Modern Masculinity

Hector sits down with Adam Lyons to explore the tough realities of trust, betrayal, and the role violence plays in a man’s life. Adam opens up about being betrayed by people he once trusted, losing over $120K in the process, and questioning whether men today need to stand up and fight, both physically and metaphorically. Drawing from his own experiences in business and martial arts, Adam shares the hard lessons he’s learned about masculinity, setting boundaries, and surviving in a world that constantly tests these principles.Chapters00:00:00 – Welcome to Modern Masculinity00:02:10 – Betrayal, Trust, and Hard Truths00:03:10 – The Making of a Fighter: Adam's Background00:06:34 – Fighting Lessons Applied to Business00:09:53 – Street Smarts and Survival Skills00:12:17 – Living in High-Stakes Environments00:15:42 – The Role of Violence in Setting Boundaries00:17:08 – Building Trust After Betrayal00:19:34 – Masculinity Under Pressure00:22:22 – How Fighting Connects to Dating00:23:59 – The Lumberjack Effect: Real Attraction00:24:23 – Masculinity and Instinctive Desires00:25:29 – Redefining the Provider and Protector00:26:49 – Myths of Modern Masculinity00:29:35 – Practical Skills in Relationships00:37:21 – Why Preselection Matters00:41:03 – Conversations, Escalation, and Success00:43:47 – Free Resources and Final ThoughtsLinks and ResourcesAsk the Dating CoachThe MVP FormulaHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Tony DiLorenzo joins Hector to talk about the challenges men face when it comes to intimacy, relationships, and personal growth. They talk about the impact of grief, stress, and shame on men’s emotional and sexual lives, sharing advice on how to work through these issues. Tony also explains the six pillars of intimacy and how understanding them can help men build stronger connections with their partners. This honest conversation offers insights into how men can face their struggles and find a path toward healthier relationships.Chapters00:00:00 Welcome to Modern Masculinity00:02:17 Tony DiLorenzo's Journey: Family Life and Personal Reflections00:04:52 Processing Grief and Dealing with Loss as a Man00:07:55 Exploring Intimacy: Connection and Vulnerability00:13:58 Shame, Guilt, and Breaking Emotional Barriers00:22:15 Unpacking the Six Pillars of Intimacy00:23:44 Emotional Intimacy: The Core of All Relationships00:24:28 Common Mistakes Men Make in Emotional Intimacy00:29:41 Financial Intimacy: The Untold Stress on Relationships00:30:53 Managing Stress and How It Impacts Intimacy00:36:06 Building a Strong Foundation for Marriage and Life00:36:47 Tony’s Belief Statements: Tools for Personal Growth00:39:09 Wrapping Up: Final Thoughts and TakeawaysLinks and ResourcesLinkedInONE Extraordinary MarriageTony & Alisa on InstagramThe 6 Pillars of Intimacy Conflict ResolutionThe 6 Pillars of IntimacyThe 6 Pillars of Intimacy WorkbookONE Extraordinary Marriage ShowAll of Tony & Alisa DiLorenzo’s booksHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Carl Lubbe discusses what it means to live as a man in today’s world, getting into the challenges of balancing work, family, and personal growth. He breaks down the myths surrounding masculinity, such as the pursuit of work-life balance, and points out the importance of presence, leadership, and authenticity. Carl also talks about how social media impacts men’s personal development and why it's crucial to ask better questions to lead a more meaningful life. This conversation gives insights for men seeking to lead with purpose in today’s world.Chapters00:00:00 - Setting the Stage: Why Modern Masculinity Matters Today00:01:55 - Carl Lubbe’s Journey: A Real-Life Example of Integrated Masculinity00:03:13 - Breaking the Myth: Is Work-Life Balance Even Possible?00:05:14 - The Power of Authenticity: Living True to Yourself in Every Role00:08:10 - Presence is Everything: How to Show Up Fully for Life’s Moments00:10:19 - Redefining Leadership: What Masculinity Teaches About Leading Effectively00:17:36 - The Bigger Picture: Masculinity in Today’s Complex Cultural Landscape00:21:58 - Battling Disenfranchisement: The Struggles Men Face in Modern Society00:22:41 - Finding Purpose: How Masculine Leadership Can Shape the Future00:23:57 - Social Media’s Influence: Growing or Diminishing Your Personal Development?00:27:17 - Create, Don’t Consume: The Real Key to Balancing Life’s Demands00:33:06 - Where Do We Belong? The Search for Identity and Connection00:40:53 - Modern Masculinity’s Core: Asking the Right Questions for a Better LifeLinks and ResourcesCarl on LinkedInCuriosityTall Tale BrandsHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy, shares how he overcame the "Nice Guy" syndrome and why so many men fall into the trap of people-pleasing and conflict avoidance. He dives into the deep emotional struggles men face, from setting boundaries to dealing with shame, and explains how societal influences have shaped modern masculinity. Dr. Glover offers advice on breaking free from these patterns, embracing authenticity, and reclaiming personal power, making this a must-listen for men looking to transform their relationships and themselves.Chapters:00:00:00 - Welcome to the Show! Meet Dr. Glover00:01:49 - Dr. Glover’s Journey and Insights00:03:26 - The Trap of Being a 'Nice Guy'00:07:32 - Generational Chains: How 'Nice Guy' Traits Are Passed Down00:11:13 - The Journey to Authenticity: Why Breaking Free is So Hard00:20:24 - Media Influence on Masculinity00:25:04 - Optimism for the Future00:31:52 - Leaving the Nice Guy Behind: Embracing Your True Self00:32:22 - Masculine Embodiment: What It Really Means00:35:00 - Grounding and Breathwork: Tools for Men to Reclaim Their Power00:40:26 - Shedding Shame: The Power of Vulnerability and Honesty00:46:54 - The Rise of Men's Groups: Why Men Need Other Men00:49:22 - Setting Boundaries: The Foundation for Healthy Relationships00:56:28 - Redefining Modern Masculinity: Dr. Glover’s Final ThoughtsLinks and Resources:Dr. Robert GloverDr. Glover on YouTubeNo More Mr. Nice GuyDr. Glover on FacebookDiscover Your Nice Guy PatternHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Alex Charfen opens up about his decision to walk away from a successful business, despite its financial success, to focus on personal alignment and deeper connection in his life. He shares the intense physical and emotional toll that running a business can take and discusses the importance of recognizing when it's time to shift priorities. Alex pushes back against hustle culture, explaining the value of self-awareness, presence, and intentional living over constant work.Chapters00:00:00 - Welcome and Why This Episode Could Change Your Approach to Success00:01:40 - Alex Charfen's Unfiltered Story: From Success to Personal Evolution00:02:28 - Walking Away from Millions: Shutting Down for True Growth00:03:55 - The Moment Alex Decided to Close His Business00:05:41 - Unexpected Reactions: The Support Alex Never Expected00:07:05 - Rethinking What It Means to Win as an Entrepreneur00:12:57 - Why Your Relationship is More Important Than Your Business00:18:35 - Confronting Your Identity: The Real Work Behind Personal Growth00:22:40 - The Real Cost of Hustle Culture: Burnout and Beyond00:24:21 - Entrepreneurial Anxiety: How It Shows Up and What to Do00:28:25 - When Financial Success Feels Like Failure00:31:14 - The Deep Journey to Finding Presence in Life00:34:58 - How Presence Transforms Relationships (and Business)00:40:28 - Daily Practices for Staying Grounded in a Fast-Moving World00:42:07 - Creating Sacred Spaces for Deeper Connections00:44:37 - Closing Thoughts and A Challenge to Redefine Your Own SuccessLinks and Resources:Alex CharfenAlex on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Thomas Pfanner discusses the challenges and responsibilities of modern fatherhood, going into the importance of stepping up as leaders in our families. He shares his insights on balancing the role of a father with the pressures of societal expectations, particularly in the face of social media's growing influence on our children. Tune in to hear Hector and Thomas talk about the need for fathers to reclaim their leadership roles, build real-world skills in their kids, and maintain strong family values in an ever-changing world. By leading with conviction and purpose, fathers can guide their children toward a confident and fulfilling life!Chapters:00:00:00 - Introduction: What This Episode Covers00:00:48 - Why Fathers Need to Lead with Purpose00:03:42 - Facing the Challenges of Being a Modern Dad00:05:31 - Balancing the Role of a Stepparent00:09:37 - How Social Media Shapes Parenting Today00:13:52 - Fathers as the Pillars of Family Leadership00:18:59 - Equipping Kids with Essential Life Skills00:23:00 - Building Confidence Through Real-World Experiences00:24:00 - Developing Grit and Toughness in Kids00:27:00 - Addressing the Influence of Technology on Children00:29:00 - The ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ Effect: Media’s Impact on Fatherhood00:32:00 - The Challenge of Avoiding Conflict and Leading with Strength00:34:00 - Understanding When and How to Stand Your Ground00:37:36 - Defining What Modern Masculinity Means00:39:16 - Final Thoughts and How to Take ActionLinks And Resources:Thomas on LinkedInDads Who LeadThe Leadership DadHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Chuck Chapman shares his transformative journey from a life shaped by societal expectations to one of authenticity and integrity. Facing a personal crisis, Chuck embarked on a path of self-discovery that led him to redefine masculinity and embrace a new set of values. He discusses the importance of courage, the process of unlearning inherited beliefs, and how men can navigate life's inevitable challenges with integrity. Chuck's insights provide a compelling roadmap for anyone looking to align their life with their true values and live more authentically.Chapters:00:00:00 - Kicking Off: What’s in Store for Today’s Episode00:00:49 - The Silent Struggles of Modern Men: Finding Brotherhood Online00:01:41 - Personal Battles: Relating to the Challenges Celebrities Face00:03:41 - Chuck Chapman Joins: A Conversation About Redefining Masculinity00:04:24 - From Crisis to Purpose: Chuck’s Journey to Authentic Living00:07:01 - Brotherhood in Action: How Integration Nation is Changing Lives00:07:32 - Handling Life’s Curveballs: Chuck’s Personal Challenges and Insights00:09:48 - The Masculine Crossroads: Choosing Depth Over Repetition00:16:39 - Your Guide to Integrity: Exploring the 16 Virtues of a Fulfilling Life00:24:08 - Breaking the Chains: Aligning Your Life with True Values00:24:50 - The Power of Assertiveness: Stepping into Your Authentic Self00:28:00 - Dismantling the Nice Guy Syndrome: Embracing Your True Masculine Energy00:32:16 - Mastering Relationship Dynamics: Balancing Integrity and Connection00:37:06 - Escaping Cultural Traps: Redefining Masculinity on Your Terms00:41:02 - Wrapping Up: Key Takeaways and Where to Dive DeeperLinks And Resources:Chuck ChapmanFinding Your Way Without Losing YourselfHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Jeff Boyer breaks down the myth of traditional success and the impact it has on men today. He shares how he went from achieving external success to realizing it left him unfulfilled and searching for deeper meaning. Jeff explains the pressures men face in trying to meet societal expectations, often at the expense of their true selves. His insights will challenge men to rethink what it means to be successful, urging guys to prioritize their inner well-being over societal benchmarks. Be sure to listen in, especially if you’re questioning the path you’re on.Chapters:00:00:00 - Unveiling the Journey: Introduction and Meet Jeff Boyer00:02:25 - The Modern Masculinity Safari: Jeff's Insightful Welcome00:03:22 - Behind the Curtain of Success: The Hidden Struggles00:05:17 - Navigating Chaos: Finding Direction in the Storm00:06:52 - Owning Up: The Power of Accountability and Growth00:07:50 - Life in Balance: The Tug-of-War Between Business and Family00:12:40 - Staying Grounded: The Key to True Happiness00:18:22 - Breaking Free: Society’s Expectations vs. Personal Fulfillment00:21:44 - Rewriting the Script: Challenging Traditional Masculinity00:22:11 - Early Warnings: The Value of Early Realizations00:22:36 - The Liberation: Escaping the Norms to Rediscover Yourself00:23:31 - Reviving Old Passions: The Journey Back to Hobbies00:24:07 - Mastering the Mundane: The Strength of Habits and Routine00:25:45 - Healing the Wounds: Triumph Over Personal Trauma00:30:57 - Breathwork as a Lifeline: Healing from the Inside Out00:36:33 - Embracing Nature: Finding Inner Peace in the Outdoors00:40:51 - Redefining Strength: A New Look at Modern MasculinityLinks and Resources:Jeff BoyerHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

William Branum, a former Navy SEAL, joins us to explore the intricacies of modern masculinity. He shares his journey of embracing vulnerability, the strength in asking for help, and the critical importance of self-reflection through after action reviews. William discusses the balance between toughness and empathy, revealing how removing the metaphorical armor can lead to genuine healing and growth. He offers insights into the challenges he faces, including a current legal battle, and how his mindset of resilience and learning from failure guides him. This conversation is a deep dive into redefining strength and emotional intelligence in today's world.Chapters:00:00:00 - Welcome and Introduction to William Branum00:01:46 - Embracing Vulnerability: A Strength, Not a Weakness00:04:33 - Healing and Growth: The Journey of Balancing Both00:06:19 - Redefining Masculinity: The Importance of Communication00:14:17 - Turning Failures into Success: Lessons from a Navy SEAL00:22:43 - Legal Battles and Resilience: Embracing Challenges00:24:03 - Overcoming the Fear of Judgment and Embracing Failure00:25:27 - Building Unshakable Confidence: Flexing the IDGAF Muscle00:26:59 - SEAL Training Insights: Building Physical and Mental Resilience00:29:34 - Mastering Your Inner Game: Controlling Emotions and Ego00:34:11 - The Power of Vulnerability and Building Support Networks00:43:47 - Modern Masculinity: Being a Safe Container for OthersLinks And Resources:William Branum on LinkedInNaked Warrior RecoveryHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Tiziano Sguerso joins Hector for a conversation on the impact of family narratives and generational trauma on our lives. Tiziano shares his journey from being a professional kickboxer to becoming a family constellation therapist, and the insights he's gained about love, relationships, and the essential roles of men and women in the family. They also talk about the struggles of modern masculinity, the significance of trust and leadership in parental roles, and the often unseen effects of missing father figures. Be sure to tune in to hear this compelling exploration of how our familial past influences our present!Chapters:00:00:00 - Welcome and Meet Tiziano Sguerso: A Journey from Kickboxing to Healing00:01:10 - Family Narratives: How Our Past Shapes Our Relationships00:02:52 - Tiziano's Transformation: From the Ring to Family Constellations00:04:11 - Generational Trauma: Unraveling the Hidden Stories of Our Ancestors00:06:48 - The Depths of Love: Understanding and Healing Relationships00:10:30 - Unseen Forces: How Subconscious Patterns Influence Our Lives00:14:13 - Masculinity Under Pressure: Facing Modern Challenges00:17:22 - The Battle Within: Men's Struggles in Today’s World00:20:39 - Redefining Roles: Men and Women in Family Dynamics00:25:54 - Tradition vs. Progress: Navigating Changing Family Values00:29:06 - When Parents Are Absent: The Emotional Toll on Children00:32:08 - Building Trust: The Impact of Parental Leadership00:33:22 - Sexuality and Harmony: Achieving Balance in Relationships00:36:43 - Energy Management: Handling Personal Emotions and Energies00:39:52 - Family Constellations Explained: A Path to Understanding00:42:28 - Self-Improvement Journey: Steps to Personal Growth00:46:10 - Honoring Fathers: Rebuilding Trust and Respect00:48:14 - Final Reflections: Wrapping Up with Tiziano's InsightLinks And Resources:Tiziano Sguerso - Systemic Therapy, Spiritual & Family ConstellationsTiziano on InstagramAll of Tiziano’s LinksHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!