CLOSER with Rachel Lim

Chloe Tong opens up about the life behind the roles she is most known for: daughter, wife, mother of five, partner to Grab co-founder and CEO Anthony Tan, and now the work she is building through ACE Team Foundation.In this conversation, she shares how losing her mother young shaped the way she thinks about love and family, what boarding school taught her about independence, and how growing up gave her the freedom to be both ambitious and maternal.We go into the early days of her relationship with Anthony, why it began with deep respect before love, why she quit just two weeks after meeting him to build alongside him, the fights that shaped their marriage, and why they made the unconventional decision to put their marriage before their children.We also talk about motherhood, privilege, service, identity, the pressure of building a family in public, and what it means to create a home that feels steady even when life outside is not. At the heart of the conversation is a question Chloe is still living into: how do you build a life deeply intertwined with others while still becoming more fully yourself?Chapters00:00:00 Getting to Know Chloe Tong00:01:24 Growing Up with the Courage to Speak Up00:03:42 Learning to Hold Love and Regret Together00:05:18 Carrying Forward Unconditional Love00:06:33 Finding Her Voice Away from Home00:07:52 Knowing When Not to Rescue Your Child00:09:51 Learning to See Her Mother More Fully00:11:33 Why Children Don’t Always Need Equal00:14:03 Wanting Both: Ambition and Motherhood00:17:50 Meeting Anthony: A Relationship Built on Honesty00:24:18 Building a Marriage Around Shared Values00:26:27 Learning to Disagree Without Losing Respect00:28:17 Choosing to Stay Through the Hard Things00:31:33 Beyond Titles: Making Space for Every Version of Herself00:34:12 What It Takes to Hold Family and Work Together00:36:17 Building a Home That Feels Like Peace00:38:43 Why Their Marriage Comes Before Their Children00:44:03 Finding Purpose Through ACE Team Foundation00:55:05 Building a Family Culture That Works for You00:56:01 Finding Perspective Through Faith and Family00:57:15 Who Is Chloe Beyond Everything She Does?00:58:04 Learning to Put Ego Aside01:01:52 When Purpose Calls You Beyond Yourself01:03:25 What Her Mother Would Say TodayFollow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/Follow Chloe Tong here: https://www.instagram.com/chloetong/Follow CLOSER here: https://www.instagram.com/closerwithrach/

Hwee Keng Maeder, mother of three and parent of Olympic medallist Max Maeder, explores how to nurture children’s inner compass. They discuss protecting curiosity, honoring a child’s own agenda, and knowing when not to rescue. The conversation also examines real responsibility, natural consequences, resilience, and building diverse sources of confidence beyond achievement.

The word narcissist gets thrown around a lot. But what does narcissism actually look like in a relationship, and what happens to us when we spend too long trying to manage someone else? In this episode of CLOSER, I sit down with clinical psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Ramani Durvasula to unpack narcissism beyond the label: the subtle signs we often miss, why narcissistic people can be so charming to the outside world, and why the people closest to them can have a completely different experience.We talk about what it feels like to walk on eggshells, to second-guess what you say, to give endlessly but feel unsupported in return, and how, over time, you can begin silencing parts of yourself just to keep the peace. Dr. Ramani also shares why we cannot change another person's narcissism, what healthy boundaries and realistic expectations can look like, and why compassion for someone else should not require abandoning yourself. We explore healing, self-blame, healthy ego, social media, and how we can raise children with a stronger sense of who they are.One idea from this conversation stayed with me: more than one thing can be true at the same time. You can love someone and still be hurt by them. You can see the good in them and acknowledge that their behaviour may not change. And sometimes, healing begins with seeing the relationship for what it is, rather than continuing to believe that if we just love better, give more, or say the right thing, we can make it different.Chapters00:00:00 Introduction00:01:26 What Is Narcissism, Really?00:03:57 Narcissism Is a Spectrum00:06:12 How Dr. Ramani Recognised Narcissism in Her Own Life00:08:42 What a Narcissistic Relationship Actually Feels Like00:12:49 Is Social Media Fueling Narcissism?00:15:16 How to Raise Children With a Strong Sense of Self00:19:30 Can a Narcissist Actually Change?00:21:26 How to Stop Blaming Yourself and Set Boundaries00:24:36 The Biggest Myths About Narcissism00:26:12 Healthy Ego vs. Narcissism00:27:49 When Compassion Becomes Self-Abandonment00:30:10 “It’s Not You”00:32:04 Be Their Parent, Not Their Peer00:35:53 What Dr. Ramani Wants You to Know About NarcissismFollow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/doctorramani?stkn=MWcxZXNwdng3YzZteA==Follow Dr. Ramani Durvasula here: https://doctor-ramani.com/

