stuart - https://a.co/d/4GnHtlN Scriptures referenced in this episode: Hosea 6:3 *** There's so much more to the story. For more messages of hope, free resources, and opportunities to connect with me, visit https://hopeheals.com/katherine. Follow me in Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hopeheals/⁠ Subscribe to The GoodHard Story Podcast! Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-hard-story-podcast/id1496882479 Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/0OYz6G9Q2tNNVOX9YSdmFb?si=043bd6b10a664beb Want a little hope in your inbox? ⁠⁠Sign up for the Hope Note⁠⁠, our twice-a-month digest of only the good stuff, like reflections from Katherine and a curated digest of the Internet’s most redemptive content: https://hopeheals.com/hopenote Get to know us: ⁠⁠Hope Heals⁠⁠: https://hopeheals.com/ ⁠⁠Hope Heals Camp⁠⁠: https://hopeheals.com/camp ⁠⁠Mend Coffee⁠⁠: https://www.mendcoffee.org/ Instagram⁠: https://www.instagram.com/hopeheals/

If you think your calling is collateral damage in the hurt and hardship you’ve experienced, I understand how you’re feeling. The work I’m doing now looks nothing like the dreams I had for my life. But now, I can’t imagine dreaming up anything better. Today on The GoodHard Story Podcast we’re covering one of my all-time favorite topics: how our limitations—rather than our strengths—invite us to lean into God’s calling for our lives. Give me 45 minutes of your day and I’ll give you a new way of approaching your purpose. I’m sharing how you can… Figure out what your “creative best” actually is Take radical responsibility of your story  Allow your calling to evolve and grow Dream new dreams for your life Find clarity through your boundaries If you need fresh vision for the good purpose in your hard story, this episode is for you. Show Notes: Treasures in the Dark Entry 46: Dreaming New Dreams - https://a.co/d/4n1npsd “The most progress we can make is turning around” - C.S. Lewis Scriptures referenced in this episode: Psalm 16:6 John 3:30 Galatians 6:4-5 Romans 8:28 Ephesians 4:1 *** There's so much more to the story. For more messages of hope, free resources, and opportunities to connect with me, visit https://hopeheals.com/katherine. Follow me in Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hopeheals/⁠ Subscribe to The GoodHard Story Podcast! Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-hard-story-podcast/id1496882479 Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/0OYz6G9Q2tNNVOX9YSdmFb?si=043bd6b10a664beb Want a little hope in your inbox? ⁠⁠Sign up for the Hope Note⁠⁠, our twice-a-month digest of only the good stuff, like reflections from Katherine and a curated digest of the Internet’s most redemptive content: https://hopeheals.com/hopenote Get to know us: ⁠⁠Hope Heals⁠⁠: https://hopeheals.com/ ⁠⁠Hope Heals Camp⁠⁠: https://hopeheals.com/camp ⁠⁠Mend Coffee⁠⁠: https://www.mendcoffee.org/ Instagram⁠: https://www.instagram.com/hopeheals/

How could it be true that God withholds no good thing from those who walk uprightly? I spent years trying to make God’s ways align with my definition of goodness, but nothing ever seemed to click. Finally, I realized I actually needed to redefine what goodness meant to me. It was not an easy process, let me tell you, but it has formed me for the better. My friend Lysa has been on the same journey of redefining everything in a life that has upended every expectation she had. While our pain has taken completely different forms, she is my sister in suffering whose extraordinary character has been formed by hardship, not in spite of it. No one is more qualified to coach us on identity formation than Lysa TerKeurst. I’m inspired and challenged by who she is today and who she is still becoming, and I think you will be too. You do not want to miss out on the goodness and grit today episode of The GoodHard Story Podcast. Here’s just a preview of what you’ll take away: Identifying shame scripts in your life What to do with the things that will never make sense to you Making space for the sweetness of the unexpected Selecting your soul’s board of directors If you’re ready to become better instead of bitter because of your heartbreak, this episode is for you. Show Notes: Therapy and Theology Podcast - https://lysaterkeurst.com/therapy-and-theology/ I Want to Trust You, But I Don't by Lysa TerKeurst - https://a.co/d/2Q6mHfK Lysa’s TikTok dance in New York - https://www.instagram.com/reel/DDTBG8np6mm/ Scriptures referenced in this episode: 2 Corinthians 1:4 Psalm 84:11 *** There's so much more to the story. For more messages of hope, free resources, and opportunities to connect with me, visit https://hopeheals.com/katherine. Follow me in Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hopeheals/⁠ Subscribe to The GoodHard Story Podcast! Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-hard-story-podcast/id1496882479 Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/0OYz6G9Q2tNNVOX9YSdmFb?si=043bd6b10a664beb Want a little hope in your inbox? ⁠⁠Sign up for the Hope Note⁠⁠, our twice-a-month digest of only the good stuff, like reflections from Katherine and a curated digest of the Internet’s most redemptive content: https://hopeheals.com/hopenote Get to know us: ⁠⁠Hope Heals⁠⁠: https://hopeheals.com/ ⁠⁠Hope Heals Camp⁠⁠: https://hopeheals.com/camp ⁠⁠Mend Coffee⁠⁠: https://www.mendcoffee.org/ Instagram⁠: https://www.instagram.com/hopeheals/

