Modern Masculinity

Hector welcomes Dr. Michael Brabant, a transformational psychologist and founder of Candor & Coherence, to explore what it really means to evolve as a man in today’s world. From confronting inherited patterns of stoicism and shame to understanding the power of emotional multiplicity through Internal Family Systems (IFS), this conversation is a masterclass in modern manhood. Michael offers real talk on the grind culture trap, the necessity of rest, and how true fulfillment comes not from chasing success, but from aligning with your soul. The episode calls on listeners to redefine strength—not as control or domination, but as the courage to feel deeply, grieve honestly, and live with unwavering authenticity. If you've ever felt like you were doing all the right things and still felt off-center, this episode might be the nudge your inner compass has been waiting for.Chapters:00:00:00 - A Different Kind of Masculine Conversation Begins00:00:37 - Why Your Inner Parts Might Be Running the Show00:01:59 - What Today’s Man Is Secretly Struggling With00:02:57 - How I Built a Business That Didn’t Betray My Soul00:04:32 - Escaping Survival Mode: The Real Upgrade00:07:48 - The Inner Voices That Shape Your Life00:12:07 - Masculine Archetypes Aren’t Just Theory00:15:39 - Why Men Must Grieve to Grow00:20:23 - The Real Process of Shedding Old Selves00:29:45 - What Rest Reveals About Who’s In Charge00:35:02 - Addiction, Avoidance, and Facing What’s Real00:43:04 - Rethinking Masculinity from the Inside OutLinks And Resources:Dr. Michael Brabant on LinkedInCandor and Coherence Hector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector sits down with Zach Richards, co-founder of REI Capital Guys, to explore the quiet power of private lending and the deeper meaning of financial freedom. Zach breaks down how true freedom isn’t about flashy cars or massive portfolios—it’s about owning your time, minimizing stress, and building systems that let you live life on your terms. From the difference between risky speculation and dependable cash flow, to the invisible labor of family life, this conversation hits hard for any man seeking more than hustle—someone striving for balance, stability, and intentional growth.Chapters:00:00:00 - Why This Episode Might Change the Way You See Freedom00:00:38 - Zach Richards: From Code to Capital00:01:52 - How Private Lending Quietly Changed His Life00:03:04 - Balancing the Mission and the Marriage00:03:26 - The Moment Everything Pivoted00:05:35 - Redefining Who You Are (and What You Want)00:09:31 - What Real Financial Freedom Feels Like00:14:09 - Being a Provider Without Losing Yourself00:31:28 - Staying Steady in a World on Fire00:33:31 - One Final Thought Every Man Should HearLinks And Resources:Website: REI Capital Guys CommunityFree eBook: Private Lending GuideZach Richards on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector sits down with certified men's coach Damon Mitchell for an unfiltered and enlightening conversation on meditation, masculinity, and the pursuit of wholeness. Damon shares how sobriety and meditation reshaped his identity and gave him the tools to engage more consciously in relationships — not just with others, but with himself. Together, they unpack the shifting roles of men in a post-feminist society, the quiet strength in contemplative practices, and the often unspoken struggles of modern manhood. Whether you’re navigating identity beyond addiction, redefining masculinity, or just looking for a more grounded way to show up in your life — this episode is an open invitation to explore your inner terrain with honesty and humility.Expect no fluff, just real talk on emotional resilience, self-awareness, and the messy, beautiful work of becoming whole.Chapters:00:00:00 - What We Were Never Taught About Being Men00:02:48 - Meeting the Man Behind the Transformation00:03:22 - From Addiction to Awareness: Damon's Turning Point00:03:55 - Why Most Men Can’t Heal Alone00:09:15 - The Practice That Created Space (and Saved Him)00:14:41 - Can Meditation Make You a Better