Love and Libido

Have you recently ended a relationship and feel lost on how to begin anew? Have you ever wondered why you seem to be attracting people who frankly, aren’t compatible or healthy for you? Does “the one” really exist, and if so, how the heck are we supposed to find them? My guest, Allison Jayne Ewing is a licensed psychotherapist and EFT practitioner. Surprised to find herself divorced at midlife, Allison realized none of the fairytales she read growing up said what happened when you did NOT live happily ever after. Dazed and confused by her sudden single status, she embarked on the dreaded task of having to date again. Allison noticed she wasn’t alone. Many of her single friends were struggling with dating, and meeting shitty guys while desperately searching for ‘the one’. But, there was a turning point for her, which we are going to chat about today. As a psychotherapist and an EFT practitioner for 25 years, Allison decided to focus on helping other women find healthy available single men who will love and adore them. She has worked with hundreds of women to clear their unconscious blocks and manifest the life of their dreams. Her book “Find Love Again“, is a guide to igniting your inner goddess and finding the man of your dreams. Thank you to BetterHelp, an online therapy platform that has already helped millions, for sponsoring the show. Get 10% off your first month of therapy by visiting www.betterhelp.com/dremily or by using code DREMILY at check out. If you like what you hear, don’t forget to leave me a five-star review. Your positive feedback helps me grow so that we can continue having these engaging, informative, and fun conversations. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow & subscribe so that you’ll be notified when a new episode is released. If you have a question or a story you would like to share, you can submit it at www.loveandlibido.com. You can either email in your story or you can record your submission, whatever is easier for you. We always give you the option to have your voice professionally disguised with our fancy editing software, so no worries if you would like to remain anonymous. Or if you’re loud and proud, and you want to tell us who are as you share your question, that is fine too. We are also collecting story submissions as well. You can follow me across all the social media channels @dremilyjamea. That’s usually the best place to see what information we are looking for as it relates to topics we are discussing on the show. And don’t forget to check out my online workshop, Anatomy of Desire: 5 Secrets to Lasting Intimacy. Visit www.emilyjamea.com/workshop for your free sample. Subscribers can use code HALFOFF for 50% off.

Have you ever wondered how to flirt? What kind of flirting is most likely to lead to a hook-up versus a date versus a rejection? How can you be sure that the way you flirt doesn’t come across as creepy or is viewed as harassment, especially in the post #MeToo era? That was the question from a recent Love and Libido Subscriber. As I was preparing my response, I came across the research of Dr. Jeffrey Hall who has studied you guessed it…. flirting. I decided to reach out to him to answer this important question because I think it’s so poignant. Dr. Hall discovered there are five distinct styles of flirting and each one sends a unique message. We are going to talk all about that and more on today’s episode. Jeffrey A. Hall is a Professor of Communication Studies, Associate Chair, and Director of the Relationships and Technology Lab at The University of Kansas. He was awarded the Early Career Award from the Interpersonal Communication Division of the National Communication Association in 2015. He’s done extensive research on flirting and communication through technology. His award-winning book Relating Through Technology was published by Cambridge University Press in 2020. He has written for the Wall Street Journal and has been interviewed by the New York Times,NPR, Washington Post, Financial Times, and more. and has appeared on the Steve Harvey Show and It’s Personal with Amy Hoggart. Thank you to BetterHelp, an online therapy platform that has already helped millions, for sponsoring the show. Get 10% off your first month of therapy by visiting www.betterhelp.com/dremily or by using code DREMILY at check out. If you like what you hear, don’t forget to leave me a five-star review. Your positive feedback helps me grow so that we can continue having these engaging, informative, and fun conversations. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow & subscribe so that you’ll be notified when a new episode is released. If you have a question or a story you would like to share, you can submit it at www.loveandlibido.com. You can either email in your story or you can record your submission, whatever is easier for you. We always give you the option to have your voice professionally disguised with our fancy editing software, so no worries if you would like to remain anonymous. Or if you’re loud and proud, and you want to tell us who are as you share your question, that is fine too. We are also collecting story submissions as well. You can follow me across all the social media channels @dremilyjamea. That’s usually the best place to see what information we are looking for as it relates to topics we are discussing on the show. And don’t forget to check out my online workshop, The Five Sex Languages: Secrets to Long-Lasting Intimacy. Visit www.emilyjamea.com/workshop for your free sample. Subscribers can use code HALFOFF for 50% off.