I don’t re-listen to my own podcast episodes often, but I’ll be replaying this one many times over. My guest Dr. Dan Allender is a trauma therapist. And if you just assumed this episode has nothing for you, consider Dr. Allender’s words: “All life east of Eden is a form of trauma.” Whew.  So, yeah, you need to hear this. Dr. Allender’s work has been a gamechanger in my life and I insist that you have access to his wisdom, too! He has given me a framework for understanding, grieving, and telling my story, and I cannot think of a more trustworthy voice to speak into our conversation on identity formation.  On this episode, the kind and brilliant Dr. Allender shares… The one thing you can do to take a step toward health Why wrestling with God can be a form of worship How to create the community you long to be a part of If you want support in becoming who you’re meant to be, this episode is for you. Show Notes: The Allender Center - https://theallendercenter.org/ The Allender Center Podcast - https://theallendercenter.org/category/podcast/ Curt Thompson Confessional Community - https://curtthompsonmd.com/the-way-of-the-confessional-community/ Adam Young on The GoodHard Story Podcast Episode 71 - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-71-what-your-feelings-are-asking-of-you-with/id1496882479?i=1000671653634 Scriptures referenced in this episode: 2 Corinthians 4:10 Romans 12:15 Psalm 22:1 *** There's so much more to the story. For more messages of hope, free resources, and opportunities to connect with me, visit https://hopeheals.com/katherine. Follow me in Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hopeheals/⁠ Subscribe to The GoodHard Story Podcast! Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-hard-story-podcast/id1496882479 Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/0OYz6G9Q2tNNVOX9YSdmFb?si=043bd6b10a664beb Want a little hope in your inbox? ⁠⁠Sign up for the Hope Note⁠⁠, our twice-a-month digest of only the good stuff, like reflections from Katherine and a curated digest of the Internet’s most redemptive content: https://hopeheals.com/hopenote Get to know us: ⁠⁠Hope Heals⁠⁠: https://hopeheals.com/ ⁠⁠Hope Heals Camp⁠⁠: https://hopeheals.com/camp ⁠⁠Mend Coffee⁠⁠: https://www.mendcoffee.org/ Instagram⁠: https://www.instagram.com/hopeheals/

It’s 2025, friends. Who do you hope to become in the year ahead? You and I are probably not going to become people of resilience, compassion, and courage by accident. Our circumstances, beliefs, relationships, and decisions are shaping our souls—in both good and hard ways—every minute of the day. I want to understand exactly how it’s happening. And what I can do to create the identity I want. Today we’re talking to my winsome friend Bob Goff—author, speaker, and unofficial spokesperson for belovedness. This mentor of mine knows how to live whimsically *and* strategically, and I am determined to learn how to do it too. On this episode, Bob is sharing exactly how you can… Find God’s one and only plan for your life and mine Start asking “What if?” with HOPE instead of anxiety Become a note taker of your own life (and why it will change everything) If you’re ready to start living like you’re loved (because you are), this episode is for you! Catching Whimsy: 365 Days of Possibility - https://www.bobgoff.com/books/catching-whimsy/ Treasures in the Dark Entry 32: The Habit of Hope - https://a.co/d/3mcRhmK Treasures in the Dark Entry 60: What If? - https://a.co/d/3mcRhmK Scriptures referenced in this episode: Romans 8:19-23 (The Passion Translation) Romans 5:3-5 Hebrews 11:1 Galatians 5:6 Philippians 4:6 Mark 9:24 1 Corinthians 12:12-27 *** There's so much more to the story. For more messages of hope, free resources, and opportunities to connect with me, visit https://hopeheals.com/katherine. Follow me in Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hopeheals/⁠ Subscribe to The GoodHard Story Podcast! Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-hard-story-podcast/id1496882479 Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/0OYz6G9Q2tNNVOX9YSdmFb?si=043bd6b10a664beb Want a little hope in your inbox? ⁠⁠Sign up for the Hope Note⁠⁠, our twice-a-month digest of only the good stuff, like reflections from Katherine and a curated digest of the Internet’s most redemptive content: https://hopeheals.com/hopenote Get to know us: ⁠⁠Hope Heals⁠⁠: https://hopeheals.com/ ⁠⁠Hope Heals Camp⁠⁠: https://hopeheals.com/camp ⁠⁠Mend Coffee⁠⁠: https://www.mendcoffee.org/ Instagram⁠: https://www.instagram.com/hopeheals/