Man?00:20:10 - Masculinity Isn’t Broken — It’s Evolving00:22:55 - The Father Wound and the Pendulum Swing00:24:45 - From Resistance to Reverence: Learning Stillness00:26:09 - What Most Guys Get Wrong About Meditation00:30:51 - Does Meditation Conflict with Religion?00:36:55 - If You’re Just Starting, Start Here00:42:08 - The Invitation: What Kind of Man Are You Becoming?Links And Resources:Intenitonalize My Life Coaching Intake FormThe Intentionalize My Life's WebsiteModern Masculinity Podcast FormSubstackDamon on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector sits down with Shaun Emerson, Development Lead at MenLiving, to explore the raw, unfiltered truths about modern manhood. Together, they dig into the emotional weight men silently carry—loneliness, anxiety, and the societal pressure to “suck it up.” Shaun shares how his transition from tech executive to nonprofit leader reshaped his understanding of masculinity, revealing the power of community, emotional honesty, and radical self-exploration. From generational programming to relationship dynamics, the episode asks: what does it mean to be a modern man in today’s world—and how can we redefine masculinity to include strength and sensitivity? Whether you’re new to men’s work or deep in the process, this episode will challenge you, affirm you, and invite you into a deeper connection—with yourself and your brothers.Chapters:00:00:00 - What Does It Mean to Be a Man Today?00:01:42 - Shaun Emerson Steps Into the Circle00:02:31 - From Corporate Hustle to Conscious Connection00:04:08 - Why Most Men Don’t Talk (and Why That’s Changing)00:06:31 - Making It Normal for Men to Feel00:10:50 - The Power of Inner Work00:12:35 - Alone in a Crowd: The Hidden Epidemic00:15:47 - Masculine, Feminine & the Energy Between00:18:57 - Real Stories, Real Feelings00:39:14 - One Last Truth & Where to Go NextLinks And Resources:MenLiving.org📧 Email Shaun: shaun@menliving.orgShaun Emerson on LinkedIn 📖 Recommended Book: Rescuing Our Sons by Dr. John DuffyHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector sits down with Dal Houston — attorney, rancher, motivational speaker, and self-proclaimed “eccentric cowboy” — to challenge the worn-out scripts of modern masculinity. Together, they unpack the deep emotional power of personal style, the importance of expressing your individuality (even if it means rocking British riding boots to a UFC fight), and why aging should be about speeding up, not slowing down.From growing up in a blue-collar world with little room for uniqueness, to discovering the grounding force of tall cowboy boots and bespoke fashion, Dal offers a refreshing, grounded, and unapologetic take on what it means to be a man today. This episode is a wake-up call for any man stuck in a life of “soul-deadening” sameness, reminding us that life should be lived “hard, fun, and full of expression.”If you’ve ever felt out of place while trying to fit in — this one’s for you.Chapters:00:00:00 – Meet the Eccentric Cowboy Who’s Redefining Masculinity00:00:50 – Why What You Wear Could Be the Key to Who You Are00:01:56 – From Shy Rancher to Fashion-Forward Philosopher00:03:19 – Getting Stared At and Still Showing Up: The Price of Authenticity00:05:27 – Stop Copying. Start Dressing Like You Mean It.00:14:48 – Style Isn’t Trendy. It’s Timeless (Here’s How to Find Yours)00:28:26 – Law, Livestock, Leather: How to Be All of Yourself at Once00:39:51 – Don’t Slow Down. This Is What Modern Masculinity Really Looks LikeLinks And Resources:Website: www.dalhouston.comDal on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Todd Miechiels joins Hector Santiesteban to explore the transformational journey from defining manhood by titles and income to redefining it through faith, humility, and service. Todd shares his call from the business world into the mission field, revealing how surrendering traditional measures of success led to a life of deeper intimacy with God and others. Together, they unpack how modern men can find purpose not in what they produce, but in who they become—and why knowing