Hwee Keng, a parenting advocate and mother of three, shares lessons from raising children across countries and through homeschooling. They explore discovering each child’s unique “settings,” choosing curiosity over performance, and giving children agency. The conversation also covers boundaries, natural consequences, meaningful responsibility, unconditional support, and raising adaptable humans rather than idealized versions of them.

Before Shanti Pereira became Singapore's fastest woman, before she made history on some of the world's biggest stages, she was a ten-year-old girl who lost a few races in primary school and wanted to quit.That's where we begin. Not with the medals, but with the moments most people never see. Losing both her scholarships within the same week at 22 and sharing, "It really felt like rejection." Getting injured in an Olympic year after achieving her dream of qualifying for Paris on merit, and wondering if she'd even make it to the start line. The unglamorous discipline of showing up on the days she didn't feel like it at all.What struck me most wasn't Shanti's list of achievements.. it was the way she spoke about identity. About learning not to tie her self-worth to success or failure. About protecting her peace. And about choosing, again and again, not to give up when things get hard.At the end of every season, whether it's been a good one or a difficult one, she asks herself: "Did I show up?" I think that's a question all of us need from time to time.I hope you'll enjoy this conversation with Shanti Pereira.Chapters00:00:00 Meet Shanti Pereira: The Woman Behind Singapore’s Fastest Sprint00:01:20 Growing Up in the Shadow of Track and Field00:03:46 The Childhood Lesson That Changed Everything00:05:27 Grounded Advice For Her Younger Self00:06:54 Facing Rejection: Losing Two Scholarships in a Single Week00:09:14 Defying Failure and Choosing Resilience00:12:40 Managing Olympic Dreams Amidst Physical Injuries00:18:09 Staying Grounded: Body Care, Aging, and Reconnecting With Her "Why"00:20:23 Choosing Stillness Over Chaos at the Starting Line00:25:12 Tuning Out Public Pressure to Protect Your Joy00:27:56 How to Reset Your Mindset After a Bad Race00:30:48 The Powerful Advice That Stayed With Her00:31:33 Finding Her Identity Beyond Winning and Losing00:34:23 The Unseen Work and Human Side of Elite Performance00:36:17 Choosing Consistency and Building Unshakable Habits00:37:36 Shanti Pereira’s Definition of a Champion00:39:19 Inspiring the Next Generation of Athletes00:40:13 Sacrificing Her 20s: Choosing a Different Path Without Regret00:41:23 Entering a Milestone Decade and Looking Toward Her Next Era00:43:35 Shanti Pereira’s Recovery Rituals and Wellness Staples00:45:18 The Message She Hopes to Leave Behind00:46:05 Staying True to Herself Beyond the Spotlight00:46:41 Final ReflectionsFollow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/Follow Shanti Pereira here: https://www.instagram.com/vshantipereira/

Most people know Ing as the founder of INGU - the skincare brand that sold out 30,000 units in three minutes with zero advertising. The trusted voice who built a community of millions by doing the one thing his industry often punishes: telling the truth.But this conversation isn't really about skincare.. it's about what happens after you build something people believe in. The weight of carrying other people's trust. The loneliness of being misunderstood. The panic attacks that made him think he was dying. The goodbye video he filmed, edited, and still hasn't had the courage to post.For the first time, Ing shares what was happening behind the scenes during one of the biggest seasons of his life, and how it changed the way he thinks about ambition, happiness and success itself. We also talk about the person who answered the phone from a surgery room when Ing thought he was going to die on the floor of a café, and why that relationship ultimately reshaped his definition of what really matters.I left this conversation seeing success a little differently. I hope you do too.Follow Rachel here:  https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/Follow Ing here: https://www.instagram.com/ingck/Follow Ingu Skin here: https://www.instagram.com/inguskin/