"Hope is not a fixed point I will reach. Hope is the living force that propels me through the ongoing cycle of hurting and healing." In these sacred weeks surrounding Christmas, I want to acknowledge that the holiday season isn’t such a bright time for all of us. These final days of the year can be a painful reminder of what we once had. What is no longer. What will never be. Each week in the month of December, I'll be sharing a short reflection that invites you reconsider your darkest seasons as times of formation, preparation, and possibility. Treasures in the Dark Read Along Starting January 9, 2025, I’ll be hosting a 90-day read along of Treasures in the Dark over on Instagram. Make sure you’re following me there because I’ll be streaming some readings from the book, sharing behind the scenes content, and hosting discussions with all of you. If you want to grab your own copy of Treasures in the Dark, it’s available wherever books are sold. You can find the audiobook on Spotify or Audible. Like what you heard? There's so much more to the story⁠⁠. For more messages of hope, free resources, and opportunities to connect with me, visit https://hopeheals.com/katherine. Follow me in Instagram: ⁠⁠@hopeheals⁠⁠ Subscribe to The GoodHard Story Podcast! ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-hard-story-podcast/id1496882479 ⁠Spotify⁠: https://open.spotify.com/show/0OYz6G9Q2tNNVOX9YSdmFb?si=4e5a0a76749b4d91 Want a little hope in your inbox? ⁠⁠Sign up for the Hope Note⁠⁠, my monthly digest of only the good stuff, like short reflections from me and a curated roundup of the Internet’s most redemptive content. Subscribe at https://hopeheals.com/hopenote.

"Hope is an escape hatch from the what-if loop because it gives you and me permission to live the lives we have. It narrows our vision to work with what’s in front of us. Hope puts to rest all the lives we could have lived and gently reminds us, “This is the one you’ve got. Don’t waste it.” In these sacred weeks leading up to Christmas, I want to acknowledge that the holiday season isn’t such a bright time for all of us. These final days of the year can be a painful reminder of what we once had. What is no longer. What will never be. Each week in the month of December, I'll be sharing a short reflection that invites you reconsider your darkest seasons as times of formation, preparation, and possibility. Treasures in the Dark Read Along Starting January 9, 2025, I’ll be hosting a 90-day read along of Treasures in the Dark over on Instagram. Make sure you’re following me there because I’ll be streaming some readings from the book, sharing behind the scenes content, and hosting discussions with all of you. If you want to grab your own copy of Treasures in the Dark, it’s available wherever books are sold. You can find the audiobook on Spotify or Audible. Like what you heard? There's so much more to the story⁠⁠. For more messages of hope, free resources, and opportunities to connect with me, visit https://hopeheals.com/katherine. Follow me in Instagram: ⁠⁠@hopeheals⁠⁠ Subscribe to The GoodHard Story Podcast! ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-hard-story-podcast/id1496882479 ⁠Spotify⁠: https://open.spotify.com/show/0OYz6G9Q2tNNVOX9YSdmFb?si=4e5a0a76749b4d91 Want a little hope in your inbox? ⁠⁠Sign up for the Hope Note⁠⁠, my monthly digest of only the good stuff, like short reflections from me and a curated roundup of the Internet’s most redemptive content. Subscribe at https://hopeheals.com/hopenote.