and sharing your personal story is one of the most courageous and impactful acts of leadership today.Chapters:00:00:00 - Called Into Purpose00:01:52 - A Man Interrupted00:02:58 - Wrestling With God00:04:53 - Reawakening the Soul00:07:18 - Where Is God Now?00:09:04 - Doubt, Faith, and Identity00:13:34 - Brotherhood and Becoming00:22:54 - Learning From the Carpenter00:27:02 - What Grace Really Means00:27:22 - An Invitation to Skeptics00:27:33 - Why He Chose the Cross00:28:49 - A Love That Costs Everything00:29:19 - Stories That Shape Us00:31:12 - The Rescue Begins00:32:48 - God Speaks in Many Ways00:37:47 - The Resurrection Reframed00:45:31 - Redefining Manhood Through FaithLinks And Resources:Todd's Personal WebsiteStory Stewardship FoundationHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector sits down with award-winning podcaster and fellow storyteller Matt Gilhooly to explore the unraveling of Hector’s past relationship and the identity crisis that followed his greatest professional success. Together, they peel back the layers of ego, childhood conditioning, and the craving for external validation that many men silently carry. With emotional honesty and unflinching vulnerability, Hector shares what it means to look “successful” on the outside but feel disconnected on the inside — and how that dissonance became the catalyst for a new journey toward wholeness. This episode is a raw look into the modern masculine experience: the hidden shame, the healing process, and the redemptive power of reflection.Chapters:0:00:00 - Welcome to the Episode That Changes Everything00:02:03 - Opening the Vault: Where the Real Story Begins00:02:59 - Young Love, Old Patterns: The Roots of It All00:05:07 - Success, Ego, and the Illusion of “Having It All”00:09:44 - Marriage Starts Fast… But So Do the Cracks00:13:25 - Craving Control While Losing Connection00:15:18 - When Identity Collides with Intimacy00:17:42 - The Slow Burn of Resentment00:20:11 - Seeking Peace but Breeding Distance00:22:47 - The Relationship Becomes a Mirror You Avoid00:25:32 - Fatherhood Hits Harder Than Expected00:33:56 - Health Scares, Family Shifts, and the Weight of It All00:34:53 - The “Perfect” Neighborhood That Didn’t Fix Everything00:35:36 - Parenting Together While Drifting Apart00:36:47 - When Validation Replaces Connection00:37:30 - The Vasectomy That Said More Than Words00:39:39 - Speaking, But Not Hearing: When Communication Fails00:42:43 - Spiraling: The Pain Beneath the Patterns00:45:35 - Reclaiming Identity After Losing Yourself00:56:27 - Co-Parenting in the Aftermath: Navigating a New Normal00:01:00:56 - What Purpose Feels Like After the Breakdown00:01:03:28 - Wrapping Up: Reflections, Resources, and What’s NextLinks And Resources:WebsiteThe Life Shift PodcastInstagramTwitter/XHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector Santiesteban welcomes back Ed Frauenheim, co-author of Reinventing Masculinity and co-founder of The Teal Team, for a timely and timeless discussion on evolving manhood. Ed takes us deep into his current work challenging the "Tough Guy Show" culture—especially in traditionally masculine spaces like the ski industry—and sheds light on how that outdated performance is mirrored in global leadership. Together, they unpack the emotional, societal, and spiritual costs of stoicism, and why today's man must learn to embrace vulnerability, interdependence, and self-reflection to grow. Whether you're navigating fatherhood, rethinking your career, or searching for community, this conversation offers a compass toward something more grounded, authentic, and liberating.Chapters:00:00:00 - Welcome to the Masculine Shift00:01:39 - Chaos, Headlines & Our Mental State00:02:39 - Rethinking Manhood in Real Time00:04:49 - Panic, Purpose, and Personal Truths00:06:59 - Scrolling, Boundaries & Staying Grounded00:09:06 - Power, Pressure & Performing Masculinity00:12:45 - Is Vulnerability Still Seen as Weakness?00:15:08 - Trump, Culture, and the Mirror of Manhood00:18:22 - What Are We Teaching Young Men?00:21:30 - Redefining Strength Through