

Nope! We're Not Monogamous
Ellecia Paine
Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (Enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, tantra and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Jul 25, 2024 • 45min
Navigating Consent and Pleasure in Non-Monogamy with Jamie Love
This episode gives you a peek into the remarkable journey of Jamie Love, from a conservative religious background to leading a thriving, international sex-positive community, Sex Positive World. You'll hear how Jamie fosters spaces where people can explore intimacy and sexuality openly and shame-free.Key Discussion Points:The Power of Consent in Everyday Life: We explore the power of small consent practices like cuddle parties and massage nights for fostering healthy connections and healing pleasure disconnects.Creating Safe Spaces for Exploration: Discover how Sex Positive World's legendary Hawaiian retreats create environments where people feel truly safe, seen, and free to reach new depths of pleasure and connection.Building Healthy Relationships: We delve into Sex Positive World's orientation classes, where participants practice setting boundaries, saying no, and having those crucial (but sometimes awkward) conversations. Learn how Jamie emphasizes real transformation through supportive community.Exploring Non-Monogamy: Whether you're curious about ethical non-monogamy or simply looking for a supportive community, this episode is for you!In This Episode, You Will Learn:The benefits of joining sex-positive communities.How to ethically explore non-monogamy.Tips for hosting inclusive massage parties.Strategies for building a culture of consent in your relationships.About the Polytopia Conference (where I’ll be a guest speaker) https://www.sexpositiveportland.org/events/9504 Meet Our Guest: Jamie LoveJamie Love is the Executive Director of Sex Positive World (https://www.sexpositiveworld.org/), a global organization dedicated to spreading inclusive radical sex positivity and empowering individuals to build their own sex-positive communities. A self-identified ethical slut and non-monogamous person, Jamie teaches workshops ranging from relationship discussions to cuddle parties, massage-a-trois, and self-pleasure circles.Send us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark! Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Jul 11, 2024 • 51min
Polyamorous Elders: Planning for Your Future
Intrigued by polyamory but unsure how it translates to long-term relationships? Especially as we age?Today, we're venturing into the world of thriving polyamory in your golden years. Joining us is the amazing Kathy Labriola, a therapist, nurse, and author who's been living the poly life for 50 years! Kathy is author of four books on consensual nonmonogamy: Love in Abundance: A Counselor's Advice on Open Relationships, One of my fav's , The Jealousy Workbook, The Polyamory Break-up Book: Causes, Survival.Kathy's new book, "Polyamorous Elders," tackles the unique joys and challenges of navigating polyamory as we mature. We'll be diving deep into communication, legal considerations, and even keeping your sex life sizzling!Whether you're a seasoned polyamorist or curious newcomer, this episode offers invaluable insights for building strong, fulfilling connections as you age.Get ready to learn about:The surprising benefits of polyamory for older adults.Essential communication tools to avoid misunderstandings.Strategies for navigating jealousy in poly relationships.Planning for your future, legally and financially.And fostering new forms of intimacy as your life changes.Ready to explore the vibrant world of polyamory at any age? Buckle up and join our conversation with Kathy Labriola!For more from Kathy, visit her website atwww.kathylabriola.comLet's get started!Send us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark! Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Jun 27, 2024 • 1h 11min
The Alchemy of Pleasure: Transforming Relationships with Sasha and Moritz
Let's be real: navigating ethical non-monogamy (ENM) can be thrilling, confusing, and sometimes downright messy. But no worries! We've got power couple Sasha and Moritz on deck to spill the tea on building a strong ENM connection.With refreshing candor, they peel back the layers on cultivating extraordinary intimacy. You'll discover practical strategies for courageously expressing desires, setting boundaries, and managing the inevitable ups and downs with grace. Their approach transcends relationship structures, providing a roadmap for deeper vulnerability and growth within yourself and your connections.Here are just a few of the invaluable gems you'll gain:Powerful communication techniques to foster trust and understandingMindset shifts to take full responsibility for your emotionsReframing jealousy as a gateway to intimacy instead of a roadblockUsing sex as a sacred practice to accelerate personal evolutionStaying true to your authentic self amidst societal pressuresAnd don't forget to check out Sasha and Moritz's website, Kerkmann Hood Coaching https://www.kerkmannhoodcoaching.com/ to learn more about their work and explore the world of passionate, non-monogamous relationships.Send us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark! Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Jun 13, 2024 • 1h 2min
First Date Fun: Navigating Non-Monogamy with Humor and Insight
First dates in the non-monogamous world? We've got you covered!Join Ellecia and Danny for a hilarious and informative exploration of navigating this unique dating scene. From conversation starters (forget the weather!) to open communication, this episode equips you with the tools to feel confident and empowered.What to expect:Break the ice with questions that spark real connections: Learn how to ask engaging questions about someone's journey into non-monogamy and their existing relationships.Ditch the "what do you do?" routine: Learn thought-provoking questions that spark genuine connection and go beyond the surface.Our not-so-perfect dating moments (Waterworld, anyone?): Laugh along as Ellecia and Danny share their personal dating mishaps, proving you're not alone in the awkwardness.Rejection stinks, but you won't: How to handle the inevitable "no" with grace and bounce back stronger.Boundaries & Polycule Talk: Tips for navigating important topics without the awkwardness.Laugh-out-loud stories: Ellecia and Danny share relatable anecdotes that will leave you nodding along (and maybe snorting a little).This episode is your one-stop shop for making non-monogamous dating fun, fulfilling, and full of laughter.Want More?Want to become a master of navigating conversations about ethical non-monogamy? Download your free copy of my ebook, Let's Talk About It: Your Guide to Ethically Non-monogamous Conversations! This comprehensive guide provides even more in-depth strategies, conversation prompts, and practical tips to ensure your non-monogamous relationships thrive.Send us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark! Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

May 30, 2024 • 1h 6min
From Strict Religion to Ceremonial Celebrations: Dan's Story
Imagine growing up in a world where love had strict rules, only to break free and discover endless possibilities. This is the story of Dan and Jennie, a married couple who defied societal norms to embrace ethical non-monogamy.For over 30 years, Dan and Jennie have navigated the challenges of leaving behind their conservative religious roots and exploring swinging and polyamory. In this honest and heartfelt conversation, Dan shares their journey, from dealing with shame and judgment to tackling the emotional rollercoaster of jealousy and breakups. His insights give us a rare look into the highs and lows of living life on their own terms.Here’s what you can expect from this inspiring episode:Letting Go of Old Beliefs: Discover strategies for shedding outdated beliefs and building real connections.Effective Communication and Boundaries: Learn how to communicate better and set healthy boundaries in non-monogamous relationships.Managing Triggers and Embracing Vulnerability: Get practical tips for handling emotional triggers, embracing vulnerability, and focusing on personal growth.Redefining Love and Sexuality: Gain a fresh perspective on love, sexuality, and the freedom to design relationships that reflect your true values.With honesty and hard-earned wisdom, Dan dives into the transformative power of confronting personal traumas, embracing all parts of oneself, and living authentically. Whether you’re experienced in non-monogamy or just curious about different relationship structures, this episode is a must-listen. It’s a powerful reminder that love has no limits.Join me, Ellecia, and Dan on this eye-opening journey, and find the courage to create a life that’s full, passionate, and true to yourself.Want to connect with Dan? email watersedgeceremonies@gmail.comSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark! Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

May 16, 2024 • 46min
Unpacking the Relationship Escalator: Lessons from 2 Decades of Ethical Non-Monogamy
What if everything you thought you knew about relationships was wrong? Our guest today has been openly non-monogamous for over 20 years, challenging assumptions about love and intimacy every step of the way. Get ready to question societal rules and create connections that actually work for you.Over the past two decades, Brandon has navigated the intricacies of open relationships and ethical non-monogamy. He shares his journey - one filled with hard-won lessons on communication, self-awareness, and letting go of expectations. Brandon explains key concepts like relationship anarchy and the "relationship escalator" in plain terms anyone can understand. He's painfully honest about handling jealousy, avoiding common pitfalls, and why you must know yourself before inviting others into an open dynamic. Tune into this taboo-busting episode to: The Art of Communication: Brandon will share how he helps people improve their conversation skills to better manage new relationship energy (NRE).Self-Discovery and Emotional Intelligence: We'll talk about the importance of understanding yourself to better navigate the complexities of polyamorous relationships.Breaking Free from Social Expectations: Brandon will discuss how stepping outside conventional relationship models can lead to more authentic connections.What part of Brandon's story are you curious about? Have you faced similar challenges in non-monogamy? I'd love to hear your experiences, so feel free to share! Send us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark! Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

May 2, 2024 • 47min
No Rules Polyamory: Exploring Pleasure, Tantra and Sex Magic
Can sex magic really help you manifest your desires and enhance pleasure? In this candid conversation with Lona, a neo-tantra teacher and sexual bliss coach, we unravel the mysteries behind this esoteric practice. Lona shares her personal journey into non-monogamy, kink, and somatic therapy as gateways to deeper fulfillment. We explore the challenges of her transition from a decade in a monogamous relationship to forging her own path of "no rules" polyamory. Lona explains how she discovered tantra while studying witchcraft, and became fascinated by its power to merge sexuality and spirituality. She offers insight into missteps within past relationships, and how those experiences ultimately strengthened her connections. Lona also discusses techniques for moving beyond trauma triggers using the wisdom of the body over that of the mind. By tuning in you’ll: Gain perspective into a teacher's evolution with non-monogamy and polyamoryLearn foundational concepts of neo-tantra, sex magic, somatic therapyPick up strategies for communicating needs and embracing vulnerability in relationshipsFind inspiration to explore your most authentic sexual and spiritual self Join us for an eye-opening, taboo-busting conversation that will teach you how to unlock the magical power of pleasure. Hit play now to start manifesting your desires. Want to Connect with Lona?www.lonateachesbliss.comSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark! Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Apr 18, 2024 • 60min
Beyond Fairy Tales: Real Connection Strategies Unveiled
Today, we're challenging everything you thought you knew about love with Adam Lyons, a world-renowned dating coach and psychology expert who's turning traditional views on their head.Adam argues that love isn't just an emotion; it's actually deeply rooted in science, specifically tied to the chemical oxytocin. He'll share how understanding the triggers of attachment, attraction, and happiness can completely transform the way we approach dating and relationships.Adam has a fascinating journey into polyamory and a rich background in both psychology and business, and hes outspoken in his desire to reshape our understanding of romantic relationships. Living in a polyamorous throuple and raising a family within this dynamic has given him a unique perspective on love's complexities. Today, he's here to debunk the myths we've been fed—from fairy tales to Hollywood romances—and to offer practical advice for navigating love in today's world.Prepare to have your perceptions of love and relationships profoundly challenged and enriched. Let's dive into a conversation with Adam Lyons about redefining love beyond the conventional.Want to Connect with Adam? Visit askthedatingcoach.com to take the free personality test and gain insights into your dating life and self-sabotage patterns.Connect with Adam Lyons on Instagram at @theadamlyons for more dating and relationship advice and tips.Send us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark! Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Apr 4, 2024 • 1h 5min
The Marathon Problem: Overcoming Fears to Embrace Non-monogamy with Poly Pocket Podcast Ep. 72
Welcome to a candid exploration of the highs and lows of the non-monogamous journey, especially after the significant life transition of divorce. If you've found the path to non-monogamy leaving you with more questions than answers, feeling both overwhelmed and intrigued, this episode is for you.Joining me today are Hunter and Butcher, the insightful duo behind the Poly Pocket Podcast. As a married, UK-based couple navigating polyamory with children, they offer a relatable and supportive voice for those in the polyamorous, consensual non-monogamous (CNM), open relationship, or swinging communities. Their commitment to the development and support of the 'Poly' community shines through their podcast and now, in our conversation.In This Episode, We Cover:Mastering the Transition: Hunter and Butcher share their personal experiences of moving into non-monogamy after divorce, offering wisdom on navigating this significant life change.Unveiling Polyamory: Discover how embracing polyamory can open a new chapter of sexual and emotional exploration, and what it means to truly open up after a traditional monogamous marriage.Embracing Empowerment: Dive into the world of sexual empowerment coaching. Learn how this approach can transform your relationships and personal confidence within a non-monogamous context.Conquering the Green-Eyed Monster: Jealousy is a common challenge in any relationship, but it holds particular prominence in polyamorous dynamics. Hunter and Butcher discuss strategies for managing jealousy and fostering secure attachments.Thriving in Non-Monogamy: Uncover the keys to successful non-monogamous relationships. From communication to boundaries, hear how to navigate the complexities and joys of loving multiple partners.Whether you're new to the concept of non-monogamy or have been on this path for some time, Hunter and Butcher's insights offer valuable guidance and support. Join us as we navigate the intricate, rewarding journey of non-monogamy.Connect with Hunter and Butcher: Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and all major podcast platforms.@Poly_pocket_show Instagram - Follow for updates, behind-the-scenes content, and more Send us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark! Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237

Mar 21, 2024 • 48min
From Polyamory to Monogamish: Relationship Coach Gets Real About Polyamory, Ep. 71
Welcome to a heart-to-heart with Shelby Avann, where we peel back the layers on relationships, intimacy, and the magic of healing. Shelby isn't just any relationship and intimacy coach. She’s a Reiki healer too, with a knack for weaving spirituality and science into a transformative blend that empowers women to deepen emotional intimacy, shake off codependency, and wave goodbye to loneliness.In today’s chat, Shelby gets real about her own love life adventures. She's journeyed from exploring polyamory to finding her sweet spot in what she calls a "monogamish" relationship. It’s all about discovering what truly clicks with your heart and values.Here’s What We’re Getting Into:Finding Your Non-Monogamy Fit: Shelby talks about figuring out which form of non-monogamy feels right, because one size definitely doesn’t fit all.Jealousy: The Green Monster: How do you deal with jealousy and insecurity as you open up your relationship? Shelby's got some solid advice.Trust Talks: The importance of laying down a strong foundation of trust through open talks about needs and setting clear boundaries.Self-Growth is Key: Shelby stresses the importance of working on yourself to find security and fulfillment in any relationship.Healing with Reiki: Discover how Reiki can help clear those stubborn emotional blockages that keep you stuck.Shelby’s insights on building intimacy through being real, vulnerable, and sometimes just plain silly with your partner are gold. She also tackles how letting anxiety run the show can throw a wrench in making those deep connections. No matter where you stand on the relationship spectrum, Shelby's wisdom is like having a heart-to-heart with a friend who’s seen it all.Want to connect with Shelby?www.shelbyavann.caSend us a textFLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark! Support the show📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar LindsteinSTIM IPI: 572 393 237