Do you or your partner suffer from erectile dysfunction? Are you considering treatment options like testosterone or injects? Maybe you’re struggling with premature or delayed ejaculation and want to know what might help. That’s the topic of today’s episode. I am so thrilled to welcome back renowned urologist, Dr. Jonathan Clavell. If you have a question or a story you would like to share, you can submit it at loveandlibido.com. You can either email in your story or you can record your submission, whatever is easier for you. We always give you the option for us to disguise your voice with our fancy editing software, so no worries there if you would like to remain anonymous. Or if you’re loud and proud, and you want to tell us who are as you share your question, that is fine too. You can follow me across all the social media channels @dremilyjamea. That’s usually the best place to see what information we are looking for as it relates to topics we are discussing on the show. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow & subscribe so that you’ll be notified when a new episode is released. If you like what you’re hearing, don’t forget to leave me a five-star review. Your positive feedback helps me grow so that we can continue having these engaging, informative, and fun conversations. And don’t forget to check out my online workshop, The Five Sex Languages: Secrets to Long-Lasting Intimacy. Visit www.emilyjamea.com/workshop for your free sample. Subscribers can use code HALFOFF for 50% off the full price of the workshops.

Have you ever wondered how often most people have sex per month? What about how to start a threesome? Well, we are going to tackle that and more in today’s Q&A episode. You guys submit such great questions, and I want to thank you so much for being so vulnerable. It’s not always easy to put this stuff out there. We’ve got a nice variety today. In addition to the “how often should I be having sex question” and “how to start a threesome question,” I’m also going to answer one new father’s question about how to support his wife in rediscovering her libido since having a baby 6 months ago. 16:41 Question 2 – What is a healthy number of times to have sex per month? 26:06 Question 3 – What is the best way to start a threesome? If you like what you hear, don't forget to leave me a five-star review. Your positive feedback helps me grow so that we can continue having these engaging, informative, and fun conversations. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow & subscribe so that you’ll be notified when a new episode is released. If you have a question or a story you would like to share, you can submit it at www.loveandlibido.com. You can either email in your story or you can record your submission, whatever is easier for you. We always give you the option to have your voice professionally disguised with our fancy editing software, so no worries if you would like to remain anonymous. Or if you’re loud and proud, and you want to tell us who are as you share your question, that is fine too. We are also collecting story submissions as well. You can follow me across all the social media channels @dremilyjamea. That’s usually the best place to see what information we are looking for as it relates to topics we are discussing on the show. And don't forget to check out my online workshop, The Five Sex Languages: Secrets to Long-Lasting Intimacy. Visit www.emilyjamea.com/workshop for your free sample. Subscribers can use code HALFOFF for 50% off.

People are so focused on increasing their desire for sex that they forget one simple fact… you’re only going to desire sex if you’re having good sex! So what can we do to improve sexual satisfaction? Today I’m joined by a sexpert who conducted a huge research study that examines just that. We are going to chat about what she discovered to be the most important predictors of sexual satisfaction. Get your pen and paper ready, because you’re going to want to take notes! Dr. Tara is a sex and relationship expert, award-winning researcher, and professor of sexual communication. She has her Ph.D. in human communication and received her tenure at the age of 33, now working as a professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton. Additionally, she is a sexual communication and relationship coach at LuvBites and host of the Luvbites by Dr. Tara podcast, which focuses on sexual wellness and sexploration. Her expertise has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, and Insider, among others. Her 2019 TEDx Talk entitled Become Sexually Powerful highlights her 5,000-participant study examining predictors of sexual satisfaction, and her journey from an anxious immigrant from Thailand to a confident sexpert. I am so thrilled to have her on the show today! If you have a question or a story you would like to share, you can submit it at loveandlibido.com. You can either email in your story or you can record your submission, whatever is easier for you. We always give you the option for us to disguise your voice with our fancy editing software, so no worries there if you would like to remain anonymous. Or if you’re loud and proud, and you want to tell us who are as you share your question, that is fine too. You can follow me across all the social media channels @dremilyjamea. That’s usually the best place to see what information we are looking for as it relates to topics we are discussing on the show. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow & subscribe so that you’ll be notified when a new episode is released. If you like what you’re hearing, don’t forget to leave me a five-star review. Your positive feedback helps me grow so that we can continue having these engaging, informative, and fun conversations. And don’t forget to check out my online workshop, The Five Sex Languages: Secrets to Long-Lasting Intimacy. Visit www.emilyjamea.com/workshop for your free sample. Subscribers can use code HALFOFF for 50% off the full price of the workshops.

I am happy to report that Q&A episodes are back! It’s been a while since I’ve recorded one, but you guys have been sending in such great questions I just had to get some of them answered and we’ve got some good ones today. I am going to help a guy who is feeling stuck about how to help his wife enjoy sex more, then I have two more questions about desire but on opposite ends. One person worries they don’t desire sex enough while the other worries he desires sex too much. So, without further ado, let’s dive in! If you like what you’re hearing, don’t forget to leave me a five-star review. Your positive feedback helps me grow so that we can continue having these engaging, informative, and fun conversations. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow & subscribe so that you’ll be notified when a new episode is released. If you have a question or a story you would like to share, you can submit it at www.loveandlibido.com. You can either email in your story or you can record your submission, whatever is easier for you. We always give you the option to have your voice professionally disguised with our fancy editing software, so no worries if you would like to remain anonymous. Or if you’re loud and proud, and you want to tell us who are as you share your question, that is fine too. We are also collecting story submissions as well. You can follow me across all the social media channels @dremilyjamea. That’s usually the best place to see what information we are looking for as it relates to topics we are discussing on the show. And don’t forget to check out my online workshop, The Five Sex Languages: Secrets to Long-Lasting Intimacy. Visit www.emilyjamea.com/workshop for your free sample. Subscribers can use code HALFOFF for 50% off.

If you are a penis owner or a partner of a penis owner, you need to listen to today’s episode. Erectile dysfunction can affect even the most confident men. Unfortunately, the penis does not have an on/off switch. Anything from stress, health issues, relationship conflict, or having too much to drink can cause problems. Chances are, most of my male listeners have been there at some point in their lives. But what do you do when the anxiety becomes so great that your erectile function totally goes out the window? If therapy doesn’t help, what medical interventions are available? Could a penile implant be right for you? That’s the topic of today’s episode. Today, I am joined by Dr. Jonathan Clavell, a board-certified urologist practicing in downtown Houston. He is fellowship-trained in sexual medicine and an Adjunct Assistant Professor in Surgery for the University of Texas in Houston – Division of Urology. You can learn more about him by visiting his website or Instagram. Today’s episode is sponsored by BetterHelp, an online therapy platform that has already helped millions. Get 10% off your first month of therapy by visiting www.betterhelp.com/dremily or using code DREMILY at checkout. If you have a question or a story you would like to share, you can submit it at loveandlibido.com. You can either email in your story or you can record your submission, whatever is easier for you. We always give you the option for us to disguise your voice with our fancy editing software, so no worries there if you would like to remain anonymous. Or if you’re loud and proud, and you want to tell us who are as you share your question, that is fine too. You can follow me across all the social media channels @dremilyjamea. That’s usually the best place to see what information we are looking for as it relates to topics we are discussing on the show. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow & subscribe so that you’ll be notified when a new episode is released. If you like what you’re hearing, don’t forget to leave me a five-star review. Your positive feedback helps me grow so that we can continue having these engaging, informative, and fun conversations. And don’t forget to check out my online workshop, The Five Sex Languages: Secrets to Long-Lasting Intimacy. Visit www.emilyjamea.com/workshop for your free sample. Subscribers can use code HALFOFF for 50% off the full price of the workshops.