Collaboration00:23:42 - Who’s Really Holding the Power?00:29:17 - Hope for Young Men & the Road AheadLinks And Resources:WebsiteThe Teal TeamEd Frauenheim on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Hector is joined by Kevin Cronister—father of five, cybercrimes detective, and CEO of Guardian Training Solutions—to explore one of the most urgent and uncomfortable threats facing modern families: the growing epidemic of online child exploitation. Kevin pulls back the curtain on the grooming process, shares how predators infiltrate games like Roblox and Fortnite, and explains why a strong, present father figure is the #1 deterrent to child predators. This episode delivers vital tools, real-world stories, and a framework for men who want to embody the protector archetype in a rapidly evolving digital world. It's not just about fear—it's about informed, masculine leadership that protects the most vulnerable. If you're a father or aspire to be one, this episode is a must-listen.Chapters:00:00:00 - Kicking Off a Must-Hear Conversation for Every Man00:00:56 - Enter Kevin Chronister: Protector, Father, Detective00:01:11 - How the Predator Playbook Has Evolved00:02:00 - Why Dads Can’t Afford to Sit This One Out00:03:35 - Kevin's Raw Story: Juggling Fatherhood and Fighting Crime00:07:32 - 36 Million Reasons This Crisis Can’t Be Ignored00:10:25 - How Online Predators Are Grooming Kids—And Getting Away With It00:17:10 - The Superpower Predators Fear Most: An Engaged Father00:20:03 - The Digital Defense Plan Every Parent Needs00:23:38 - “He’s Just a Friend Online” – Think Again00:24:26 - AI, Deepfakes, and the Future of Predatory Tech00:25:39 - Screen Time Rules That Could Save a Life00:28:33 - Spotting the Subtle Signs of a Grooming Attempt00:34:56 - When Kids Change: What Behavior Might Be Telling You00:39:19 - Easy Wins That Make a Big Safety Impact00:44:48 - Where to Go Next: Tools, Resources, and Real TalkLinks And Resources:Kevin on LinkedInGuardian Training SolutionsHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!

Fatherhood today comes with unique challenges—especially in a world dominated by screens, shifting gender roles, and the increasing struggles of young men. In this episode, Tom Bresnahan, a former Hollywood actor turned mentor and therapist, shares his journey from entertainment to empowering teenage boys. He discusses the impact of technology on young minds, the importance of emotional intelligence in parenting, and the delicate balance between discipline and understanding. Whether you're a solo dad, co-parent, or simply a man seeking to break generational cycles, this conversation provides deep insights and actionable strategies for raising resilient, emotionally healthy children.Chapters00:00:00 - Kicking Off the Conversation: Meet Tom Bresnahan00:02:08 - From Hollywood to Helping Young Men: Tom’s Journey00:03:59 - The Reality of Modern Fatherhood: Challenges & Pressures00:06:39 - Raising Emotionally Strong Kids: The Power of EQ00:11:33 - Tech, Screens & Social Media: How They’re Changing Our Boys00:14:55 - Men’s Role in a Rapidly Changing World00:17:56 - Facing Personal Struggles & Breaking Old Patterns00:20:42 - Raising Boys Who Thrive: What They Need from Us00:22:49 - The Critical Role of Mentors in a Young Man’s Life00:23:04 - What Happened to Rites of Passage? Why Boys Need Them00:24:52 - The Me Too Era & The Modern Man’s Dilemma00:25:45 - Masculinity in Crisis: Why Men Feel Lost00:26:45 - Breaking the Stigma: It’s Okay to Be a Man00:27:31 - Where Do Men Fit in Today’s Society?00:28:31 - The Masculinity Crisis: How We Fix It00:34:38 - Fatherhood Done Right: Key Lessons for Raising Boys00:37:09 - Practical Support: Programs & Resources for Parents00:41:11 - Defining Modern Masculinity: Strength, Balance & PurposeLinks And Resources:Tom on LinkedInTake Back Control by Tom BresnahanHector Santiesteban on LinkedInHector Santiesteban on TwitterThanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Modern Masculinity? Have some feedback you’d like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!