Night Classy

Kat & Hayley are sharing these two classic Night Classy Patreon episodes, previously only available at www.patreon.com/nightclassy This double feature is a combo of two substitute episodes taught by our wonderful producer Alec Ogg. Part 1 (recorded in June 2020) introduces us to Forrest Fenn's treasure and the series of clues that sent thousands hunting for it. The first part ends with a WILD twist⁠⁠— don’t google it, just listen. Part 2 is the unbelievable follow-up recorded in April 2021. Share this double feature with your friends who need convincing before they commit five dollars a month for hours of laughter and parasocial entertainment. Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2022

Public executions are a thing of the past, so it’s a good thing we have murder podcasts. Why does true crime slap so hard? Hayley’s here to tell you! Then, grab your Nikes because we’re running for a cure- for rabies! Rabies is so scary it almost makes us believe in God. Thank glow stick Jesus we have St. Hubert’s key to keep us safe.  This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit http://betterhelp.com/classy or enter our promo code CLASSY. https://autisticadvocacy.org/ https://awnnetwork.org/ https://www.sabeusa.org/ Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2022

“Houska Castle: Built By Ghosts, For Ghosts!” Kat tells the mysterious tale of how this nonsensical castle was constructed over Czech Republic’s very own crevasse to Hell. Not even the elixir of life can save you! Next up, Hayley covers Cosmic Watergate aka a big, stinky coverup of an alien crash site in Roswell, New Mexico. The only verifiable takeaway from the Roswell Incident is that face down, ass up is best practice when free falling from an airplane/weather balloon/UFO… But we already knew that.   This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit betterhelp.com/classy or enter our promo code CLASSY. https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2022

Hayley asks the question: “What are girls good for?” If you said infiltrating a psych ward to expose its abuses and catalyze change, you’d be right! Nellie Bly was a glass ceiling-breaking stunt journalist who knew how to pack light and pass as a baby. Then, Kat covers the creepy story of Ketchup king and ghost(??) Danny LaPlante. Danny may not have been tall, hot, and blonde, but he WAS a creepy spree killer who never showered.  This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit http://betterhelp.com/classy or enter our promo code CLASSY. Use promo code NightClassy for 15% off your order at NotYourNanasSoap Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2022

2 in the light shade, 1 in the stinking nightshade! Hope you’re not too shocked by Kat’s lesson on deadly nightshade plants with beautiful names like ~nicotine~ and ~potato~. Because it’s true, toxins could be right there in your pantry, on your pizza or possibly across the street at Chipotle. Next, Hayley has a question: were the Vikings bloodthirsty brutes or were they just blondes having more fun? After a long day of pooping the land, anyone could use a stress-relieving raid, right? Grab your hornless helmet and let’s go on a learny journey!   This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit betterhelp.com/classy or enter our promo code CLASSY. https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2022

This one goes out to the dark angels! Hayley tells the horrifying story of “the pockmarked man” who terrorized Paris for a decade. To avoid being murdered, don’t take shortcuts, never be a young woman, and if you have a helpful, friendly neighbor, just do not leave your house. Then, get your spaghetti colander and pirate costume because we’re going to CHURCH! Kat’s here to tell you how you can have access to a beer volcano, worship a flying noodle monster, and enforce the separation of church and state.  This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit betterhelp.com/classy or enter our promo code CLASSY. https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021

Can’t we all just say mermaids are real and get on with it!? Kat covers the Feejee Mermaid! Ok, so it’s not a mermaid but look at the monkey head sewn onto the fish tail and tell us it doesn’t feel right. And speaking of things that don’t feel right, Burt’s Bees hurts mees! Hayley cannot mind her own beeswax, Kat is pushing 30… I mean, pushing 26, and Ingram Burt Shavitz was so vapid that he walked away from millions of sweet sweet lip balm dollars so he could live in a retrofitted bird coop. We all have our red flags.  This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit betterhelp.com/classy or enter our promo code CLASSY. https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2022

Check if your heart is still beeping... this may be the closest the two lessons have ever coincided! Kat covers forensic body farms where you may get a rigor mortis hard-on from the cat eating your ass. And if that doesn't make you S.I.C.K then perhaps you'll enjoy Hayley's lesson on cadaver dogs! These canine crime fighters can smell a corpse fifteen feet under ground-- which is why we dress them like Sherlock Holmes. What's that smell? Either a dog toy dipped in corpse-cologne or the poop fairy visited us.   This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit betterhelp.com/classy or enter our promo code CLASSY. https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2022

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then parody is a fucking honor. Weird Al Yankovic revolutionized rock with his accordion (because how else does one revolutionize rock?) and normalized calling out our partners for almost buying the half gallon of Rocky Road ice cream, and not the entire back stock. We Stan Weird Al. Next, Hayley talks about taxidermy a lot… But it’s not what you think. This Learny Journey is about outlandish CIA inventions and quickly devolved into a 5th grade Sex Ed class soo yeah, best of both worlds. Cheers! This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit betterhelp.com/classy or enter our promo code CLASSY. https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2022

Inspired by her favorite genre of TV (trash) Kat presents the psychology of falling in love. With shocking revelations like “falling in love feels like being on drugs” and “you’re more likely to experience love at first sight with attractive people.” Next, Hayley covers Bad Bass Ass Reeves (Bass Reeves), the first black deputy US marshall west of the Mississippi and inspiration for the Lone Ranger. Grab your mustache and cup of warm water because you’re wanted daddy or alive! This episode is sponsored by betterhelp. For 10% off your first month of better help visit http://betterhelp.com/classy or enter our promo code CLASSY. https://linktr.ee/NightClassy Produced by Parasaur Studios © 2021