The Look & Sound of Leadership

Tom exchanges emails with two listeners. One exchange addresses issues of personal boundaries in the workplace; the other addresses scarcity and abundance.This Bonus Episode is only the second one in the 9-year history of "The Look & Sound of Leadership." If you like this and want more, tell us. Contact us through the homepage at: essentialcomm.comOr by email at: info@essentialcomm.comThe prior bonus episode -- with two other email exchanges -- is titled "Readers' Letters." It was posted in May, 2016. Find it in your feed. It’s not available on our website. (We’re working on that!)

TED Talkers turn us into engrossed detectives, absorbed in solving the mysteries unfolding before us. But TED Talking doesn’t have to be saved for special events. This month’s coaching conversation explores ways to turn everyday presentations into compelling content that will hold people's interest ... like a TED Talk. If you're crafting an actual TED Talk, use Chris Anderson's terrific book: "TED Talks." I have a nifty 3-page reduction of Anderson's book. Reach out to me at info@essentialcomm.com and I'll send it along. Working to improve yourself as a presenter? The Coaching Tips archive are full of related episodes. Go to: essentialcomm.com/podcast and search the topic: "Presentation Skills."

Authority. It’s a slip-sliding sort of thing, isn’t it? Do we get it automatically along with a title? Sometimes. But sometimes not. This month’s coaching conversation examines both the thoughts and the words that give us authority. The ideas in this month's episode echo motifs embedded in many other episodes. Just a few related Executive Coaching Tips are: Assertion vs Aggression Choosing Persistence Don’t Take it Personally Getting Unstuck The Look & Sound of Self-Esteem Speaking For Yourself Showing Teeth Status Every episode is available at: http://essentialcomm.com/podcast/ Be in touch with us at: info@essentialcomm.com

At work, we often diminish the importance of feelings – our own or those of others. We think, “I don’t have time for that” or “That’s silly.” But feelings don’t disappear just because they’re inconvenient. And, when unacknowledged, their impact can be severe. This month, two coaches discuss the difficulties of managing “the human element.” Related episodes: Building Empathy Building Emotional Intelligence Coaching Your People Compassion During Change Dealing with Emotional Responses

Self-limiting beliefs hold us back. We limit who we are so we don't shatter those beliefs. This month's coaching conversation serves up several strategies to help you push back against those demons. Along the way, we mention "Leadership and Self-Deception," a great book to help you on your journey. We also touch on the topic of "Coaching versus Therapy," something I've been talking about for years. You can find an epsiode about it in the archive. I also mention an interview I did with Eric Cacciatore on his podcast, "Restaurant Unstoppable" episode 298, in which he and I talk about management and turnover and motivation. It was a blast. Check it out. Related episodes: Conquering Fear Negative Self-Talk The Look & Sound of Self-Esteem Thinking Errors Unmasking a Stand-In

Unlocking executive presence requires a shift in behavior. A three-step process is introduced to help you adopt new habits. The importance of observation, practice, and reflection is emphasized for professional growth. Discover how to be perceived as you wish and enhance your leadership skills through intentional change. This journey encourages a deeper understanding of personal and professional development.

When we feel threatened or in danger, an old part of our brains, the one that regulates emotions, hijacks our executive functioning. We say and do things we regret. In the workplace, this can have serious consequences. This month’s Executive Coaching Tip has seven strategies for stopping yourself from getting hijacked. The seven lessons in my conversation with my client, Kimberly, are: Emotional hijacks are real. They happen when your emotions take control over your reason; Emotional hijacks happen because of a trigger. Triggers activate your emotional flight/fight/freeze response. We all have triggers; Your triggers follow a pattern. track them over time and the pattern will emerge. Often those who witness our hijackings know our triggers before we do; The first step to mastering your triggers is to be able to name them. By way of example, two of Kimberly’s were feeling left out and being ignored. Two of mine were feeling ineffectual and fearing a bad outcome. Triggers are personal and are different for each person; Emotional hijacks are usually preceded by a feeling somewhere in the body, most often somewhere in your core; Learning to recognize the pre-hijack feeling in your body as a warning bell can help stop – or at least slow down – the emotional hijacking; When you’re struggling to keep your executive functioning online, you can speak about your struggle. “I’m really upset at the moment.” Or, as Kimberly suggested, “I’m not sure I can make good decisions right now.” Speaking about the feeling helps make sure you don’t act from the feeling. If you want to work on combatting your emotional hijacks. other episodes you can listen to are: Building Emotional Intelligence Conquering Fear The Disruptive Executive – Part Two Dealing With Emotional Responses The Mindful Executive Negative Self-Talk Self-Awareness & Self-Management The entire archive is available to you for free at: essentialcomm.com/podcast

This episode addresses three issues that arise when you’re facing an executive team. First, what meaning are you making about the event itself? Is that meaning helping you or not helping you? If it’s not helping you, change it. Second, how will you address the moment when you need to say, “I don’t know”? Prepare for it. It’s going to happen. This episode has lots of ideas to try. The final issue is confidence and finding your executive presence; the core of every episode of The Look & Sound of Leadership podcast. In addition to the ideas in this episode, you can ask for a PDF that lists 15 related episodes to help you show up the way you want to show up. Send an email to info@essentialcomm.com and ask for the PDF that goes with this episode. I’d love to send it to you.

You can’t be an effective leader if you are not able to have hard conversations that are successful. “Successful” means addressing tough topics in a way that will create change.    One crucial skill to make hard conversations successful is attending to how things are being said. Without an awareness of the ‘how,’ things won’t be as safe as they could be. And if things aren’t safe, they won’t go deep. And if they don’t go deep, they probably won’t stick.   Five other episodes that relate to these skills are: Dealing With Emotional Responses A Difficult Conversation Discussing Difficult Behaviors Handling Defensive Behaviors Three Words You Should Never Say   If you want to dig even deeper into this topic, two books to read are: “Difficult Conversations” from The Harvard Negotiation Project. The authors are Stone, Patton and Heen.  And from the folks at VitalSmarts is “Crucial Conversations.” The authors are Patterson, Grenny, McMillan and Switzler.   Both books are great. Lots of scripts. Lots of insights. Lots of tools.

Conflict on teams is a good thing. Really! Well, it's good if it’s healthy. This month, two techniques to help team members engage in healthy conflict: arguing about what's best for the business and turning hostile non-verbals into dialogue. Related episodes to help with these skills are: Disagree Agreeably Facilitating Open Dialogue Getting Agreement Holding People Accountable Leadership and Listening Resolving Conflict