"Some of the best fruit in my life will be incubatedin dark, cold seasons of suffering." In these sacred weeks leading up to Christmas, I want to acknowledge that the holiday season isn’t such a bright time for all of us. These final days of the year can be a painful reminder of what we once had. What is no longer. What will never be. Each week in the month of December, I'll be sharing a short reflection that invites you reconsider your darkest seasons as times of formation, preparation, and possibility. Treasures in the Dark Read Along Starting January 9, 2025, I’ll be hosting a 90-day read along of Treasures in the Dark over on Instagram. Make sure you’re following me there because I’ll be streaming some readings from the book, sharing behind the scenes content, and hosting discussions with all of you. If you want to grab your own copy of Treasures in the Dark, it’s available wherever books are sold. You can find the audiobook on Spotify or Audible. Like what you heard? There's so much more to the story⁠⁠. For more messages of hope, free resources, and opportunities to connect with me, visit https://hopeheals.com/katherine. Follow me in Instagram: ⁠⁠@hopeheals⁠⁠ Subscribe to The GoodHard Story Podcast! ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-hard-story-podcast/id1496882479 ⁠Spotify⁠: https://open.spotify.com/show/0OYz6G9Q2tNNVOX9YSdmFb?si=4e5a0a76749b4d91 Want a little hope in your inbox? ⁠⁠Sign up for the Hope Note⁠⁠, my monthly digest of only the good stuff, like short reflections from me and a curated roundup of the Internet’s most redemptive content. Subscribe at https://hopeheals.com/hopenote.

"Suffering confronts me with the question, What is it i want from God? Do i want the gifts, or do I want the Giver Himself?" In these sacred weeks leading up to Christmas, I want to acknowledge that the holiday season isn’t such a bright time for all of us. These final days of the year can be a painful reminder of what we once had. What is no longer. What will never be. Each week in the month of December, I'll be sharing a short reflection that invites you reconsider your darkest seasons as times of formation, preparation, and possibility. Treasures in the Dark Read Along Starting January 9, 2025, I’ll be hosting a 90-day read along of Treasures in the Dark over on Instagram. Make sure you’re following me there because I’ll be streaming some readings from the book, sharing behind the scenes content, and hosting discussions with all of you. If you want to grab your own copy of Treasures in the Dark, it’s available wherever books are sold. You can find the audiobook on Spotify or Audible. Did you like what you heard? There's so much more to the story: Click here⁠⁠ for more messages of hope, free resources, and opportunities to connect with me! Follow me in Instagram: ⁠⁠@hopeheals⁠⁠ Subscribe to The GoodHard Story Podcast! ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠ ⁠Spotify⁠ Want a little hope in your inbox? ⁠⁠Sign up for the Hope Note⁠⁠, my monthly digest of only the good stuff, like short reflections from me and a curated roundup of the Internet’s most redemptive content. Subscribe here.

I became disabled in an instant, but my husband Jay did not become a caregiver in that same instant. No one, like, gave him a pamphlet or anything! He had to learn by trial and error, and the stakes were high. Many of you, dear friends, are in a marriage with a caregiver or care-receiver and you’re navigating what it looks like to uphold a version of your vows you didn’t see coming. I am the first person to affirm what a complex position you are in. After nearly 17 years of this caregiving-in-marriage deal, we’ve learned a few things about healthy conflict, surrendering control, and releasing old dreams. We’ve also made all the mistakes. So Jay and I want to share a little wisdom—and a LOT of encouragement. Here’s what you can expect from our time together on The GoodHard Story podcast this week: The #1 way we “beat the odds” of divorce after a traumatic brain injury What’s worked for us (and what hasn’t worked) in conflict resolution Leaning into non-traditional gender roles in our marriage Deciding to dream new dreams for our lives How I stopped feeling like a burden in my marriage If you’re longing to feel seen and supported in a caregiving marriage, this episode is for you. Show Notes: The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller - https://a.co/d/9P0hVVF Stanley Hauerwas - https://stanleyhauerwas.org/ Hope Heals Camp - https://hopeheals.com/camp Ep. 76 - 5 Ways to Start Believing You Are Worthy of Care - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-76-solo-5-ways-to-start-believing-you-are-worthy/id1496882479?i=1000676043943 Ep. 74 - Unspoken Demands for a Perfect Life with Sho Baraka - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-74-unspoken-demands-for-a-perfect-life-with/id1496882479?i=1000674277593 Subscribe to The GoodHard Story Podcast! Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/good-hard-story-podcast/id1496882479 Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/0OYz6G9Q2tNNVOX9YSdmFb?si=043bd6b10a664beb Want a little hope in your inbox? ⁠⁠Sign up for the Hope Note⁠⁠, our twice-a-month digest of only the good stuff, like reflections from Katherine and a curated digest of the Internet’s most redemptive content: https://hopeheals.com/hopenote Get to know us: ⁠⁠Hope Heals⁠⁠: https://hopeheals.com/ ⁠⁠Hope Heals Camp⁠⁠: https://hopeheals.com/camp ⁠⁠Mend Coffee⁠⁠: https://www.mendcoffee.org/ Instagram⁠: https://www.instagram.com/hopeheals/