Love & Life with Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott

As we all know, if something is “out of order,” it’s not working.  So, too, in marriage!  In session 3 of his premarital curriculum, Elliott discusses the importance of “order” in marriage. He shares key verses in Ephesians 5 with which some couples struggle. Elliott asserts a deeper understanding reveals how husbands and wives are empowered by these Biblical instructions. He reminds us that although we’re not all wired for structure and order, we need to find a God ordained rhythm that works for us as a couple. I share some examples from our marriage roles which, though traditional, feel authentic and empowering. Join us to keep your relationship in order!  Sponsor: The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

We’re continuing our series on engagement by sharing Elliott’s premarital curriculum with you 💍 In session 2, Elliott asks couples if they believe love is enough. If we’re madly in love, can we be guaranteed a happy, solid, fulfilling marriage? He goes into depth regarding the Bible’s instructions (I Peter 3:1-7) for how husbands are to treat their wives and vice versa. Elliott unpacks the meaning of the Greek to reveal the true intimacy God designed for us in marriage. Spoiler alert:  women will be quite pleased with God’s directions for how their husbands should love them! We delve into the following: What authentic intimacy looks like. How love is given and received differently by men and women. How husbands are to “honor” their wives (an incredibly radical notion at the time!) and the blessing they receive when they do so! Join us for a deeper understanding of love and how this applies to relationships, intimacy, and marriage! Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Elliott sent me this Key and Peele clip the other day: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/wOBNm_8zw4I I immediately texted back, “We need to record an episode about this!” The bit starts with Key sharing an unpopular opinion about a movie.  Peele responds with a phrase we hear all the time these days, “That’s awkward!” Key is confused. What’s awkward about an opinion? He protests but Peele continues to shut him down with dismissive phrases like, “Okay . . . ” and “All right . . .” It’s a funny sketch that reveals a great deal about our current social environment. The terms and phrases we use are powerful—they reflect current norms while also framing how we experience our interactions and relationships. Meaning, when we perceive common day-to-day conversations as “awkward,” we respond accordingly i.e. we tell ourselves to be uncomfortable and hence increase the likelihood we’ll feel anxious. Think about it. We could just as easily label common day-to-day conversations as “normal—maybe surprising, maybe confusing, but normal” and thereby respond in kind. Elliott and I discuss the psychological implications of using common phrases—like, “That’s awkward” and, “I have anxiety about that!”—and how these impact our emotional wellbeing.  Specifically, we consider: The societal norms which make the clip funny. How labeling a situation informs our emotional response. The harm of labeling ourselves in a fixed, immutable manner e.g., “I have anxiety.” The influence of constant phone usage on our friendships, psychological health, and humanity in general. How to decrease disempowered self-talk and replace it with empowered self-talk. Join us as we examine what’s really going on behind phrases like, “That’s awkward!” and “I have anxiety!” Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Last week, Producer Tim and I discussed the joys of an easy marriage.  But we know, of course, this isn’t everyone’s experience! We definitely wanted Elliott to share how he helps couples in difficult marriages improve their connection so they can enjoy each other more—and maybe even find that ease and fluidity they’ve been lacking! Specifically, we discuss: Semantics around the word, “easy.” Why Elliott thinks it’s often more about a secure connection, as opposed to an “easy” one. The fact that couples with avoidant attachment styles might have what seems to be an easier marriage, but how this could reflect a lack of depth in their connection. When an easy marriage might actually be in trouble! Strategies for couples struggling with a difficult marriage—your marriage CAN get easier! No matter the dynamics of your relationship, please join us! Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

The Love & Life family is a diverse bunch—from singles, to those exclusively dating, to engaged couples, to marrieds, to divorced folks back on the scene again. We’re all at different places in our love journey. As we thought about what we wanted to share for Valentine’s Day, Producer Tim suggested we grapple with the following:  Are relationships doomed to be a constant struggle? Do they have to be SO hard? Could marriage actually be easy? Since it was Tim’s idea, I asked him to share his thoughts and experience with the topic.  Specifically, we delve into the following: What makes a relationship easy? Do opposites attract and if so, won’t this eventually lead to strife? If we marry someone similar to us, won’t things get boring? How do conflict styles factor in? What role does attachment style play in terms of relationship ease? We then take a look at the psych research, of course! We also weave in clips from a song I wrote for Dan called Breathing—“It’s like breathing, so easy, loving you couldn’t come more naturally, it’s like breathing.” You can listen to Breathing on Spotify here: https://open.spotify.com/track/5M6UjeGH1dyNPs05CPRpeN?si=19f3d9b189bc4341  Happy Valentine’s Day from Love & Life! Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson Sources: https://www.gottman.com/blog/truth-expectations-relationships/

We interrupt our series on engagement to bring you Elliott’s presentation on trauma, which he shared recently at his church. How do we define trauma? What experiences leave a trauma wound? How do these wounds impact our relationships? What does the Bible have to say about trauma? Is there hope for healing? If so, how do we heal? We’ve all experienced some level of trauma—Big T or Little t. Perhaps you never fought in a war zone or were the victim of a violent attack, but we all recently endured a global pandemic and, as Elliott explains, COVID response measures certainly traumatized us individually and collectively. Join us for a word of hope and strategies for healing! P.S. Elliott wanted us to include the hymn I sang at the end of the service. 🙏  Sponsor The Wellness Company  Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠  Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!  Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson  Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/  Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook  Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

As anyone who’s experienced depression can tell you, it’s brutal. And, with almost 1 in 4 American women taking antidepressants, it’s clear many of us are suffering. What’s going on? What’s to be done? In this latest episode of our “Love & Life:  Let’s Talk About It” series, Miriam Conner and I explore depression in America—especially as it relates to women. Specifically, we consider: How depression is conceptualized.  The evidence that debunks the “chemical imbalance” explanation. Why antidepressants don’t work. Lifestyle factors that contribute to depression. Spoiler alert:  pretty much everything in the standard American lifestyle contributes to it! Research based strategies to liberate us from the clutches of depression! Join us to learn how to break free from the grip of depression! N.B. Please DO NOT quit taking antidepressants without the consultation and guidance of a professional trained in how to taper off SSRIs safely. Antidepressant Discontinuation Syndrome can result when abruptly terminating SSRIs. This conversation does not prescribe medical or psychological advice and should not be taken as such.   Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Miriam Conner Podcast: ⁠aParently Speaking⁠ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aParentlySpeakingPodcast/ Dr. Karin  Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Instagram: @dr.karin  Sources: Our conversation was based on Dr. Joseph Mercola’s article, “Gross Misconduct—The Final Nail in the Coffin for Antidepressants.”  Mercola, J. (2024, January 29). Gross misconduct—The final nail in the coffin for antidepressants. Substack.  Moncrieff, J., Cooper, R.E., Stockmann, T. et al. (2023). The serotonin theory of depression: A systematic umbrella review of the evidence. Molecular Psychiatry 28, 3243–3256. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41380-022-01661-0 https://www.madinamerica.com/2023/09/the-stard-scandal-scientific-misconduct-on-a-grand-scale/

Welcome to Love & Life: Let’s Talk About It! So, what exactly are we talking about? All the hot topics we’re not supposed to touch—the subjects that get you censored, shadow-banned, and canceled when you broach them. Censorship, shadow-banning, cancelation . . . How could this happen? This is America, the “land of the free!” Or, so we thought . . . Are we actually free if we’re not permitted to challenge assertions and dissent from dictates? How is it we now live in a society in which social media platforms—which essentially serve as our “public square”—can determine what discourse may be discussed and which topics are considered unacceptable? Maybe you’re okay with the censorship. After all, there’s a lot of disinformation and hate speech out there! But, who establishes what is and what isn’t “disinformation”? And who decides when speech is nasty enough to constitute “hate”? If censorship enrages you and the questions above infuriate you, Love & Life “Let’s Talk About It” episodes are for you! Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Miriam Conner Podcast: aParently Speaking Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aParentlySpeakingPodcast/ Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Instagram: @dr.karin

We continue our series on engagement with the next segment of Elliott’s premarital counseling curriculum. Today’s episode delves into Session 1, Part 2. Elliott discusses the themes couples should address when they’re engaged—along with the exercises and activities he employs to help generate conversations around these important topics. If you’re engaged—or expect to be someday—this episode is for you! And actually, even if you’re married, you’ll find much value in this conversation. Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

You’re engaged! Time for wedding planning! But, what about marriage planning? Because a strong, fulfilling marriage starts long before your wedding day! In fact, our engagement serves as a crucial time for us to address key concerns and establish healthy patterns which will set us up for a strong, fulfilling marriage. With over 30 years counseling engaged and married couples, Elliott has a wealth of recommendations to help you utilize this important time in your relationship. Join us to explore 5 key concerns to address when you’re engaged to optimize your future marriage!  Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson