Love & Life with Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott

For this week’s episode I wanted to share my recent appearance on “Perspective of the Mind or how to get unstuck when you feel stuck with Diyana Dimitrova”. In this episode we cover: What does it mean healthy and unhealthy relationship? Why so many people are in unhealthy relationships? How to recognize a deal breaker from the normal ups and downs in a relationship? How can we cope with fear of loneliness?  Please considering checking out Diyana’s podcast here: https://anchor.fm/diyana-dimitrova Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Boomers, Gen Xers and Millennials remember a world without social media and cell phones but for Gen Z, technology has always been a ubiquitous part of their existence. So, I was curious as to how Gen Z would respond to our series on technology and relationships. Do they have any similar frustrations? What do they make of the modern dating landscape as it relates to technology? How are their friendships impacted? Do they feel technology’s influence on their mental health? Former Love & Life guest and my BFF, Miriam Conner, said her daughter, Callie, had listened to our series and had some thoughts she was willing to share. Join us for a Gen Zer’s response to phones, technology, and relationships. Callie and I cover the questions above and more! https://www.therobinreport.com/a-growing-segment-of-gen-z-is-so-over-social-media/ https://flatheadbeacon.com/2022/12/23/the-luddite-club/ Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

When did you last spend time with someone without a phone in your hand or on the table? It’s probably been a while . . . And while phones absolutely enhance our lives and provide the ability to connect with people across the globe, they can also detract from our IRL relationships. In today’s episode, Elliott and I continue our conversation on phones and relationships by considering the following question:  Does social media make you happy? We explore the following and much more! Does “technopherence” create barriers in your relationships? Are you having an emotional affair with your phone? Are you guilty of phubbing? How “intimate” are social media connections? How do attachment styles intersect with social media usage? When do you pull out your phone—and more importantly, why? Elliott’s ABCs of relationships and phones. PLUS learn Elliott’s step-by-step plan for enhancing intimacy by creating the necessary structure around social media/phone usage! Elliott Anderson Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

When you’re with your friends, how long can you make it before one of you pulls out your phone? You’re just responding to texts, of course, or, maybe checking the likes from your last post. Most of us do it all day every day. But research shows jumping onto social media when you’re with friends IRL may have a detrimental impact on your connection. There’s even a newish term for this,“technopherence”– technology based interference. And specifically, when “technopherence” disrupts your time with friends, it’s called “phubbing” – “snubbing [friends] in order to focus your attention on your phone” (Degges-White, 2022). To continue our series on Phones and Relationships, my BFF and Love & Life alum, Miriam Conner, joins me to discuss how we can remain present with our friends and cultivate deep intimacy despite the ubiquity of technology. Join us to hear the research and learn 3 key tips for managing phones and friendships! Citation: https://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/jennifer-aniston-friends-bust-thanks-cell-phones-article-1.3153045 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/202203/is-technoference-damaging-your-relationships https://www.healthline.com/health/how-social-media-is-ruining-relationships https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/how-smartphones-affect-relationships.html Miriam Conner Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/northeast-ohio-parent-presents-aparently-speaking/id1303267006  Love & Life episodes featuring Miriam:  Ep. 188 - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/did-you-inherit-your-anxiety-from-your-parents-ep-188/id1183475201?i=1000555598006  Ep. 153 - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/no-pressure-besties-my-bff-and-i-share-how-its-done-ep-153/id1183475201?i=1000532446517 Ep. 7 - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/besties-forever-thats-what-we-all-say-but-when-life/id1183475201?i=1000381427870  Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

“It’s like there are four people in your relationship—you, your partner, and your two phones.” – Elliott Anderson, M.A. Is your phone impacting your ability to cultivate deep, authentic intimacy? Probably so! Thanks to the phones in our pockets, we’re able to distract ourselves 24/7—from boredom, loneliness, or any uncomfortable emotion. But what about when our relationship with our phone trumps our relationship with our significant other? Join us for a discussion around the very real difficulties couples face when trying to balance relationships with technology and their relationship with their partner. Spending hours on your phone may absolutely be sabotaging your efforts to cultivate authentic and lasting intimacy. Elliott Anderson Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! At least, that’s the fantasy . . . We imagine warm, loving family gatherings—breaking bread, sharing hopes and dreams. Grandparents regaling us with tales of Christmas past. Toddlers and teens giving us a glimpse into Christmas future. But all too often the warm, loving gathering is neither—it’s cold and combative. Breaking bread breaks hearts as we war over politics, religion, and COVID policies. Grandparents’ stories can’t compete with TikTok. Toddlers throw tantrums while teens remain glued too screens. Elliott and I discuss common struggles families face when gathering for the holidays. Join us for practical strategies grounded in Family Systems Theory to manage family conflict at Christmas—or any time! Elliott Anderson Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Is your relationship plagued by constant frustrations and arguments? If so, it’s possible power struggles are at the root of your disagreements. In today’s episode, psychotherapist and pastor, Elliott Anderson, M.A., and I continue our conversation on conflict styles by examining power struggles. If you haven’t had the chance to listen to parts 1 and 2 of this discussion, please jump back to episodes 220 and 221 of Love & Life so you’ll understand all these animals we’re talking about! During his 30 years of counseling couples, Elliott has used the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Style model, which compares the way we negotiate conflict to the ways animals behave and respond. Take the assessment in the link below to find out which animal you are! As we delved into conflict, the theme of power kept emerging because, of course, so much of the dissension we experience in relationships is due to power struggles. Join us to learn how to negotiate power—and conflict!—in your relationships! Conflict Style Framework Link: Thomas-Kilmann Assessment Test Elliott Anderson Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

If you have siblings, you likely fought with them about anything and everything! They were your first sparring partners. And, through them—and interactions with parents and friends, too—you developed your conflict style. (For more on conflict styles, check out part 1 of this series, ep. 220 of Love & Life.) Elliott and I continue our discussion on conflict negotiations in romantic partnership by examining the influence of our temperament, birth order, and our family of origin’s (unwritten) rules regarding conflict resolution. I ask Elliott to share examples from his over 30 years of counseling couples—which he does. But he also analyzes Dan and me! Elliott Anderson Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Conflict is inherent to every relationship. And though many of us regard conflict as problematic and prefer to avoid it, we don’t actually have to perceive it as negative. In fact, when we negotiate conflict, we deepen intimacy and authentic connection. That being said, it’s MUCH easier to negotiate conflict if we have a solid understanding of how we tend to respond when dealing with it. Join Elliott and me as we discuss Thomas–Kilmann’s conflict style framework—a model Elliott has used with couples for over 30 years. Discover your conflict style and learn how to move through disputations with your partner! Spoiler alert:  Elliott and I get personal in this episode—sharing our own conflict styles and how we respond when disagreeing with our spouses. Conflict Style Framework Link: Thomas-Kilmann Assessment Test Elliott Anderson Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson Dr. Karin Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin Single is the New Black: Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Do you feel judged for your financial choices?  If you’re single, you’ve likely experienced single shaming.  And, you probably have also experienced shaming around your financial situation. Single shaming and finances are a thing.  Emily Burnett should know.  In her twenties, she was $50,000 in debt.  She felt the shame.  Then, she pulled herself out of debt and she now helps others create a plan to move from financial shackles to financial freedom!  We delve into the following:  The freedom inherent to financial discipline.  The fact that you’re on a budget—whether or not you’re aware of it.  How to ditch the guilt around spending!  How women can validate our own financial choices.  The importance of creating boundaries around finances.  How to get support!  Emily is offering a free masterclass—Budgeting That Doesn’t Feel Like a Chore: Make 2023 Your Best Year Yet. 3 Simple Steps for Changing Your Money and Your Life—For Good. Sign up here! https://www.mosomoney.com/masterclass  Dr. Karin  Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/  Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook  Instagram: @dr.karin  Single is the New Black:  Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible  iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes