Love and Life with Dr. Karin and Pastor Elliott

It’s National Unmarried and Single Americans Week!  To kick it off, I’ve invited Shani Silver, host of A Single Serving podcast, to share how she moved from complaining about dating to championing the single life!  According to Shani, “I came out of a hole and I know the way out of the hole. I want to tell other people that it’s possible.”  Here are a few more gems of wisdom from my conversation with Shani: “Enjoying a single life—not as a consolation, but as ‘on par’ with life in partnership—is entirely possible. I know this because I’m living it.” “It is 100% possible to love your single life and want a relationship at the same  time. Both of those things can coexist.” “I decided that what was meant for me was going to connect with me. And it was not going to be because I was fighting to find it. Because I had fought to find it for a decade and I didn’t. So that method didn’t serve me.  Maybe just relaxing and letting go and living life will connect me with who I’m meant to be with anyway.” Join us for a celebration of empowered single living! Shani Silver Website: shanisilver.com Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Instagram: @dr.karin

After 21 years of dating, serial monogamy, breakups, and periods of feeling miserably alone, Leslie Kaz was over it! Tired of what she calls “The Endless Search” for a man, Leslie decided to take a 6 month break from dating. During those 6 months, Leslie completely redefined herself and her life—so much so, that she abandoned “The Endless Search” and stepped into a brand new way of living! She shares her philosophy in her book, Single Girl Bliss: How to Stop Feeling Alone and Start Feeling Alive. In our conversation, Leslie and I talk about: · The lies we tell ourselves that make us miserable—and how to tackle them! · What it means to be alone—and how to manage it emotionally. · How to choose a partner (should you decide to choose one) from a position of strength! · What saved her in her darkest hour (I promise, you’ll never guess what it was!) · The power of how we present ourselves—and our single life—to others. · How to create new, empowering—and TRUE—beliefs about being single. When I came across Leslie’s work and read her book, I knew she was Love & Life material! Join us to hear how Leslie lives blissfully single, and learn how you can, too! Leslie’s Website: www.lesliekaz.com/ Leslie’s Book: www.amazon.com/dp/1734277807/ref…46&s=books&sr=1-1 Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Instagram: @dr.karin

It’s National Unmarried and Single Americans Week and to celebrate, I’m sharing the first chapter of my book, Single is the New Black:  Don’t Wear White ‘til it’s Right! One of the main myths singles hear is that they’re somehow fundamentally flawed and that’s why they haven’t met their person—if they’d just “fix themselves” already, true love would finally come their way. Yeah, right. I take issue with this bogus assumption and much more in my book and I share the first chapter with you here as a way to kick off a week devoted to singles. Let’s thrive during our single season! My book is here to help! Stay tuned throughout the week for more bonus episodes and giveaways! Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Instagram: @dr.karin

Women without children walk the road less traveled—and for the vast majority of them, this path was not of their choosing. In fact, of the women who reach midlife without children, only 10% planned to be  “child free”, while 10% are childless due to infertility, and a full 80% are childless not by choice but rather, due to circumstances. Jody Day of Gateway Women shares her personal journey and discusses the many layers of disenfranchised grief surrounding childlessness. Specifically, we cover: ·        Second wave feminism and the unintended consequence of circumstantial childlessness. ·        The emotional, physical, and financial complexities of IVF—the real stats. ·        Jody’s thoughts on how to respond to the, “Oh, you would have made such a great mom!” comments. ·        When the term “biological clock” first appeared in the discourse. ·        The pain of “not being chosen” for partnership along with the “not being chosen” to be someone’s mother. ·        Grieving the loss of the “identity” of mother. ·        How to “reclaim our worthiness” and find our place as women without children. ·        The fetishism of motherhood. ·        Societal and policy concerns surrounding childless women. The pain is real, but it’s a disenfranchised sorrow—how do you grieve the loss of something you never had? Join us for an empathic, supportive conversation and be sure to participate in World Childless Week’s virtual summit September 13 – 19, 2021. Click here to get a free chapter from Jody's book - Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children More info on Jody's book here: http://www.gateway-women.com/book  Sponsor: Millionaire Match MillionaireMatch is an exclusive, award-winning dating site for elite singles looking for serious relationships & marriages! Download the free app here: https://app.appsflyer.com/id1484587490?pid=af3236943 Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Instagram: @dr.karin

In this Love & Life Q&A episode, I answer the following questions: 1. “Jessica” really wants to remain friends with her ex. This breakup is even harder than most because they trauma bonded throughout 2020 when she turned 40 and also lost her father. Is it possible they could actually remain friends? 2. “Danielle” hasn’t spoken to her ex for over a year but she still thinks about him. She knows she needs to move on but like most of us, she absolutely HATES dating apps. Is there anything she can do? I share therapeutic strategies for how to get over heartbreak by moving through and moving on. Dr. Karin Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes -------------------------------------------------------- Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Instagram: @dr.karin

“We’ll be besties forever!” “No matter what happens, we’ll stay close.” “You’re my BFF and nothing will change that!” We said it. We meant it. But life happens, and it gets in the way of even the closest friendship. And sometimes it hurts—a lot. But we CAN remain close—as we talked about in last week’s episode—by examining our expectations. My BFF, Miriam Conner, joins me to share her philosophy on friendship—the “No Pressure” friendship. Specifically, we delve into: How to maintain strong friendships while also adjusting our expectations as our priorities shift. What developmental psych research on preschoolers and empathy can teach us about adult friendships! Three options for how to respond when a friend disappoints us. Personal stories of when we both found ourselves needing to cut friends out of our lives. How to handle it when a friend cancels plans at the last minute. What to do when a friend changes dramatically. How to politely disengage from a friend who has unreasonable expectations. The parallels between dating/marriage and lifelong friendships. Why some women LOVE drama in their friendships. Join us to learn how to cultivate “no pressure friendships” with your besties!  Dr. Karin  Single is the New Black - Audiobook  Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible  iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes  --------------------------------------------------------  Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/  Instagram: @dr.karin

When asked what we treasure most, people readily respond with one word—relationships. Our friends, family, and romantic partners enrich our lives in myriad ways, providing encouragement, support, affection, and joy. Except when they don’t. When our relationships are in crisis, our life is in crisis and when they’re thriving, we thrive. As Tony Robbins puts it, “The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.” So, why is it such a struggle to maintain healthy and fulfilling intimacy in our lives? Great question! And, today’s episode provides answers! Join me to learn three research-based hacks to improve EVERY relationship in your life—your connection to friends, family, and significant others! Citations: Hawkley, L.C., Thisted, R.A., Masi, C.M., & Cacioppo, J.T. (2010). Loneliness predicts increased blood pressure:  5-year cross-lagged analyses in middle-aged and older adults. Psychology and Aging, 25(1), 132-141. Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T., & Layton, B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk:  A meta-analytic review. J.PLoS Med 7 (7). Kroenke, C., Quesenberry, C., Kwan, M., Sweeney, C., Castillo, A., & Caan, B. (2013). Social networks, social support, and burden in relationships, and mortality after breast cancer diagnosis in the Life After Breast Cancer Epidemiology (LACE) Study. Breast Cancer Research and Treatment, 137(1), 261-271. Luhmann, M., Hofmann, M., Eid, W., & Lucas, R. (2012). Subjective well-being and adaptation to life events:  A meta-analysis. Journal of Personality & Social Psychology, 102(3), 592-615. Dr. Karin Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes -------------------------------------------------------- Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Instagram: @dr.karin

It’s time for another Love & Life Q&A episode! We have three questions to tackle today. 1. One listener wants to know how to ask a guy out. She lives in Ireland and finds Irish men are often hesitant to take the lead. Can she ask him out while still dating empowered? 2. A second listener struggles to find the motivation to date after a year of lockdowns and Covid malaise. But she’s in her late 30s and worries about her biological clock. Why is it such a struggle? What can she do to motivate herself? 3. A third listener wonders how to let guys know she’s interested—she’s been told she’s too closed off and appears aloof in the early stages of dating. So in her last relationship, she tried to be open, honest, and vulnerable, but she got ghosted anyway! She now regrets it because looking back she felt much “schmoopier” with this guy—which wasn’t comfortable for her. How can she express interest while still dating empowered? Join us for a deep dive into these common—and frustrating—dating dilemmas! Citations: https://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/love/flirting.shtml https://maclynninternational.us/blog/the-science-of-flirting/ Dr. Karin Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes -------------------------------------------------------- Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Instagram: @dr.karin

Sometimes, if we’ve been single for a while—or longer than a while—we begin to doubt ourselves. We wonder why love seems so hard to find. Are we doing something wrong? Is there a particular quality we’re missing? What are men looking for anyway? Well, here’s the good news. You have exactly what your person is looking for! I promise. And, it’s not just my opinion, it’s what science says! Psychologist David Buss studied men and women in 37 different cultures/countries and found that both sexes desire the same four qualities in their spouses. Join me for an empowering and confidence boosting episode—you have everything you need to attract your person to you! References: Buss, D. (1989). Sex differences in human mate preferences:  Evolutionary hypotheses tested in 37 cultures. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 12, 1-14. Welch, D. (2015). Love factually:  10 proven steps from I wish to I do. Love Science Media. Sponsor: Therappy App Download the app here: https://therappy.onelink.me/mNmu/92326bf9 Dr. Karin Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes -------------------------------------------------------- Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Instagram: @dr.karin

On Love & Life we talk about beliefs all the time—because they’re incredibly powerful and they impact every area of our lives—especially our love life. What we believe about ourselves and what we believe we have to offer a partner sets the tone we bring to our dating efforts and experiences. And sometimes, we hold beliefs that assert influence over us, but we don’t even know we hold these beliefs! On today’s episode, psychotherapist turned dating coach, Melanie Hersch, and I explore how we can harness our beliefs and level up our mindset for empowered dating! Join us to learn how to: reprogram limiting beliefs about our self-worth. identify the stories we tell ourselves—which may, in fact, be lies! be vulnerable without providing too much information too soon! recognize when we’re triggered so as not to blame and shame our partner. establish boundaries early on when dating—boundaries which establish precedents for how you desire to be treated throughout the relationship. Incorporating her psychotherapist background into her coaching philosophy, Melanie brings clarity and expertise to our podcast conversation and her approach to dating and relationships! Sponsor: Therappy App Download the app here: https://therappy.onelink.me/mNmu/92326bf9 Melanie Hersch Website: https://therefinedwoman.com/ Instagram: @therefinedwoman Dr. Karin Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes -------------------------------------------------------- Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Instagram: @dr.karin