Sage Family

Linda Murphy, a speech-language pathologist and RDI consultant, explores the transformative power of declarative language. She discusses the shift from command-based communication to a more positive, partnership-focused approach. Topics include the benefits of reducing conflict and enhancing self-advocacy through declaratives. Linda provides practical examples for inviting cooperation and fostering authentic connections without demands. She highlights the importance of pacing, acknowledging mistakes, and utilizing playful language to enhance learning and resilience.

"Limits are the thing parents struggle with the most and it's one of the most important pieces of the puzzle. Until you feel confident and competent in your limit setting skills, it's going to be really hard to help your child through aggressive behaviors." Tosha Schore joins me in today's episode about Aggression. Tosha is a parent coach and the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully, where she is on a mission to create a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time. We discuss boys, aggressive play, brains, fear, connection, communication, playfulness, and limits. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast90.

"The thing that we most see is the increase in intrinsic motivation just all over the place." Gina Riley joins me in today's episode about Unschooling Outcomes. Gina is an educational psychologist, Clinical Professor, and Program Leader of Adolescent Special Education Programs at CUNY-Hunter College. We discuss advantages, disadvantages, higher education, career, motivation, and disability. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast89.

"A demand is anything that is too hard in the present moment. And that can be for you or them. As a family, we have found the language of 'too hard' to be incredibly freeing. When things are hard, we show up, we do our best, we're brave, we ask for help. And when things are too hard, we find a way to let it go." Amanda Diekman joins me in today's episode about Low Demand Parenting. Amanda is an autistic adult, parent coach and author in the neurodiversity space with a new Low Demand Parenting book, online courses, and a vibrant membership community. We discuss low demand parenting, permissiveness, power dynamics, emotions, and tips, techniques, and strategies to shift to a more low demand approach. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast88.

"We get to upgrade the mother within us. We get to move toward a sense of our mother's essential self as the part that gets to mother us. If our mother were completely supported, if she had gotten to receive her re-mothering, if she had gotten to heal her emotional trauma, if she had gotten to live with resonance and self-warmth, what would she be like to us? How would she be in relationship with us? We get to bring that essential being in to become the mother that we carry in our cells." Sarah Peyton joins me in today's episode about Self Compassion. Sarah is the bestselling author of Conscious Uncoupling and an award-winning marriage and family psychotherapist. We discuss unconscious contracts, resonance, self-warmth, neuroplasticity, default mode network, hemispheres, body-centered awareness, vagus nerve, accompaniment, the time-traveling amygdala, and circuits. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast87.

"Connection is the substrate of parenting and that rests on my connection to myself. When I have connection, the creative possibilities are endless just as they are when I have connection with my children. We come out of a stuck place and the space between us opens up and there is so much more room for everyone's experience in that connection." Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer join me in today's episode about Menstruality. Alexandra and Sjanie are the co-founders of Red School, and co-authors of the iconic and hugely celebrated book, Wild Power, and their new book Wise Power. We discuss menstrual cycle awareness, the inner seasons, and how to honor our cyclical needs in parenting shifting 1% at a time. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast86.

"Children behave their way to safety." Claire Wilson joins me in today's episode about Polyvagal Theory. Claire is an author, speaker, trainer, and therapist with her book Grounded and her program Grounded Grown Ups, who uses Polyvagal Theory to help children and their grown ups. We discuss the autonomic nervous system hierarchy, being grounded, neuroception, trauma, co-regulation, and autonomic flexibility. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast85.

"They're holding you in that false narrative probably because you've enrolled them into that story. You know, we're always informing other people who we are. So if I have a story, 'I'm not good enough,' there's all sorts of ways that I'm going show up as, 'I'm inferior and they're better than me,' so when they leave because of that, it's validating the old story. So you have to go in and do this correction on a soul level." Katherine Woodward Thomas joins me in today's episode about Conscious Uncoupling. Katherine is the bestselling author of Conscious Uncoupling and an award-winning marriage and family psychotherapist. We discuss changing the definition of success from longevity, the pain of detaching, how we've been doing divorce wrong, conscious uncoupling without our partner's participation, transforming difficult emotions, curating an empowering narrative, breaking our patterns, creating a positive future, building a new life, and rituals for uncoupling. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast84.

"In terms of equality, if my son perceives himself below anything, he's going to have a stress response, like a lion's in front of him." Casey Ehrlich, Ph.D. joins me in today's episode about PDA. Casey is a coach to parents raising PDA Autistic children and is the co-founder of the PDA Parents community and podcast. We discuss what PDA is, Casey's personal journey raising a PDA child, parenting style, accommodations, nervous system disability, support, and fears. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast83.

"If we're in our comfort zone as parents, we're probably holding them back." Chris Balme joins me in today's episode about tweens. Chris Balme is an education leader and writer, passionate about helping young people discover more of their human potential. We discuss how we misunderstand tweens, what's going on with their development, how they learn best, how we can best support them, how our parent-child relationship shifts, ideal middle school, and common challenges and we can better meet them. Get the full show notes at sagefamily.com/podcast82.