Dear Dr. Tracy

What really happens behind closed doors when two iconic artists build a marriage, a family, and a creative life together? In this intimate conversation, I sit down with Canadian musicians Raine Maida (Our Lady Peace) and Chantal Kreviazuk to talk about the real work of long-term love. We explore the story behind their documentary I’m Going to Break Your Heart, the “burnt chicken” moment that revealed deeper invisible labor dynamics, and how everyday micro-heartbreaks can either chip away at connection or strengthen intimacy. We dive into maximizer/minimizer patterns, why conflict is inevitable in marriage, and how a simple pause can stop a spiral. You’ll hear how they use tools like CPR (Catch, Pause, Repair), eye-gazing, and intentional autonomy to stay connected through parenting, touring, hormonal shifts, and the evolving seasons of a decades-long relationship. We also unpack men’s resistance to therapy, reframing it as coaching, and why interdependence—not perfection—is the foundation of lasting partnership. If you’ve ever felt alone in the messiness of marriage, this episode will help you feel seen, supported, and equipped to build a stronger, more resilient relationship. Tune in to hear the truth behind long-term love. MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Check out Raine and Chantal’s Substack: A Rock and Roll Love Story: https://raineandchantal.substack.com/ Raine and Chantal’s Documentary: I’m Going To Break Your Heart RESOURCES: Order my new book! You, Your Husband, and His Mother Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠     Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠ LINKS: Calm: Save 40% off at calm.com/Tracy NativePath: Special Bundle deal at getnativepath.com/Tracy Rula: Get the support you need with rula.com/Tracy KiwiCo: Save 50% off with code TRACY KiwiCo.Com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In moments of conflict, it’s easy to feel unheard—and to keep “piling on” examples in the hope that your partner will finally understand. But what if that very habit is the thing preventing real repair? In this episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish unpacks why we overload our partners during arguments, how it triggers defensiveness, and what to do instead to foster connection and accountability. You’ll learn why slowing down, naming one feeling, and allowing space for emotion is the key to creating lasting change and deeper understanding in your relationship. Tune in to feel seen, supported, and equipped with practical tools to navigate conflict with compassion and clarity. Grab my new book ⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠!! Available on all formats RESOURCES: Want your questions answered on the show?⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠⁠     Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the⁠⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠ LINKS: ⁠⁠Factor Meals:⁠⁠ Save 50% off your first box and get free breakfast for a year. Use code TRACY50OFF at factormeals.com/TRACY50OFF Rula: Get the support you need with ⁠⁠rula.com/Tracy⁠ ⁠⁠Calm:⁠⁠ Save 40% off at ⁠⁠calm.com/Tracy⁠⁠ ⁠⁠KiwiCo:⁠⁠ Save 50% off with code TRACY KiwiCo.Com ⁠⁠Better Help:⁠⁠ Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACYK12 Powered Schools: Learn more at ⁠⁠k12.com/TRACY⁠ Keywords: relationship repair, piling on in conflict, communication skills for couples, defensiveness in relationships, emotional validation, Gottman method, couples therapy insights, relationship podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you ever feel like you’re just going through the motions in your relationship—managing, reacting, doing, but not truly connecting? In this candid conversation, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish and her husband Greg explore what it means to slip into autopilot mode—that state where we function out of habit rather than intention. They unpack the science and psychology behind it, revealing how early experiences and nervous system responses shape the ways we disconnect from ourselves and our partners. Together, they share real-life examples and practical exercises to help you become more present, rebuild emotional attunement, and reignite connection—one small, conscious shift at a time. Whether you’re stuck in the same arguments, feeling like roommates, or simply moving through your days on repeat, this episode will help you slow down, tune in, and show up differently. Tune in to feel seen, supported, and equipped to reconnect—with yourself and your partner. Grab my new book ⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠!! Available on all formats RESOURCES: Want your questions answered on the show?⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠⁠     Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the⁠⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠ LINKS: ⁠⁠Factor Meals:⁠⁠ Save 50% off your first box and get free breakfast for a year. Use code TRACY50OFF at factormeals.com/TRACY50OFF Rula: Get the support you need with ⁠⁠rula.com/Tracy⁠ ⁠⁠Calm:⁠⁠ Save 40% off at ⁠⁠calm.com/Tracy⁠⁠ ⁠⁠KiwiCo:⁠⁠ Save 50% off with code TRACY KiwiCo.Com ⁠⁠Better Help:⁠⁠ Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACYK12 Powered Schools: Learn more at ⁠⁠k12.com/TRACY⁠ Keywords: relationship autopilot, emotional connection, relationship patterns, mindfulness in relationships, couples communication, relationship awareness, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, Be Connected Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this From the Couch episode, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish answers a listener’s question about navigating conflict with a sister-in-law. Using her expertise as a psychologist and couples therapist, she unpacks toxic family patterns, explores loyalty binds within families, and shares practical strategies to help couples stay united when extended-family dynamics create tension. Learn how to set boundaries, communicate effectively, and protect your marriage from outside drama. Keywords: sister-in-law conflict, toxic family dynamics, mother-in-law, boundaries, marriage advice, family relationships, couples therapy. Order my new book! ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠ RESOURCES: Want your questions answered on the show?⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠⁠     Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the⁠⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠ LINKS: ⁠⁠Calm:⁠⁠ Save 40% off at ⁠⁠calm.com/Tracy⁠⁠ ⁠Factor Meals:⁠⁠ Save 50% off your first box and get free breakfast for a year. Use code TRACY50OFF at factormeals.com/TRACY50OFF Rula: Get the support you need with ⁠⁠rula.com/Tracy⁠⁠ ⁠⁠KiwiCo:⁠⁠ Save 50% off with code TRACY ⁠⁠KiwiCo.Com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Vionic Shoes⁠⁠⁠: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever felt caught between your partner and his mother—or wondered how a whole book on that exact dynamic comes to life?  In this cozy, behind-the-scenes conversation, Dr. Tracy sits down with her husband Greg to share the real story of writing You, Your Husband, and His Mother—from 4:30 a.m. writing sessions and walking voice notes, to landing a Big 5 book deal and holding the finished book in her hands. They talk honestly about what it takes to build something big while raising kids, running a practice, and still trying to have a real life together. Together, they unpack why the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship is so charged, how triangles quietly pull couples into painful patterns, and why the VAULT Method is designed to move you out of the victim–villain trap and into “we’re a team” energy. You’ll hear about inner child patterns, feeling “in the middle,” and the deep relief so many women describe when they finally feel seen instead of “crazy” for struggling with in-laws. Tune in to feel understood, hopeful, and equipped with a new way to think about your marriage, your in-laws, and the small steps that can help you become a stronger, more aligned couple. Grab my new book ⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠!! Available on all formats RESOURCES: Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠     Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠ LINKS: ⁠Factor Meals:⁠ Save 50% off your first box and get free breakfast for a year. Use code TRACY50OFF at factormeals.com/TRACY50OFF Rula: Get the support you need with ⁠rula.com/Tracy ⁠Calm:⁠ Save 40% off at ⁠calm.com/Tracy⁠ ⁠KiwiCo:⁠ Save 50% off with code TRACY KiwiCo.Com ⁠Better Help:⁠ Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACYK12 Powered Schools: Learn more at ⁠k12.com/TRACY⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In Season 2, Episode 2 of Nobody Wants This, Joanne delivers the now-viral line: “Mothers have been hating their son’s girlfriends since the beginning of time…” — and it’s the ultimate masterclass in boundaries. Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, clinical psychologist and author of You, Your Husband, and His Mother, unpacks why Bina’s behavior is a textbook case of enmeshment, guilt, and control disguised as care. From secret keys to guilt trips and emotional manipulation, Dr. Tracy breaks down what happens when families don’t update their roles — and how couples can stay united through it. Learn the key therapy concepts of enmeshment, triangulation, differentiation, and boundary-setting, and walk away knowing how to protect your peace without losing compassion. Order my new book! ⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠ RESOURCES: Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠     Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠ LINKS: ⁠Calm:⁠ Save 40% off at ⁠calm.com/Tracy⁠ Rula: Get the support you need with ⁠rula.com/Tracy⁠ ⁠KiwiCo:⁠ Save 50% off with code TRACY ⁠KiwiCo.Com⁠⁠⁠Vionic Shoes⁠⁠: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com Keywords Nobody Wants This; emotional intelligence, family dynamics, mother-in-law, boundaries, communication, repair, autonomy, differentiation, relationships, parenting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this final episode of the series, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, psychologist and relationship expert, discusses the importance of emotional intelligence in family dynamics, particularly focusing on the role of mothers-in-law. She outlines key behaviors that emotionally intelligent mothers-in-law exhibit, such as protecting the couple unit, communicating effectively, owning their impact, including without enmeshment, and practicing differentiation. The episode emphasizes the need for self-awareness, empathy, and the ability to navigate complex family relationships while maintaining healthy boundaries. Preorder my new book! ⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠ RESOURCES: Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠     Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠ LINKS: Calm: Save 40% off at calm.com/Tracy Rula: Get the support you need with rula.com/Tracy KiwiCo: Save 50% off with code TRACY KiwiCo.Com⁠Vionic Shoes⁠: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com Keywords emotional intelligence, family dynamics, mother-in-law, boundaries, communication, repair, autonomy, differentiation, relationships, parenting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this From the Couch session, Psychologist and Relationship Expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish breaks down one of the biggest questions she gets during the holiday season: What’s the difference between a boundary and a threat? If you’ve ever said, “I’m not hosting this year,” or “If you keep acting like that, we’re never coming over again,” this episode will help you understand why one creates peace and the other fuels conflict.Short, compassionate, and practical, this quick session gives you the language and mindset to protect your peace without guilt. 👉 Listen if you’re searching for:How to set boundaries with family kindlyThe difference between boundaries and threatsHoliday boundary settingHow to protect your peace without starting conflict Preorder my new book and snag your seat to my EXCLUSIVE LIVE COACHING event! ⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠ RESOURCES: Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠     Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠ LINKS: ⁠Calm:⁠ Save 40% off at ⁠calm.com/Tracy⁠ ⁠KiwiCo:⁠ Save 50% off with code TRACY KiwiCo.Com ⁠Better Help:⁠ Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACY K12 Powered Schools: Learn more at ⁠k12.com/TRACY⁠ ⁠Quince Bedding:⁠ Free Shipping at quince.com/TRACY ⁠Branch Basics:⁠⁠ Use code TRACY15 to save 15% off your Premium Starter Kit ⁠⁠Vionic Shoes⁠⁠: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this special episode of Dear Dr. Tracy, clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish sits down with her husband, Greg, to answer real, anonymous listener questions about mothers-in-law (MILs), in-law dynamics, holiday boundaries, and getting on the same page as a couple.  Drawing from her upcoming book, You, Your Husband, and His Mother (launching November 4), Dr. Tracy breaks down how to ask a partner to “take your side” (validation vs. action), set clear boundaries without disrespect, manage holiday expectations, and respond to subtle digs or manipulative comments—all while protecting the couple bond. Listeners learn practical scripts and the VAULT Method (Values, Aspirations + nervous system awareness, Understanding, Longings, Taking Action) to move out of autopilot and into teamwork. Dr. Tracy and Greg cover fairness myths between families, FaceTime and visit expectations, nervous-system tools for dread and anxiety, how to avoid triangulation during sibling or extended-family conflict, and how to protect parenting choices (consent, food rules, body talk) with warmth and clarity. Whether someone is navigating mild tension or long-standing patterns, this episode offers research-informed, compassionate strategies to keep connection, repair, and co-created family traditions at the center—especially during the holidays. Preorder my new book You, Your Husband, and His Mother and save your seat at my exclusive live coaching event!! RESOURCES: Want your questions answered on the show? ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠     Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection? ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠ LINKS: Factor Meals: Save 50% off your first box and get free breakfast for a year. Use code TRACY50OFF at factormeals.com/TRACY50OFF Calm: Save 40% off at calm.com/Tracy KiwiCo: Save 50% off with code TRACY KiwiCo.Com Better Help: Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACYK12 Powered Schools: Learn more at k12.com/TRACY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Defensiveness is one of the most common reasons couples get stuck in repetitive fights — but few people understand what’s actually driving it. In this episode, Clinical Psychologist Dr. Tracy Dalgleish explains the psychology of defensiveness, how shame and fear of rejection play a role, and the proven tools that help couples communicate without walls going up. Learn how to respond without reacting, build emotional safety, and start creating the kind of connection you really want. Keywords: how to stop being defensive, couples communication skills, marriage advice podcast, defensiveness and shame, Gottman four horsemen, relationship repair, therapist tips for couples. Preorder my new book and snag your seat to my EXCLUSIVE LIVE COACHING event! ⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠ RESOURCES: Want your questions answered on the show?⁠ ⁠⁠Submit them here!⁠⁠⁠     Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz:⁠ ⁠⁠Take it here⁠⁠⁠ Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠ Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠ LINKS: ⁠Calm:⁠ Save 40% off at ⁠calm.com/Tracy⁠ ⁠KiwiCo:⁠ Save 50% off with code TRACY KiwiCo.Com ⁠Better Help:⁠ Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACY K12 Powered Schools: Learn more at ⁠k12.com/TRACY⁠ ⁠Quince Bedding:⁠ Free Shipping at quince.com/TRACY ⁠Branch Basics:⁠⁠ Use code TRACY15 to save 15% off your Premium Starter Kit ⁠⁠Vionic Shoes⁠⁠: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices