Crafting Solutions to Conflict

   https://www.osullivansolutions.ie/ You can also sign up for a free newsletter, view free videos, and get a taste of her book, The Mediator's Toolkit: Formulating and Asking Questions for Successful Outcomes (2nd Edition).Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/  

Our initial reaction to criticism can be exactly that: a reaction more than a response. And it can be black or white.Neither of those things tends to help.Better. Remind yourself that very few things in life are genuinely black or white.Take a pause. Take a breath.  Take a look at the criticism. No need to beat up on yourself or on the other person. View the criticism through a careful lens. One that includes analysis and also kindness to yourself and some grace to the other person. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

In the story of the Angry Man, the Buddha illustrates how to disarm criticism based or anger or rudeness. A young man came to insult the Buddha, but the Buddha did not become angry or insulted. Instead, he calmly asked the man a question: "If someone offers you a gift and you decline to accept it, to whom does it belong?". The young man replied that the gift would belong to the person who offered it. The Buddha then calmly responded: The young man replied that the gift would belong to the person who offered it. The Buddha then calmly responded: "And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me". Although we may be less calm, and might be wise to say nothing, the lesson remains: we don’t have to accept everything that is thrown at us.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

Sam Osborne joins me today. We talk about his book, How to Beat the Imposter Syndrome and Be Confident.  We discuss the need to know your own values, how to deal with criticism positively, and how to believe in yourself when others don’t.You can learn more about Sam’s work and find resources at  https://www.selfworthsam.com/. Sam’s social media handle is selfworthsam.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ 

The mediation process can be tailored to the needs of the participants and the mediator. In fact, the process can evolve a bit over the course of multiple mediation sessions.The process can be focused on a very specific, time-limited, dispute that has erupted. Or it can be all about damaging simmering tensions that are lurking beneath the surface – with no blow-up … yet. Different situations, different approaches. The framework can be structured to the needs and goals. Will we even use the word “mediation”?  In my work, at times the word itself is thought to sound too harsh. Serving the people in conflict well is the whole point. Taking full advantage of mediation’s beautiful flexibility furthers that goal. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ 

When I started way back in January of 2019, conventional wisdom was that most podcasts die out after seven episodes. Now, over six years later, 90% of podcasts don’t make it past three episodes. They say that’s largely due to creators underestimating how much work is involved.  When I launched the podcast, I knew that I wanted to have a voice about conflict. A positive and practical perspective. That's been my goal all along and it will continue to be.  I remain convinced that we can all get more confident and more competent about dealing with conflict. There is plenty of work involved. To me, it’s worth the effort.  I welcome your suggestions about potential guests.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

In mediation, an impartial person helps the people involved to reach an agreement that works for them. Mediation is often said to consist of three main types.Some mediators stick quite closely to one approach.  Others feel comfortable favoring one or another in different situations. The lines can blur in practice more than they do in theory. Broadly speaking, the main “types” are evaluative, facilitative, and transformative.  Transformative is the least well-known of them. A fourth, narrative mediation, pops up occasionally in discussions in the conflict resolution field. Their names describe them well.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ 

Phyllis Weiss Haserot joins me today. Phyllis has been curious about cross-generational communication for decades. She built on her natural ability with education and experience. We talk about the danger of making assumptions, the value in asking good questions, and the importance of continuing conversations. You can reach her by email here: pwhasarot@pdcounsel.com, find her on LinkedIn here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pwhaserot/.Her website, https://youcantgoogleit.com/ , contains tips and insights, as well as information about her books.Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/

Last time, I talked about the virtue of making a plan. The situation isn’t good. Bad conflict is brewing. You have decided that it’s time for a chat.You want this chat to be productive. So how do you set up for success? One way to work through the set-up is to break it down.   Why?  Who? When? How? Where? What?         Excellent. You have made a plan. A good one. Oops.  As plans do, this one is about to fall apart. Something – or a few things – have changed. Now what? You can use the same approach to figure out your pivot.Of course, I have framed this all of this as considering how to set up for a productive chat and then pivot ahead of time.If the pivot needs to happen after the chat has begun, resist any temptation to plow ahead. Give yourself and the other person (or people) a chance to take a pause. Reconsider and then figure out what that pivot should look like. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/ 

Let’s imagine for a moment that you have decided that it’s time for a conversation, chat, or discussion.One way to work through the set-up is to break it down.  Why?  Who? When? How? Where? What? Giving careful thought to the planning process gives a boost to the probability of success. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/