 Are you someone whose past sexual trauma is preventing you from enjoying sex at your full capacity? Do you even know what your full capacity is or have you like so many people accepted mediocre sex as your norm? Today, we're going to talk about how reclaiming, reconnecting, and rediscovering vital parts of yourself can propel you out of trauma and into sexual pleasure. Kim Coffin is a certified Trauma Informed, Somatic (body-based) Empowerment & Sexuality Coach, Bestselling Author & Teacher, a graduate of Layla Martin’s Institute of Integrated Tantric Sexuality, and founder of Get Your Sexy Back. She specializes in Sexuality, Tantric Sex and Relationship Transformation giving you the tools to unleash your sexual confidence and unlock profound new levels of self-love, pleasure, empowerment, and intimacy with yourself – and in your relationships! By creating deep trust and safety in your body and mind, Kim will show you how to RECONNECT to your body, ACTIVATE your turn-on, HEAL heartbreak & shame, and RECLAIM your true SEXY self so that you can fully step into your UNAPOLOGETIC POWER!  A gift for the love & libido listeners:  Free – 8 Tools to Activate Your Turn-On + Practice + Free Month to my Sacred Pleasure Membership – https://view.flodesk.com/pages/63d4adadecc6781900626c2d You can get more from Kim here: Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=569755109 Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/get_your_sexy_back_coach/ Get Your Sexy Back Podcast – https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/get-your-sexy-back/id1489475566 Thank you to BetterHelp, an online therapy platform that has already helped millions, for sponsoring the show. Get 10% off your first month of therapy by visiting www.betterhelp.com/dremily or by using code DREMILY at check out. If you like what you hear, don't forget to leave me a five-star review. Your positive feedback helps me grow so that we can continue having these engaging, informative, and fun conversations. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow & subscribe so that you’ll be notified when a new episode is released. If you have a question or a story you would like to share, you can submit it at www.loveandlibido.com. You can either email in your story or you can record your submission, whatever is easier for you. We always give you the option to have your voice professionally disguised with our fancy editing software, so no worries if you would like to remain anonymous. Or if you’re loud and proud, and you want to tell us who are as you share your question, that is fine too. We are also collecting story submissions as well. You can follow me across all the social media channels @dremilyjamea. That’s usually the best place to see what information we are looking for as it relates to topics we are discussing on the show. And don't forget to check out my online workshop, Anatomy of Desire: 5 Secrets to Lasting Intimacy. Visit www.emilyjamea.com/workshop for your free sample. Subscribers can use code HALFOFF for 50% off.

We have two excellent questions to discuss on today’s episode. The first comes from a stroke survivor who is feeling frustrated and sad that her partner is uninterested in sex since her stroke despite her incredible recovery. I love this question because there are so many great lessons on adaptability that I’m going to be chatting about. Whether you have a chronic illness or not, adaptability is one of the most important sexual skills, so stay tuned. Then we’ll turn our attention to a woman who finds it impossible to reach climax when she has sex with her boyfriend. Listen to hear what’s going on and my advice on what she should do. Thank you to BetterHelp, an online therapy platform that has already helped millions, for sponsoring the show. Get 10% off your first month of therapy by visiting www.betterhelp.com/dremily or by using code DREMILY at check out. If you like what you’re hearing, don’t forget to leave me a five-star review. Your positive feedback helps me grow so that we can continue having these engaging, informative, and fun conversations. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow & subscribe so that you’ll be notified when a new episode is released. If you have a question or a story you would like to share, you can submit it at www.loveandlibido.com. You can either email in your story or you can record your submission, whatever is easier for you. We always give you the option to have your voice professionally disguised with our fancy editing software, so no worries if you would like to remain anonymous. Or if you’re loud and proud, and you want to tell us who are as you share your question, that is fine too. We are also collecting story submissions as well. You can follow me across all the social media channels @dremilyjamea. That’s usually the best place to see what information we are looking for as it relates to topics we are discussing on the show. And don’t forget to check out my online workshop, The Five Sex Languages: Secrets to Long-Lasting Intimacy. Visit www.emilyjamea.com/workshop for your free sample. Subscribers can use code HALFOFF for 50% off.

We have two great questions we’re going to tackle in today’s episode. The first is a recorded submission from a woman who’s feeling a little uninspired and bored in her relationship. She thinks her boyfriend is a wonderful person but is struggling because he no longer motivates or excites her. Our second question comes from someone who is struggling to match her partner’s high libido. Desire discrepancy issues are so common, and I’m going to chat all about it on today’s show. Thank you to BetterHelp, an online therapy platform that has already helped millions, for sponsoring the show. Get 10% off your first month of therapy by visiting www.betterhelp.com/dremily or by using code DREMILY at check out. If you like what you’re hearing, don’t forget to leave me a five-star review. Your positive feedback helps me grow so that we can continue having these engaging, informative, and fun conversations. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow & subscribe so that you’ll be notified when a new episode is released. If you have a question or a story you would like to share, you can submit it at www.loveandlibido.com. You can either email in your story or you can record your submission, whatever is easier for you. We always give you the option to have your voice professionally disguised with our fancy editing software, so no worries if you would like to remain anonymous. Or if you’re loud and proud, and you want to tell us who are as you share your question, that is fine too. We are also collecting story submissions as well. You can follow me across all the social media channels @dremilyjamea. That’s usually the best place to see what information we are looking for as it relates to topics we are discussing on the show. And don’t forget to check out my online workshop, The Five Sex Languages: Secrets to Long-Lasting Intimacy. Visit www.emilyjamea.com/workshop for your free sample. Subscribers can use code HALFOFF for 50% off.