You don't need a crisis to enter a new chapter. Sometimes life is moving along just fine. And yet, you find yourself carrying questions you can't quite shake. This conversation feels especially meaningful to me. Three years ago, Bill Burnett helped shape one of the biggest chapters of my life. Today, I'm returning to his work because the questions I'm asking have changed, and I need that space again.Together, we explore why so many of us feel there's "something more," why life was never meant to be a straight line, and how creating the time, space, and structure to think differently can help us navigate what's next with greater clarity, intention, and possibility.If this conversation resonates with you, Bill and I will be hosting a special CLOSER experience in Singapore on 25th July. We'd love for you to join us as we explore what your next chapter could become.Sing up for CLOSER x Bill Burnett here: https://tinyurl.com/5n7dkdrbFollow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/Visit Bill Burnett’s website here: https://designingyour.life/Read ‘Designing Your Life’ here: https://designingyour.life/books-designing-life-original-book/

Most of us have been taught that the pressure Singaporean parents feel is a mindset problem. That we just need to relax. Stop being so kiasu. The data tells a completely different story.Associate Professor Teo You Yenn spent three years interviewing 92 Singaporean parents across every class background for her new book Unease; and what she found will reframe how you see your own life. Not just parenting. The whole thing.She makes the case that the exhaustion, the anxiety, the feeling that you're doing everything right and still something is off.. none of it is personal. It's structural. And until we understand that distinction, nothing changes.We talked about:Why "kiasu" is not a cultural trait; and what it actually isWhat it means that most parents describe their child as a problem to solveWhy Singapore's falling birth rate isn't a fertility problem - it's a conditions-for-family-life problemThe three quiet costs to our society that nobody is talking aboutWhat the opposite of unease actually is (it's not ease)What stayed with me long after we stopped recording: the way we're living is shaping who we're becoming. As individuals, as parents, as a society. And we haven't stopped to ask if this is who we want to be.Chapters00:00:00 Introduction00:01:36 Meet You Yenn: Exposing the Contradiction of Singaporean Success00:04:02 Defining “Unease”: The Quiet Struggle of Helplessness in Singapore00:05:45 Why “Kiasu Mentality” is Too Simple an Excuse00:07:33 How the System Conditions Singaporeans to Run the Race00:10:48 The Painful Cost of Losing Agency00:12:00 Returning to the Original Dream of Prosperity in Singapore00:14:30 Seeing Our Children Through the Lens of Problems00:16:49 Reevaluating Our Values Across Class Lines00:20:48 The Unequal Weight of Motherhood00:23:42 What Does a “Pro-Family” Society Look Like?00:25:43 Singapore’s Low TFR: A Fertility Problem or a Family Life Problem?00:28:01 Singapore’s Obsession with Finding “Top Talents”00:32:29 Shifting the Narrow Definition of “Family” in Singapore00:34:17 Writing for a Historian 50 Years from Now00:36:10 Finding Hope in a Shared Public Resonance00:39:15 Final ReflectionsFollow Rachel here: https://www.instagram.com/ms_rach/Follow You Yenn’s updates here: https://www.instagram.com/ethosbooks/Purchase ‘Unease: Life in Singapore Families’ here: https://www.ethosbooks.com.sg/products/unease-life-in-singapore-familiesWrite in to the team at [email protected]

Indranee Rajah, senior politician leading Singapore’s Marriage and Parenthood Reset and former litigator, reflects on modern life and family choices. She discusses the invisible mental load women carry. She explores the pressure parents feel long before birth. She examines why many choose quality of life over parenthood and what leading this conversation means as a single woman without children.

Margaret Wang, CEO of GenPrime and Rhea Fertility, is reshaping fertility care across Asia. She talks about making fertility a shared societal issue, the realities and gaps around egg freezing, and why many of us never learned how our bodies work. Short, candid conversations on asking the right questions, workplace support, and why starting earlier can change everything.