Crafting Solutions to Conflict

David Tate is the author, along with Marianne Pantalon and Daryn David, of Conscious Accountability: Deepen Connections, Elevate Results. We talk about expanded awareness, deliberate intentions, informed actions, and being responsible for our impact.You can learn more about his work Conscious Growth Partners here: https://consciousgrowthpartners.com/. Connect with David on LinkedIn here:https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-c-tate-780683/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Last week, I was certain – if you looked – that you could find some successes with conflict in 2022. This week, I am equally confident that you can build on your strengths in 2023. For example, it may be that you are quite good at welcoming varied perspectives. Or you enjoy ensuring regular communications – even when there is no particular news to share. Perhaps you are comfortable speaking calmly in a tense group setting and encouraging others to take a breath before speaking out in a way they may regret. Or you can talk privately, without too much judgment, to someone who is about to – or already has – become embroiled in a nasty conflict. You may even be a person who can suggest to everyone that you all could get better at communication and handling conflict. And to make it a priority.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

I invite you to look back on the year and see what you did well, what you did right, regarding conflict. The positives can take a range of forms. There may have been a very good conflict: a situation in which tough issues were grappled with. A little tougher to see is the potential bad conflict that was avoided. A conflict may have been negative – yet less damaging than it could have been. If a conflict erupted that did do damage, did you find ways to repair that? Or to figure out how to avoid that damage in the future?  Do you feel more competent and confident about handling conflict than you did at the beginning of the year? Each of us can find something positive about how we dealt with conflict in 2022.  When we find it, we need to celebrate it.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Stephen McGarvey is the author Ignite a Shift: Engaging Minds, Guiding Emotions, and Driving Behavior. We discuss motivation, the importance of being understood, and the impact of certain words. Plus, I ask Stephen this question:  “Why is this not creepy and manipulative?" Listen to our conversation to hear his response. You can learn more about Stephen’s work and the book at http://solutionsinmind.com/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

Author and speaker John C. Maxwell is credited with coining this phrase: “Disappointment is the gap that exists between expectation and reality.” It’s usually more difficult to change reality than to change our expectations. In circumstances of interpersonal conflict, change is often the key piece in expectation. We should take a moment to look – realistically – at aspects of a desired change to understand what change genuinely can be expected. If we consider our expectations with care – and distinguish them from our hopes and dreams – we may avoid unnecessary disappointment.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/  And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Josh Patrick is a business consultant who has learned from – and continues to learn from – personal experience and work with clients, as well as reading, writing, speaking, and podcasting about the challenges business owners face.Business owners can face internal conflicts – engaging in behaviors that don’t serve them well. I talk with Josh about failing fast and failing cheap, the value of small experiments, and more.Josh’s weekly podcast is Cracking the Cash Flow Code.  You can sign up for his weekly newsletter and learn more about his work here: https://www.sustainablebusiness.co/ . You can contact Josh directly here:jpatrick@stage2planning.comDo you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

When you have an infrequent in-person conversation, think back to it. How did it go? Most important, what can you do now to follow up to improve that relationship? What can you do to increase the odds of positive conflict (creative and collaborative) in the future?If you had a good talk, seize on that! Follow up with a visit, phone call, text, email, or even an old-fashioned letter or card. Mental telepathy does not count. On the flip side, if it didn’t go well – consider reaching out to repairwhat you can.  If you were surprised by how well you got along with someone, perhaps you should share that. Probably the other person was surprised, too. Revisit that fun moment. When we gather in-person infrequently, we can help strengthen good relationships, build new ones, and repair damaged ones if we follow-up soon after – making the most of the time we spent together. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/  And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving. 

Cognitive biases represent shortcuts in our thinking and how we reach conclusions. You can learn about Overcoming confirmation bias in Episode 129, published on June 16, 2021. Managing availability bias is the topic of Episode 143, published on September 22, 2021. And Episode 176, published on May 11, 2022, is about Implicit Bias and the Implicit Association Test. There are plenty of other biases. Today, a few words about salience bias. In this context, salience means how prominent or emotionally striking something is.For example, let’s assume I have a friend who is very easy going – almost always.  Then, one day, that friend skewers me for something I did that the friend feels to be terribly wrong. My view is that I may have made a minor goof (I do make my fair share, after all), but I am not sure I did this time. Salience bias can lead me to build this one incident out of so many into a major blow-up that obscures all the positive interactions we have had -- and can have in the future if the relationship is not derailed by this single and singular experience. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

We are now coming into the time of year for traditional family gatherings. For many years, these in-person celebrations have been the time to tackle difficult conversations and make important decisions. Lots of families are coming together this season for the first time since 2019. In the depth of the pandemic, remarkable lessons came out of our need to shift away from in-person gatherings to online group conversations and meetings.Prioritize human connections when gathering in-person – whatever time of year.  Take advantage of the benefits of periodic, online meetings. That’s especially true when negative conflict may erupt.We are in a time when we can reset for the better – we can make changes that will serve our families better.  And encourage more positive conflicts – the creative and collaborative kind – and fewer of the negative and destructive ones. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.  

Going along to get along can be a good idea – sometimes. When you find yourself giving in – accommodating in Thomas-Kilmann theory – too often, you might stop and think about that. Do you not care about the outcome of a decision? Are you afraid to speak your mind? Are you going to be silenced by your own choice to not speak up? Will you become resentful about always being the one to “sacrifice”? These questions are especially important in the context of an ongoing, valued relationship.We can all get better at handling conflict, including going along to get along when it makes sense – and not doing it when it doesn’t.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/And you can follow us on Twitter @conflictsolving.